The Best 47 Progressive Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Progressive jokes. There are some progressive policies jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these progressive stupider puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Progressive Jokes and Puns
Is it true that the Somalia is the most progressive country in the world?
Of course! The life was already better yesterday than it's going to be tomorrow!
In a progressively incestuous household...
...it's about upping the auntie
After progressively lifting heavier weights, I was finally able to squat 600 pounds.
Unfortunately, all that money still weighs less than a kilo.
I don't get why everybody hates on ISIS....
Their drug policy, for one, is incredibly progressive. Women get stoned legally over there all the time!
When people get condescending about social issues...
"Hey, Flo just called... They want you back at Progressive."
Hillary Clinton IS a progressive
Her lies in particular.
Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use?
Progressive.
What's Bernie Sanders's favorite insurance company?
Progressive
*this just popped up in my head while in the shower. If already posted I apologize in advance*
Just got back from a progressive orgy..
it was an LGBLT
I just got a socially progressive phone...
It has an LGBTQWERTY keyboard
News stand owners need to become more progressive
They're always behind the Times!
You can explore progressive articulate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean progressive libtard dad jokes. There are also progressive puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Did you ever notice...
That Kansas is a progressive rock band but a conservative state?
You can't say America isn't inclusive and progressive
The Current president is a black man and latest election was between a female and a mentally handicapped person.
Why don't progressives go to the dentist?
Because dentists like everything straight and white.
Progressives are enraged, conservatives are cautiously optimistic, but no group is more excited than the Imagineers of Disney.
For the first time in the history of the Hall of Presidents, they have a shot at making an audioanimatronic more realistic than the original.
What's the opposite of a progressive?
A French tank.
Saturated fats, unsaturated fats.. Even trans fats!
It's quite the progressive age, my friends.
Progressive and allstate used to be one insurance company..
.. but nobody wanted prostate insurance.
I care about gay and transgender rights, but not enough to vote or do anything about it.
I'm passive progressive.
These white supremacists and neo-Nazis need new prescription eyeglasses.
So at least something about them is progressive.
In a progressive move, Mattel is making a new boyfriend for Barbie who's a homeless man from New Jersey
Hobo Ken.
Insurance companies have a growing trend of hiring transsexuals...
It's quite Progressive of them.
I approached a lesbian at a bar.
I wasn't aware she was a lesbian at the time, so I asked if she would like to go home with me.
"How rude!" she responded. "Did you just assume my sexuality? I'll have you know that I'm not interested in men!"
I'm a fairly progressive man, so I wasn't going to let her beat me at my own game.
"How rude!" I shouted, catching her attention as she walked away. "Did you just assume my gender?"
My friend and his girlfriend just got a puppy . They're a progressive couple, so they gave their dog a gender neutral name.
Now the thing thinks it can just go to the bathroom wherever it wants.
As my mother got older, her vision got worse so her optometrist prescribed her progressive lenses...
Now she can't see race.
I appauld Amazon for being progressive on the whole "Who can use which restroom issue".
They don't care who pees in what bottle.
We live in a progressive society.
Everyone is getting progressively stupider.
My new car only plays Rush and Dream Theater.
Apparently it's because my insurance is Progressive
English is the most progressive language
Our words don't have genders
Today i realised that Kung Fu Panda was actually a very progressive movie
Not only is the protagonist such a minority that he is literally an endangered species, he is also portrayed by a Black man
I don't fuss over the difference between "can" and "may" like other English teachers.
In fact, once a student asked me this: "Can you give me an example of future progressive tense?"
I responded with "Certainly. I will be seeing you after class."
He must have wanted another example, as he was still standing in my classroom when I arrived the next day.
My friend has turned extremely progressive since the last time I saw him
We met up for drinks and he ordered gender fluid.
What metal genre do Social Justice Warriors listen to?
Progressive metal
What does a progressive conservative look like?
I dunno, it's hard to tell when they're all 6 feet underground.
People say Ben Shapiro doesn't work out. I disagree
He's the king of progressive overload
What do you call a progressive coffee shop?
Stay Woke
I am taking a stand to be progressive. I support youthinasia.
So I adopted a kid from there. Sorrymyspace bar isn't working allthetime now.
The left likes to act like they're so progressive..
But look who put the first mentally retarded person in the white house.
If you think about it, Futurama was an extremely progressive show.
Truly ahead of its time.
Chess is a very progressive game...
Because if the soldier gets to the enemy's territory, his reward is getting to marry the king.
It's strange to see all these NASCAR fans upset with NASCAR for taking a progressive stance.
Normally they seem to like seeing things turning to the left.
What's the most progressive thing about Joe Biden?
His dementia
What do you call a progressive Ewok?
An Ewoke
Sorry, and double sorry if someone else has already thought of this. Thought if it today on my own, but figure it's been done...
Ancient Egypt must have been super progressive
I mean, all their daddies ended up turning into mummies.
Progressive and Allstate decided to merge and become one company
They're now called "Prostate"
Why was the ghost progressive?
Because he had transparents.
Aside from King Crimson, did any other seminal progressive rock bands form in London in 1968?
Yes
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the progressive trans jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working progressive prosperous piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.