Following is our collection of funny Programme jokes. There are some programme cbs jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these programme programme director puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
goes to do groceries. His wife tell him:
-- Buy a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, buy a dozen.
He comes back with thirteen loaves of bread.
-- But why?, she asks.
-- They had eggs.
A wife says to her programmer husband, "Honey, go to the store and get a gallon of milk; if they have eggs, get a dozen."
He comes back with only 12 gallons of milk and says, "They had eggs."
None, it's a hardware problem!
They don't have any inheritance.
Or...
Why should you not date a C programmer?
They have no class.
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep
...and finds his wife crying. "Ever since we got married you've avoided this question. Now I want an answer: Do you really love me or did you just marry me so you won't be alone?"
So he replies: "Yes".
None. We don't address hardware issues.
A programmer's wife sends him to the grocery store with the instructions, get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen. He comes home with a dozen loaf of bread and tells her, they had eggs.
A programmers wife tells him: Run to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.
The programmer comes back with 12 loaves of bread...
She says "Get a gallon of milk. If they have eggs, get 12."
The programmer returns with 12 gallons of milk.
His wife says "grab a loaf of bread and if they have eggs get a dozen"
He comes home with twelve loaves of bread.
You can explore programme bbc reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean programme broadcast dad jokes. There are also programme puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
None, it is a hardware issue!
He demands, "Are you suggesting women are primitives?"
A programmer went to go grocery shopping. He called his wife and asked what was needed.
His wife said: "You need to get 2 loaves of bread. Oh, and also, if there's eggs, buy a dozen."
So he came home with a dozen loaves of bread.
Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)
She says buy bread, and if there are eggs get a dozen.
He came home with twelve loaves of bread
Byte-sized.
She tell him, "Get some bacon, if there's milk get three."
He comes back with three packs of bacon and no milk.
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
"Yes."
An ||gasm.
Because he didn't get arrays.
A programmer goes on a walk. Before he leaves the house his wife tells him: "While you are outside, please buy some bread."
He never returned.
Because they get undie find errors.
They have no class
Because getting to sleep was a fuss.
When laying in her bed
Looping round in her head
Was: while (!asleep()): sheep++;
But I can make an array of floats...
"Hello world!"
var celebration = ["Hip", "Hip"];
because it has too many bugs
A room mate asked his friend who is a programmer to go shopping.
"hey, can you buy a bottle of milk? Oh and if they have eggs, buy 12"
So the programmer went shopping.
When he got back, he bought 12 bottle of milk and his room mate asked
"why the heck did you bought 12 bottle of milk?!"
The programmer responded.
"they have eggs"
They tend to objectify them.
*I'll see myself out*
DEC 25 == OCT 31
One full of water in case he gets thirsty and an empty one in case he doesn't.
Because he wanted arrays
A programmer is heading to the store and gets a text from his wife:
While you are out, buy some eggs
He never returned.
Cause they do a lot of codeine.
They have a lot of arguments.
As he was leaving the house his wife said: "While you are there, buy some milk". He never came back.
gf.getString();
Amidst their chatting, one of them approaches the receptionist:
"Table for 8, please"
"Are you sure, Mister?" she replied. "I can see there are actually 9 of you here"
"What? No, you're mistaken. We're 8 people, look"
He turns around, and begins doing a head count:
"0, 1, 2, 3..."
They're still developing
The wife says, While you're there, buy some milk.
He never came back.ο»Ώ
I tried to hide what I was doing and quickly changed the TV channel but it switched to a programme about disfigured babies. She saw what I was doing and saw what was on TV, so now she thinks I get turned on by disfigured babies. I mean, how unlucky is that? The same programme being on at the same time on two different channels!
Because there are no bugs...
The instructions on the shampoo bottle said-
"Lather, Rinse, Repeat."
They hack.
but at least we can all agree 0!=1
They treat their dates as objects.
Because
OCT 31 = DEC 25
She says, We're out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six.
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?
He replies, They had eggs.
There are too many bugs
Whatever is in the dress code.
A heckler yells at him: "Why do you keep doing that weird forward-slash thing?!"
He responds: "Don't you know? The best jokes are always in the comments."
One has got a quality newspaper, the other an antisemitic rag. "Why on earth are you reading that?" one asks. "I used to read aΒ quality paper like you," the other sighs, "but I couldn't handle it any more β the rockets from Gaza and Hezbollah getting stronger every day and the Iranian nuclear programme and the suffering economy and growing antisemitism across Europeβ¦" He points to the antisemitic rag. "NowΒ I read this and I feel much better. Turns outΒ there's actually a Jewish global conspiracy and we control the entire world."
But you might not get it.
"Help! I can't C#"
A programmer is going to the grocery store and his wife tells him, "Buy a gallon of milk, and if there are eggs, buy a dozen." So the programmer goes, buys everything, and drives back to his house. Upon arrival, his wife angrily asks him, "Why did you get 13 gallons of milk?" The programmer says, "There were eggs!"
Ask them to complete the list: int, char, str...
Arrays
Why did the functions stop calling each other?
Ans: Because they had too many arguments.
They grab a byte
They are made to C#.
// the real joke is always in the comments
He couldn't C#.
You're a bit too much.
... by getting the 0th position. Hip hip Array!!
(Happy new year everyone!)
Because the light attracts too many bugs
[cr
They both can sit in the same position for long time and get excited when they find a bug
"Go to the store to buy some eggs", she says, "If they have avocadoes get 6". The programmer returns with some eggs and 6 avocadoes because he's a programmer and not a badly written program.
So I programmed an new Operating System.
I named it as a "Tetra-Hedral Artificial Neural Operating System."
Unfortunately, ThanOS took over my computer and wiped out half my files.
A programmer walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says I'll have three beers please.
He raised his middle finger and his thumb to the bartender and said "5 beers please".
He raises up two fingers and said "3 beers please"
It yells BOOLEAN
So that he could c#
(C sharp)
Cause light attracts bugs.
He was a PDF file
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the programme espn jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working programme adapt piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.