Following is our collection of funny Program jokes. There are some program captcha jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these program winrawr puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
goes to do groceries. His wife tell him:
-- Buy a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, buy a dozen.
He comes back with thirteen loaves of bread.
-- But why?, she asks.
-- They had eggs.
None, it's a hardware problem!
None. We don't address hardware issues.
My dream school turned me down.
So I wrote them back and told them I wasn't even interested in their stupid program. They sent me a diploma.
She says "Get a gallon of milk. If they have eggs, get 12."
The programmer returns with 12 gallons of milk.
His wife says "grab a loaf of bread and if they have eggs get a dozen"
He comes home with twelve loaves of bread.
None, it is a hardware issue!
He demands, "Are you suggesting women are primitives?"
A programmer went to go grocery shopping. He called his wife and asked what was needed.
His wife said: "You need to get 2 loaves of bread. Oh, and also, if there's eggs, buy a dozen."
So he came home with a dozen loaves of bread.
Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)
Some are in the Witness Protection Program.
You can explore program programme reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean program scheme dad jokes. There are also program puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Interviewer: "This job requires you to know Powerpoint, how skilled are you with the program"
Man: "Well, I Excel in Powerpoint"
Interviewer: "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun?"
Man: "Word."
She tell him, "Get some bacon, if there's milk get three."
He comes back with three packs of bacon and no milk.
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
"Yes."
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Because that would be a sin-tax issue.
An ||gasm.
...what do they do? Put me in this amazing 12-step program.
At a small university there is the director of the Sociology program, the director of the Religious Studies program, the director of the Anthropology program and the university president. All four of them are heading to a conference in the next town over. The directors all decide to carpool, and the president is driving his Porsche behind them. On the way to the conference the directors loose control of their vehicle and crash into oncoming traffic. It's a horrific accident. The university president manages to stop his car, gets out, witnesses the accident and exclaims...
"Oh the Humanities!"
Because he didn't get arrays.
I said no, isn't he under the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program?
A programmer goes on a walk. Before he leaves the house his wife tells him: "While you are outside, please buy some bread."
He never returned.
No exceptions!
Adobe Wan Kenobi
Because they get undie find errors.
They have no class
Because getting to sleep was a fuss.
When laying in her bed
Looping round in her head
Was: while (!asleep()): sheep++;
But I can make an array of floats...
var celebration = ["Hip", "Hip"];
I just have to die first and give them my body
because it has too many bugs
A room mate asked his friend who is a programmer to go shopping.
"hey, can you buy a bottle of milk? Oh and if they have eggs, buy 12"
So the programmer went shopping.
When he got back, he bought 12 bottle of milk and his room mate asked
"why the heck did you bought 12 bottle of milk?!"
The programmer responded.
"they have eggs"
It keeps saying "Null point exception", so it works great.
They tend to objectify them.
*I'll see myself out*
The robot beats the human in every category. It comes to one of the last ones: hunting. The robot again beats the human. However, someone working there sets the animals free again and tells them to try get them again. The robot doesn't move whilst the human wins because
ROBOTS CANT RECAPTCHA
DEC 25 == OCT 31
.
99 programming bugs.
Take one down, patch it all up.
111 programming bugs in the code.
One full of water in case he gets thirsty and an empty one in case he doesn't.
A programmer is heading to the store and gets a text from his wife:
While you are out, buy some eggs
He never returned.
Cause they do a lot of codeine.
As he was leaving the house his wife said: "While you are there, buy some milk". He never came back.
Amidst their chatting, one of them approaches the receptionist:
"Table for 8, please"
"Are you sure, Mister?" she replied. "I can see there are actually 9 of you here"
"What? No, you're mistaken. We're 8 people, look"
He turns around, and begins doing a head count:
"0, 1, 2, 3..."
They will be ending their 'take your daughter to work' program.
They're still developing
The wife says, While you're there, buy some milk.
He never came back.
Because there are no bugs...
The instructions on the shampoo bottle said-
"Lather, Rinse, Repeat."
They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.
Because
OCT 31 = DEC 25
I couldn't make ends meet.
baseball.bat
She says, We're out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six.
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?
He replies, They had eggs.
Whatever is in the dress code.
I think it's maoware.
But you might not get it.
A programmer is going to the grocery store and his wife tells him, "Buy a gallon of milk, and if there are eggs, buy a dozen." So the programmer goes, buys everything, and drives back to his house. Upon arrival, his wife angrily asks him, "Why did you get 13 gallons of milk?" The programmer says, "There were eggs!"
Because light attracts bugs.
It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz
They grab a byte
// the real joke is always in the comments
You're a bit too much.
Because the light attracts too many bugs
She calls the program Snitches get Stitches
[cr
They both can sit in the same position for long time and get excited when they find a bug
"Go to the store to buy some eggs", she says, "If they have avocadoes get 6". The programmer returns with some eggs and 6 avocadoes because he's a programmer and not a badly written program.
A programmer walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says I'll have three beers please.
Also the charming photograph you enclosed. Whilst agreeing that she could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that the correct title of the series is actually "Fact Hunt". Kind regards Channel Four.
I had to be put in the Wetness Protection Program
The programmer's spouse asks the programmer to go to the store
The spouse says, "Get a loaf of bread, if they have eggs, get a dozen."
The programmer comes home with a dozen loaves of bread and says, "They had eggs."
John D'oh!
He makes sure there are two D2 teams.
The program has had some failures, but on the bright side at least the trains run on thyme.
Cause light attracts bugs.
it was the best dam program I've ever seen
they had to appeal to stakeholders.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the program exe jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working program eugenics piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.