Prog Jokes
93 prog jokes and hilarious prog puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about prog that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores some of the funniest jokes in progressive rock. From "loaf"-style puns to puns about the "plastic" conditions of prog music, get ready to laugh at these hilarious jokes!
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Best Short Prog Jokes
Short prog puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The prog humour may include short loaf jokes also.
- What are Captain Kirk's least favorite 1970's prog-rock bands? It's a tossup between the alan parsons PROJECT and GENESIS.
Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about prog can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of prog puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !
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Prog One Liners
Which prog one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with prog? I can suggest the ones about plastic and condition.
- A guy asked me if I could name a better prog-rock band than RUSH. I said Yes.
- The Republic must fall... Supreme financier Darth Soros
Dark lord of the progs. - Is there a better prog-rock band than Rush? Yes.
- Prog bands must hate today, because it's 4/4.
Comedy Prog Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about prog you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean programmer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make prog prank.
A programmer
goes to do groceries. His wife tell him:
-- Buy a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, buy a dozen.
He comes back with thirteen loaves of bread.
-- But why?, she asks.
-- They had eggs.
Programmer husband
A wife says to her programmer husband, "Honey, go to the store and get a gallon of milk; if they have eggs, get a dozen."
He comes back with only 12 gallons of milk and says, "They had eggs."
How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, it's a hardware problem!
Why are C programmers poor?
They don't have any inheritance.
Or...
Why should you not date a C programmer?
They have no class.
Why do programmers like UNIX?
unzip, s**..., touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep
A programmer gets home one day...
...and finds his wife crying. "Ever since we got married you've avoided this question. Now I want an answer: Do you really love me or did you just marry me so you won't be alone?"
So he replies: "Yes".
How many programmer does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. We don't address hardware issues.
In a progressively incestuous household...
...it's about upping the auntie
A programmer...
A programmer's wife sends him to the grocery store with the instructions, get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen. He comes home with a dozen loaf of bread and tells her, they had eggs.
A programmers wife tells him...
A programmers wife tells him: Run to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.
The programmer comes back with 12 loaves of bread...
A programmers wife asks him to go to the grocery
She says "Get a gallon of milk. If they have eggs, get 12."
The programmer returns with 12 gallons of milk.
A programming joke
There are three hard problems in computer concurrency. science. Cache invalidation, naming things, off-by-one errors, and
A programmer heads to the shops
His wife says "grab a loaf of bread and if they have eggs get a dozen"
He comes home with twelve loaves of bread.
How many programmers do you need to fix a light bulb?
None, it is a hardware issue!
A programmer gets upset when he hears women shouldn't be objectified...
He demands, "Are you suggesting women are primitives?"
A programmer went to go grocery shopping.
A programmer went to go grocery shopping. He called his wife and asked what was needed.
His wife said: "You need to get 2 loaves of bread. Oh, and also, if there's eggs, buy a dozen."
So he came home with a dozen loaves of bread.
[Programmer Joke] Why did the int drown?
Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)
A programmers wife tells him to buy groceries
She says buy bread, and if there are eggs get a dozen.
He came home with twelve loaves of bread
How do programmers like their snacks?
Byte-sized.
Programmers wife tells him to go to the store...
She tell him, "Get some bacon, if there's milk get three."
He comes back with three packs of bacon and no milk.
A programmer tells a coworker that his wife just had a baby
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
"Yes."
Programming is like s**....
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Why don't programers pay tax to the Devil?
Because that would be a sin-tax issue.
What does a programmer have during s**...?
An ||gasm.
What programming language do they use in Star Wars?
JawaScript
Why did the programmer quit his job?
Because he didn't get arrays.
A programmer goes on a walk
A programmer goes on a walk. Before he leaves the house his wife tells him: "While you are outside, please buy some bread."
He never returned.
Every program I write is completely error-free
No exceptions!
Which program do Jedi use to open PDF-files?
Adobe Wan Kenobi
Programming is like s**...
One mistake and you're providing support for a lifetime.
Why don't programmers go on p**... raids?
Because they get undie find errors.
What programming languages would we use if C didn't exist?
Ans: PASAL, OBOL and BASI
Why are C programmers never invited to parties?
They have no class
A programmer began to cuss
Because getting to sleep was a fuss.
When laying in her bed
Looping round in her head
Was: while (!asleep()): sheep++;
A programming genius named Sewter
Built a limerick-writing computer
The metre was fine
And the rhymes quite divine
But for some reason it always got the last line wrong
As a programmer, I may not be able to set up a parade...
But I can make an array of floats...
When a programmer is born, what are their first words?
"Hello world!"
How did the programmer celebrate his birthday?
var celebration = ["Hip", "Hip"];
why don't programmers like nature?
because it has too many bugs
A programmer goes shopping
A room mate asked his friend who is a programmer to go shopping.
"hey, can you buy a bottle of milk? Oh and if they have eggs, buy 12"
So the programmer went shopping.
When he got back, he bought 12 bottle of milk and his room mate asked
"why the heck did you bought 12 bottle of milk?!"
The programmer responded.
"they have eggs"
Programming takes time. Just remember...
Chrome wasn't built in a day
Why do programmers struggle with girls?
They tend to objectify them.
*I'll see myself out*
Progress is amazing. "w**... Only" is in the past
This new color safe bleach is fantastic.
Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween?
DEC 25 == OCT 31
99 programming bugs in the code
.
99 programming bugs.
Take one down, patch it all up.
111 programming bugs in the code.
A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.
One full of water in case he gets thirsty and an empty one in case he doesn't.
Why did the programmer talk to his boss?
Because he wanted arrays
A programmer is heading to the store
A programmer is heading to the store and gets a text from his wife:
While you are out, buy some eggs
He never returned.
Why are all programmers drug addicts?
Cause they do a lot of codeine.
Why can't programmers maintain good relationships?
They have a lot of arguments.
Why is programming in Django hard?
You can only use two fingers on your left hand.
A programmer went to a store to pick up some groceries
As he was leaving the house his wife said: "While you are there, buy some milk". He never came back.
How does a programmer undress his girlfriend?
gf.getString();
A programmer and his colleagues attempt to enter a restaurant
Amidst their chatting, one of them approaches the receptionist:
"Table for 8, please"
"Are you sure, Mister?" she replied. "I can see there are actually 9 of you here"
"What? No, you're mistaken. We're 8 people, look"
He turns around, and begins doing a head count:
"0, 1, 2, 3..."
Why are programmers so immature?
They're still developing
A programmer tells his wife, I'm going to the store.
The wife says, While you're there, buy some milk.
He never came back.
Why do programmers love winter?
Because there are no bugs...
A programmer got stuck in the shower because...
The instructions on the shampoo bottle said-
"Lather, Rinse, Repeat."
I took a programming class. I should have gotten a B-
But the instructor gave me a C++
Programmers and mathematicians disagree on a lot of things
but at least we can all agree 0!=1
I took a programming class in high school
I got a C++
Why do programmers get confused between halloween and Christmas?
Because
OCT 31 = DEC 25
A programmer and his wife are reviewing their grocery list.
She says, We're out of bread. Please go the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six.
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?
He replies, They had eggs.
What does a programmer wear?
Whatever is in the dress code.
A programmer tries his hand at stand-up comedy: "Forward-slash forward-slash a man walks into a bar..."
A heckler yells at him: "Why do you keep doing that weird forward-slash thing?!"
He responds: "Don't you know? The best jokes are always in the comments."
As a programmer, I would make a UDP joke
But you might not get it.
What does a programmer say when he loses his glasses?
"Help! I can't C#"
A programmer
A programmer is going to the grocery store and his wife tells him, "Buy a gallon of milk, and if there are eggs, buy a dozen." So the programmer goes, buys everything, and drives back to his house. Upon arrival, his wife angrily asks him, "Why did you get 13 gallons of milk?" The programmer says, "There were eggs!"
Do you know why programers prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs.
What's the most progressive thing about Joe Biden?
His dementia
What do programmers want from their bosses?
Arrays
Only programmers will get this one:
Why did the functions stop calling each other?
Ans: Because they had too many arguments.
What do programmers do when they're hungry?
They grab a byte
I'm a programmer, wearing glasses
They are made to C#.
If you're a programmer, you would know:
// the real joke is always in the comments
(Programmer) What did 0 say to 1?
You're a bit too much.
Why do most programmers use dark mode?
Because the light attracts too many bugs
A programmer dies and meets St Peter outside the pearly gates.
[cr
How programmers and cats are alike?
They both can sit in the same position for long time and get excited when they find a bug
A programmer is asked by his wife to go to the store
"Go to the store to buy some eggs", she says, "If they have avocadoes get 6". The programmer returns with some eggs and 6 avocadoes because he's a programmer and not a badly written program.
A programmer walks into a bar,
A programmer walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says I'll have three beers please.
Of all the programming languages, HTML is the least trustworthy
It's full of `
Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!
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Dead Dad jokesThe impact of these prog jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.