Profusely Jokes
27 profusely jokes and hilarious profusely puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about profusely that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Profusely Short Jokes
Short profusely jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The profusely humour may include short excessively jokes also.
- Son: "Mom, Dad, I'm gay." Mom: *Stares at Dad*
Dad: *Clenches fist*
Mom: "Don't!"
Dad: *Sweats Profusely*
Mom: "..."
Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"
- You say a mesquito bit you and now you have the chills, a high fever and are sweating profusely? That's not funny. That's malarious!
- Son: "Mom, Dad, I'm gay." Mom: *Stares at Dad*
Dad: *Clenches fist*
Mom: "Don't!"
Dad: *Sweats Profusely*
Mom: "..."
Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD" - [Repost]A great dad joke that I had to share Son: Mom, Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: (Clenches fists)
Mom: Don't.....
Dad: (Sweats profusely)
Mom:.........
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Dad: Hi gay! I'm Dad! - A client just thanked me profusely for curing his erectile dysfunction. -shrugs- It wasn't hard.
- During conversation, a guy mispronounces a physicist's name. Upon realizing this, he apologizes profusely. The physicist says, "It's Feynman."
- I was on a jungle expedition in bangladesh with some colleauges of mine, when we all came across a tiger... It was really messy, so out of courtesy we tried wiping it off while profusely apologising.
- Walking your dog A Korean man walks up to his friends house and sees that his dog is barking profusely and says,
"Do you want me to wok your dog for you?" - A dyslexic man walks in to a bar. Embarrassed, he apologized profusely and handed it back to her.
- "God....You are NOT the father" *God cripwalks all over the stage as a bewildered Mary cries profusely*
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Profusely One Liners
Which profusely one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with profusely? I can suggest the ones about frantically and wildly.
- Curiosity killed the cat. NASA apologized profusely.
- I think my fat girlfriend is hot. She's been sweating profusely.
- What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely? Half a cat
Great Profusely Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about profusely you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean repeatedly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make profusely pranks.
Son: "Mom, Dad, I'm gay."
Mom: *Stares at Dad*
Dad: *Clenches fist*
Mom: "Don't!"
Dad: *Sweats Profusely*
Mom: "..."
Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"
Son: "No dad, I'm serious!"
Dad: "You're serious? I thought you were Gay!"
Son : Mom, Dad... I'm gay.
Dad : *Raising his right hand*
Mom : No , don't you dare!
Dad : *Sweating profusely*
Mom : Don't do it!
Dad : *waves at son* Hi gay , Im Dad.
Son : No Dad, I'm serious!
Dad : You're serious? I thought you were gay!
Son : I'm not serious!
Dad and Mom : Good.
One day, a taxi cab passenger touched...
a new cab driver on his shoulder to ask him something. The driver squealed EEEEEEEEEE! , lost control of car, and screeched to a stop after mounting the sidewalk. The passenger apologised profusely & said: "I had no idea you would be startled by me tapping your shoulder!"
Driver replied: Im sorry it's not your fault; I used to be f**... driver for 25 years.
A woman playing golf hits a nearby man...
She rushes over to the man who is on the ground, rolling around screaming in pain with his hands between his legs.
She profusely apologizes and offers to relieve his pain since she is a doctor and reluctantly he agrees. She gently moves his hands to his sides and unzips his pants and puts her hands inside. She massages him tenderly for a few minutes and asks: "How does it feel?"
He replies: "It feels great but I still think my thumb is broken".
Son:"Mom,Dad, I am gay"
Mom: Stares at Dad
Dad: Clenches fist
Mom: "Don't!"
Dad: Sweats Profusely
Mom: "..."
Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD
Son: "No dad, I'm serious!"
Dad: "You're serious? I thought you were Gay
Albert Einstein was running 20 minutes late as a guest speaker at a science conference.
He finally arrived apologizing profusely.
Einstein: "I am so terribly sorry you all had to wait. Anyway, here's my presentation."
Host: "It's about time."
Einstein: "And space!"
The Grass Eaters.
A wealthy man was driving home when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He stopped, asked them why.
They told him they were hungry, and he insisted that they get in the car with him; he will take them somewhere to eat.
They got in the car, thanking him profusely.
He replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is almost a foot tall."
A parrot accidentally swallowed a viagara tablet and went berserk
He started h**... everything he could lay his wings on .
The owner called the vet who said that the overheating could damage his brain so asked him to put the parrot in a freezer.
The owner somehow caught the parrot and forced into the freezer and forced it shut.
After 10 mins, he slowly opened only to find the parrot sweating profusely.
The owner asked 'why are you sweating?'.
The parrot said ' Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?'
A man walks into a police station
with his head profusely bleeding.
Officer: What Happened
Man: My Wife hit me in the head
Officer: Why..??
Man: Her parents came over unexpectedly, so she asked me to go and get them something.
Officer: And..??
Man: I got them a taxi
George Bush was receiving his daily report from his Defense Secretary.
During the report, the secretary said; And yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. George suddenly went pale, put his head in his hands and began to sweat profusely.
His staff was astounded. They had never seen the president react like this to such a small loss. Then, after he had recovered slightly, the president brought his head up and quietly asked the aide next to him, "Just how many in a brazilian?"
Someone invites their friend over to their house for the first time and shows them around.
Admiring an ornate jar with a lid, the friend picks it up and asks about its importance.
"Oh, those are my father's ashes." comes the reply which startles them, causing the jar to slip between their fingers and shatter on the floor in a cloud of grey dust.
"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY!" profuses the panicked friend, but they're reassured- "Relax! My dad can put his smokes out in a mug until he buys another one."
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely, saying…..
"I must have taken Leif off my census."
One day in a busy restaurant, a man began to choke on something he had eaten.
Without hesitation, another man jumped up, ran over, pulled the choking man's pants down, and started eating his a**.... The choking man was so shocked and disgusted that he started to gag, miraculously expelling the blockage. His life saved, he thanked the other man profusely and asked how he had known that his unexpected actions would be effective.
The other man replied, "I thought everyone knew the hind lick maneuver..."
A father and son walk into a gas station...
After grabbing a few snacks they walk up to the register to pay for everything.
The cashier says "sorry sir, but you have to swipe your card again."
Son: "dad, don't."
Father: *sweats profusely*
Cashier: "sir?"
Father: "but I'm not wearing a cardigan!"
A horse walks into a bar
And the bartender asked "why the long face?"
The horse said, well, it has been a really bad day. Around 10 years ago, I married a pony, the absolute love of my life. She just passed away at the hospital from t**... cancer. I'm on my way back home and I just came in for a few drinks to ease the pain.
The bartender felt horrible about the s**... joke he said earlier and apologized profusely.
The horse just shook his head and said don't worry about it. In all honesty, we should have caught the cancer much earlier. She was always a little horse.
My mother gave me a pendant for my birthday
It was a special gift with a picture of my late grandmother inside.
I thanked her profusely, but I had to ask, this is such a unique gift. What made you decide on this specific piece of jewelry?
She responded well, your grandmother has always been a strong, in-da-pendant type of woman
