Profitable Jokes
27 profitable jokes and hilarious profitable puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about profitable that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Profitable Short Jokes
Short profitable jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The profitable humour may include short valuable jokes also.
- The pros and cons of being overly literal PROS:
People who profit as a result of their occupation.
CONS:
People found guilty of a criminal offense. - Indian restaurants make most of their money off of the bread.. They're naan-profit organizations.
- So my oilfield is haunted, turned out quite profitable... Now I can sell Super-Natural Gas!
- Since chipotle charges like a $1.30 for guacamole... I wonder if In their bussiness meetings, if they refer to their guac profits as
Avacadough - Petty Cash I place $20 in a box.
So do you.
Now the box contains $40, and we both know it.
I sell the box to you for $30.
And we both walk away with a $10 profit. - Do you guys wanna donate to my charity? It's a non profit organization called "Caw Caw Caw Caw"
It's four good caws - For-profit healthcare is a great system that benefits patients and ensures higher quality care. lul
- Did you hear about the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground? It was a knot-for-profit.
- My uncle is such a great businessman that he made $6 million in profits this year He works in a non-profit organization
- How does a boat captain determine his profit? By using aquadratic equation.
(Via my coworker)
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Profitable One Liners
Which profitable one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with profitable? I can suggest the ones about productive and enjoyable.
- Ideas that aren't profitable Don't make any cents
- What do you call a charity that gives bread to the poor? A naan-profit!
- Growing herbs can be very profitable After all, thyme is money
- I own a very profitable bakery I guess you could say, i'm rolling in the dough
- How do you milk a sheep and make a profit? Remove the audio jack
- Which race is the most profitable to run? A 401K
- Step 2. Profit Step 1. Time machine
- I work at a non-profit... ...but that's not what my boss actually wants.
- Talk is cheap. But AM radio still can't turn a profit.
- What do capitalists worship? profits
- When Apple created the $700 wheels... Did they expect profits to start rolling in?
- Investing in balloons just isn't as profitable as it used to be. I blame inflation.
- Moseses parents didn't start off rich but they made a handsome profit
- Why do Muslims invest in the stock market? For the profit.
- Step 1) Get a job selling punctuation marks. Step 2) ??????
Step 3) Profit.
Fun-Filled Profitable Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about profitable you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean helpful jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make profitable pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are.
The first says, "My son is so successful, he's VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car. "
The second says, " That's nothing, my son is CEO of his company and just gave his best friend a house."
The third says, "Well, my son owns 3 highly profitable companies and just gave his best friend a jet."
They look expectantly at the last guy who says, "My son is a gay e**... who gets showered with love and admiration. He just got a car, a house, and a jet from three of his clients."
Eat the watermelons
A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.
The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation.
So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE! "
He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.
The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO! "
Young Chuck
One fine old day, Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'
Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'
Chuck said, 'Sure I can, watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with the dead donkey?'
Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00.'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'
Chuck now works on Wall Street.
A Politician wanted to build a bridge
A Politician wanted to build a bridge.
So, he calls 3 engineeering firms. One is Chinese, other is American and the last one is Brazillian.
The politician calls the heads of all the 3 firms to his office.
He asks the Chinese head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"
He says, "3 Million Dollar. 1 Million for the workers, 1 Million for materials, 1 million for the profit."
The Politician asks the American head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"
He says, "6 Million Dollars. 2 Million for the workers, 2 Million for materials, 2 million for the profit."
Finally, the Politician asks the Brazillian head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"
He replies, "9 Million Dollars."
Suprised, the Politician asks him, "Why? Why so much?"
To which he replies, "3 Million for me, 3 Million for you, and 3 Million for the Chinese guy to build the bridge."
I inherited some land recently and managed to buy 100 donkeys for £100...
...I planned on selling them one by one for a profit, but overnight some sick guy broke into my farm and cut all the donkeys tails off! Now I'm left with 100 donkeys with no tails, so I'm going to have to wholesale them!
(ask me why I have to wholesale them...)
Well I can't retail them can I?!
I bumped into an old school friend the other day.
He seemed to be doing very well for himself, fancy clothes, new car. You could tell he was now very successful and wealthy.
I asked him how he had been doing and he said great, I've got loads of money, fancy cars and a big house.
I asked him how he came to be so rich and he replied I've been using animal carcasses and boiling them down to a concentrate and selling that for a profit. I've made a killing on the stocks market.
The Queen created a beautiful design that I decided to put on a shirt
One day, the Queen of The United Kingdoms designed a beautiful new crest for the royal family and seeing it, I saw an opportunity for profit and began selling t-shirts with the design printed on them thinking that the royal family wouldn't mind.
After several very angry calls from the royal family's lawyers, I found out that I had to pay Her Royalty her royalties for Her Royal Tee's^TM
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The blinds store
So there's this store down the street called "Bailey's Blinds", and I can't help but wonder that it must be a front for some sort of i**... activity. Money laundering, perhaps? Or maybe it's an incognito hub for illicit products of some nature. I mean, how can a business possibly function for over 15 years while consistently profitable, by selling nothing but blinds? ...It's a shady business if you ask me.
