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Profitability Jokes

110 profitability jokes and hilarious profitability puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about profitability that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Profitability Short Jokes

Short profitability jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The profitability humour may include short jokes also.

  1. So many Christians run non-profit organizations. On the other hand, atheists... ...only run non-prophet organizations.
  2. The pros and cons of being overly literal PROS:
    People who profit as a result of their occupation.
    CONS:
    People found guilty of a criminal offense.
  3. Indian restaurants make most of their money off of the bread.. They're naan-profit organizations.
  4. So my oilfield is haunted, turned out quite profitable... Now I can sell Super-Natural Gas!
  5. I hear most Muslims are capitalists... They're always going on and on about some Great Profit.
  6. Did you know that Indian Restaurants make most of their money on their flatbread? They're naan-profit organizations.
  7. A man was arrested for killing gang members, then cutting off their feet and taking them When apprehended, the man said he had heard it was profitable to sell Crip toes.
  8. An Englishman starts his own business in Afganistan He is making land mines that look like prayer mats! He is doing quite well! Profits are going through the roof!
  9. Since chipotle charges like a $1.30 for guacamole... I wonder if In their bussiness meetings, if they refer to their guac profits as
    Avacadough
  10. Petty Cash I place $20 in a box.
    So do you.
    Now the box contains $40, and we both know it.
    I sell the box to you for $30.
    And we both walk away with a $10 profit.

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Profitability One Liners

Which profitability one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with profitability? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism? No more jokes about the profit.
  2. What happens when you cross Islam with Capitalism? No more jokes about the profit.
  3. If you make money selling Indian bread... You run a Naan Profit Organization.
  4. What type of writing is the most profitable? A ransom note.
  5. Ideas that aren't profitable Don't make any cents
  6. What do you call a charity that gives bread to the poor? A naan-profit!
  7. Growing herbs can be very profitable After all, thyme is money
  8. I own a very profitable bakery I guess you could say, i'm rolling in the dough
  9. How do you milk a sheep and make a profit? Remove the audio jack
  10. Which race is the most profitable to run? A 401K
  11. Step 2. Profit Step 1. Time machine
  12. I work at a non-profit... ...but that's not what my boss actually wants.
  13. Why should you back an Indian charity? Because they are all naan profit.
  14. Why do fishmongers keep all the profit for themselves? Because they sel fish
  15. Talk is cheap. But AM radio still can't turn a profit.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about profitability can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of profitability puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Profitability Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about profitability you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make profitability prank.

Why did the Pakistani cross the road? Because the American government was subsidizing the construction of mango harvesting and preservation infrastructure in the region on the other side, allowing farmers with the necessary means to develop strong ties to American markets and earn significant profits.

Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales?
Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.

Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible?
A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.

What do you call a Muslim who's a smart investor?

Profit Muhammad

"How do fast food restaurants make so much money?"

"They flip burgers for profit!"
Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!

I inherited some land recently and managed to buy 100 donkeys for £100...

...I planned on selling them one by one for a profit, but overnight some sick guy broke into my farm and cut all the donkeys tails off! Now I'm left with 100 donkeys with no tails, so I'm going to have to wholesale them!
(ask me why I have to wholesale them...)
Well I can't retail them can I?!

The blinds store

So there's this store down the street called "Bailey's Blinds", and I can't help but wonder that it must be a front for some sort of i**... activity. Money laundering, perhaps? Or maybe it's an incognito hub for illicit products of some nature. I mean, how can a business possibly function for over 15 years while consistently profitable, by selling nothing but blinds? ...It's a shady business if you ask me.

Eat the watermelons

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.
The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation.
So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE! "
He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.
The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO! "

In an attempt to raise profits

... I've heard that Malaysian Air is considering offering 1/2 way tickets.

Oscar Pistorius' new book deal

I thought I'd share a joke I just heard from a topic on a call-in radio show.
Radio DJ: "Should Oscar Pistorius profit from a book deal about the night he shot his girlfriend?"
Caller: "No he should not. I think you'll find that legally he doesn't have a leg to stand on."

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

My Balloons

I'm a newly graduated entrepreneur breaking into the party paraphernalia game. I bought a ton of balloons a year ago for 99 cents each. In order to make a profit, how much should I adjust my prices for inflation?

Why was Muhammad a successful merchant?

Because he was god's profit.

So the business man turned into a priest...

He talks alot about his new profit!

Why are fisherman so successful in business?

Because they use "net" profits

Bird Seeds

1. Go to the pet store
2. Buy Bird seeds
3. Ask the cashier how long it will take for the birds to grow
4. ???
5. Profit

A Politician wanted to build a bridge

A Politician wanted to build a bridge.
So, he calls 3 engineeering firms. One is Chinese, other is American and the last one is Brazillian.
The politician calls the heads of all the 3 firms to his office.
He asks the Chinese head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"
He says, "3 Million Dollar. 1 Million for the workers, 1 Million for materials, 1 million for the profit."
The Politician asks the American head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"
He says, "6 Million Dollars. 2 Million for the workers, 2 Million for materials, 2 million for the profit."
Finally, the Politician asks the Brazillian head, "How much do you take to build the bridge?"
He replies, "9 Million Dollars."
Suprised, the Politician asks him, "Why? Why so much?"
To which he replies, "3 Million for me, 3 Million for you, and 3 Million for the Chinese guy to build the bridge."

Young Chuck

One fine old day, Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'
Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'
Chuck said, 'Sure I can, watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with the dead donkey?'
Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00.'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'
Chuck now works on Wall Street.

Why do Muslims invest in the stock market?

For the profit.

Where does the Federal Reserve hide all of its dirty profits?

In debasement.

Step 1) Get a job selling punctuation marks.

Step 2) ??????
Step 3) Profit.

Apple more profitable than Samsung still in 2015

Guess you could say they definitely out cell the competition.

I run a non-profit business. Not by choice.

"Is it proper for one man to profit from the mistakes of another?"

A man asked his minister.
"Definitely not," was the clergyman's answer.
"Are you certain?"
"Absolutely!"
"In that case," said the guy, "would you mind returning the $50 I gave you after my wedding last year?"

Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime.

Give a man a monthly subscription of fish delivery right to his home, profit.

Give a man a fish

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day
Teach him to fish and you have lost a profitable business idea

What is the profit margin of an abortion clinic?

Just a small arm and leg over the competition

How does a boat captain determine his profit?

By using aquadratic equation.
(Via my coworker)

Someone has been spraying graffiti of what appears to be corporate ledgers all around my neighborhood.

And the words of the profits are written on the subway walls, and tenement halls.

A Crayola truck just got robbed for profit

We're currently searching for the purple traders

What will be the most profitable career in 2017?

Mexican ladder salesman.

Can I write the money I spent at the Indian bakery off my taxes?

They are a naan profit organization ...

Whats the difference between a hippie and a mutual fund.

Eventually a mutual fund matures and gains profit

What's the filthiest type of money?

g**... profit

What do capitalists worship?

profits

Joel Osteen may not be the best preacher...

but he is certainly not a false profit

My friend owns a store and he hadn't made any profit, even during the back to school season.

Me- You should consider moving your store.
Friend- I cant!
Me- Why?
Friend- Coz its stationery.

Profit & Loss Statement

Wife asks:
"Why is it that in all marriages the bride sits on the left side and the groom sits on the right?"
Husband's reply:
"Have you ever seen a Profit & Loss Statement? It follows the same logic. All income is posted on the Right and expenses are on the Left!"...

I've owned a tree store for years and we just started making a profit.

Wasn't until we branched out, that we started seeing the green.

EA to donate 50% of profits from future titles to starving children around the world.

After they make them purchase the postage, packing materials, fuel for the planes, silverware, plates, drinking cups, seasonings, construct hand out facilities, eating establishments, refuse disposal, environmental studies on said refuse disposal, labor costs and finally any and all expenses from Frank Gaybeau's c**... induced, hotel filled, 5 figure by the hour e**... stuffed full on satanic o**... fest.

Intel's CPUs aren't overpriced...

If you subtract the amount you'll save on heating this winter, you're profiting!

Not all Americans understand g**... profit

But their politicians have a good grasp on net profit.

Investing in balloons just isn't as profitable as it used to be.

I blame inflation.

Why did the proctologist did not like a fixed term deposit

Because they said they would pay the profit per annum.

3 men walk into a bar. The first one gets n**... and sells his clothes. The second one punches himself with a chair and sues the barman. The third one challenges a service dog to a dance-off for a reward. Who made the biggest profit that night?

Their drug dealer

If you're broke you can just go eat a lot in london. You will profit as you gain pounds.

Only works if American.

For-profit healthcare is a great system that benefits patients and ensures higher quality care.

lul

I used to own a company that built airplanes, but it went bankrupt before I ever turned a profit.

It just didn't take off.

Robert Mueller goes before Congress..

Rhetorically, he asks who would be so low that they would sell our country and values for personal profit?
All of the republicans stand to volunteer.

Step One: Bop-it

Step Two: Twist It
Step Three: Profit

Old lady decides to be a p**... to complement her income

Arriving home, she counts the profit with her husband:
- Its U$100,50.
- Honey, who gave you 50 cents?
- What do you mean "who gave me 50 cents"?! Everyone!

What do you call a rich Muslim Man?

The Profit Muhummad.

Moseses parents didn't start off rich

but they made a handsome profit

Just started a business selling birds. The profits are brilliant.

So far I have sold some homing pigeons 25 times this week already.

When Apple created the $700 wheels...

Did they expect profits to start rolling in?

I bumped into an old school friend the other day.

He seemed to be doing very well for himself, fancy clothes, new car. You could tell he was now very successful and wealthy.
I asked him how he had been doing and he said great, I've got loads of money, fancy cars and a big house.
I asked him how he came to be so rich and he replied I've been using animal carcasses and boiling them down to a concentrate and selling that for a profit. I've made a killing on the stocks market.

Which part of the bee is most profitable?

Bee's knees

My uncle is such a great businessman that he made $6 million in profits this year

He works in a non-profit organization

A Scientist, Inventor, and Engineer

A Scientist, Inventor, and Engineer are tasked with solving a major world problem. The Scientist does the research and makes a discovery that the Inventor then uses to invent the thing that will solve the problem. The engineer refines the invention until it is ready for operation. Their solution is a huge success and very profitable. Who makes all the money?
The businessman.

My friend told me he got hit hard, lost 40% of his net profit in the market in the last year.

I said "so? I lost 85% of my net worth in the market in 1 day"
He said "what? Was it in a mutual fund?!"
I was like "no....my iPhone was stolen at the grocery store"

Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are.

The first says, "My son is so successful, he's VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car. "
The second says, " That's nothing, my son is CEO of his company and just gave his best friend a house."
The third says, "Well, my son owns 3 highly profitable companies and just gave his best friend a jet."
They look expectantly at the last guy who says, "My son is a gay e**... who gets showered with love and admiration. He just got a car, a house, and a jet from three of his clients."

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these profitability jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.