The Best 52 Profile Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Profile jokes. There are some profile ancestry jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these profile personality puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Profile Jokes and Puns
Attractive. Brainy. Romantic. Faithful. Makes good food. Gives great head.
-- Online dating profile of a male praying mantis.
The best part about being ugly?
You don't have to change your profile picture for Halloween.
Where could you look up Joan of Arc's profile?
On Tinder.
"Batman, we need your help in Paris immediately."
"Worry not, Commissioner, I've already changed my Facebook profile picture."
What did the pedophile write on his Tinder profile?
Netflix and Chilldren
My PC doesn't have fans..
It's low profile.
What do you call a girl whose profile pictures are only facial close ups?
Fat.
How is a tinder profile like an NBA scouting report?
The most important thing is height.
So Gary Johnson got a tinder profile...
He's a great third party man-to-date.
After being on tinder for a year I finally got swiped right~!
But I swiped left because the profile said, "Must love dogs" and I was actually looking for a woman.
An old fire mage asks his granddaughter to help him set up a "Face Book".
After she helps him sign up, add some friends, and pick a profile picture, he decides to write a short profile description as well.
"What would you like it to say?" says the granddaughter.
"Well, first, I am a fire mage, and I... love lemon meringue."
The granddaughter nods "mm-hmm" and begins typing:
"Pie-romancer."
You can explore profile qualifications reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean profile detectives dad jokes. There are also profile puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why can't Mario get a tinder date?
His profile picture was him killing a turtle.
Summer weather is like a terrible dating profile...
"24 but feels like 36."
A detective has finally solved a high profile dog murder.
He successfully followed a lead.
I've been told to take 'hung like a horse' off my tinder profile
Apparently My Little Pony doesn't count
I just got offered a new position at work that I need to consider.
I got called into my boss's office for standing around too much at work. He said "please take a seat."
I told him I'll have to think about it. While it gives me a lower profile in the company, I'll have a greater comfort level in what I'm doing.
Date: You don't look anything like your profile picture
Incredible Hulk: THE BUS WAS LATE
A poor farmer came to the Parliament house
A poor farmer came to the Parliament house in New Delhi to meet with an officer. He kept his bicycle near the high walls of the building and proceeded to the entrance.
The security guard came running towards him and hurriedly asked him to remove the bicycle.
This is a very prestigious place. High profile men, ministers and judges come here
The farmer innocently replied, I know that. I have locked my cycle, nobody can take it
Facebook is like jail
You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know
My uncle just updated his profile to "I love my girlfriend <3"
I knew he liked them young but that's just straight-up ridiculous
Did you see that Roy Moore had a high profile interview on Dateline NBC?
What was unfortunate for him is that it was with Chris Hansen, who started it by asking him to take a seat over there.
I went on a date with a girl I'd talked to briefly on Facebook.
After a while she said to me -
What's up? You seem disappointed.
Oh nothing, it's just you don't look anything like your profile picture
That's my 12 year old daughter
I've come to the realization
that my tinder profile is so bad that even bots won't swipe right.
An oregano farmer recently lost a high profile court case and was ordered to pay 20 million dollars. However the spices industry had been on a steady decline so he didn't have that kind of money on hand.
Needless to say his wages were garnished
Find out if Cambridge Analytica has access to your data...
But first, fill out this personality & psychological profile quiz to find out...
A blonde hooks up with a guy at a bar having met earlier on Tinder.
Straight away, she starts flirting with him, subtly at first, but it quickly escalates.
"I don't usually get much response to my profile, why'd you pick me?" asks the guy.
"Well, in all honesty, I mostly use Tinder for sex", claims the blonde, "You're cute and I like what you wrote in your profile about being a unique".
"Um... I'm a eunuch"
A beautiful prostitute attended a high profile function..
When it was time for introductions you could hear, I am Dr this and that, professor this or that, Barristers, engineers this and that.
When it was the turn of the prostitute, she calmly said she is a Civil Engineer.
Another curious engineer in the room got interested and asked her for area of specialization.
The lady calmly responded "I demolish erections"
I used to have this on my Tinder profile to introduce myself to guys...
Im like a microwave: easy to turn on, warm on the inside and if you put a baby inside me I'll kill it.
She claims to love to travel on her Tinder profile....
Starts screaming the second you shut the trunk lid.
Most high profile actors claimed it took anywhere from 5-30 minutes of strenuous but simple practice to be able to cry on cue
Squinting at the screen like that won't help
You find out your friend is a pedophile
Type \*-rep\* on their facebook profile
[First Date]
Me: Your profile says you're good at finishing sentences?
Her: Yeah, Totally!
Me: Same! I just finished a 20 year sentence for manslaughter
A biologist, a logician, and a philosopher are driving down the road in County Clare...
They see the profile of a brown cow grazing in an adjacent meadow. The biologist says, "Look, Ireland has brown cows!" The logician says, "No, sir, all we can say for certain is that Ireland has at least one brown cow." The philosopher retorts, "Alas, my fair companions, all we can know for certain is that Ireland has at least one half of one brown cow."
Why do you think my friend had a picture of Xxxtentacion as his Instagram profile picture?
He thought that DP meant dead person.
Yo momma so fat!
That when she uploaded her profile pic to facebook the servers crashed!
My Tinder Inbox got flooded with messages from pretty girls after I changed my Profile Pic
Who knew uploading Ted Bundy's Picture as a joke would attract so many girls!
I have a delivery van set as my profile picture on dating websites.
I just want the ladies to know what they're getting into.
Hey wanna see a joke
Look at my profile picture
Who was the first woman with a Tinder profile?
Joan of Arc.
I just love how...
You can put anything as a profile picture on Reddit and nobody will notice.
During this lockdown, please think of the confidence level and mental health of your companies IT person.
They have gone more then three months without being able to look you in the eye without smirking, while first turning your computer off and then on again, before accessing the admin profile to delete then add the wireless printer again so you can print your emails.
Went out with this girl I met on Ok Cupid, I think we clicked, but I never asked her out again. I know this makes me shallow, I just couldn't handle how many kids she had.
To be fair, it was my own fault, she clearly stated in her profile that she was a goat farmer...
What does Medusa have in her dating profile?
Beware: I'm drop dead gorgeous.
I made a dating profile on Farmers Only
Because when it comes to women, I know how to a-tractor.
My tinder profile says
that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel.
My dates are always seem disappointed when they find out I'm a bus driver.
In a Dating Site profile: "Looking for love and chemistry."
Doesn't quite have the same ring as: "Looking for hookers and drugs."
Thor gets a hit on his tinder profile...
After a night of wild, unrestrained god-level passion he notices his date looks a little knackered.
Sorry, but I'm Thor. He says
The girl looks up and says, You're Thor? I'm tho thor I can't thpeak
Almost immediately after making my first joke here, I got a brand new follower!
I was very excited, so I went to their profile. I think they're a new account, they only have one post, and when I clicked on the link in the post, it took me to a site that immediately asked if I was over 18
I guess my joke was a little immature, sure, but there's gotta be nicer ways of saying it
My date accused me of lying on my Tinder profile, but what I wrote was absolutely true.
I DO have the body of an Olympic athlete. It's buried in the backyard.
I don't understand why girls aren't interested in me.
My Tinder profile is unmatched.
I saw on this girl's dating profile that she's a "health and fitness junkie." So that's cool...
We've got one of those three things in common.
Was seeing a girl who had "I'm a dog person" on their dating profile.
I found it strange that she never introduced me to her dog though so I thought it might have died and never brought it up.
Around our 6 month anniversary she asked if we could spice things up. I said sure.
I was on the bed waiting and she came in on all fours wearing a wolf fursuit and a leash in her mouth.
I wonder what she is up to sometimes.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the profile suspect jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working profile facebook piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.