Profile Jokes
83 profile jokes and hilarious profile puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about profile that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you on the hunt for profile jokes that will make your friends and family laugh out loud? Look no further! This article is full of witty jokes about profile pictures, profile locks, Tinder and LinkedIn profiles, and much more. Get ready to punch up your online presence with some of the funniest profile jokes around.
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Funniest Profile Short Jokes
Short profile jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The profile humour may include short portrait jokes also.
- I just found my wife has a Tinder profile and I'm furious. She is absolutely not adventurous , and fun to be around !
- Facebook is like jail You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know
- As a guy who is 5'7 , I'm surprised guys my height think they're locked out of dating Most ladies' profiles say looking for long term, open to short
- "Batman, we need your help in Paris immediately." "Worry not, Commissioner, I've already changed my Facebook profile picture."
- Did you hear about the Cop who arrested an innocent Iceberg because he thought it looked like the one that sunk the Titanic? He was fired for Glacial Profiling.
- I just love how... You can put anything as a profile picture on Reddit and nobody will notice.
- My date accused me of lying on my Tinder profile, but what I wrote was absolutely true. I DO have the body of an Olympic athlete. It's buried in the backyard.
- [First Date] Me: Your profile says you're good at finishing sentences?
Her: Yeah, Totally!
Me: Same! I just finished a 20 year sentence for manslaughter - The best part about being ugly? You don't have to change your profile picture for Halloween.
- Hey, have you heard of the guy with a completely flat face? No?
I didn't think so, he likes to keep a low profile.
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Profile One Liners
Which profile one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with profile? I can suggest the ones about presentation and summary.
- What does Medusa have in her dating profile? Beware: I'm drop dead gorgeous.
- Why can't Mario get a tinder date? His profile picture was him killing a turtle.
- I don't understand why girls aren't interested in me. My Tinder profile is unmatched.
- Summer weather is like a terrible dating profile... "24 but feels like 36."
- Where could you look up Joan of Arc's profile? On Tinder.
- Date: You don't look anything like your profile picture Incredible Hulk: THE BUS WAS LATE
- Who was the first woman with a Tinder profile? Joan of Arc.
- Hey wanna see a joke Look at my profile picture
- Tinder profiles are like Bigmacs. You never get what you see in the photos.
- So Gary Johnson got a tinder profile... He's a great third party man-to-date.
- How is a tinder profile like an NBA scouting report? The most important thing is height.
- My PC doesn't have fans.. It's low profile.
- I cropped my kids out of my online dating profile photos. They can find their own dates.
- If someone cheats on you in real life then: write "-rep" on their Facebook profile.
- I put thin tires on my car... ...Because I like to keep a low profile.
Dating Profile Jokes
Here is a list of funny dating profile jokes and even better dating profile puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I made a dating profile on Farmers Only Because when it comes to women, I know how to a-tractor.
- I have a delivery van set as my profile picture on dating websites. I just want the ladies to know what they're getting into.
- I like to lie a lot on online dating profiles. But I have to tell you the hardest part about being six foot - five is finding someone who loves me for me.
- "Slim chance" and "fat chance" mean the same thing, but when I put "slim" on my dating profile, I get accused of catfishing.
- On my online dating profile it clearly says that I'm 6 foot - 4 inches So why when I turn up are woman always disappointed that I'm 5'8
- Happy 10th birthday to your dating profile pic.
Tinder Profile Jokes
Here is a list of funny tinder profile jokes and even better tinder profile puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- She claims to love to travel on her Tinder profile.... Starts screaming the second you shut the trunk lid.
- I've come to the realization that my tinder profile is so bad that even bots won't swipe right.
- My Tinder Inbox got flooded with messages from pretty girls after I changed my Profile Pic Who knew uploading Ted Bundy's Picture as a joke would attract so many girls!
- I've been told to take 'hung like a horse' off my tinder profile Apparently My Little Pony doesn't count
- After being on tinder for a year I finally got swiped right~! But I swiped left because the profile said, "Must love dogs" and I was actually looking for a woman.
- A tinder profile pic with your ex is like a roller coaster sign: "you must be this attractive to ride."
- How can you tell if a girls tinder profile is fake? They're attractive!
Facebook Profile Jokes
Here is a list of funny facebook profile jokes and even better facebook profile puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There is no way Facebook is losing the lawsuit Atleast not after knowing the behavioral profiles of the judicial panel
- Mark Zuckerberg posted a new status on his profile today. Mark Zuckerberg has marked himself safe during the 2018 Congressional Hearings on Facebook Data.
Laughable Profile Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about profile you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean headline jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make profile pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a girl whose profile pictures are only f**... close ups?
Fat.
An old fire mage asks his granddaughter to help him set up a "Face Book".
After she helps him sign up, add some friends, and pick a profile picture, he decides to write a short profile description as well.
"What would you like it to say?" says the granddaughter.
"Well, first, I am a fire mage, and I... love lemon meringue."
The granddaughter nods "mm-hmm" and begins typing:
"Pie-romancer."
Nocturnal birds don't want any attention
They like to keep an owl profile.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A detective has finally solved a high profile dog m**....
He successfully followed a lead.
I was hanging out with this girl, who I think liked me because she went through my phone when I went to the bathroom.
She was disappointed when she found my Grindr profile.
I just got offered a new position at work that I need to consider.
I got called into my boss's office for standing around too much at work. He said "please take a seat."
I told him I'll have to think about it. While it gives me a lower profile in the company, I'll have a greater comfort level in what I'm doing.
A poor farmer came to the Parliament house
A poor farmer came to the Parliament house in New Delhi to meet with an officer. He kept his bicycle near the high walls of the building and proceeded to the entrance.
The security guard came running towards him and hurriedly asked him to remove the bicycle.
This is a very prestigious place. High profile men, ministers and judges come here
The farmer innocently replied, I know that. I have locked my cycle, nobody can take it
My uncle just updated his profile to "I love my girlfriend <3"
I knew he liked them young but that's just straight-up ridiculous
Did you see that Roy Moore had a high profile interview on Dateline NBC?
What was unfortunate for him is that it was with Chris Hansen, who started it by asking him to take a seat over there.
I went on a date with a girl I'd talked to briefly on Facebook.
After a while she said to me -
What's up? You seem disappointed.
Oh nothing, it's just you don't look anything like your profile picture
That's my 12 year old daughter
An oregano farmer recently lost a high profile court case and was ordered to pay 20 million dollars. However the spices industry had been on a steady decline so he didn't have that kind of money on hand.
Needless to say his wages were garnished
Find out if Cambridge Analytica has access to your data...
But first, fill out this personality & psychological profile quiz to find out...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde hooks up with a guy at a bar having met earlier on Tinder.
Straight away, she starts flirting with him, subtly at first, but it quickly escalates.
"I don't usually get much response to my profile, why'd you pick me?" asks the guy.
"Well, in all honesty, I mostly use Tinder for s**...", claims the blonde, "You're cute and I like what you wrote in your profile about being a unique".
"Um... I'm a e**..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A beautiful p**... attended a high profile function..
When it was time for introductions you could hear, I am Dr this and that, professor this or that, Barristers, engineers this and that.
When it was the turn of the p**..., she calmly said she is a Civil Engineer.
Another curious engineer in the room got interested and asked her for area of specialization.
The lady calmly responded "I demolish erections"
Most high profile actors claimed it took anywhere from 5-30 minutes of strenuous but simple practice to be able to cry on cue
Squinting at the screen like that won't help
A biologist, a logician, and a philosopher are driving down the road in County Clare...
They see the profile of a brown cow grazing in an adjacent meadow. The biologist says, "Look, Ireland has brown cows!" The logician says, "No, sir, all we can say for certain is that Ireland has at least one brown cow." The philosopher retorts, "Alas, my fair companions, all we can know for certain is that Ireland has at least one half of one brown cow."
During this lockdown, please think of the confidence level and mental health of your companies IT person.
They have gone more then three months without being able to look you in the eye without smirking, while first turning your computer off and then on again, before accessing the admin profile to delete then add the wireless printer again so you can print your emails.
Went out with this girl I met on Ok Cupid, I think we clicked, but I never asked her out again. I know this makes me shallow, I just couldn't handle how many kids she had.
To be fair, it was my own fault, she clearly stated in her profile that she was a goat farmer...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In a Dating Site profile: "Looking for love and chemistry."
Doesn't quite have the same ring as: "Looking for h**... and drugs."
Thor gets a hit on his tinder profile...
After a night of wild, unrestrained god-level passion he notices his date looks a little knackered.
Sorry, but I'm Thor. He says
The girl looks up and says, You're Thor? I'm tho thor I can't thpeak
Almost immediately after making my first joke here, I got a brand new follower!
I was very excited, so I went to their profile. I think they're a new account, they only have one post, and when I clicked on the link in the post, it took me to a site that immediately asked if I was over 18
I guess my joke was a little immature, sure, but there's gotta be nicer ways of saying it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw on this girl's dating profile that she's a "health and fitness j**...." So that's cool...
We've got one of those three things in common.
Was seeing a girl who had "I'm a dog person" on their dating profile.
I found it strange that she never introduced me to her dog though so I thought it might have died and never brought it up.
Around our 6 month anniversary she asked if we could spice things up. I said sure.
I was on the bed waiting and she came in on all fours wearing a wolf fursuit and a leash in her mouth.
I wonder what she is up to sometimes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A single guy walks into a bar
A single guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've been trying that online dating thing. Almost every single girl has the same old line in their profile," he tells the bartender. "Oh yeah, what line is that?" the bartender asks. "They all say, 'If I was meant to be controlled I would have come with a remote,'" the guy says. "Well the joke's on them. I've been turning women off without a remote for years."
