Professional Football Jokes
7 professional football jokes and hilarious professional football puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about professional football that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comedy Professional Football Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What is a good professional football joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Why doesn't the NFL give Iowa a professional football team?
Because then Minnesota would want one.
R Kelly likes his girls like he likes his professional footballers
Young, fit, and not allowed to come out.
The Grecian Gods vs the Greeks
Zeus and his human friend Spiro were watching a game of football, the gods versus the humans. Spiro looked around the pitch at all the players and then saw an absolute unit of a player, a half horse, half human professional. Spiro asked Zeus, Hey, who's that player over there? Zeus responded, That's our teams centaur-forward .
Why doesn't Olympia, Washington have a professional football team?
...Because then Seattle would want one too! (Usually I do Ft. Worth/Dallas, but you get the idea)
During a fire, a women was stuck on the 4th floor with her baby.
Fire fighters instructed her to toss the child out the window, under which they had placed a net, but the mother refused. Things looked grim until a tall, well-built man burst through the crowd and shouted to the woman. He said that he was a professional football player and that he could catch the baby safely. After a few minutes more of reassurances by the man, the mother finally let the child drop. The football player made a breathtaking catch, and everybody cheered. At that moment the man suddenly raised the child high in the air, spiked it on the ground and screamed, "Touchdown!"
Why doesn't Iowa have a professional football team?
So that Minnesota does not get jealous.
Football and accountancy in one joke
A Sunday League football team is desperate for players. So desperate in fact that one Sunday they are forced to play a chicken. Rather surprisingly the chicken has a brilliant first half. One minute it's clearing off its own line, the next threading the perfect through ball, the next putting in a perfect cross.
At half time all its team-mates are very pleased and everyone runs back onto the pitch for the second half.
On the way the ref starts chatting with the chicken.
"Great first half mate, you must be really fit".
"Thanks", replied the chicken, "I try to keep myself fit but its difficult finding the time so I try to do an hour in the gym each morning before work".
"What do you do then?" asked the ref.
"I'm a chartered accountant" replies the chicken.
At this point the ref immediately brandishes the red card and sends the chicken off. The bemused team-mates gather round the ref and start complaining.
"Sorry lads", says the ref, "I had no choice - *Professional fowl*".
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