The Best 90 Products Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Products jokes. There are some products wares jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these products items puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Products Jokes and Puns
I find it wild that people would use cleaning products on their skeletons.
But to bleach their bone, I guess.
How can you tell if someone uses Apple products?
Just wait and they'll tell you.
Ebay products are like sex
You look at it online a lot but never see it in real life
Oral-B, Angel Soft, Saab
Busta Rhymes not only owns all these products, he uses them as sexual commands.
Why are Apple products popular with hipsters?
Steve Jobs went underground.
The blinds store
So there's this store down the street called "Bailey's Blinds", and I can't help but wonder that it must be a front for some sort of illegal activity. Money laundering, perhaps? Or maybe it's an incognito hub for illicit products of some nature. I mean, how can a business possibly function for over 15 years while consistently profitable, by selling nothing but blinds? ...It's a shady business if you ask me.
Not sure if this was already out there, but I just thought of it on my
Q: What dairy product makes the best kind of friend?
A: well, I hear cheese always has a 'grate' time
(I guarantee someone's thought of it before me)
And if that doesn't tickle your funny bone, try this one (fairly similar):
Q: how do you find the IQ level of dairy products?
A: a cheese grater
(Also probably not original)
Slogan idea for a Braille company
Loads of high quality Braille products,
many of which you've never seen before!
What does a lonely Sean Connery building IKEA products say?
I guess its jusht me, myshelf, and I tonight.
Perforated Paper Products Inc just went out of business.
They should have seen it coming. They had a tearable product.
Attention!! A dark joke ahead
A Chinese man married an African woman and had a child. Two months later the child passed away.
At the funeral house, the African woman kept sobbing and saying: "I KNEW IT !!! I KNEW IT !!!"
A family member pulled her aside and asked:
"What did you know?" She replied: "That, Chinese products don't last long!!
You can explore products providers reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean products investors dad jokes. There are also products puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Ikea failed miserably at processed meat products business
Someone ordered meatballs and Ikea sends them a cow with DIY instructions
I Swear, These Jell-o Products Just Keep Getting Worse...
It's almost like they're pudding in less effort.
I'll see myself out.
Wife's Campaign
My wife has wasted years campaigning for tampon companies to make sanitary products suitable for the 'larger' lady.
I'm trying to convince her that it's time to just throw in the towel.
Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?
That's as crazy as the discounts at Dave's Furniture Emporium…
I Went To The Patent Office.
I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.
I said, "A folding bottle."
She said, "Okay. What do you call it?"
"A Fottle."
"What else do you have?"
"A folding carton."
"What do you call it?"
"A Farton."
She sniggered and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude."
I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket.
Teacher And Student
Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.
$1,000 worth of products were stolen from a Games Workshop today
Police are looking for a book and three pots of paint.
Why is the government encouraging more American made vibrators?
They want to increase their gross domestic products.
Why do vegans hate themselves?
They are animal products.
wife's insisting to quit job
The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits.
She's got a point, I suppose...
I work in a hammer factory.
People tell me that you shouldn't buy bootleg products because the quality isn't very good...
I disagree. I recently purchased a copy of the black keys newest album from a guy on the street. The quality of their #1 hit "Pyrite on the Ceiling" was superb.
Apple fitness products don't work.
I tried the iHop and it only made me gain weight.
Really sucks for those addicted to Apple products...
...now there is no *escape*
My friend, Damian, is crazy for apple products
He's a macadamian nut.
Whata country..
You might remember comedian Yakov Smirnoff. When he first came to the United States from Russia he was not prepared for the incredible variety of instant products available in American grocery stores.
He says, "On my first shopping trip, I saw powdered milk -- you just add water, and you get milk. Then I saw powdered orange juice -- you just add water, and you get orange juice. And then I saw baby powder, and I thought to my self, "What a country!"
All feminine hygiene products now on sale for HALF PRICE
But hurry - it's just for the Christmas period.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
None. German light bulbs are quality products.
A group of IPhones walk into a bar
Bartender: Get out!
IPhones: Why?
Bartender: I know you don't have any money!
IPhones: How?
Bartender: Because all you Apple products lost your Jobs years ago!
When Microsoft and Apple ship faulty products
Microsoft: We will fix that faulty battery timer through a software update. *never fixes it though*
Apple: *quietly removes the battery timer*
I heard that if you buy certain apparel products, you're supporting the enslavement of children in Asia
And to think all these years I've been doing it the hard way!
My employer has recently started testing their products on animals.
I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't work for a hammer factory.
Testing products on animals
Guy: We need to stop testing our products on animals
Boss: Why? Shampoo companies do that all the time.
Guy: Ya. But we make hammers.
Two employees are having a conversation about quality control
Employee 1: We need to stop testing our products on animals.
Employee 2: Why? Other shampoo companies do it all the time.
Employee 1: Cool. But we make hammers.
Have you ever been to the Braille superstore?
They've got products you've never seen before.
A man told me his strength gains came from eating soy products.
After he said this I wasn't sure whether I thought more of him, or lecithin.
My Grandmother was excited to hear that some cookies at the bake sale were baked by genuine prostitutes
Grandma did always have a soft spot for ho-made products.
I drove four hours to attend a beauty pageant for meat products today.
Turns out it was a Miss Steak.
I don't know why there is a baby brand called Safety 1st..
I mean, if they used safety first they wouldn't have to buy their products in the first place
I want to create an app called ShamWow...
I want to create an app called ShamWow, it tells you if certain online products are a Sham or a Wow that's a deal.
What do you call someone who always talks about apple products?
An android user.
I've been stealing products from the hygiene store
I need to come clean
People buying Apple products are so dumb.
Sent from my iPhone.
Why do people think its a good idea to buy natural products?
After all, isn't the leading reason for deaths "natural causes"?
What do you call someone that doesn't eat animal products and loves to gamble?
A Las Vegan
What is Captain Kirk's favorite brand of paper products?
Scott
Guy: We need to stop testing our products on buildings.
Boss: Why, Elevator companies do it all the time?
Guy: Yeah but we make airplanes.
A lady just came up to me in the shopping centre and asked me to take apart in a survey....
Q1 - What grooming products do you use...... I don't think .. Facebook, Haribo and Puppies were the answers she was after..
What kind of factory can produce only adequate products?
a satisfactory
A place where they assemble okay products is called
...a Satis Factory.
What do you call a factory that produces OK products?
Satisfactory
Chinese people are the eco-friendliest people in the world
They only buy local products
Why do Microsoft products cost money?
You gotta pay the Bill
What do you call a factory which sells passable products?
A satisfactory.
Why didn't Adam buy Eve the new iPhone?
Because Apple products are really expensive.
My city is handing out free healthcare products to women,
Free tampons? No strings attached.
Apparently people are getting paid now to mention products in their social media posts
That's as crazy as the discounts at Dave's furniture Emporium.
I'm willing to invest all my money into podiums
They're really products I can stand behind.
I've heard all the environmental activists' arguments for banning plastic products...
and they're really just grasping at straws.
Why do Canadians prefer Apple and Logitech products?
Because they are so apple-lo-gitech
Asked to give a statement after a cigarette sparked a fire that burned down a sweatshop where their products were being made, Old Navy replied:
"It's a travesty. It's a truly, horrific travesty. Nobody should be allowed to sell cigarettes to children that age!"
A CEO and his board of directors gather for a meeting
CEO: We need to stop testing our products on animals.
BOD: Why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.
CEO: Yeah but we make hammers
We should stop...
Guy : We should testing our products on animal.
Boss : but why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Guy : but we manufacture washing machine.
At the company meeting, one of the managers came up with an idea.
- I think we should stop testing our products on animals, it's giving our brand a bad rep.
The CEO says:
- How come? The shampoo companies do it all the time!
- I understand, but, sir, we sell hammers.
Apple just announced a new line of hidden camera surveillance products, including a glass that sits on your bathroom sink.
They're calling it The iCup.
Despite the fact that whenever I eat any products with wheat in I get stomach cramps, I still regularly enjoy consuming it.
You could say that I'm a gluten for pun-ishment.
If I saw my son playing with a Barbie I'd slap it out of his hands.
Because they are manufactured in China and I can't support products that are offshoring labor to a country with numerous human rights violations. Not to mention, that's super gay.
You know why deaf people don't buy new products?
They've never heard of them
Seems like there are very few products made in America any more. I just bought a TV and it said,
Built in Antenna.
A little trip to Heaven
You know, I just came back from the dead. Well, they kicked me out, but that's a different story. The one thing I can tell you about heaven is that there are no windows in any of the houses.
Why, you ask?
Apparently, when Jobs died and went up there, he was put in charge of all advancements. So he replaced all windows with apple products. When asked why it was allowed, I was told that it's because the *i(s) are the windows to the souls*
Milk, cheese and yogurt may be different products
But their origins are udderly similar.
I'm boycotting apple products.
Because they're taking away work from all those doctors.
What do you call the misguided act of worshipping mediocre products at rock-bottom prices?
I-Dollar-Tree
People doubting longevity of Made in China products
Rest of the world: Chinese products don't last long and lack quality.
China invents COVID19 and now asking everyone, You still doubt my abilities, mofos .
Bakeries often ask me to pose for promotional photos with their products.
Apparently I'm an excellent roll model.
My grandmother was a founding pioneer for the Weathertech products.
She had clear vinyl on her furniture
India has decided to boycott Chinese products on all fronts to protest the latter's stand on disputed territories and their failure to inform India on the Coronavirus.
Meanwhile, Chinese textile mills are rolling out an all-new clothing line: "Boycott China" and are anticipating great demand from India.
The Apple Store in my city was looted and thieves took off with $100K worth of products.
Police make no arrests and say they were were able to recover both computers.
So a boss walks into his business meeting
He sits at the head of the table and says
We need to stop testing our products on animals
One of his employees exclaim Why?! Makeup brands do it all the time!
He turns to her and says Susan? We make hammers, what do you not understand!
What kind of cookie does a crazy professor who only uses apple products prefer?
Macademia Nut
What do you call a factory that sells passable products?
A satisfactory!
Why do Chinese people love IPhones and Apple products?
Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.
(inspired by u/lorenzomofo 's comment on a
r/nextfuckinglevel post)
What do you call a factory that makes good products?
A satisfactory.
Two guys are in a meeting at work
The first guy says "Hey I think we should stop testing our products on animals."
The second guy tells him "look, I know it sucks but animal testing is an unfortunate necessity in saving human lives - look at the pharmaceutical industry.
The first guy goes "yeah, but we make hammers."
What do you call a factory that makes great quality products?
A satisfactory
even though coffee is more acidic, all Starbucks coffee products have a pH of 14
Extremely basic
I met a sorceress in the desert once
She told me I could have all the churned dairy products and preserved fruit I could ever want, but first I had to marry her and sign a legally binding agreement that she would get it all back if we ever got divorced
Until that day I'd never believed the legends of the prenup butter and jelly sand witch
was at a restaurant the other day and overheard this conversation. Customer: "I don't eat honey, eggs, cheese, dairy or any meat products. What can I get?"
Waiter: "You can get the hell out of here"
Scottish lawmakers recently voted to make menstrual products free
It's about bloody time.
Yankee candle, known for its fragranced candle line of products has revealed it is making an odourless candle for the first time ever
It makes no scents
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the products merch jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working products soy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.