Production Jokes
127 production jokes and hilarious production puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about production that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article dives into the world of production, exploring the funniest jokes to lighten the mood in any studio or production line. Read on to learn about the best jokes from music, TV, film, stage, and food production-- plus some innovative and krafty ones to export to your friends!
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Funniest Production Short Jokes
Short production jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The production humour may include short producer jokes also.
- I just got a job in a factory making plastic dracula There are only two of us on the production line, so I have to make every second count
- Why do chinese people love IPhones and Apple products? Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.
(inspired by u/lorenzomofo 's comment on a
r/nextfuckinglevel post) - It's obvious bill gates didn't create COVID none of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently
- When I was young, I thought rich people owned Bose music systems and the rest of us had Sony products. Turns out those were just stereotypes.
- I was working in a factory making plastic Draculas for Halloween. There was only 2 of us on the production line so I had to make every second count
- Testing products on animals Guy: We need to stop testing our products on animals
Boss: Why? Shampoo companies do that all the time.
Guy: Ya. But we make hammer. - Personally, i think that Tide pods are even better than advertised. I mean, anything that can clean your clothes and the gene pool in the same product...
- When I was young, I thought rich people bought Bose products and the rest of us had to settle for Sony. Turns out — that was just a stereotype.
- My employer has recently started testing their products on animals. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't work for a hammer factory.
- A CEO and his board of directors gather for a meeting CEO: We need to stop testing our products on animals.
BOD: Why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.
CEO: Yeah but we make hammers
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Production One Liners
Which production one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with production? I can suggest the ones about creation and development.
- What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory!
- What do you call a factory that produces OK products? Satisfactory
- What is Pavlov's favorite hair product? Conditioner
- Apple fitness products don't work. I tried the iHop and it only made me gain weight.
- What did 2 say to 3 about 6? Oh don't mind him, he's just the product of our times!
- Lately I've found my job, building kitchen work surface, to be counter productive.
- Apple is releasing a new product called the iKnife. It's cutting edge technology.
- The Dyson Ball Vacuum… Is a horribly misleading name for this product.
- Apple just announced their next groundbreaking product The iShovel
- How do you stop an Internet troll? Seize their memes of production.
- When is a product with 70% less salt a bad thing? When you're buying salt.
- What is the best Apple product ? Apple juice
- My father sold podiums And he always stood behind his product
- Why didn't Adam buy Eve the new iPhone? Because Apple products are really expensive.
- How can you tell if someone uses Apple products? Just wait and they'll tell you.
Production Line Jokes
Here is a list of funny production line jokes and even better production line puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've got a job making plastic dracular figures but there's only two of us on the production line. I have to make every second count
- As companies continue to cut tie with Kanye West... Compass maker INMARK has also decided to drop West from their product line, leaving users lost and confused.
- I work in a toy factory where dracula dolls are produced... I only have one colleague at the production line so I have to make every second count.
- Yo mama so dumb, She got fired from the M&M's production line for throwing away the W's
- M&M don't hire blondes for their production line... ...because they throw out the Ws
- Apple just announced a new line of hidden camera surveillance products, including a glass that sits on your bathroom sink. They're calling it The iCup.
- I once went on a school trip to a coffee factory. We were having a guided tour around the production line but sadly one of my friends fell into the coffee grinder and died.
Luckily it was instant. - Yankee candle, known for its fragranced candle line of products has revealed it is making an odourless candle for the first time ever It makes no scents
- Not sure it's dad joke exclusive but have a fun game and could use your input. Pick a celebrity and a product line they would create.
Keanu Reeves has a new t-shirt line, it's called Keanu Sleaves - Bad news for people planning on boycotting tonight's NFL game. The Tiki Torch company is running an ad promoting their new product line.
Food Production Jokes
Here is a list of funny food production jokes and even better food production puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Food products made from real ingredients, unlike margarine, are whey butter.
- What do food companies and drug dealers have in common? They both taste their own products
- Bungie is now working on food products based on their own classic games Known as Halo tea bags.
- I fed my dog and it got sick. Turns out dog food isn't one of the purposes in "All Purpose" Product.
- I ONLY eat products and food from third world countries. Which is great as, for the past 3 years, I've been able to order local Swedish food without breaking my policy.
- A pakistani food company is launching a new product... Its called,
Allahu Snackbar
Broadway Production Jokes
Here is a list of funny broadway production jokes and even better broadway production puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Have you seen the new Broadway production about the dictionary? It's a great play on words.
- Did you hear? Broadway is making a theatrical production on puns! It's going to be a *huge* play on words!
- It's time to act now Let's stage a socialist takeover of Broadway and seize the means of productions!
- I recently saw a Broadway production about the origin of language It was just a play on words
- I have a Romanian friend who does tech for Broadway productions... I have a Czech one, too!
- Did you hear that they're making a Broadway production based off the dictionary? It's a play on words.
Production Planning Jokes
Here is a list of funny production planning jokes and even better production planning puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Apple scraps a new product... I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented IPod after realizing that "ITouch Kids" is not a good product name.
- With the likelihood of Roe v. Wade being overturned abortion provides should start diversifying. Product development idea: Planned Parenthood brand coat hangers
- Apple is planning to release a vaccum cleaner in a couple of years. It's rumored to be the only Apple product that won't s**....
Music Production Jokes
Here is a list of funny music production jokes and even better music production puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Which laptop brand is the best for music production? Asus
- What brand of computer is best for music production? A Dell.
- Eric Clapton Announced as new spokesperson Apple's music production suite Logic. That guy sure hates Windows.
Hilarious Production Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about production you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean supply jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make production pranks.
Twenty years from now, kids are gonna think "Baby it's cold outside" is really weird, and we're gonna have to explain that it has to be understood as a product of its time.
You see, it used to get cold outside
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a v**...."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get s**...."
<> Apple has decided to cancel the children's iPod.
Apparently iTouch kids isn't a good product name.
I was reading my emails...
The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said;
"Mr. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I'm afraid you're just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you will be OK."
And I thought to myself, doesn't OK look like a sideways person?
If Microsoft ever makes a product that doesn't s**......
...it'll be a vacuum!
So I just started my own indoor ship production company.
Production was great, until sales started going through the roof.
The Washington r**... are changing the team name because of all the negativity, shame, humiliation, dissent, polarity, adversity, defiance, animosity, contempt, discrimination, division, counter-productivity and hostility associated with their name.
....from now on they will be known simply as the r**....
With the situation in Ukraine...
Putin is giving a speech to his people
- My people, due Wests sanctions we'll need to tighten our belts and work harder!
Voice from the crowd:
- We will work two shifts!
- Thank you, you must be real patriot of our country! And we'll have to give up western goods and production!
- We will work three shifts!
- Such patriotism for country! By the way what's your occupation?
- I work at morgue...
What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios?
Toucan play at that game
What's a p**...'s favorite position?
w**...-izontal.
Zing! This has been a productive day at work.
Wife's Campaign
My wife has wasted years campaigning for t**... companies to make sanitary products suitable for the 'larger' lady.
I'm trying to convince her that it's time to just throw in the towel.
I Went To The Patent Office.
I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.
I said, "A folding bottle."
She said, "Okay. What do you call it?"
"A Fottle."
"What else do you have?"
"A folding carton."
"What do you call it?"
"A Farton."
She s**... and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude."
I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket.
$1,000 worth of products were stolen from a Games Workshop today
Police are looking for a book and three pots of paint.
wife's insisting to quit job
The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits.
She's got a point, I suppose...
I work in a hammer factory.
Whata country..
You might remember comedian Yakov Smirnoff. When he first came to the United States from Russia he was not prepared for the incredible variety of instant products available in American grocery stores.
He says, "On my first shopping trip, I saw powdered milk -- you just add water, and you get milk. Then I saw powdered orange juice -- you just add water, and you get orange juice. And then I saw baby powder, and I thought to my self, "What a country!"
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
None. German light bulbs are quality products.
When Microsoft and Apple ship faulty products
Microsoft: We will fix that faulty battery timer through a software update. *never fixes it though*
Apple: *quietly removes the battery timer*
Why aren't there any fat girls on the boxes of girl scout cookies?
Because good drug dealers don't use their own product.
Have you ever been to the Braille superstore?
They've got products you've never seen before.
Wonder Woman would have been a much better movie without all the product placement.
2 and a half hours of Amazon this and Amazon that... sheesh.
My Grandmother was excited to hear that some cookies at the bake sale were baked by genuine prostitutes
Grandma did always have a soft spot for h**...-made products.
I drove four hours to attend a beauty pageant for meat products today.
Turns out it was a Miss Steak.
Apple came up with a tablet computer with touch screen, geared toward children.
They cancelled the product when they realized nobody wants to buy something called iTouch Kids.
The Great Wall Of China Is Famous
Because it's the only Chinese product that lasted this long.
My Mom said this to me.
Me:*can't open bag of chips*I can't open it!Must be a production error.
Mom:*Opens it with ease*You're a production error..
It's a good thing they shut down production of House of Cards
It's be too unrealistic to have someone playing the US president who has been accused of s**... misconduct.
Guy: We need to stop testing our products on buildings.
Boss: Why, Elevator companies do it all the time?
Guy: Yeah but we make airplanes.
IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad dies at 91.
His f**... has been postponed until his family get the screw that wasn't included with his KÖFFIN product
Man: Hey sir! Could I interest you in a microscope?
Customer: No thanks, I'd have no use.
Man: Here is my business card in case you ever do!
Customer: I can't read this, it's too small!
Man: Boy have I got the product for you!
So I heard Jessica Jones is directed by only Females
Well thats one way of saving 20% on production costs
A salesman approaches you
Thanks, but I'm not interested in microscopes right now.
Salesman: That's okay, take my business card anyway.
This text is tiny, I can't read it.
Salesman: Boy, do I have the product for you
It's not surprising that the Japanese have adopted so much of American culture.
The first American product they tested blew everyone away.
Apparently people are getting paid now to mention products in their social media posts
That's as crazy as the discounts at Dave's furniture Emporium.
The government reveals their new logo today....
The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a c**....
I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a c**... allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of d**..., and gives you a sense of security while being s**....
The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't s**......
Is the day they make a vacuum cleaner.
80% of Swedish nationals report enjoying the lockdown despite having initially rejecting it. They say it makes them more productive.
Personally, I think it's just a case of Stuckhome syndrome.
India has decided to boycott Chinese products on all fronts to protest the latter's stand on disputed territories and their failure to inform India on the Coronavirus.
Meanwhile, Chinese textile mills are rolling out an all-new clothing line: "Boycott China" and are anticipating great demand from India.
What did 2 say to 3 when they saw 6 act like an idiot
Don't mind him. He's just a product of our times
what do you call a kid born from i**...
g**... domestic product
Me- Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?
Alexa- apple juice
I heard people are getting paid to mention companies and do product placement in their Reddit posts!
That's almost as crazy as the discounts at Jez's Furniture Emporium. Sale this weekend
What do you call the byproduct of i**...?
g**... Domestic product.
I met a sorceress in the desert once
She told me I could have all the churned dairy products and preserved fruit I could ever want, but first I had to marry her and sign a legally binding agreement that she would get it all back if we ever got divorced
Until that day I'd never believed the legends of the prenup butter and jelly sand witch
I'm like a cat when it comes to kids
I don't really enjoy the product
But I love playing with the box it came out of.
What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell the product, but they can't eat it
My friend regularly takes anti-diarrhea pills and claims it increases his work productivity, due to reduced trips to the restroom daily.
I think he's full of s**....
Did you know? In Marseille, they actually give you a certificate with every souvenir you buy, as a means of demonstrating that it's a genuine product of southern France.
It's proven Provence province provenance.
I learned the other day that a group of baboons is called a Congress
I found it extremely insulting to the hard work and productivity of baboons.
In solidarity with much of the world pulling Russian products off the shelves ...
In solidarity with much of the world pulling Russian products off the shelves and banning them from events, I will do my part and not play Russian Roulette for the foreseeable future.
Why are vampires very bad Product Managers?
Because they refuse to meet with stake holders
I don't wanna go into detail,
but the Dyson ball cleaner is a very misleading product name...
How many resumé writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one:
Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns, and zero safety incidents, increasing workplace safety and productivity.
My friend wouldn't stop ranting about his idea for a countertop factory...
Honestly, I thought it was all counter-productive.
What’s the difference between Barbie and Oppenheimer?
Barbie product first manufactured in Japan and released in America. Oppenheimer product first manufactured in America and release in Japan.
