Product Manager Jokes
10 product manager jokes and hilarious product manager puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about product manager that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Fun-Filled Product Manager Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What is a good product manager joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
How many resumé writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one:
Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns, and zero safety incidents, increasing workplace safety and productivity.
Why are vampires very bad Product Managers?
Because they refuse to meet with stake holders
Air force weatherman
So, my uncle Mark was a weatherman for the air force and one day during a briefing, the Colonel said, "I think we should all thank Mark here for the wonderful weather that we've been having for our b**... runs."
So my uncle says, "I'm in prediction, not production. I think we need to thank the chaplain."
The chaplain, without missing a beat, says, "I'm in sales, not in management."
What do you call a Subway manager who spends too much time helping make sandwiches up front and not enough time back in the office attending to business matters?
Counter productive.
At the company meeting, one of the managers came up with an idea.
- I think we should stop testing our products on animals, it's giving our brand a bad rep.
The CEO says:
- How come? The shampoo companies do it all the time!
- I understand, but, sir, we sell hammers.
A product manager was asked by his son about his work. The father says, "My job is all about the difference between theory and practice." The child didn't understand, so the father said, "Let me give you an example:"
"Go ask your sister if she'd sleep with the neighbor for £1M". Kid goes, returns & says "she's not too happy to but she will for times are tough."
Then the father said: "Now go ask your mom that question" so the child goes, returns and says: "Mom's is not too happy to sleep with the neighbor but she will for times are tough". So the father said:
"You see, my son, in theory we have $2M but in practice we only have two h**...."
(Happy Saturday afternoon everyone)
The CEO of a successful hummus production company talking to his financial advisor...
Our profitability is at an all-time high, we have over 2,500 employees and everyone seems happy. I feel like I've done all I can in the hummus business world and I want to branch out. This might sound strange, but I've always wanted to create and manage a g**..., f**...-type website. What are your thoughts on that?
The advisor, with a puzzled look on his face, pauses for a few seconds and responds: I think you need to be more versatile with your investments. You'd be taking on a huge risk considering the profitability of both companies would be 100% reliant on chickpea.
First Day On The Job
Steve just got a job at the beverage factory and is getting a tour from the manager on his first day. The manager spends this time explaining the different assembly lines.
"Over here," the manager says, "is the lemonade assembly line. we take the product, package it up and prepare it to ship. To the right we're canning juice concentrates. On this side we have the soda line, bottles and cans and such."
"Wow, you guys produce a lot of drinks," says Steve.
"You bet, name a drink and we probably have an assembly line for it."
"Do you have a punch line?"
"Nope."
A blonde gets a job painting lines on the highway...
A blonde gets a job painting lines on the highway. At the end of the first day, her supervisor is impressed. "Wow!" he says. "You did eight miles today! That's amazing!"
The second day, the blonde's production is down to four miles. "Still pretty darn good," the supervisor says.
On the third day, the blonde only does two miles. The supervisor calls her into the office. "What's going on?" he asks. "The first day you did great with eight miles, then yesterday you were down to four, and today you only managed two. What's the problem?"
The blonde rolls her eyes and says "Duh! The paint bucket keeps getting farther away!"
I work at a fan manufacturing factory.
The manager was blown away by my productivity.
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