Product Manager Jokes
10 product manager jokes and hilarious product manager puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about product manager that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Fun-Filled Product Manager Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What is a good product manager joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
How many resumé writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one:
Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns, and zero safety incidents, increasing workplace safety and productivity.
Why are vampires very bad Product Managers?
Because they refuse to meet with stake holders
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Air force weatherman
So, my uncle Mark was a weatherman for the air force and one day during a briefing, the Colonel said, "I think we should all thank Mark here for the wonderful weather that we've been having for our b**... runs."
So my uncle says, "I'm in prediction, not production. I think we need to thank the chaplain."
The chaplain, without missing a beat, says, "I'm in sales, not in management."
What do you call a Subway manager who spends too much time helping make sandwiches up front and not enough time back in the office attending to business matters?
Counter productive.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A product manager was asked by his son about his work. The father says, "My job is all about the difference between theory and practice." The child didn't understand, so the father said, "Let me give you an example:"
"Go ask your sister if she'd sleep with the neighbor for £1M". Kid goes, returns & says "she's not too happy to but she will for times are tough."
Then the father said: "Now go ask your mom that question" so the child goes, returns and says: "Mom's is not too happy to sleep with the neighbor but she will for times are tough". So the father said:
"You see, my son, in theory we have $2M but in practice we only have two h**...."
(Happy Saturday afternoon everyone)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The CEO of a successful hummus production company talking to his financial advisor...
Our profitability is at an all-time high, we have over 2,500 employees and everyone seems happy. I feel like I've done all I can in the hummus business world and I want to branch out. This might sound strange, but I've always wanted to create and manage a g**..., f**...-type website. What are your thoughts on that?
The advisor, with a puzzled look on his face, pauses for a few seconds and responds: I think you need to be more versatile with your investments. You'd be taking on a huge risk considering the profitability of both companies would be 100% reliant on chickpea.
First Day On The Job
Steve just got a job at the beverage factory and is getting a tour from the manager on his first day. The manager spends this time explaining the different assembly lines.
"Over here," the manager says, "is the lemonade assembly line. we take the product, package it up and prepare it to ship. To the right we're canning juice concentrates. On this side we have the soda line, bottles and cans and such."
"Wow, you guys produce a lot of drinks," says Steve.
"You bet, name a drink and we probably have an assembly line for it."
"Do you have a punch line?"
"Nope."
A blonde gets a job painting lines on the highway...
A blonde gets a job painting lines on the highway. At the end of the first day, her supervisor is impressed. "Wow!" he says. "You did eight miles today! That's amazing!"
The second day, the blonde's production is down to four miles. "Still pretty darn good," the supervisor says.
On the third day, the blonde only does two miles. The supervisor calls her into the office. "What's going on?" he asks. "The first day you did great with eight miles, then yesterday you were down to four, and today you only managed two. What's the problem?"
The blonde rolls her eyes and says "Duh! The paint bucket keeps getting farther away!"
I work at a fan manufacturing factory.
The manager was blown away by my productivity.
Tickle me Elmo
There is a factory in Northern Ireland which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.
The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning
to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.
She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the
little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.
"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you
yesterday..."
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.
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