The Best 45 Produces Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Produces jokes. There are some produces spunk jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these produces economically puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Produces Jokes and Puns

A cop knocks on a man's front door late one night

and he asks to see a picture of the man's wife. "Sure," he says, a bit puzzled. The man produces a picture from his wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer takes one look and takes a long, deep breath.
With difficulty, he looks the man in the eyes and says, "Sir, I'm sorry to tell you this, but your wife's been hit by a truck."
The man replies, "I know, but she's got a great personality and she can really cook."

Farming advice

A farmer notices that her neighbor produces a lot of big tomatoes every year, so she asks him what his secret was. He says that he walks naked every morning as the sun raises. The next harvest he checks up on his neighbor, and asked if she had good tomatoes this year. She says, I walked around the garden naked every morning as you said but not that many tomatoes, but the cucumbers surely got big this year.

Say what you will about Chris Brown

He produces hit after hit.

Produces joke, Say what you will about Chris Brown

what sex position produces the ugliest babies?

ask your mother

Which sex position produces the most ugly babies?

Ask yo momma. Sorry

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack", he says, "I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday".

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger. He says that his dad is Mick Jagger, and it's okay for him to take out all of the money because he is friends with the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says "Sure, have this", and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink, and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty tells him that she'll have to consult with the bank manager. She then disappears into the back office.

She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral". She holds up the tiny elephant pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone".

They say love produces the same effects as cocaine

And certainly whenever I make love it involves the death of an orphaned Columbian street child.

- Credit to Frankie Boyle

Produces joke, They say love produces the same effects as cocaine

Kermit Jagger walks into a bank

and walks up to the teller, Patricia Whack and asks for a loan. The teller asks for something as collateral. Kermit produces a tiny porcelain elephant. The teller doesn't understand so Kermit asks to see the manager. The manager comes out and looks at Kermit and the tiny porcelain elephant. Patricia asks the manager what to do with the elephant? Manager says "it's a knick-knack Paddy Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!"

What town in the continental United States produces the most alligator pears per year?

Avo, CA does.

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

Ask your mother.

I'm thinking of investing in a start-up company that produces religious icons.

I guess you could say that I'm engaging in idol speculation.

You can explore produces producer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean produces aromatic dad jokes. There are also produces puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My cow got Parkinson's

Now she only produces milkshakes.

A blonde is speeding down the highway...

When a female officer, another blonde, spots her and pulls her over. She asks the driver for her license...

Blonde driver says, "What's that?"

Blonde Officer : "Its a square with your face on it."

The blonde driver ruffles through her bag and after a few seconds produces a square make-up mirror and hands it to the blonde officer. The officer looks into the mirror and says to the driver, "Why didn't you tell me you were a cop? I woulda let you go!"

Which sex position produces the ugliest kids?

Ask your parents.

What kind of bee produces milk?


Whats that when you keep moving constantly produces something white ?

Its toothbrush dear dirty minded people..

Produces joke, Whats that when you keep moving constantly produces something white ?

Which country produces the most fedoras?


What are the differences and similarities of flint michigan and the walking dead universe?

They are both post apocalyptic but only one produces brand new cars.

What do you call a factory that produces quality goods?

A satisfactory

What type of cow produces both milk and potatos?

Your Mother.

What sex position produces the ugliest baby?

I don't know, ask your parents.

Researchers today said food cooked too long that turns to black produces high levels of acrylamide, a cancer risk.

And I just thought my wife was a bad cook.

Have y'all heard of the cow that produces milk that taste like that stuff of myths?

It's legen-dairy

What's the difference between Kathleen Wynne and a dumpster fire?

A dumpster fire produces affordable light and heat.

A small town has a factory which produces coffee scented skin creme.

The trucks which transport the cream are causing so much traffic in the small town that the mayor holds a town hall meeting to find a solution. The residents eventually vote to move the cream by train.

So there was a local motion for mocha lotion locamotion.

What bee produces milk?

A boo-bee

Did you hear about the new minting machine that produces coins only if you focus intently on it?

It makes cents if you think about it.

What is it called when a couple of experts start farming?

Pro deuce produces produce

What is the only type of bee that produces milk?

A boobee

TIL the Earth produces global electromagnetic resonance with the highest peak frequency of 33.8Hz, slightly lower than a C#1 note with a frequency of 34.65Hz.

I guess you can say the earth is flat.

What do you call a factory that produces OK products?


Which take away food produces the most energy?

Fission chips.

What do you call a Communist Country who mass produces napkins?

The Serviette Union

A struggling SoundCloud rapper decides to get a job as a farmer...

He now produces his own beets

Did you know there's software that produces lotion?

It's called appointment.

So when Spiderman produces a white sticky substance it's "cool"

Why is it whenever I produce a white sticky substance I'm considered a "massive pervert"?

My teacher told me a current carrying conductor produces a magmetic field. I disagreed.

Teacher said, "I am the teacher."

I said, "I don't give a flux."

What state produces the most mumble rappers?


What would Adobe call the office that produces marijuana blunts?


What type of Bee produces milk?

A Boo Bee

A man sits at a bar and produces a small piano along with a 12 inch pianist.

Barman asks how did he come to have such a small pianist in his care?

With an annoyed look the man says "I met a Genie who had a hearing problem".

What do you call a North Korean dictator who produces music on SoundCloud?

Kim Jong Tune

An English tourist in a Cairo marketplace was offered a large skull by a street trader

"This is the skull of Great Queen Cleopatra for only One hundred English pound." said the trader.

The tourist says, "No thank you, it's far too expensive."

Then the trader produces a small skull and says, "How about this one?"

The tourist asks, "Whose skull is that?"

The trader replies, "Tis the skull of Great Queen Cleopatra when she was a little girl!"

Which sexual position produces the ugliest babies?

Ask your mom

A panda walks into a bar...

A panda walks into a bar. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why? Why are you behaving in this strange, un-panda-like fashion?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda walks towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.

"Panda: Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the produces garnish jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working produces substance piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes