The Best 58 Proctologist Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Proctologist jokes. There are some proctologist dentist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these proctologist gyno puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Proctologist Jokes and Puns

What do you call a Rastafarian proctologist?


New Reality Show: America's Next Top Proctologist.

You only advance to the next round if you get two thumbs up.

at the proctologist

I was at the doctor, getting the digital rectal exam, and the doctor says: "At this point of the exam it is normal to get an erection". I said"I don't have an erection". The doctor says "No. But I do".

Proctologist joke, at the proctologist

Went to the proctologist ...

ended up with a ;


A guy goes in to his proctologist for a colonoscopy. The doctor has the camera up there, watching the video on the screen. The doctor says, "At this point in the process, it's normal to experience an erection."

The guys says, "But, doctor, I don't have an erection."

The doctor says, "I wasn't talking about *you*."

A man goes to his proctologist for an exam...

The doctor tells him to drop his drawers and let him know when he feels his thumb. After a few seconds, the doctor asks the man if he can feel it and the man replies no. A few seconds later, the doctor asks again. This time the man says yes he can feel the doctors thumb. At this point, the doctor leans over and waving both thumbs at the guys face says Surprise!

A man goes to the proctologist

The doctor gave him a thumbs up.

Proctologist joke, A man goes to the proctologist

Did you hear about that proctologist who became an English teacher?

Did you hear about the proctologist who became and English teacher? He specializes in teaching analogies.

Why do proctologists like Facebook?

It's another chance to look up old friends.

What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?


A long day at the hospital

After a long day working at the hospital 3 doctors are walking home:

- "After seeing so many patients, it's really nice to see normal, healthy people" says the first doctor, a GP
- "Not only that, they are actually alive" answers the coroner
- "Who cares about all that! Just look at all those faces! Lovely, lovely human faces!" shouts the proctologist

You can explore proctologist urologist reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean proctologist oncologist dad jokes. There are also proctologist puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion?

Two fingers.

Why did the pet proctologist fear his first feline procedure?

Because wether he succeeded or failed, he knew he'd end up with a cat-ass-trophy on his hands.

Where did the proctologist lose his passport?

In Djibouti.

I visited a proctologist the other day...

It was a real bummer.

I have the best proctologist.

He's able to massage my shoulders and check my prostate at the same time.

Proctologist joke, I have the best proctologist.

What do you get when a proctologist runs track?

Rectal pro laps

Did you hear about the resourceful proctologist?

He always used two fingers, in case his patients wanted a second opinion.

My Proctologist does horoscopes which, I guess,

makes him an Asstrologist.

What did the proctologist say to the pirate?

Show me your booty.

i was reading a story about a proctologist...

It hit pretty deep.

My wife told me "My gynecologist says I can't have sex for two weeks"

I said "And what did your proctologist say?"

People are always calling me a soft touch...

As their proctologist, I take this as a compliment.

At the Hotel Bar...

A man was sitting at a hotel bar, when a group of men sat down next to him and ordered a round of drinks.

"You guys with a convention?"

"Yes, we're with the Gynecology conference"

"Really? I was this close" he holds up his finger and thumb about an inch apart "to becoming a Gynecologist."

"So what did you end up doing?"

"I'm a proctologist."

[Politics] Why can't Ben Carson help fix America's problems?

He's a neurosurgeon, not a proctologist.

What do you call a semi-professional proctologist?

Someone doing a half-assed job.

I had my first prostate exam last week

It was the most uncomfortable thing that I've ever done in my life. It turned from bad to worse when I realized the doctor had both hands on my shoulders.

I guess I shouldn't have gone to a proctologist named Phil McCracken.

I went to a proctologist...

And he said to me: you need to stop masturbing.

I said: why?

And then he responds: So I can examine you.

I don't care what the proctologist says,

I'm beautiful on the inside as well.

Castro's proctologist had a nickname

They called him 'The In Fidel'.

Life is tiring being a child proctologist

You're always feeling a little behind

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

Wouldn't it be more fitting if it was asteroids, I mean think about it instead of being a proctologist you would be a astronaut.

So there were a group of guys drinking at a bar...

When another customer leaned over and asked what they were celebrating.

"My buddy here is going to be a Doctor!"

"Really? What specialty?"

"He's going to be a gynecologist!"

"Really? I was this close to being a gynecologist!" He said, holding his fingers about an inch apart.

"What did you end up doing?"

"I'm a proctologist."

What did the Jedi Knight say to the proctologist?

"These aren't the 'roids you're looking for."

Did you hear about the proctologist & psychiatrist who opened a practice together?

They called it "Odds & Ends"

After I had my colonoscopy, the proctologist asked if I had any questions.

Apparently "Do you do birthday parties?" was the wrong answer.

Why did the proctologist did not like a fixed term deposit

Because they said they would pay the profit per annum.

I've never felt more like a dummy ...

Than when I found out my proctologist is also a ventriloquist.

I asked my Proctologist where I need to put my pants....

"Over there by mine" is not the answer I was expecting......

What does the proctologist sing after performing a prostate exam?

Tainted glove.

A proctologist ate at a fine restaurant.

When the check came, he pulled out a rectal thermometer and, annoyed, said "Dammit, some dirty bum's got my pen!"

How do you know your proctologist is gay?

When you feel both of his hands on your shoulders during the exam.

Three men are talking about cars.

The first man says, I'm an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn.

The second man says, Well, I'm a pimp, so I drive a cheap Escort.

The third man says, I have the both of you beat. I'm a proctologist, so I drive a brown probe.

Proctologist walks into a bank

A proctologist walked into a bank. Preparing to sign a deposit slip, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great! Some asshole's got my pen!"

A proctologist pulls a thermometer out from his coat pocket...

Great, now some A**hole has my pen!

The Proctologist

So a man walks into his proctologists office because he felt that something was wrong.
The doctor walks in, explains the test, and gloves up. After a couple seconds of pressure, the man asks if there's anything wrong. The doctor replies,"Well, the good news is that it's only the head. The bad news is that I still have six inches of shaft left."

What do a dentist and a proctologist have in common?

They both tell you to open up and you go AHH.

Did you hear about the perfect couple?

He's a proctologist and she's a pain in the ass.

What does a proctologist and an astronomer have in common?

When they look at Uranus, it is always on it's side.

I had a great session with my proctologist this morning.

Two thumbs up.

Three guys are talking, the first guy says "I'm an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn."

And the second guy says, "Well, I am a pimp, so I drive a cheap Escort." And the third guy says, "I got you both beat. I'm a proctologist, so I drive a brown Probe."

Why did the proctologist Covid-denier take up ventriloquism?

He got tired of talking out of his own ass.

For All of my Fellow Bartenders...

What's the difference between a bartender and a proctologist ?

A proctologist only has to deal with one asshole at a time.

A proctologist is at the bank trying to sign a check, but his pen just won't work...

He looks down at the pen and realizes that it's not a pen, but rather a rectal thermometer.

He says, "Great! Now some asshole has my pen!"

Why does the proctologist keep buying new TV remotes?

Digging through the couch just feels like work.

My Brother was a Bad Ass Doctor

Which sounds so much better than Incompetent Proctologist.

A proctologist changed careers to become a mathematician...

Specializing in polypnomials.

Things you don't wanna hear from your Proctologist....

"Look Ma, No Hands"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the proctologist tweezers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working proctologist gynaecologist piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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