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Proctologist Jokes

86 proctologist jokes and hilarious proctologist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about proctologist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Proctologist Short Jokes

Short proctologist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The proctologist humour may include short optometrist jokes also.

  1. I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying "I am a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal." Suddenly, I realized how many proctologists there are on the roads.
  2. I saw a truck with a bumper sticker that said, I'm a vet so I drive like an animal… I then realized how many proctologists there are on the road.
  3. As I was driving home from work last night, I saw a bumper sticker that said "I am a veterinarian, so I can drive like an animal". Suddenly I realized how many proctologist are on the road.
  4. I went to a proctologist... And he said to me: you need to stop masturbing.
    I said: why?
    And then he responds: So I can examine you.
  5. I saw a bumper sticker saying I am a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
  6. I saw a bumper sticker that said "I'm a veterinarian, so I drive like an animal" Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road around these parts
  7. I asked my proctologist friend if he had any luck with the dating scene. He said he didn't have time because he had gotten behind at work.
  8. New Reality Show: America's Next Top Proctologist. You only advance to the next round if you get two thumbs up.
  9. I asked my proctologist:. What happened to all the patients who had their colonoscopys delayed due to covid..... He said, "oh we got caught up. Everyone got it in the end".
  10. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"? Wouldn't it be more fitting if it was asteroids, I mean think about it instead of being a proctologist you would be a astronaut.

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Proctologist One Liners

Which proctologist one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with proctologist? I can suggest the ones about physician and urologist.

  1. What do you call a jamaican proctologist? Pokemon!
  2. Castro's proctologist had a nickname They called him 'The In Fidel'.
  3. My proctologist is so high tech... He said my exam would be digital.
  4. I had a great session with my proctologist this morning. Two thumbs up.
  5. Went to the proctologist ... ended up with a ;
  6. Went to the proctologist today and he was impressed! He gave me the thumbs up
  7. What do you call a Rastafarian proctologist? Pokemon!
  8. What do you call a semi-professional proctologist? Someone doing a half-assed job.
  9. A man goes to the proctologist The doctor gave him a thumbs up.
  10. Why do proctologists like Facebook? It's another chance to look up old friends.
  11. What kind of Doctor has the worst credit score? Proctologists, they're always in Arrears.
  12. Things you don't wanna hear from your Proctologist.... "Look Ma, No Hands"
  13. A proctologist changed careers to become a mathematician... Specializing in polypnomials.
  14. Where did the proctologist lose his passport? In Djibouti.
  15. What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion? Two fingers.

Proctologist joke, What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about proctologist can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of proctologist puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Fun-Filled Proctologist Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about proctologist you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean dentist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make proctologist prank.

at the proctologist

I was at the doctor, getting the digital r**... exam, and the doctor says: "At this point of the exam it is normal to get an e**...". I said"I don't have an e**...". The doctor says "No. But I do".

Proctologist

A guy goes in to his proctologist for a colonoscopy. The doctor has the camera up there, watching the video on the screen. The doctor says, "At this point in the process, it's normal to experience an e**...."
The guys says, "But, doctor, I don't have an e**...."
The doctor says, "I wasn't talking about *you*."

A man goes to his proctologist for an exam...

The doctor tells him to drop his drawers and let him know when he feels his thumb. After a few seconds, the doctor asks the man if he can feel it and the man replies no. A few seconds later, the doctor asks again. This time the man says yes he can feel the doctors thumb. At this point, the doctor leans over and waving both thumbs at the guys face says Surprise!

Did you hear about that proctologist who became an English teacher?

Did you hear about the proctologist who became and English teacher? He specializes in teaching analogies.

A long day at the hospital

After a long day working at the hospital 3 doctors are walking home:
- "After seeing so many patients, it's really nice to see normal, healthy people" says the first doctor, a GP
- "Not only that, they are actually alive" answers the coroner
- "Who cares about all that! Just look at all those faces! Lovely, lovely human faces!" shouts the proctologist

I visited a proctologist the other day...

It was a real bummer.

I have the best proctologist.

He's able to massage my shoulders and check my prostate at the same time.

What do you get when a proctologist runs track?

r**... pro laps

Did you hear about the resourceful proctologist?

He always used two fingers, in case his patients wanted a second opinion.

My Proctologist does horoscopes which, I guess,

makes him an Asstrologist.

What did the proctologist say to the pirate?

Show me your b**....

i was reading a story about a proctologist...

It hit pretty deep.

A cardiologist died...

..and was given an elaborate f**.... A huge heart, covered in flowers, stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. The beautiful heart then closed, sealing the doctor inside, forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said: "I'm sorry. I was just thinking of my own f**.....I'm a gynecologist."
The proctologist fainted.

My wife told me "My gynecologist says I can't have s**... for two weeks"

I said "And what did your proctologist say?"

People are always calling me a soft touch...

As their proctologist, I take this as a compliment.

At the Hotel Bar...

A man was sitting at a hotel bar, when a group of men sat down next to him and ordered a round of drinks.
"You guys with a convention?"
"Yes, we're with the Gynecology conference"
"Really? I was this close" he holds up his finger and thumb about an inch apart "to becoming a Gynecologist."
"So what did you end up doing?"
"I'm a proctologist."

[Politics] Why can't Ben Carson help fix America's problems?

He's a neurosurgeon, not a proctologist.

I had my first prostate exam last week

It was the most uncomfortable thing that I've ever done in my life. It turned from bad to worse when I realized the doctor had both hands on my shoulders.
I guess I shouldn't have gone to a proctologist named Phil McCracken.

I saw a bumper sticker today that read

"My job is a Veterinarian, so I can drive like an animal!"
I suddenly realized how many how many Proctologists there are on the road!

Life is tiring being a child proctologist

You're always feeling a little behind

So there were a group of guys drinking at a bar...

When another customer leaned over and asked what they were celebrating.
"My buddy here is going to be a Doctor!"
"Really? What specialty?"
"He's going to be a gynecologist!"
"Really? I was this close to being a gynecologist!" He said, holding his fingers about an inch apart.
"What did you end up doing?"
"I'm a proctologist."

What did the Jedi Knight say to the proctologist?

"These aren't the 'roids you're looking for."

Did you hear about the proctologist & psychiatrist who opened a practice together?

They called it "Odds & Ends"

After I had my colonoscopy, the proctologist asked if I had any questions.

Apparently "Do you do birthday parties?" was the wrong answer.

Where did the phrase Give it to me straight, Doc originate from?

A proctologist's office

I've never felt more like a d**... ...

Than when I found out my proctologist is also a ventriloquist.

I asked my Proctologist where I need to put my pants....

"Over there by mine" is not the answer I was expecting......

What does the proctologist sing after performing a prostate exam?

t**... glove.

A proctologist ate at a fine restaurant.

When the check came, he pulled out a r**... thermometer and, annoyed, said "d**..., some dirty b**...'s got my pen!"

How do you know your proctologist is gay?

When you feel both of his hands on your shoulders during the exam.

Three men are talking about cars.

The first man says, I'm an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn.
The second man says, Well, I'm a p**..., so I drive a cheap e**....
The third man says, I have the both of you beat. I'm a proctologist, so I drive a brown probe.

Proctologist walks into a bank

A proctologist walked into a bank. Preparing to sign a deposit slip, he pulled a r**... thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great! Some a**...'s got my pen!"

A proctologist pulls a thermometer out from his coat pocket...

Great, now some A**hole has my pen!

The Proctologist

So a man walks into his proctologists office because he felt that something was wrong.
The doctor walks in, explains the test, and gloves up. After a couple seconds of pressure, the man asks if there's anything wrong. The doctor replies,"Well, the good news is that it's only the head. The bad news is that I still have six inches of shaft left."

What does a proctologist and an astronomer have in common?

When they look at Uranus, it is always on it's side.

Three guys are talking, the first guy says "I'm an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn."

And the second guy says, "Well, I am a p**..., so I drive a cheap e**...." And the third guy says, "I got you both beat. I'm a proctologist, so I drive a brown Probe."

Earlier today I saw a bumper sticker

It said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal!"
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road!

Why did the proctologist Covid-denier take up ventriloquism?

He got tired of talking out of his own a**....

For All of my Fellow Bartenders...

What's the difference between a bartender and a proctologist ?
A proctologist only has to deal with one a**... at a time.

A proctologist is at the bank trying to sign a check, but his pen just won't work...

He looks down at the pen and realizes that it's not a pen, but rather a r**... thermometer.
He says, "Great! Now some a**... has my pen!"

Why does the proctologist keep buying new TV remotes?

Digging through the couch just feels like work.

My Brother was a Bad a**... Doctor

Which sounds so much better than Incompetent Proctologist.

A proctologist loses his watch:

A proctologist loses his watch, but can't figure out which patient he lost it in. His head nurse tells him to call his recent patients in for a re-examination.
After the 4th patient shows up, the nurse turns to the doctor and says "it's him. He's got your watch."
The proctologist says "how can you tell?"
The nurse says "easy. It's the first time his a**... is early."

A proctologist is in the middle of an examination when he turns around and sees his assistant holding a bottle of beer.

He goes: No nurse, I said b**...-Light

I asked my proctologist if it's okay for me to use euphemisms...

He said analogies would be better.

I asked the proctologist where I should place my pants

He said just throw them over there by mine …

Proctologist joke, Went to the proctologist today and he was impressed!

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these proctologist jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.