Procrastination Jokes
98 procrastination jokes and hilarious procrastination puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about procrastination that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of funny procrastination jokes. From the classic "I'll start tomorrow" to the clever "I'm too busy to procrastinate," we've got all the procrastination humor you need to get through the day.
Funniest Procrastination Short Jokes
Short procrastination jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The procrastination humour may include short procrastinating jokes also.
- My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate." I told her, "Oh yea... Just you wait."
- My therapist just told me I might be a chronic procrastinator and that it will seriously affect my life. I'm not worried though I'll figure out what procrastination means later
- It's not fair that procrastination gets such a bad rap. It has literally kept me alive for years.
- What do you call a procrastinating comedian? Uhh I don't know, I'll come up with the punch line later
- What do we want? PROCRASTINATION!!
When do we want it??
I don't know, maybe later. If not then definitely tomorrow sometime. - Dad, what's the meaning of procrastination? I'll tell you tomorrow.
- My mom always said I'll never amount to anything because I procrastinate too much. Tomorrow I'll show her!
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My boyfriend is leaving me because I procrastinate too often. It's fine though,
I'll win him back eventually. - I have a problem with procrastination... ...but I'll tell you about it later
- Procrastinators are constantly mad at themselves about how they keep procrastinating and telling themselves that they'll "do better tomorrow" But that's a story for another day
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Procrastination One Liners
Which procrastination one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with procrastination? I can suggest the ones about laziness and time management.
- What do you call a procrastinating woodpecker? A wouldpecker
- Did you hear about the nun who procrastinated doing her laundry? She had a filthy habit
- Here's a pie chart on procrastination.
- "Let's procrastinate together," suggested my friend. I said, "Maybe some other time."
- When's the best time to procrastinate? Later.
- Did you hear about the procrastinating dictator? He was stalin.
- A procrastinator walks in to a bar I'll tell you the rest tomorrow
- My parents didn't raise a quitter! They raised a procrastinator.
- I'm addicted to procrastination But I can start anytime I want
- I've just joined a procrastinators support group. Ìt is called Wait Watchers.
- There are 2 reasons you shouldn't rely on procrastinators. 1). They never finish anything
- Wanna hear a joke about procrastination? Maybe later.
- What do you call it when a Russian dictator procrastinates? Stalin'
- The three rules about procrastination. 1.
2. - Procrastinating?! Don't even get me started!
Comical Procrastination Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about procrastination you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wasting time jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make procrastination pranks.
Did you hear about the atom that was caught stealing electrons?
He was arrested and charged.
...this is the stuff I come up with while procrastinating studying for finals.
What do you call a procrastinating humourist?
ill tell you later
Lazy vultures
Two lazy vultures had procrastinated on flying south for the winter until the first frost hit, then they got worried. "We better catch an airplane to Mexico, lets go to the airport!" So they take off down the road, and as luck would have it, they come across two dead road-killed opossums, that had started to get nice and smelly, just like vultures like them. "What luck, we better take these with us, I heard the airlines don't offer meals on the flight anymore." So they each grab a dead opossum, tuck it under their wing, and head on to the terminal. They walk up to the ticket counter and tell they lady "We'd like two tickets to Cancun, please."
"Very well," she says, "Will you be checking any bags?"
"No," say the vultures, holding up the dead opossum carcasses, "we only have carrion."
I'll prove I'm not a procrastinator...
The 10 Steps to Stopping Procrastination!
1. Always follow thro
What do you call a country that pushes everything off until the last minute?
A Procrasti-Nation
One day...
I'll look up what procrastination means.
70% of all university students identify themselves as procrastinators. ..
The other 30% haven't gotten round to it yet.
A guide to procrastination...
I'll tell you later...
Procrastination finally caught up to me and I faced the consequences
I'll tell you all about it later.
If i spent as much time working as i did procrastinating
TIL there is an island in the Bahamas called Pig Beach populated entirely by swimming pigs.
I'm not procrastinating...
....I have plenty of time left.
- courtesy of my 12 year old son.
My friend asked me what procrastination is...
I said I'll tell him later
The procrastinators of the world will unite...
eventually
Here's a way to stop being a procrastinator.
I'll tell you later.
I bought a book on procrastination.
Never got around to reading it.
I wish there was a medicine that could cure procrastination
Eh, who am I kidding, I'd probably put off taking it.
If procrastination were an olympic sport
I'd compete in it later.
What compound is found in a lazy person's brain?
Sodium Procrastinate
A friend told me about Procrastination Anonymous
I said I'll go later
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Russian that is procrastinating
You call him Stalin
"Hey Steve, how do I get rid of this error message on my computer? It's telling me to stop procrastinating."
"Easy. Just hit 'Remind Me Later'."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
after 9 months of procrastination, of psyching myself up and never following through, last night i finally went to the gym
to cancel that d**... membership.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
New study shows procrastination is as harmful to mental health as alcohol a**...
To combat this, I've decided to form Procrastinators anonymous, please consider joining it!
I've always wanted to become a procrastinator...
I just never got around to it :/
I spent 15 years suffering from chronic procrastination....
And I still can't decide if I prefer sativa or indica.
P.s I am getting really annoyed by that persistent promoted post!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a country full of lazy people?
A procrastination
My 2018 New Year's resolution is to procrastinate this year.
This is my most successful resolution so far.
My girlfriend said that I would never advance in my career because I procrastinate too much.
I said, Oh, yeah? Just you wait.
I just saw a book on Amazon called "Overcome Procrastination"
I've put it on my wish list.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... Doo is a procrastinator.
I've never heard him say, "s**... Dooby Done!"
Me: man I reckon i'm the greatest procrastinator in the world, no one's better at procrastination than me
Friend: oh really? how about we have a contest
Me: yeah sure just gimme 5 minutes
I was going to make a procrastination joke
But....
A Procrastinator Built A Time Machine
Well, not yet, but he's planning on getting started last week.
I Am A Professional Procrastinator. Ask Me Anything
I'll be back to answer your questions in a few minutes.
Procrastinators Unite!
Tomorrow
I want you to close your eyes for a moment and imagine a world without procrastination…
…actually, nevermind let's do that later
My friend told me that he was sent to a therapy group for procrastinators.
They haven't conducted the first session yet.
A company i thought of making
I thought of doing a company called Procrastination Incorporated, and every shop i make, ill just put coming soon on the entrance
I was going to say a joke about procrastination
But I decided to tell it tomorrow
I made a joke about procrastination.
There will also be a punchline.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a procrastinating Russian?
Stallin'
PROCRASTINATORS UNITE
... tommorow maybe?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I procrastinated as much as I m**...
I'd never come to anything
I really need to stop procrastinating.
Eh I'll Start tomorrow.
I don't know what "procrastinate" means.
I think I'll look it up later
What does procrastination mean?
I don't know, ask me later.
I made a joke about procrastination.
I guess I'll just post it later.
Why do Germans believe in procrastinating?
Because a stitch in time saves nein.
I walked up to the master of procrastination, and asked him to teach me his ways.
He looked at me, smiled and said "Later."
Where do procrastinators live?
In Neverland.
Teachers hate my daughter procrastinating.
I don't know why though. She has done nothing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a p**... and a Procrastinator have in common?
They both spend their day Running Behind.
I finally found the perfect way to fix procrastination
But I'll have to tell you later.
Two things that I don't like about myself are procrastination and the habit of forgetting things.
But the good thing is that I don't procrastinate.
I have a masters degree in Procrastination
I just haven't picked it up yet.
What's the slowest Nation
Procrastination
Did you RVSP your invite to the Procrastinators Club?
No rush; take your time.
