The Best 50 Procession Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Procession jokes. There are some procession celebration jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these procession putt puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Procession Jokes and Puns

Frank and Harry are at their golf club...

As Frank gets set to take his swing, a funeral procession goes by. He steps back, takes his hat off and holds it over his heart. Harry walks over, puts his hand on Frank's shoulder and says "That was a thoughtful thing to do". To which Frank replies "It was the least I could do, we were married for 30 years."

A Very Nice Golfer

There are two men playing golf, at the end of the range you can see a funeral procession going by. As the hearse drives by followed by a few cars one man kneels down, takes off his hat and puts it over his heart, and says a prayer.

The man next to him says, "Well that's the nicest thing I've ever seen a golfer do!" The man stands up says "Well it's the least I could do, I was married to her for 35 years..."

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course...

One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.

The man then replies: Yeah, well we were married 35 years.

Procession joke, A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course...

A man and his boss are playing golf...

one weekend when a funeral procession goes past. The man takes off his hat and stands silently with eyes downcast. He doesn't move until the procession is out of sight. The man's boss, an elderly gentleman, approves. "You don't often see respect like that much among you young folk these days" he says as they resume their game.
"Well, I thought it was only right." Replies the man. "After all, we'd been married for ten years."

Four guys where getting ready to tee off on the 18th hole when a funeral procession started coming down the road...

...one of the men took off his hat and bowed his head. Another said, "Marty, that is the nicest gesture I have ever seen out of you." Marty replies, "It's the least I could do, we where married for 28 years."


A man sees a funeral procession...

... with nearly one hundred men following a man and his dog behind the two hearse's. The man goes up to the lead man and asks what happened. He is answered, "My dog killed my wife and her mother." With a slight grin, the man covers his mouth and says, "You think you might be able to lend me that dog?" To which he is answered, "Get in line."

fishing by the river

A man and his friend were fishing by the river when a funeral procession approached. The man stood up, took off his hat, and waited for the procession to pass, and sat back down. His friend said,"That was very respectful of you, very nice." The man then replied,"Well we were married for 40 years."

Procession joke, fishing by the river

An Odd Funeral...

A guy is just coming out of the store when he sees an unusual funeral procession moving down the road. In front is a black hearse, which is followed at a respectable distance of about 30 feet by another, slow moving hearse. Behind the two walks a man with a dog. And some twenty feet behind him is a line of 100 more men, walking just as slowly.

His curiosity gets the better of him and he approaches the man with the dog as they pass, falling into step beside him.

"This may not be the best time..." he begins "but I've never seen a funeral like this, so I need to ask what's going on. Who's in the first hearse?"

"My wife" says the man with the dog, mournfully. "She yelled at me, so Rover attacked and killed her." As if it feels guilty, the dog lowers its head and tail at the mention of his name.

"Oh.. oh my. I'm so sorry for your loss." Says the second guy. He walks alongside in respectful silence for a while before, once more, curiosity gets the better of him. "So whose in the second hearse?"

"My mother-in-law." comes the reply. "She tried to help my wife, so Rover killed her too."

"Oh my god, that's awful!" says the other guy, and walks alongside in respectful silence for a moment more. Eventually, he looks up and says "I don't suppose I could borrow your dog, could I?"

"Get in line." answers the guy.

Two men playing golf (a favourite of mine)

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

One sunny Saturday morning...

Joe and his buddy Ryan decide to go golfing. Joe was setting up his tee when a funeral procession drove by on the nearby road. Joe immediately took off his hat, and stood perfectly still until the procession had passed. Ryan said "Joe, that's one of the most respectful things I've ever seen." Joe responds, "Well, we were married for 35 years after all."

Oldie but a Goodie

Two guys were out fishing on the lake when a hearse and funeral procession passed the boat on a nearby road. One of them stood up and held his fishing hat over his heart as the hearse passed. His buddy commented, "Gee, Harry, that was really nice and respectful!"

To which Harry replied, "Well, after all we were married 40 years."

You can explore procession solemnly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean procession tee dad jokes. There are also procession puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Four gents are on the golf course...

... on the second tee box. As gent number one steps up to the tee, a funeral procession drives by. Seeing the procession, he stops what he is doing, folds his hand, and bows his head out of respect. After the procession finishes, the other gents observe that, although it was a nice gesture, it was a little excessive to stop play like that. Gent number one replies "It was the least i could do ... I was married to her for 45 years!"

A guy goes golfing with a pal on Saturday morning.

When they're on the eighth hole, they see a funeral procession pass the golf course, at which point the guy stops, lowers his head for a few seconds, and then heads to the tee.

Whereupon his friend says, "That's so respectful. Here we are playing golf and you take a moment to pay your respects."

To which the guy responds, "Well, we had a great marriage."

Two men were playing golf..

when the man about to tee off noticed a funeral procession moving down the road next to the golf course. He stopped, put his club away, took off his hat and waited respectfully for them the pass. "My friend that was a very decent and respectful gesture" his friend commented. "The least I could do, I was married to her for eighteen years after all"

A man is golfing when a funeral precession drives across the bridge ahead...

The man proceeds to bow his head in respect. As the procession finally makes its way through, the mans friend says, "that's very admirable of you for taking a moment of respect". The man replies, "it's the least I could do, she's my wife."

Two men are playing golf near a country road...

When they see a funeral procession go by. One of them stops playing, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The other says "thats very decent of you, to stop playing and pay your respects." The first one responds "Well I'd think so; we were married for 52 years."

Procession joke, Two men are playing golf near a country road...

A joke about golfers.

Two men were playing golf one afternoon when just as they are about to play an important putt on the final hole for the match a large funeral procession passes by on the road at the side of the golf course. One of the men stops in mid putt, removes his cap, bows his head in prayer. The second man retorts "Woah man, that was really respectful". "Well, we had been married for over 25 years" said the other man.

Two men playing golf

Two men are playing golf and they notice a funeral procession driving by on the nearby road. One of the men takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. The other man says, "wow, you're a real gentleman." The man replies "well it's the least I can do we were married for 35 years."

The Funeral

A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.

A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman.

"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners. As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife.


A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery....

Several carloads of family members pulled followed in a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.

A passerby remarked, "That guy must have been an avid fisherman".

"Oh, he still is." replied a mourner. "He's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife."

2 guys are in ready to tee off on a par 5 and a funeral procession drives by.

One of the guys takes off his hat and holds it over his heart.

The other guy asks: Did you know that person?

Know her? I was married to her for 30 years.

He Takes His Golf Seriously.

An elderly golfer is about to putt when a funeral procession drives by.

He removes his hat, and waits for the cars to pass by.

His golfing buddy turns to him and says, "That was very thoughtful of you to do that."

He responds, "Well, it seemed appropriate. I was married to the woman for 55 years."

Two men are fishing from a bridge...

When one man notices a funeral procession. He quietly sets down his fishing rod, takes of his hat and bows his head. When the procession is out of sight he picks up his pole and continues fishing. The other man turns to him and says, "wow. I never knew you had a feely side in you" to which the first man replies, "it's the least I could've done, afterall, we have been married for forty years."

Bob and Jim are on the 18th hole...

And as Bob is about to pitch for the green they notice a funeral procession heading down the road adjacent to the course. Bob stops mid swing, drops his club, removes his hat, bows his head and stands for a moment of silence. "That's very respectful of you, Bob." says Jim. Bob puts his hat back on, picks up his club and says "Well, we were married for 35 years."

An old man is fishing in a lake next to a country road

Suddenly, he sees a funeral procession driving slowly down the road.

So he stands next to the road, puts his cigarette away, takes off his hat and waits flow the procession to pass.

2 hours later, the funeral director comes up to the man , this time by himself.

"That was very respectful, what you did. I want to thank you for your manners."

"Well," says the man, "it's the least I can do for my wife."

Two guys are playing golf...

Two elderly gentlemen come to a par 3 hole. One of them tees up, starts to swing, but notices a funeral procession passing by. He stops mid-swing, takes off his hat and bows to the procession. After it passes, he puts on his hat and resumes his swing. The other man says to him, "Wow, that was really gentlemanly of you, paying your respects like that!" As he swings, he replies, "Well, she was my wife for 25 years..."

I recently attended a funeral

And the procession was going up a steep hill on Main Street. Well all of a sudden the door of the hearst flew open and the coffin fell out. Since the road was so steep it flew back down Main street and into a pharmacy where it crashed into the counter. The lids popped open and the deceased says to the astonished pharmacist, "You got anything to stop this coffin?"

One Last Humiliation: The CIA Just Bungled An Attempt To Drop A Piano On Fidel Castro's Funeral Procession

Luckily, It only cost them a grand.

Two men are golfing at a local golf course

The first man is about to putt when he sees a long funeral procession right near the course. He stops mid-putt, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in prayer.

The second man is in awe. "Wow, that is the most touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years."

I saw the hearse in a funeral procession pulling a bass boat

I turned to my friend and said that man must have loved fishing! He said, "he does--that's where he's going right after his wife's funeral"

Abreva

The official sponsor of the Lombardi Trophy procession... and all other major sports trophies.

I recently got hit by a car in a funeral procession...

It still hearse!

Two men are playing golf. One of them is about to take a swing when a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. He stops mid-swing, takes off his cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in respect.

His golfing buddy says "That must be the most touching thing I've ever seen. You are a very compassionate and kind man."

The man, recovering himself, replies, "Yeah, well we were married 25 years."

Two men were playing golf when a funeral procession walked by.

One of the men took off his cap, bowed his head and closed his eyes in contemplation.

His opponent commented, "That is one of the most touching things I've seen. You are a very feeling man."

The man, recovering himself, replied, "Yeah, well, we were married for 20 years."

When I was kid, everytime we attend a wedding...

My grandparents always tease me that I will be next. They were not happy when I said the same thing when we saw a funeral procession.

IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad has died at 91. His funeral procession will be a winding path that takes about 2 hours with a pause in the middle for refreshments.

We also seem to have an extra casket handle and a handful of screws.

What do you call a funeral procession for a journalist?

A dead line.

Golf Joke

A man and his friend are playing golf one day at their local course. One of the men is about to tee off when he sees a funeral procession on the road next to the golf course. He pauses, removes his hat, and bows his head in prayer.

His friend says, Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen.

The man shrugs then replies, Yeah, well we *were* married for 35 years.

Funeral procession

Jim and Bob are playing golf when Jim notices the funeral procession go by on the highway. He kneels on one knee and takes off his golf cap as it goes by. After the procession is gone, Bob helps Jim up and pats him on the back, all while saying, That was so nice and thoughtful of you! Jim lines up his next shot and comments, I felt it was the right thing to do, after all we were married for 43 years.

A young guy gets paired with an elderly man for a round of golf.

The old man lines up to putt on the fourth green, when they notice a funeral procession passing by the course.

The old man backs away from the putt, removes his cap, bows his head for a quick prayer, crosses himself, and returns to the putt.

After the hole, the young guy says, I'm impressed with your show of respect for the deceased .

Old guy says, Well, we were married 42 years... least I could do.

Two guys out playing golf. One is about to take his shot when he sees a funeral procession go by.

He stops, takes his hat off and bows his head until the procession passes. He puts his hat back on and gets ready to take his shot when his partner stops him and says, "Hang on. I just gotta say I've never seen anyone do that on the links before, that was really touching."

1st guy replies, "Well, you know. We were married for 20 years."

John and his friend are playing golf when a funeral procession passes by on the road next to them. John kneels down and takes off his hat

Wow, John's friend says. That's very thoughtful of you.

Well, John responds, we *were* married for 35 years.

A man is out golfing with a few buddies...

From across the way, the group sees a funeral going on at the church. As the procession goes by, the man takes off his hat and pauses the play for a few moments to pay his respects.

Later in the day, one of his buddies mentions how nice and respectful the man was. The man responds,

"Well she was a good wife of 30 years."

Two men are playing golf.

One of them is about to take a swing when a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. He stops mid-swing, takes off his cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in contemplation. Β 

His opponent comments: "That must be the most touching thing I've ever seen. You are a very feeling man."

The man, recovering himself, replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the police on suspicion of terrorism..

The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.

"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"

"But why?" the guy protests.

"You have been caught in procession of weapons of math instruction!"

Two men are playing a round of golf.

The third tee is close to a road, and just as one of the players is about to tee off he sees a funeral cortège driving slowly by. He breaks his shot, lays down his club, takes off his cap and bows his head as the procession passes.

'Wow' says his friend, 'That was very respectful.'

'I suppose so' says the first man, 'Mind you, I was married to her for 40 years.'

Some old friends were gathered at a table outside the local pub

They were all drinking and laughing, but when a funeral procession came passing by, one of them got up on his feet and stood in solemn sentry until the procession had passed.

I never knew you had so much respect for the dead? one of his friends commented as he sat back down.

Usually I don't, but after all, we were married for 30 years.

Two guys are playing golf.

They're near a road.

One of the guys put a tee in the ground put his golfbal on it and takes his club.

He looks at his ball, begins to lift his club to make a swing when a funeral procession passes on the road.

The guy immediately stops what he's doing and takes a minute of silence untill the funeral procession has gone.

The other one is impressed and says to the guy:

"Damn that's some mark of respect you just showed there".

And the guy replies.

"That's normal. we were maried for 10 years after all."

Sorry for my english

Two friends were out golfing one morning.

One of them is just getting ready to tee off when he notices a funeral processing passing on the street adjacent to the golf course.
He stops mid swing, drops his club and takes off his hat, then begins to say a prayer. Once the procession passes, he puts his hat back on, picks up his club and is ready to continue.

That was the sweetest thing I've ever witnessed. It was incredibly touching on your part to take the time to say a prayer for the deceased. Says his friend.

Well, it's the least I can do. After all, we were married for 35 years.

A joke my dad told me today

Two old fishermen are fishing under a bridge. A funeral procession passes over the bridge. One of the old fishermen stands up, takes his hat off and bows his head.

The second old fisherman says Wow, that was really respectful of you to do.

The first old fisherman says Thanks, it's the least I could do. I was married to her for 40 years.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the procession ero jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working procession parade piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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