Process Jokes
129 process jokes and hilarious process puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about process that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article dives into the world of process jokes, exploring how they can be used as a tool for process improvement. Discover how process engineers, process servers, process mining, process management, process mapping, and process control can use humor to bring illumination to sometimes psychologically rigorous tasks.
Funniest Process Short Jokes
Short process jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The process humour may include short procedure jokes also.
- Hey girl, are you an obelisk? Because I'm trying to find out what an obelisk is through process of elimination.
- WARNING: There's an email going round... ...offering Processed Pork, Gelatin, and Salt in a Can.
If you get this email, DO NOT OPEN IT.
It's spam! - My wife asked me "Are you sometimes surprised at how little people change ?" I said, "The process is the same. They just have tiny clothes"
- I'm gradually figuring out what the best lighting options are for my house. It's a process of illumination.
- My identical twin brother and I were both arrested this weekend. But there was a mix-up during processing. Now we are finishing each other's sentences.
- Why were photographers so depressed before digital cameras were invented? They spent too long processing the negatives.
- I just got a how-to book for flipping on a lightswitch It's called *Process of Illumination*.
- How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database? Pop, Lock & Drop It
- My dad was trying to narrow down the best light to use for each room in our house. It was a process of illumination.
- My cat needed to take some antibiotics recently, so I wrapped it up in ham When it couldn't run away it made the whole process much easier.
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Process One Liners
Which process one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with process? I can suggest the ones about task and pipeline.
- What do you call the process of becoming an honorary Asian? Orientation.
- Why does fruit dislike being preserved? The process is jarring.
- Why did ChatGPT refuse to go on a date? Because it was already too busy processing data!
- What did bugs bunny save his word processing as? Whats up.doc
- I finally got my seat on United! The whole process was such a drag
- Why was the ChatGPT always so tired? Because it was constantly processing information.
- How does ChatGPT order food? It uses natural language processing to place its order.
- Some bozo tried to tell me processed meat was bad for me. I said, "Pfft, that's baloney."
- How do you pass a biology test on excretion? Process of elimination.
- What currency do processes use to bribe the processor? They use cache
- Divorce is a psychological process One is psycho, the other is logical
- My daughters pet lamb died today. The grieving process was delicious.
- What do you call the electronic process of making a sandwich? A sub routine.
- Why do the leaves turn red at the same time each year? Because the process is autumnated.
- My computer's RAM isn't that great... ...but it still has faster processing than the DMV.
Process Server Jokes
Here is a list of funny process server jokes and even better process server puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My TCP server is getting fat Too many processed syn-acks
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Process Jokes
What funny jokes about process you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean handle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make process pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guy walks into a f**... home
He tells the receptionist, my wife is dying, and i need to buy a gravesite.
Receptionist says, sure, no problem. Just fill out this paperwork and we'll get the process started.
Guy says, well you should know up front this might get complicated. See, my wife weighs 800 pounds.
Ah, the receptionist says. The plot thickens.
A young couple dies on their way to their wedding....
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in Heaven.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer.... for a couple of months.
While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all?
What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?'
Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled.
Yes,' he informed the couple, 'You can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple. 'But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.
'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!!!' St. Peter shouted. 'It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Vampire died and was in the process of being reincarnated...
They asked him, "What would you like to have in your next lifetime?"
"Drinking blood is good but I don't like hunting, ideally I'd like to have a easy supply of fresh blood."
"Alright."
"I also like turning into a bat and flying, so let me retain wings.", he said.
"Noted."
"One last thing, my dark complexion seems to scare people too much, can I turn into something white?"
"Sure thing."
**p**...**
He became a m**... pad.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
While we still don't know the motivations or the thought process behind the Boston Bombings
I think it's safe to say that the perpetrators are racists.
Why couldn't the computer process the hamburger?
It only had one byte.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman went on a business trip to Japan...
When he got there, he stayed in a nice hotel and decided to call a prostitution service. Not knowing a single word of Japanese, it was he struggled with the ordering process.
When the girl finally arrived, they stripped down and get down to business... They were having a blast and the girl kept screaming **"Machigatta ana, Machigatta ana..!!"** Deciding that it was a sign that the girl was pleasantly satisfied, he thought nothing of it and continued all night long.
The next morning, the Englishman went and have a round of golf with his Japanese business partner. His business partner swung first.... **BAM!** **Hole in one!**
"Nice shot my friend, machigatta ana..." said the Englishman
Looking puzzled, his business partner replied
"That shot was perfect... but what do you mean 'wrong hole'?"
So I'm in the process of house hunting...
The deer population has gone out of control in my living room
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Rorschach Test
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office for his first appointment. After the initial interview, the shrink decides to ease the man into the process with a simple inkblot test. After a few minutes, however, the shrink calls a halt.
"I think its fairly clear at this point that we're dealing with an Oedipus Complex." says the shrink.
"*I'VE* got an Oedipus Complex?!?" the man bursts out, "*You're* the one with all these pictures of my parents having s**...!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Typos change everything
Mollahs wanted to bring the scientific method to Iran, but then someone in the process mistyped "trial and error" into "rial and t**..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
According to the BBC website, 'cocaine users are getting younger'
I have always avoided i**... narcotics but, now that I've found out that they actually reverse the aging process, I'm going to give them a go.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This Trump impeachment thing is a lot like constipation.
It’s a long and painful process that will probably end with the p**... not leaving
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a parent f**k() 5 times, 31 children will be generated.
fork() is an operation whereby a process creates a copy of itself. It is usually a system call, implemented in the kernel.
I'm not sure if I have constipation or diarrhoea.
I'll find out by a process of elimination.
I'm in the process of building an Asian style frying pan
It's a wok in progress
She : I Love Kids
He : I Love The Process
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the process for a t**... kidnapping?
Well, first Demascus, then they Baghdad!
I told my dad that I don't like being a single child.
"I want a brother!" I said.
He said, "Having a child is a long process, your mother and I don't need that right now."
"Maybe you should consider adoption?" I asked.
He said, "No, we're not doing that again."
It's surprising how little people change
Actually the process isn't that different, other than the tiny clothes
How did the detective solve the case of the missing nun?
Through the process of cross-examination.
What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?
DLC.
Did you hear about the geometry teacher who tried to take a selfie?
It was a protracted process but eventually he found the right angle.
People who process expired passports are so lazy
they're always cutting corners.
(Joel Dommett)
How does Sherlock Holmes go to the bathroom? OC
By process of elimination.
My computer blew up in front of my face.
I still can't process why that happened.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hate the political process, not the politicians.
Nah, who the f*#k am I kidding? Hate those politicians!
What do you call the process of a robot clearing its artificial nose?
An olfactory reset.
Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog.
You understand it better, but it dies in the process.
See what I did there was use the frog as an analogy to show that exposing the inner workings of a joke would essentially deprive it of its life in that it's not funny anymore. I'm drawing a parallel (and so is E. B. White) to how you basically kill a frog when dissecting it to better understand the functioning of its inner body parts, since there is now little left in the joke to laugh at.
*
What do you call the process of removing communism from seawater?
Destalination.
Why is it a long and expensive process for fruit to get married
They just cantelope
I was in the process of making a cucumber salad for an important culinary exam.
I was in the proccess of making a cucumber salad for an important culinary exam. I went and grabbed the last cucumber from the refrigerator, but on my way back I tripped. The cucumber fell into some brine, and by the time I'd fished it out it was to late. Now I've got a real pickle in my hands.
'Educational' refers to the process, not the object.
Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger.
A man trying to emigrate to Scandinavia found the process too daunting to complete.
He was never Finnished.
What does one processor tell another?
Cache me outside how 'bout dat?
A new study concluded that blind people cannot eat oranges.
They can't process vitamin C.
I asked a red headed friend of mine what I could do to be just like him.
His response was "You have to go through the long and tough process of becoming a redhead." So, as of today, I have started the process of being trans-gingered.
Did you hear about the chef who never understood how animal-based oils help the cooking process? For him....
The Lard works in mysterious ways!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the process of applying for a job at h**...?
They just give you a bra and say "Here, fill this out."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do they call a movie producers process to determine whether they can s**... assault an actor or not?
Weinstein's theory of rapeativity
What do you call the process of switching genders?
Translating
Why doesn't anyone go into plushy manufacturing?
The process is so teddious.
What is Captain Kirk's favorite chemical process?
Vulcanization
What is the science or process of classifying living things?
Tax Bracketing.
What did the old processor say when it was thrown away?
"that megahertz"
I was going to make a joke about the render distance of the fog...
But you won't be able to process it due to the lack of GiggleBites.
What do call it when a girl is contemplating sleeping with Chad for a free meal.
Her thot process.
Kids are a great gift...
if only the unwrapping process didn't damage the box so much.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Although the cannibalism of the praying mantis may seem severe, it is thankfully brief. In other species, the female will slowly s**... the life out of her partner over a period of decades.
This process is commonly called marriage.
It's not that I'm illiterate
It's that I used to be hooked on phonics and recovery is a process.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
w**... legalization in Cambodia is a slow process
People still aren't ready to embrace any new m**... legislation, the last p**... pol killed millions.
How long does it take to brew traditional Chinese tea produced through a process including withering the plant under strong sun and oxidation before curling and twisting?
tOolong.
Thanks to the tireless work of an elder statesman, possibly one of the most dignified and smartest people in the process, we are starting to normalize relations with North Korea
Let's all give Dennis Rodman a big hand.
Scientists have developed a new, more efficient process for smelting aluminum.
They were thinking outside the bauxite.
Could someone explain the joke from "The Counterfeiters"
\-Why isn't God in Auschwitz? ..He didn't make it through the selection process.
There are three ways to respond to I'm pregnant.
You're kidding!
You're kidding.
You're kidding? (This is from a universe where the process of making a child, or kid, is called kidding).
United Airlines is so weird. It's the only airline that has the captain continuously yelling "brace for impact" during the boarding process.
How would Madame Foster begin the process of putting her Home for Imaginary Friends up for sale?
By contacting a Fake Estate Agent.
I Hate Trying to Figure Out Which Light Switch Goes to Which Room
It's a process of illumination.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm trying a different writing process in which I write out a bunch of ideas in small rough drafts, then I choose to work further on the one I think works best.
My parents are going to be impressed when they see how creative and error free my s**... letter is.
What was the name of the process that supporters of Johnny Appleseed went through to rename West Virginia after him?
The Appalachian Apple Nation Appellation.
Processor has had a bad day..
Processor: Hey man, I've really been having a bad day.
Graphics Card: Ya'know man, I can really put things into perspective for you.
Marriage is the process of ...
finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did men's synchronized swimming not make the Olympics?
Too many b**...-ups in the submissions process.
An English soldier is captured by the French and is sentenced to execution
Unfortunately for him, screaming mercy at the top of his lungs only hastened the process.
If someone could just reverse the process of making wine...
That would be grape.
"You can't teach clever!"
"Yes you can!
It is a three step process:
Find what is normal
Then do the opposite!"
Teacher : Explain the process of digestion
Student : It is a process that starts with the right hand and ends with the left hand
I decided to go vegan after visiting the meat production factory.
The livestock conditions were appalling.
The process involving production of Meatballs and Salami was bad.
But wait till you see the one of German sausage. It was the wurst.
Edit : Sweden has already decided to bring in regulations. I'd say they are ahead of the korv.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's h**...'s favorite mathematical process?
Process of elimination
How many Buddhist monks does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. But its a long process where the monk keeps telling the bulb that change must first come from within, until the bulb attains enlightenment.
A man's in-laws are causing him severe stress....
It's gotten so bad that he's decided to talk to his doctor about the physical pain he's experiencing. The doctor prescribes him some painkillers and sends him on his way.
A few days later, the man comes back complaining that the painkillers aren't working. The doctor ups his dose and sees him out. This process continues until a few weeks later. The man is visibly happier and healthier. The doctor asks him if the painkillers worked.
"Yep! They're finally dead."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A little girl asks her mom where babies come from.
The mom has been preparing for this so she explains the process using scientifically correct terms but in a way the young girl can understand. Afterwards she asks, "Do you have any questions?"
The little girl thinks for a few seconds and then says, "How does the daddy's s**... get into the mommy? Does she s**... it?"
"Sometimes," says the mom, "If she really wants some new jewelry."
Day 1: Staying home, avoiding social gatherings and eating food in my room
Day 50: Continuing with this process
Day 100: Still feeling okay
Day 2500: Now a global virus has arrived and others are doing what i do.
Snorlax needs to get on the Titanic because there's an all you can eat buffet on the ship. What process is needed?
Poke him on!
