problem Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious problem puns

Do all black people have a problem with slavery ?

Or just mine ?

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"Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?"

"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"

"Thanks dad !"

"No problem Alan"

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The problem with Trump jokes:

Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.

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Man says to his boss Can we talk? I have a problem.

Boss says Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!

Man says Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity.

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Man to therapist : "I just fucked my fourth cousin."

Therapist : "Is that a problem for you?"

Man : "The problem is that I'm counting."

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This is 911, what's your emergency? the operator asked.

I masturbate too much, the man replied.

Sir, that's not really a problem, the operator said.

The man shouted, Did you hear that, Mom? Now get off my case.

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The doctor gave me six months to live, so I shot him.

The judge gave me 50 years. Problem solved.

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The problem with Nearly-Headless Nick

is that he is a poorly-executed character

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The doctor gave me 4 months to live.

So I shot him. Judge gave me 20 years. Problem Solved.

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Gay parents are awesome!

* "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard"

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How about an Indian joke?

A nice Indian woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts "Is there a doctor here?"

A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: "I am. What is the problem?"

She replies: "Do you want to meet my daughter?"

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My wife came home yesterday...

and said, "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is."

I asked her what it was and she told me it had water in the carburettor. I though for a moment, then said, "You know I don't mean this badly, but you're not mechanically inclined. You don't know the carburettor from the radiator."

"No, there's definitely water in the carburettor," she insisted.

"Ok, honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?"

"In the lake."

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Don't drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell.

Priest - Don't drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell.
Alcoholic - Is it? What about the guy who sells the liquor?
Priest - He will also go to Hell.
Alcoholic - Ok, what about the guy who sells pork tacos in the food truck outside the Liquor Store?
Priest - He too will go to Hell.
Alcoholic - In that case, I have no problem going to Hell.

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How about an Indian joke?

A nice Indian woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts "Is there a doctor here?"


A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: "I am. What is the problem?"


She replies: "Do you want to meet my daughter?"

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A man went to visit his doctor because his arm is hurting.

"Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.

The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk.

"Hello, Doctor," says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!"

"Aha!'' says the doctor. ''I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"

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Doctor doctor, I think I have a problem with my testicles

Is one of them meant to be bigger than the others.

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First woman on the Moon:

"Houston, we have a problem."
What?
"Never mind"
What's the problem?
"Nothing"
Please tell us?
"You know what the problem is."

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Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?

Dad: She's named after something your mother loves, Easter! It's an anagram.

Son: Thanks dad.

Dad: No problem Alan.

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What are the two problems with the French flag?

The red bit and the blue bit.

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The problem with kissing a perfect 10

Is how cold the mirror feels on your lips.

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The problem with letting Jesus take the wheel...

Is that that motherfucker ain't afraid to die.

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A man gets pulled over by a female cop.

He asks "what seems to be the problem, officer?", and the cop responds, "oh, nothing."

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A Russian goes to a watchmaker.

He says, "My clock is defective. It only goes 'tic...tic...tic...tic...' unlike the others, which go 'tic...toc...tic...toc...'."
"No problem", says the watchmaker, taking the clock from its owner.
He then shines a light in the clock's face and says menacingly, "We have ways to make it toc."

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The problem of working in IT:

If everything works fine: "What the hell are we paying you for?"
If something breaks: "What the hell are we paying you for?"

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Aussie Helpline

"G'day mate, Aussie Helpline...What's the problem cobber?"

"I'm in Darwin with my sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp,
and now her pussy has completely closed up."

"Bummer mate!"

"Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that, Bye."

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There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,

His poems weren't always first rate,

His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had,

Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line.

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A woman goes to her Gynecologist. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the doctor.

Woman: "Something is terribly wrong. I keep finding postage stamps from
Costa Rica in my Vagina." The Doctor had a look, chuckled and said, "Those Aren't postage stamps my dear, they're the stickers off the bananas."

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To anyone who has a problem with pedophiles:

Grow up.

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Layoffs

The boss has to lay off one person from his department and he's narrowed the choice down to Ann or Jack. First he invites Ann in.
The boss says "I have a problem, I have to lay you or Jack off"
"You better jack off, I've got a headache"

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All these people are so quick to criticize Melania Trump for wanting to take on cyber bullying when that's something her husband has a problem with

But no one criticized Laura Bush for wanting to teach kids how to read

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My new thai girlfriend said "A small penis shouldn't be a problem in a loving relationship"

I still wish she didn't have one though.

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My girlfriend says that small penis isn't that big of a problem

But I still think that she shouldn't have one.

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How many I.T. guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

none. That's a hardware problem

but have you tried turning it on and off again?

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I told my wife we had a pest problem.

But, apparently we have to wait until it's 18 years old to move out.

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I don't see why in this day and age there aren't marches against fat shaming

Because marches would definitely solve the problem.

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What are the most funny Problem jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Problem? Well, here are the best Problem dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Problem pick up lines to share with friends.

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