The Best 87 Problem Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Problem jokes. There are some problem difficulty jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these problem math problem puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Problem Jokes and Puns

"Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?"

"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"

"Thanks dad !"

"No problem Alan"

The problem with Trump jokes:

Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.

Man says to his boss Can we talk? I have a problem.

Boss says Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!

Man says Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity.

The doctor gave me six months to live, so I shot him.

The judge gave me 50 years. Problem solved.

jokes about problem

she can't open windows.

On a cold winter morning, while her husband is away on business, a wife has a problem at home and sends a text message to her husband:

Windows frozen, it won't open

Husband texts back:
Pour boiling water over it inside and outside

Five minutes later, wife texts back.

Computer's really screwed up now...


Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn decide to go rob a bank.

"Now, remember the plan," Ivy tells Harley.

"Yeah, yeah, no problem!" She says, and walks into the bank. Ivy waits in the getaway car.
Time passes. Five minutes...ten...Ivy starts getting worried...fifteen...
Suddenly Harley comes rushing out of the bank, dragging a safe behind her all tied up in rope. Behing her, the guard comes running out with his pants down.

Ivy groans. "Harley, you idiot! I said to tie up the guard and blow the safe!

A farmer goes to the market to buy a rooster

He sees one he likes, so he asks the seller:"Is he any good for mating?"

"Oh, no problem there, he screwed every single chicken I had. He even tries to screw ducks, turkeys, even pigs!"

"Then why" asks the puzzled farmer "are you even selling him?"

"You see" answers the seller "lately he's been looking at me kinda funny."

Problem joke, A farmer goes to the market to buy a rooster

Interview

Employer: This is an important job, we need someone who is responsible.

Applicant: I'm the one you want!

At my last job, every time there was a problem, they said I was responsible.

Layoffs

The boss has to lay off one person from his department and he's narrowed the choice down to Ann or Jack. First he invites Ann in.
The boss says "I have a problem, I have to lay you or Jack off"
"You better jack off, I've got a headache"

A woman astronaut..

A woman astronaut calls her base:
-Houston we have a problem.
-What is it?
-Nothing...

They say masturbation makes you blind....

I don't see any problem with it.

You can explore problem solve reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean problem conundrum dad jokes. There are also problem puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


First woman on the Moon:

"Houston, we have a problem."
What?
"Never mind"
What's the problem?
"Nothing"
Please tell us?
"You know what the problem is."

The problem with kissing a perfect 10

Is how cold the mirror feels on your lips.

Confucius Say

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve a problem without violence.

There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,

His poems weren't always first rate,

His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had,

Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line.

There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola:

The directions say the medication must be taken with food.

Problem joke, There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola:

How many I.T. guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

none. That's a hardware problem

but have you tried turning it on and off again?

Why I won't carpool.

I thought about carpooling with some co-workers to work, but the problem is that on the way to the office we have to go through a tunnel. I'm deathly afraid of this situation. Turns out I have carpool tunnel syndrome.

My wife and I decided to see a therapist because our marriage was falling apart.

Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem?

Wife: I can't take it anymore. I can't live with him making Star Wars puns all the time.

Me: Divorce is strong with this one.


Pakistani math problem.

Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the explosion.

A man gets pulled over by a female cop.

He asks "what seems to be the problem, officer?", and the cop responds, "oh, nothing."

A blonde was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriends dandruff problem...

The redhead says "why don't you give him head and shoulders."

The blonde replies "how do you give shoulders?"

My wife left me because she said I had a drinking problem

After she left I lost the urge to drink.

A Mathematician is given a psychological test.

The first question asked "You see a burning house and a hose disconnected from a fire hydrant. What do you do?" After much deliberation, the Mathematician decides he would attach the hose to the hydrant. He is then asked "You see a non-burning house and a hose disconnected from a fire hydrant. What do you do?" to which the Mathematician immediately responds, "I'll set the house of fire to reduce this to a problem I've already solved."

Husband: "Waiter, my wife spilled her water".

Waiter: "No problem, I'll get you another one".
Husband: "Make sure the next one likes sports".

If I had 50 cents for every time I got a math problem wrong...

Id have $1.74

Problem joke, If I had 50 cents for every time I got a math problem wrong...

All these people are so quick to criticize Melania Trump for wanting to take on cyber bullying when that's something her husband has a problem with

But no one criticized Laura Bush for wanting to teach kids how to read

A prostitute goes to the doctor

Prostitute: "it's too wide, the guys don't like it anymore, I wanna make it tighter"

Doctor: "no problem, but I have to see it first"

She undresses and shows him.

Doctor: "What's this?" "What's this?" "What's this?"

Prostitute: "Why'd you say it 3 times?"

Doctor: "I said it once but the rest echoed"

A man went to visit his doctor because his arm is hurting.

"Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.

The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk.

"Hello, Doctor," says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!"

"Aha!'' says the doctor. ''I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"


Doctor doctor, I think I have a problem with my testicles

Is one of them meant to be bigger than the others.

Two women named Rachel meet and fall in love.

They decide to get married and go to the baker's to pick out a wedding cake. The baker inquires about their story and appalled, refuses to bake them a wedding cake. They are very upset and accuse the baker of narrow-mindedness and bigotry. "Oh, no, no, no," the baker responds, "I don't have a problem with gay marriage, I just can't support an inter-Rachel marriage!"

Happy Valentine's, everyone!

A Russian goes to a watchmaker.

He says, "My clock is defective. It only goes 'tic...tic...tic...tic...' unlike the others, which go 'tic...toc...tic...toc...'."
"No problem", says the watchmaker, taking the clock from its owner.
He then shines a light in the clock's face and says menacingly, "We have ways to make it toc."

Gay parents are awesome!

* "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard"

A church has a rat problem

The church doesn't want to kill the rats so they trap them and release them far away, but the next day they are back.
Next they try ask them politely to leave, still they won't budge.
Finally the priest has one last idea, he baptized all the rats.

Now they only come at Christmas and Easter.


Do you work on weekends?

My boss just asked, "Do you think you can come in on Saturday this week? I know you enjoy your weekends, but I need you here."

I replied, "Yeah, no problem. I'll probably be late though as the public transport is bad on weekends."

He said, "Okay, when do you think you'll get here then?"

I said, "Monday."

An old woman stopped me and asked

"Excuse me, can you show me how to get to the hospital"?
I said "No problem"
Then I pushed her under a bus

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.

Why did 7 eat 9?

Because you need 3 squared meals a day.

The police arrested 3 as well as 7, why?

Because 3 was the root of the problem.

I don't see why in this day and age there aren't marches against fat shaming

Because marches would definitely solve the problem.

Mom, someone called me gangster at school today.

Mom: Dont worry I'll go tomorrow and solve this problem

Son: Make sure it looks like an accident.

The doctor gave me 5 month to live.

So in the heat of the moment, I shot him.

And the judge gave me 25 years.

Problem solved.

My doctor said I have 2 weeks to live...

So I shot him. Problem solved, the judge gave me 20 years.

Son: "Dad why was my sister named Madonna?"

Father: "Because your mother always thought the world needed another Madonna"
Son: "Thanks, dad."
Father: "No problem, Holocaust."

Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?

Dad: She's named after something your mother loves, Easter! It's an anagram.

Son: Thanks dad.

Dad: No problem Alan.

Patients in an insane asylum are eating plaster off the walls,

the head doctor calls in the best doctor in the country to try and solve this problem. So the best doctor comes in and inspects the walls. He tells the head doctor to repaint the walls from red to green. The next day after the walls are repainted the head doctor comes in and sees the patients sitting and staring at the walls. "Why aren't you eating the walls now?" the head doctor asks them. "They arn't ripe yet"

My wife came home yesterday...

and said, "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is."

I asked her what it was and she told me it had water in the carburettor. I though for a moment, then said, "You know I don't mean this badly, but you're not mechanically inclined. You don't know the carburettor from the radiator."

"No, there's definitely water in the carburettor," she insisted.

"Ok, honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?"

"In the lake."

How about an Indian joke?

A nice Indian woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts "Is there a doctor here?"

A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: "I am. What is the problem?"

She replies: "Do you want to meet my daughter?"

A young man helps his grandfather with his computer issues

His grandfather seems to be unable to set a password.

Trying to figure out the problem the young man looks at the password the old man is trying to set

His password is ParisLondonMickeyMouse

Puzzled by this, the man asks his grandfather why he wants to set this password anyways.

The grandfather simply replies: It wanted two capitals and a character .

A man calls the hotel front desk

"Hello how I may I be of assistance sir?"

"I NEED YOU TO SEND SOMEONE TO MY ROOM RIGHT AWAY."

"Calm down Sir, what seems to be the problem?"

"My wife is trying to jump out of the window..."

"Oh that sounds like a personal matter, I'm afraid we cannot involve ourselves."

"Listen here you smartass, the window isn't opening up and that's a maintenance matter!"

I told my wife we had a pest problem.

But, apparently we have to wait until it's 18 years old to move out.

Plot Twist

A hotel receptionist gets a call*

Man: Hello, I'm in room 210, you need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she's saying that she's going to jump out of the window.

Receptionist: I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal problem. We cannnot help you with that.

Man: Listen you idiot. The window is not opening and that's a MAINTENANCE problem.

I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 500 pounds!

The only problem is I'm British...

What are the two problems with the French flag?

The red bit and the blue bit.

The problem with Nearly-Headless Nick

is that he is a poorly-executed character

Color vs Colour, Favorite vs Favourite, Neighbor vs Neighbour

British English: I think you're having problem understanding these words.
American English: no u

A Russian enters a bar full of Turkish people.

He's wearing a t-shirt with bright lettering "Turkish got 3 problems."

Just a few seconds later the Turkishs oppose him and say "Hey, yopu know what you're wearing is insulting?"
The russian responds: "This is your first problem: You're so easily offended."

The Turkish respond: "Okay, maybe we should settle this outside."
The Russian: "That's your second problem: You always want to solve your problems with violence."

The Turkish bring him outside and pull their knives.
The Russian: "And here's your third problem. You always bring knives to gun fights."

A man goes to see a sex therapist

"My problem is that my neighbor says he can do it six times a night, but I can do barely three"

"Please open your mouth," the therapist says.

The man, now confused, opens his mouth, and the doctor inspects it carefully.

"I see nothing wrong here, so you should be able to lie just like your neighbor."

A politicians promise

A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were.

We have 2 basic needs sir, replied the villager.

Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's no doctor.

On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.

Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village.

A man is staying in a hotel.

He walks up to the front desk and says, Sorry ma'am, I forgot what room I'm in, can you help me?

The receptionist replies, No problem, sir. This is the lobby.

A guy comes home from work and he is clearly upset.

His wife looks concerned and asks him what's wrong. He shakes his head and refuses to say anything.

Later, during dinner, he's just pushing his food around on his plate and staring out the window.

"Honey, what is it? I've never seen you like this before," the wife says.

"It's . . . nothing," he says. "I can't burden you with my problems. It wouldn't be fair."

"*Your* problems?" the wife says. "We are partners. We face everything together. Your problem is my problem. There is no I, just we. Now please, tell me, what is it?"

"Well," he says, looking up at her glumly. "we got our secretary pregnant and now she's suing us for support."

I am going to become a bomb defuser.

It is one job where....

Either i'm right.

Or suddenly its not my problem anymore.

A Russian dude enters a bar wearing a tshirt saying, "Turks got 3 problems."

Obvious repost

As soon as he enters the bar a bunch of Turks stop him.

Turks: you come in our country and have the balls to insult us.

Russian : that's your first problem. you guys gets offended so easily.

Turks: Let's get him outside.

Russian: that's your second problem. you wanna solve everything with violence.

*They gets outside of the bar and Turks starts taking their knives out*

Russian: that's your third problem. you bring knives to a gunfight.

A woman went to the doctor's office and seen by one of the new young doctors.

After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and, without looking up, said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

First day as a vet

Me: What seems to be the problem

Cat: Meow

Me: Yes, but where?

Snow isn't a problem in the Middle East

...but ISIS

Young couple at doctors office

Young couple visits doctor seeking advice,

"Sir you gotta help us, we tried everything to have a baby, we tried vitamins, we tried changing positions, we tried every different day of the month, we searched internet for pregnancy advice, but we just can't seem to have any luck with it, we need to know if there is some medical problem."

Doctor sat back on his chair crossed his hands and sighed,

"You boys are nuts."

There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,

There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,

His poems weren't always first rate,

His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had,

Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line.

An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Ethiopian all sit in the hospital lobby as their wives are giving birth.

After a while the doctor comes out, invites them into the nursery where 3 babies lie in cribs and says: "Congratulation! You all just became fathers! But there is one problem. Due to a nurse's error the babies got mixed up and we don't really know which one who's."

The Englishman suddenly grabs the darkest baby and sprints towards the door.

The doctor shouts: "Sir! What are you doing!!!?"

The Englishman as he's getting farther: "I'm not raising no bloody Frenchman!"

Sensei, I've been training for years, and I'm not getting any stronger. What's going on?

Have you seen the flock of cranes fly over the old mountain at sunrise?

Yes.

Have you seen the great lightning storms crack the sky before making way for a rainbow?

Yes.

Have you seen the fabled tiger as it hunts prey in the forest, quicker than the eye can see?

Yes, Sensei.

That's the problem. You keep watching stupid shit instead of practicing!

I returned to my hotel after an evening of drinking, so I went to the front desk. Excuse me, I don't remember what room I'm in. I said.

No problem, said the receptionist. You're in the lobby.

I saw 3 men standing at the urinals.

The first man, a Jewish guy, was peeing 4 streams.
"What happened to you?" I asked.

He explained "Accident at my circumcision. The rabbi had Parkinson's."

The next man, a big tough trucker, was peeing 6 streams.
"And what is your problem?" I asked.

He grunted "I had a fight with a rottweiler..."

The third man, an elderly, absent-minded looking guy, was peeing 30 streams.
"Oh my gosh, what the hell happened to you?!?" I gasped.

He looked down, then sighed.
"Oh dear, I forgot to pull down my zipper again."

My wife is concerned at the amount of brake fluid I drink and thinks I may have a problem...

I told her "It's ok, I can stop whenever I want! "

An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas.

Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!" The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week." The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

My car broke down this morning, so I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat sitting on the engine. Amazingly, he said, Hello Dave! You're a handsome fellow and very nicely dressed, too!" I realised the problem straight away.

Bat flattery

Two blind men.

This morning I had to break up a fight on the sidewalk. Two blind men going at it with their canes.
I said: "Break it up guys,What the hell is going on here!"
Blind man 1:"You owe me fifty dollars!"
Blind man 2: "I don't understand what the hell his problem is!, I told YOU! ,"I WILL PAY YOU THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU!"

A young woman was standing outside her car weeping. A soldier walks up and asks what the problem is.

It turns out she's locked her keys in the car.

"Simple," says the soldier and drops his trousers, takes them off, rolls them into a ball and rubs them on the door.

The door pops open.

"How did you do that?!" exclaimed the young woman. 

"Easy," says the soldier, "These are my khakis."

The doctor told me I had only six months to live, so I shot him dead. The judge gave me fifteen years.

Problem solved.

A man says to his boss, "Can we talk? I have a problem."

The boss exclaims, "Problem? There is no such thing. We call it an opportunity!"

The man says, "Okay then. I have a serious drinking opportunity."

Priest: Don't drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell.

Alcoholic - Really? What about the guy who sells the liquor? Priest - He will also go to Hell. Alcoholic - Ok, what about the girl who sells Al Pastor tacos, and put's out in the food truck outside the Liquor Store? Priest - She too will go to Hell. Alcoholic - In that case, I have no problem going to Hell.

So, these two engineers are trying to determine the height of a flagpole...

...A blonde woman wearing a tool belt and hardhat comes walking by, notices the engineers with their problem and goes over to help. She loosens the bolts at the base of the pole, lays it down on its side, then takes her tape measure and runs it down the side of the pole.

"26 feet 6 inches" She says to the two perplexed engineers, and then walks off.
One engineer looks at the other and says, "Typical blonde. We want the height and she gives us the length!"

Really enjoying my new life aboard the giant space station designed to solve Earth's overpopulation problem .

Just a bit weird how the sun gets slightly bigger in my cabin window every day.

The problem with political jokes is that oftentimes they get elected...

...And if they're bad enough, they bomb everywhere.

Three older ladies are discussing the trials of getting older.

One says, Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich. The second lady chimes in, Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down. The third one responds, Well, I'm sure glad I don't have that problem, knock on wood. She raps her knuckles on the table, then says, That must be the door, I'll get it.

Dentist

A man came to dentist to check his teeth. After the examination the dentist said that everything was alright, but asked the man for a favor.

\- No problem. What favor?

\- Could you please now start screaming at the top of your lungs?

\- But why? I feel no pain, and you say all is fine?

\- Look! There are 10 people waiting behind this door, and I'm in a rush to get to a soccer game on time!

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey...

The bartender gives him one, looks at him head to toe, and asks, "So, what did you dress up for this Halloween?"

The man replies, "A nine-carbon chain".

The bartender chuckles and says, "A nine-carbon chain with alcohol?"

"Yeah, any problem with that?"

"No, nonanol"



Studying chemistry right now and thought of this one. Y'all enjoy Halloween now!

My feet are toasty, but I think my wife has a hearing problem...

After all, I'm not asking for socks every night

Took my dad shopping for some new shoes

He's 86 and found it quite tiring so we stopped for a coffee and a sandwich. While sitting there some teenagers sat at the table next to us.

One of them had a Mohican hairdo that was dyed all the colours of the rainbow and my dad wouldn't stop staring at him.

Eventually the boy got fed up of this and asked my dad sarcastically 'what is your problem old man haven't you ever done anything wild just for fun'

My dad, without missing a beat, replied
'I got drunk once in my 20's and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son'

The other day my house caught fire.

The insurance agent said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?" I said, "Fire and theft." Insurance agent frowned. "Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft." Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the house is robbed WHILE it's burning down.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the problem suppositories puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working problem marital problems piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes