The Best 20 Probability Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Probability jokes. There are some probability density jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these probability eliminate puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Probability Jokes and Puns

While testing a newly installed computer, an Army officer asked the machine to predict the probability of World War Three and promptly received a one-word answer: "Yes."

Annoyed at the lack of detail, the officer
barked, "Yes, what?" Instantly the machine
replied, "Yes, sir!"

A mathematician is afraid of flying

A mathematician is afraid of flying due to the small risk of a terrorist attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with his hand luggage. "The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero."

A class is learning about probability..

Teacher: If I toss a penny, what are the chances that I get a head?

Girl: For a penny? Not very bright.

Probability joke, A class is learning about probability..

A mathematician is afraid of flying because of the risk of a terrorist bombing it in mid air. So he takes a bomb in his hand baggage

"The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero.

When a statistician passes the airport security check...

When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. "Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer..."


A mathematician is afraid of flying due to small risk of a terrorist attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with him in his hand luggage.

The probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero!

I surveyed many people who had played Russian roulette

Seems like the probability of dying is actually 0%

Probability joke, I surveyed many people who had played Russian roulette

I always bring a bomb with me on an airplane

Because the probability of there being *two* bombs on an airplane is nearly zero.

States would make a lot more revenue if they taxed people who don't understand math or basic probability.

Oh wait. I forgot about the lottery.

I took a hitchhiker.

After some time, he asked me:
"Do you take hitchhikers often?"
I nodded my head.
Then he asked: "Aren't you afraid, that one of them will be a serial killer?"
"No, I am not afraid," I answered, "There's only a very small probability, that two serial killers meet in one car."

What has the probability of one in five million?

Blonde: But there's no 1 in 5000000. Only a five and six zeros.

You can explore probability higher reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean probability cherish dad jokes. There are also probability puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Is your normal probability plot approximately linear?

Cause you can distribute your sample over me

There is a 50/50 risk of loosing your hand during your life...

Either you loose it or you don't. The probability on the other hand... is unsure.

We should start taxing people who don't comprehend math or basic probability.

Nevermind. I forgot about the lottery.

statistician boards plane with a bomb

the probability of there being two bombs on a plane is much lower

A Statistician is caught trying to sneak a bomb on a plane....

When asked why he would do such a thing, he replied:

"To reduce the probability of a bomb being on the plane"

Probability joke, A Statistician is caught trying to sneak a bomb on a plane....

Around 26 out of 100 people fail at probability theory

that's over 60%

I am like an electron....

My wife can only make guesses at my precise location by means of a probability function

Have you heard of probability before?

The student replied, "probably"


statistical joke

I walk up to you and ask
"What's the statistical probability that I could call your mama to divide her median interval??"
It takes you a second, but you realize that there's no variable to that question cuz she's all about my p-value!!!!!!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the probability risk jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working probability probable piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes