Following is our collection of funny Prize jokes. There are some prize medal jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these prize trophy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Last week's was a rollover
"What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," said Kim, and so they ambled over to the 'guess-the-weight' stand. The owner guessed 121 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. And back to the 'guess-the-weight' stand they went. Since they had been here before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."
Have you guys heard about the scarecrow that got a nobel prize for being outstanding in his field?
...because he wanted to win the "Nobel" prize!
The constellation prize.
Olie went to the neighborhood dance, and he won the big door prize. It was a toilet brush. So he took it home.
A few days later some friends of Olie asked him "Hey Olie how is that toilet brush working out for ya."
Olie said "Oh it works real good but I prefer toilet paper."
There are two cows out in the pasture, watching as the farmer takes a prize bull behind the barn to shoot it.
The first cow looks at the second one and says "Can't believe Joe came down with mad cow disease. Are you scared we might get it too?"
The second cow looks at the first cow with a puzzled look and says "Why should I be scared? We're ducks."
Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Amber?" asked Jesse.
"I want to get weighed," replied Amber.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jesse again asked Amber what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Jesse lost his dollar.
By this time, Jesse figured that she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How did it go?"
Amber responded, "Oh, Waura. It was wousy."
He wanted to to win the **Nobel Prize!**
if every fifth caller won a prize.
Because he was out standing in his field.
You can explore prize won reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean prize atrophy dad jokes. There are also prize puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
He was out standing in his field.
Why did Two pay more for socks?
Because it was a three-for-five deal!
Why did Four get jealous of Five?
Because Five had six with Seven!
(And I heard that Seven ate Nine out)
Why did Negative One share its cash prize with Zero after they tied for first place in the race?
Because Zero won too!
...I didn't come first but I did get a constellation prize. :-)
I heard she came out the Victor
A man was at the fair when he heard a carnie shouting "Step right up and spin the Wheel of Nostradamus and win a prize!" Intrigued, the man approached and asked how much for one spin.
"Only five dollars per spin, sir."
Outraged, the man asked why it was so expensive. The carnie replied:
"I'm trying to turn a prophet here!"
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
"Here'sto spending the rest of me Life,
Between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best
Toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the
Prize for the Best toast of The night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life,
Sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking
Buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled
Leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit
surprised myself. You know, he's only been in
there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by
the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell
asleep".
Farmer John is driving along the road one day when he spots his neighbour, Bill, standing on top of his tractor in the middle of his field. Overcome with curiosity, he ambles over and asks Bill what he is up to?
Bill replies, "Trying to win a Nobel prize".
"How do you figure?"
"Well, I hear they give them to people who are outstanding in their fields!"
He was given a constellation prize.
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
Life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of
The night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside
Me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
Night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's
Only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by
The ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
Who had so many children she didn't know what to do.
So she cut 'em up, put 'em into pies,
Took 'em to the fair and won first prize!
because he wanted to win the No-bell prize!!
Sorry, I ll walk out
Whichever kiddo makes the best egg dish gets to keep the Amlet omelet amulet
He won the "Nobell" prize.
I would kill for one of those
Because it's a "no bell" prize.
He got a constellation prize.
A no-bell prize
Immanuel Kant.
I've heard it's been nominated for a Mercury Prize.
It was out standing in its field!
He got a trophy.
She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't sleep. And she constantly kept trying to attack the zookeeper. So, he did some research and found out female gorillas can become depressed and aggressive when deprived from sex.
The zookeeper then looked around for another male gorilla for her to engage in intercourse, but unfortunately the zoo couldn't afford to import a male gorilla just for her to have sex.
Giving his funding situation, he goes up to the janitor and asks him "Hey, for $500, would you have sex with this gorilla?"
The janitor thought about it for a minute, and then replied "Sure, on three conditions. First condition, I don't want to kiss her."
"Okay sure! I wouldn't expect you to!"
The janitor then stated "Second condition. I don't want anyone knowing about this ordeal."
"Sure, fine! Not a problem! What's your third condition?"
Janitor said "Give me at least 2 weeks to come up with the $500"
The winner got a telescope, but all I got was a constellation prize.
He got the best bang for his buck
They said he was outstanding in his field
A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.
"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.
The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."
His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."
Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"
A trophy.
I phoned my local radio station today.
When the guy answered the phone he said, "Congratulations on being our 1st caller, all you have to do is answer the next question correctly to win our grand prize."
"Wahoo!" I shouted in delight.
"It's a Maths question," he said. "Feeling
confident?"
"I've got a degree in Maths and I teach it at my local school," I proudly replied.
"Okay then, to win 2 VIP tickets to see Justin Bieber and to meet him back stage afterwards, what's 2+2?"
"7," I replied.
The No-Belle Prize.
The No Belle prize.
He won the no Belle prize
He won the No Belle prize.
A constellation prize
To his delight, he won a million dollars. Going forward to claim his prize, he was informed that he will be paid in $1000 instalments. Appalled and shocked, he shouted to the register, give me my million dollars or give me my $1 back
Because 711452.
Can't win the mall
A no bell peace prize.
The first priest hardly lasts 30 seconds, but the second priest lasts well over 2 minutes and walks away with the prize money.
The first priest says, "I don't know how you do it."
The second replies "One of my choirboys is Epileptic."
The Nobel Peas Prize.
It was a constellation prize
Got the "no bell" prize
She won the No Belle prize
Because he was out standing in his field
Must have won a no-bell prize
deserves a Nobel prize
They call it the Enter prize
He won a "no bell" prize
should get a no bell prize.
His father finally asked him "son, why are you wasting your time standing out here?"
Son replied "father, I am not wasting my time, I am trying to win a nobel prize!"
The father thought he was studying the environment and was impressed, still he asked "how do you plan on doing that?"
Son replied "I have heard that people who won Nobel prizes were outstanding in various fields. So I am doing the same."
I think i deserve a Nobel prize.
The no bell prize.
I was the knight no one expected to see on the battlefield. - Sir Prize
I shall see you around. - Sir Cumference
We shall fight on land or sea. - Sir Fenturf
I was the knight who was afraid to fight. - Sir Render
I was the unbelievable knight. - Sir Real
I was the knight that drank too much. - Sir Rhosis
For real
Atrophy
... Go for the Darwin Award!
and said that research would should be directed towards white holes as well.
Second place is just a constellation prize
A police officer pulled over a car on a deserted highway and told the driver, "Congratulations! You're the first person here today who was wearing a seat belt and now you're entitled to a prize of 1000$. What are you gonna do with your money?"
"Well", replied the man, "I think I'm gonna get a driver's license."
"Oh, Ignore him.", his wife said, "He always speaks nonsense when he's drunk."
"I KNEW IT!", his father bellowed from the backseat, "I KNEW WE WON'T GET FAR IN A STOLEN CAR."
Then came the voice from the trunk, "Are we over the border yet?"
When they get there, he asks her what she wants to do now. She says "I wanna get weighed." So he takes her to one of those guess your weight booths and she gets a prize. He asks her again what she wants to do. Again, "I wanna get weighed".
This goes on the whole night. Finally the guy gets fed up and takes her home. When she walks in the door, her mom asks "how was your date?"
She replies "*sigh* wousy"
a trophy.
Three:
One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the poor.
One to report it as a conspiracy to deprive the poor of darkness.
And one to win a Pulitzer Prize for reporting that the electric company hired someone to break the lightbulb in the first place.
But in the end none of them actually changed the bulb.
Unfortunately, they messed up the award... Instead of making it in the shape of a kitty's face they made it into a kitty's behind!!
It's a real cat-ass-trophy!
He won the no-bell prize.
He won the Chernobyl Piece Prize.
The young boy gazes in amazement and then turns to his father.
Dad, where do you think we go when we die?
I believe that when we die our souls join the stars, son.
I've always heard that the afterlife is a gift that not everyone gets.
I'm not sure if it's a gift, but it's definitely a constellation prize.
## Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the no-bell prize.
Breakfast of Champignons
A no-bell prize!
Ran through a drive up this morning before school.
As we are pulling away from the window, she looks in the bag.
Dad you should see this! It's beautiful, the hashbrowns are stacked side by side, the sandwiches are perfectly wrapped, and the napkins are placed so they won't get oily...I am not sure who did this, but they should be awarded the Nobel Grease Prize.
She looked at me with a sly smile and I told her...I saw what you did there. We both laughed.
A great dad joke from a 10 yr old.
Gaston
As a constellation prize!
He won the Nobel prize
It's a catastrophe!
A trophy
Gaston.
It's a constellation prize.
It was a complete Sir prize
Atrophy
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