Prize Jokes
163 prize jokes and hilarious prize puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about prize that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some laughs? Check out this collection of prize jokes. From Nobel Peace Prize humor to consolation prize gags, these jokes are all about giving and winning awards. See what kind of reward awaits the Scarecrow, the Prize Winner, and more. Get ready to chuckle!
Quick Jump To
- Short Prize Jokes
- Prize One Liners
- Prize Giving Jokes
- Nobel Peace Prize Jokes
- Prize Winner Jokes
- Consolation Prize Jokes
- More Prize Jokes
Funniest Prize Short Jokes
Short prize jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The prize humour may include short trophy jokes also.
- Congratulations to Tu Youyou on winning the Nobel Prize in medicine and for being the most confusing person to sing Happy Birthday to.
- What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year? A trophy.
- My brother won a prize for staying in a hospital bed for a really long time. He got a trophy.
- Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a nobel prize? They said he was outstanding in his field
- Have you guys heard about the scarecrow... Have you guys heard about the scarecrow that got a nobel prize for being outstanding in his field?
- What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't used their muscles at all for the past year? A trophy
- What award does NASA give the astronauts that board their spacecraft particularly quickly? The starship -enter-prize.
- What do you give a country that hasn't rang it's bell for war in 100 years? A no bell peace prize.
- I got second place in a star gazing competition once. The winner got a telescope, but all I got was a constellation prize.
- I entered a contest where the grand prize was a shopping center, but I lost Can't win the mall
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Prize One Liners
Which prize one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with prize? I can suggest the ones about award and giveaway.
- Why wasn't 6 excited that 7 won a prize for her? Because 711452.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the no-bell prize.
- What is first prize in a competition to lose muscle mass? a trophy.
- The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize.
- What did the winner of the muscle loss contest receive as a prize? Atrophy
- The Queen just phoned to say I have won a knighthood! It was a complete Sir prize
- A thief broke into my house and stole my prized thesaurus. I am at a loss for words.
- What's the only prize that Gaston won in beauty and the beast? The No Belle prize.
- The creator of the very first knock knock joke.. Must have won a no-bell prize
- The taxidermist mounted the wrong end of my prize lion on the wall. It's a catastrophe!
- Did you hear? Gaston won an award! He won the No Belle prize.
- Why did the scarecrow get the Nobel prize? He was out standing in his field.
- What did the person who invented knock-knock jokes win? A no-bell prize!
- What did they give the guy who invented the doorknocker? A no-bell prize
- A dumpling once won a Nobel Prize for being so wa-onderful.
Prize Giving Jokes
Here is a list of funny prize giving jokes and even better prize giving puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What kind of prize do you give to a person that hasn't moved a muscle in over a year? Atrophy
- What award do they give to the thinnest person in the world? The No-Belly Prize
- What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved in a year? A trophy
- Why did the lottery winner begrudgingly give his prize car to his parents? Because they told him it was his-folks'-wagon.
Nobel Peace Prize Jokes
Here is a list of funny nobel peace prize jokes and even better nobel peace prize puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Nobel Peace Prize I would kill for one of those
- When you don't qualify for a Nobel Peace Prize... ... Go for the Darwin Award!
- Why was the scarecrow nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize? Because he was out standing in his field
- Donald Trump has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize For real
- Nobel Prize I'd kill for a Nobel Peace prize
- I want the Nobel Peace prize at any cost. I'd kill for it.
- What did Kim Jong Un say about when Donald Trump might win a Nobel Peace Prize? I think it's gonna be a long, long time.
- Did you hear about the cow that won the nobel peace prize? It was outstanding in its field.
- Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize and we stay at War for 2 terms... Trump pulls troops out... world thinks he was blackmailed.
Is this really the world we live in now? - If good looks could kill, yo mama... would win the Nobel Peace Prize.
Prize Winner Jokes
Here is a list of funny prize winner jokes and even better prize winner puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Nobel Prize winners are a lot like farmers Oftentimes they are outstanding in their field.
- Why did one Nobel Prize winner kill the other? Because Obama and Doctors Without Borders
- Yo momma's so s**..., she makes Homer Simpson look like a Nobel Prize winner.
Consolation Prize Jokes
Here is a list of funny consolation prize jokes and even better consolation prize puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Brasil National Football Team got a brand new van as a consolation prize.... It fits 7.
Uproarious Prize Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about prize you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean contest winning jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make prize pranks.
Just bought a raffle ticket, top prize a Mediterranean cruise.
Last week's was a rollover
Joe took his blind date, Kim, to the carnival...
"What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," said Kim, and so they ambled over to the 'guess-the-weight' stand. The owner guessed 121 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. And back to the 'guess-the-weight' stand they went. Since they had been here before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."
Why did the scientist take off his doorbell?
...because he wanted to win the "Nobel" prize!
What did Orion receive when he won second place in the archery contest?
The constellation prize.
The Door Prize
Olie went to the neighborhood dance, and he won the big door prize. It was a toilet brush. So he took it home.
A few days later some friends of Olie asked him "Hey Olie how is that toilet brush working out for ya."
Olie said "Oh it works real good but I prefer toilet paper."
Mad Cow Disease
There are two cows out in the pasture, watching as the farmer takes a prize bull behind the barn to shoot it.
The first cow looks at the second one and says "Can't believe Joe came down with mad cow disease. Are you scared we might get it too?"
The second cow looks at the first cow with a puzzled look and says "Why should I be scared? We're ducks."
What are some dirty jokes you know?
I was asked to submit some dirty jokes to an ongoing event. The annoucer ask a person a dirty joke and if they guess the answer correctly they're awarded a prize.
An example of a dirty joke they've asked is "What do you call two people 69ing?"
"Odor eaters."
Any dirty jokes are greatly appreciated.
The Carnival Date
Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Amber?" asked Jesse.
"I want to get weighed," replied Amber.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jesse again asked Amber what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Jesse lost his dollar.
By this time, Jesse figured that she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How did it go?"
Amber responded, "Oh, Waura. It was wousy."
My niece comes up with the best kid jokes. Why did the scientist remove his doorbell?
He wanted to to win the **Nobel Prize!**
I think gambling hotlines would be more effective
if every fifth caller won a prize.
Why did the cow win a Nobel Prize?
Because he was out standing in his field.
Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven ate Nine. Lame, right? I made up some more!
Why did Two pay more for socks?
Because it was a three-for-five deal!
Why did Four get jealous of Five?
Because Five had six with Seven!
(And I heard that Seven ate Nine out)
Why did Negative One share its cash prize with Zero after they tied for first place in the race?
Because Zero won too!
So I entered an astronomy contest the other day...
...I didn't come first but I did get a constellation prize. :-)
Did you hear Victoria entered a boxing tournament where the grand prize was a s**... change?
I heard she came out the Victor
Wheel of Nostradamus
A man was at the fair when he heard a carnie shouting "Step right up and spin the Wheel of Nostradamus and win a prize!" Intrigued, the man approached and asked how much for one spin.
"Only five dollars per spin, sir."
Outraged, the man asked why it was so expensive. The carnie replied:
"I'm trying to turn a prophet here!"
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer...
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
"Here'sto spending the rest of me Life,
Between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best
Toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the
Prize for the Best toast of The night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life,
Sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking
Buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled
Leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit
surprised myself. You know, he's only been in
there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by
the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell
asleep".
Farming for a Nobel Prize
Farmer John is driving along the road one day when he spots his neighbour, Bill, standing on top of his tractor in the middle of his field. Overcome with curiosity, he ambles over and asks Bill what he is up to?
Bill replies, "Trying to win a Nobel prize".
"How do you figure?"
"Well, I hear they give them to people who are outstanding in their fields!"
Did you hear about the time Orion lost an archery match?
He was given a constellation prize.
Best toast in all of Ireland
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
Life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of
The night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside
Me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
Night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's
Only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by
The ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
I went to a space museum, because they where having a prize drawing for a car.
I didn't win the car but they gave me a constellation prize.
A beloved nursery rhyme from my childhood!
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
Who had so many children she didn't know what to do.
So she cut 'em up, put 'em into pies,
Took 'em to the fair and won first prize!
Why did a scientist disconnect his doorbell?
because he wanted to win the No-bell prize!!
Sorry, I ll walk out
Did you hear about the prize for the Amish children's cooking competition?
Whichever kiddo makes the best egg dish gets to keep the Amlet omelet amulet
Did you hear about the guy that invented the door knocker?
He won the "Nobell" prize.
Why did Alexander Graham Bell never receive a nobel prize?
Because it's a "no bell" prize.
I recently won a punctuation competition.
My prize was an apos-*trophy*.
What happened when the astrophysicist lost a competition?
He got a constellation prize.
Well now that Nietzsche won the prize for Best German Philosopher...
Immanuel Kant.
Someone's written an album about thermometers...
I've heard it's been nominated for a Mercury Prize.
How did the sheep get a Nobel Prize?
It was out standing in its field!
Scientists detected gravitational waves directly for the first time
Your mom's gonna get half the Nobel prize.
A zookeeper notices his prize gorilla was getting aggressive..
She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't sleep. And she constantly kept trying to attack the zookeeper. So, he did some research and found out female gorillas can become depressed and aggressive when deprived from s**....
The zookeeper then looked around for another male gorilla for her to engage in i**..., but unfortunately the zoo couldn't afford to import a male gorilla just for her to have s**....
Giving his funding situation, he goes up to the janitor and asks him "Hey, for $500, would you have s**... with this gorilla?"
The janitor thought about it for a minute, and then replied "Sure, on three conditions. First condition, I don't want to kiss her."
"Okay sure! I wouldn't expect you to!"
The janitor then stated "Second condition. I don't want anyone knowing about this ordeal."
"Sure, fine! Not a problem! What's your third condition?"
Janitor said "Give me at least 2 weeks to come up with the $500"
Did you hear about the hunter who traded a prize deer for a high class p**...?
He got the best bang for his buck
Do You Know Why The Scarecrow Won The Nobel Prize?
Because he was outstanding in his field!!
A police officer pulls over a driver...
A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.
"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.
The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."
His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."
Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"
Why did the farmer win the Nobel Prize?
There was a clerical error. The award was intended to go to Malala Yousafzai for her advocacy work for education for young girls.
Gaston was actually very brilliant.
He won the No Belle Prize
A Grand Prize
I phoned my local radio station today.
When the guy answered the phone he said, "Congratulations on being our 1st caller, all you have to do is answer the next question correctly to win our grand prize."
"Wahoo!" I shouted in delight.
"It's a Maths question," he said. "Feeling
confident?"
"I've got a degree in Maths and I teach it at my local school," I proudly replied.
"Okay then, to win 2 VIP tickets to see Justin Bieber and to meet him back stage afterwards, what's 2+2?"
"7," I replied.
Congrats to Gaston on his award!
The No-Belle Prize.
Whats the evidence that Gaston is the best guy ever?
He won the no Belle prize
If you were to choose between winning the big lottery prize and your wife
what car would you buy?
What was the prize for the body builder who went the longest time without working out?
aTrophy
No such thing as a free yatch [Long]
A salesman talked my uncle into buying 10,000 personalized pens for his business with the promise that
he would be eligible to win a 32-foot yacht. A born gambler, my uncle agreed.
Well, he won, and a few weeks after the pens arrived, his prize showed up: a 12-inch plastic yacht with
32 plastic feet glued to the bottom.
What did the Russians receive when they lost the space race?
A constellation prize
A s**... person buys a lottery ticket for $1
To his delight, he won a million dollars. Going forward to claim his prize, he was informed that he will be paid in $1000 instalments. Appalled and shocked, he shouted to the register, give me my million dollars or give me my $1 back
There was a pun competition run by my local newspaper last week.
The prize was $100, so I was really excited, and entered my 10 best puns.
I checked hopefully this morning to see if any of my puns had won, but no pun in ten did.
A short true tale about Ireland, quiz-shows and h**...
Decades ago when I lived on the rocky coast of West Cork, there was a quiz show called "Quicksilver". It had a top prize of something like $1.25 (perhaps a bit more), and the contestants were just average people. In one show the contestant was asked for h**...'s first name. He thought about, smiled and said "Heil" He did not win his $1.25 but almost everyone in Ireland remembers the tale.
What prize did the man win for his pants falling down?
The no belt peace prize.
I have the memory of a goldfish
And a Nobel prize for inventing the device that could extract it.
Two priests are at a Bucking Bronco contest
The first priest hardly lasts 30 seconds, but the second priest lasts well over 2 minutes and walks away with the prize money.
The first priest says, "I don't know how you do it."
The second replies "One of my choirboys is Epileptic."
What award did Gregor Mendel receive for his work in the field of Genetics?
The Nobel Peas Prize.
I was really disappointed when I came last in the astronomy competition, but they still gave me a map of the stars just for participating.
It was a constellation prize
What do you call two Scottish potatos who have just recived a rock as a prize?
Kilt tubers with won stone.
What did Gaston win?
The no-Belle prize.
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke
Got the "no bell" prize
Did you hear about the french woman that invented the knock knock joke?
She won the No Belle prize
Almost a Knock-Knock joke
In 1967, Joe Wallace, the inventor of the Knock-Knock joke, was awarded a ...No Bell prize.
the person who invented knock knock jokes ...
deserves a Nobel prize
Did you jear about the scarecrow who won a nobel prize?
He was outstanding in his field!
Star Trek fans always expect a gift when going to a convention.
They call it the Enter prize
Did you hear about the guy who made up the knock knock joke?
He won a "no bell" prize
A contest for political jokes is held in a communist country.
Main prize: 20 years
Why did the scientist remove the bell off the house?
Because he wanted to win the NoBell prize.
Why did the scarecrow win a noble prize?
He was outstanding in his field
