Privacy Jokes
98 privacy jokes and hilarious privacy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about privacy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out this article to get the inside scoop on some of the best privacy jokes around! From privacy law to hipaa privacy, data privacy to whatsapp privacy, this compilation of jokes will put a smile on your face while still respecting professional norms around secrecy and safety. It's time to lighten the mood and have a chuckle about the every day responsibility of privacy.
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Funniest Privacy Short Jokes
Short privacy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The privacy humour may include short security jokes also.
- My son came home as I was taking his door off it's hinges and asked Dad what are you doing?
We've updated our privacy policy - The misuse of users' Facebook data has caused mark zuckerberg significant emotional distress. He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.
- Alexa, tell me a joke Alexa, tell me a joke. ...Alexa? Alexa?
Sorry, I wasn't listening. I thought you deserved some privacy.
Really? Well, that's nic-
Would you like to hear another joke? - So Trump is working with Putin on cybersecurity... In other news, the principal at my school is working with the boys to install a surveillance system to insure privacy in the girls' locker room.
- My wife thinks I don't give her enough privacy. At least that's what she said in her diary...
- What doesn't the US government update it's privacy policy? You need to have one first before you updated it.
- My brother thinks I don't give him enough privacy. That's what he wrote about me in his diary.
- The last man on Earth was sitting alone in a room, when all of a sudden his phone rang... We've updated our privacy policy.
- When companies say We value your privacy! They really mean We put a value on your privacy!
- I wrote a college paper about government agencies slowly encroaching on internet privacy. It's called "NSA: An Essay."
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Privacy One Liners
Which privacy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with privacy? I can suggest the ones about rights and permission.
- What does the letter p in Facebook stand for? Privacy!
- Roses are red, sorry for the Hypocrisy But hey, we've updated our privacy policy
- Mark Zuckerberg values your privacy at $157 Facebook stock price
- What room in a hospital has the least amount of privacy? The ICU.
- Windows 10 users won't get this. Privacy.
- Teleports behind you We've updated our Privacy & Policy
- Never trust a website with purple terms and conditions. They clearly violet your privacy.
- I told my mum she was invading my privacy She told me I came out her privacy
- What do you call a person who does not respect your privacy? A Zuckerberg
- Someone made a post saying 'Privacy is Important'... ...the post was on Facebook
- I like my privacy policy updates like I like my women All talk and zero action
- Why doesn't Cookie Monster have good internet privacy? He always accepts the cookies.
- If you live in an igloo, what's the worst thing about global warming? No privacy!
- *Opens box of cereal* We've updated our privacy policy.
- I'd tell you a secret, but... I too have updated my privacy policy.
Privacy Policy Jokes
Here is a list of funny privacy policy jokes and even better privacy policy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If a tree falls in the woods and nobody's around to hear it Does it still let everyone know it updated its privacy policy?
- Today, my girlfriend has agreed that we can do everything in bed now. She accepted my updated privacy policy without reading.
- My wife wasn't too thrilled When I cursed at Ashley Madison for updating their privacy policy.
- God does 24 * 7 * ∞ surveillance... ...so at least he doesn't bother us with updating His Privacy Policy
- Hey guys something new came up!!!!! We updated our privacy policy.
- You know why North Korea won't meet for the nuclear summit? They haven't updated their privacy policy.
- The NSA's privacy policy [...] NSA is committed to protecting your privacy and will collect no personal information about you unless you choose to provide that information to us. [...]
- She : I'm breaking up with you because I love another guy Me : since when? She : 6 months Me : why didn't you tell me then? She : we have updated our privacy policy
- A bottle washes onto the shore on a deserted island... *opens bottle*
We've updated our Privacy Policy - I came home from work one day and my wife was putting cardboard over the windows, I said babe what are you doing? She said We've updated our privacy policy
Data Privacy Jokes
Here is a list of funny data privacy jokes and even better data privacy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm really worried about my privacy being compromised and my personal data being shared by third parties. "Alexa, what steps can I take to protect my privacy?"
- I had to contact by ex in Poland. To confirm that I had her consent for her personal email and phone number and other personal data as per the new European privacy regulations and GDPR guidelines.
Privacy Law Jokes
Here is a list of funny privacy law jokes and even better privacy law puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you read that email about the new privacy laws affecting the terms and conditions? TL;DR
Uproarious Privacy Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about privacy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean peace jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make privacy pranks.
On the one hand I feel bad that Jeniffer Lawrence privacy was invaded, but on the other hand
...well that hand is busy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Facebook should make a bigger deal over privacy, certainly as far as photos are concerned.
I managed to find a really attractive girl I'd seen before, and without adding her, I could see all her photos, including some in a bikini.
I mean, she's lucky it's only me w**... and not some pervert.
If I know anything about girls, it's that they appreciate privacy.
Trust me I've read a ton of diaries.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Fat chicks are like m**....
Totally fine to do in the privacy of your own home, but you should be ashamed to be caught in public.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Woman in a coma
Two nurses are giving a woman in a coma a sponge bath. They notice that when they get near her private areas that she starts to get a little stimulated. The theorize that o**... s**... will bring her out the coma. They go out into the lobby and tell her husband their theory. The husband is a little aprehensive about it at first, but he agrees to do it. The nurses leave the man with his wife and give him some privacy. They come back about 10 minutes later and the woman is dead! "What happened?" asks one of the nurses. The man replies, "I dont know...I think she choked."
A man starts wearing cellophane pants around the house.
At first, his wife doesn't mind, since it's in the privacy of their own home, but pretty soon he starts wearing the cellophane pants outside of the house. She makes him go to a psychiatrist and the guy says "Doc, you've got to help me I can't stop wearing these cellophane pants." And the doctor replies, "Well...I can clearly see your nuts."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Strippers won't tell you their real names for privacy,
But they'll show you their buttholes for $5
What do u get when an alien barges into your bathroom while you're taking a shower?
An invasion of privacy.
Why did the flying saucer record the family?
Privacy is alien to them.
A guy walks past a mental hospital
A guy is walking past a mental hospital with a high privacy fence, and can hear some kind of chant going on. As he gets closer, he hears them chanting, "sixteen! Sixteen! Sixteen!"Curious as to what is going on, he notices a small hole in the fence. He walks over and presses his face to it to try and see in, only to get poked in the eyes. The chant continues, "Seventeen! Seventeen! Seventeen!"
Asteriskie_, want to do a Privacy Checkup?
We care about your privacy [...]
—The Facebook Privacy Team
Clean my Window
Of course I should clean my windows. But privacy is important too.
Big Brother can see every single facet of our lives, we truly have no privacy and no control over own lives.
But can Big Brother see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?
Did you hear the joke about the Russian Oligarchs?
Neither did anybody else, because the Secret Service was kept away due to "privacy concerns"
Headline: Kris Jenner Worries About Kylie Jenner's Privacy: 'There's Always Somebody Trying to Exploit' Her
"and that's my job" -Kris
So much for privacy...
Google: We really value your privacy
Twitter: We'd never collect anything
Apple: We securely encrypt everything on-device
Facebook: Literally gives you an ad for something you dreamt about
My girlfriend said to me that she would break up with me for invading her privacy
Or at least that's what it said in her diary.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People who steal our privacy to manipulate us are worms.
We should call them Cambridge Annelidica
Mark Zuckerberg has been failing a lot recently: the Russian interference, the privacy leaks,
the touring test...
My psychiatrist says I invade other people's privacy because I'm "insecure".
Says the guy whose home WiFi password is "password123".
We have updated our Privacy Statement and Terms of Service
I didn't bother writing a punchline, because you're not gonna read it anyway.
"We've updated our privacy agreements."
Hits I accept without reading the changes.
You have a new email!
"we've updated our privacy policy"
First time posting here. No idea if I did it right.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My roommate recently started having much louder s**... with his girlfriend. "What changed?" I asked.
"We've updated our privacy policy."
I won $4 during the Mega Millions lottery today
Please respect our privacy as our family decides how to move forward in this exciting and pivotal moment in time.
I recently found out that Google is invading our privacy and listing to what we talk.
At least someone is listening to what I say.
Why is there no privacy in Idaho?
The potatoes have eyes.
What's the difference between true communism and unhindered capitalism.
One spies on the people, removes privacy for the sake of the masses, and props up an establishment that serves only the lucky few.
And the other fortunately never caught on in America.
The lizard and I have so much respect for each other's privacy
When I enter room, she leaves. When she enters the room, I leave
My friends told me I didn't give them enough privacy...
We were at a friend's house when two of them were talking behind my back
Outraged I said "Hey don't talk behind my back!"
But I forgot one crucial thing...
They couldn't hear me from the vents.
As a physician I can not disclose if any of my patients have long hair, smoke cannabis or wear tie die clothes..
Because of hippie privacy regulations.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny's parents decided to have a go after all the pentup s**... frustration from being cooped up at home during the pandemic even though little Johnny was at home.
After hearing about the success their friends had in getting their children out of the house by asking them to count red cars in the balcony, little Johnny's parents decided to do the same to get some privacy.
So to get him out of the house, they gave him a lolipop and told him to go to the balcony and count the number of red cars on the road.
"Why? Are you guys going to have s**...?" Johnny asks.
"How did you know?" Johnny's father asks.
"Well, I've seen lots of reposts about this joke enough to know where this is going!" Johnny exclaimed.
A doctor is calling in patients from the waiting room
-due to new privacy regulations we aren't allowed to call in patients by their name, so could the lady with hemorrhoids please follow me?
I went to a new family doctor today
I went to a new family doctor today. The waiting room was spacious, new renovation, nice and beautiful nurses. And it got a sign:
"We respect our patients' privacy, we will not call you by name".
Quite good eh, I thought.
Completed the registration, I sat down in the waiting area, reading the latest car magazine. A moment later, the nurse speak with the mic:
"The man age 32, with haemorrhoids, please proceed to examination room number 3".
