Prison Warden Jokes
23 prison warden jokes and hilarious prison warden puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about prison warden that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Prison Warden Short Jokes
Short prison warden jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The prison warden humour may include short warden jokes also.
- Came up with this joke this morning in the shower. I took a tour of a prison for poets, at the end the warden asked what I thought of it. I said it has its prose and cons.
- A cannibal was in prison. One day, he ate his cellmate. The warden did not believe he had eaten the man. The cannibal threw up his hands in frustration.
- Turkish Joke A prisoner goes to the warden and asks for a book. The guard makes a phone call then says:
We don't have the book but we have the author across the hall. - Why did the warden cancel the prison writing contest? There were too many cons and not enough prose
- After being shown around, the prison warden was asked for his opinion on the prisoners' new creative writing class. ..."It has its prose & cons"
- Prisoner A approaches Prisoner B... "Wanna buy a ticket for the Chief Wardens ball?"
"Nah. I don't dance."
"It's not a dance, it's a raffle". - A convicted m**... is on death row, and is scheduled to be killed via electric chair. The prison warden asks: 'Do you have any final requests'? The m**... responds: 'Can you please hold my hand'?
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Prison Warden One Liners
Which prison warden one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with prison warden? I can suggest the ones about prison guard and prison officer.
- What do you call a prison guard who is very particular about his food? Warden Ramsay
- What did the warden say to the new prisoner ? Come in-mate.
- I hate people who go to prison.. Example : The warden.
Uproarious Prison Warden Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about prison warden you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean game warden jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make prison warden pranks.
Two prisoners are on death row
And the day of their execution has come.
The warden turns the first prisoner and asks, "Any last requests?"
"I'd really like to hear the Macarena one last time," he replies.
The warden nods. "Very well. And you?"
he asks the second prisoner.
"Kill me first."
A prisoner slipped on the stairs 5 years into his 14 year sentence.
He suffered some minor injuries but he decided to pretend to be in a coma for rest of his sentence.
When he finally decided to drop the act on the last day of his sentence, the warden arrested him again, because you aren't supposed to end a sentence with a coma.
A Frenchman, a Jew and a p**...
A Frenchman, a Jew and a p**... are each sentenced to thirty years in prison. Each man is given one request that will be honored by the jail warden.
A woman, asks the Frenchman.
A telephone, says the Jew.
A cigarette, says the p**....
Thirty years later the Frenchman walks out with the woman and ten kids.
The Jew strolls out carrying a ten thousand dollar commission he has made during the time.
The p**... walks out and says, Has anyone got a match?
"Now then" said the warden addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot.....
"I would like to know two things: First: why did you revolt? Second: how did you get out of our cell?" One of the three men stepped forward "Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful". "I see. And the cell, what did you use to break the bars?" "Toast" replied the leader,
My friend is a prison warden currently doing sensitivity training. His homework entails "What would you do if you saw two curious inmates indulging in i**...? "
I said "Why can't we just let bi-cons be bi-cons?!"
I have a friend in prison who is very kind.
Someone asked him to donate his eye, he gave it for free. Someone asked for his kidney, he also gave it for free. Another asked for his hands, he gave them both, free of charge.
My good friend was still willing to donate his legs as well but the Warden didn't approve it.
The Warden said, "That's enough! You think I didn't notice that you are trying to escape piece by piece?!"
The daughter of a warden sees her husband crying
Wife: What's wrong honey?
Husband: Do you remember when I got you pregnant and your father told me if I didn't marry you he would put me in prison for 25 years?
Wife: Yeah, so?
Husband: Well, I would have gotten out yesterday.
All US prison wardens got together and brainstormed to put a stop to prison rapes.
They finally decided on a high tech solution- an anti-slip soap bar with an internal combustion engine equipped with state of the art artificial engine that would fly the soap back to the prisoner's hand even if it somehow falls down.
The Russian wardens too found a solution- shower gel.
The condemned prisoner stood before the firing squad.
The jail warden told him that as per custom, he was to be granted one final request, provided it was something straightforward and easily manageable.
The prisoner explained that he loved singing and requested to sing his favourite childhood song to completion.
The warden motioned to the firing squad to hold their fire until the song was completed.
The prisoner held his head up high and started to sing - "A billion bottles of beer on the wall, a billion bottles of beer..."
a brunette, ad red head, and a blonde escape from prison
The three ladies hatch a plot to escape from prison by hiding in a laundry truck. As soon as the truck stops, they jump out and make a run for it.
Being in the middle of nowhere they head for a plume of smoke that seems to be coming from a chimney.
Upon arriving at a farm, they hear sirens and dogs barking not far behind them.
In a panic, the ladies run into a barn and close the door.
Looking for a place to hide, they find three burlap sacks on the ground, and each one climbs inside a sack.
Hiding quietly, they hear the barn door open and the prison warden followed by three guards walk in.
the warden walks up to a sack and kicks it. the brunette inside yelps, "ruff, ruff, ruff!"
"eh, just some puppies" says the warden.
the warden walks up to the sack where the redhead is hiding, kicks it, and hears "meow, meow", and says "eh, just some kittens".
So he walks up to the sack where the blond is hiding, kicks it and hears "potatoes, potatoes!"