The Best 25 Prison Or Work Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Prison Or Work jokes. There are some prison or work aging jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these prison or work home work puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Prison Or Work Jokes and Puns
A woman visits her husband in prison
Before leaving, she tells a correction officer:
"You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"
The officer laughs, saying:
"Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his own cell!"
"Bullshit! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!"
3 men are in a Soviet Prison
They ask each other why they are in prison.
The first says 'I was always 5 minutes late for work, so I was accused of sabotage'
The second says 'I was always 5 minutes early for work, so I was accused of espionage'
But the third says 'I was always on time for work, so I was accused of having a Western watch'
What is the difference between a prison guard and a member of Congress
One interacts with felons, half of which are probably innocent of crimes, and the other works on Capitol Hill.
Potato Patch
An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Fred, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad, For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES! Love, Fred
At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Fred
Dates are cool when I tell them I worked in a prison for twenty five years.
But man, if I forget that 'a'...
Before a trial in a Death penalty case the judge asks the jury 1 question:
Judge: If the evidence warrants it, would any of you take issue with giving the death penalty to the defendant?
(Juror stands)
Juror: The prison is in Huntsville your honour?
Judge: Yes.
Juror: Well that's a pretty far drive for me & I work all week so I can only do it on a Saturday if that's alright with you.
I work in a prison, and when people ask me if I enjoy my job...
...I tell them that it has it's pros and cons.
A man writing in his diary:
I am an ideal man. I don't smoke, drink, or go to night clubs. I have always been loyal to my wife and don't flirt with strange women. I sleep at eight o'clock and wake up early. I exercise daily and work regular hours. But all this will change as soon as I get out of prison.
I asked if a customer wanted to dine in or take away...
When at work one evening, someone wanted some fish and chips...
I asked if they wanted to dine in or take away.
He replied with 'Fuck off you piece of shit!'
I work in a prison.
What job can prisoners do?
Serving drinks, because it's working behind bars.
My friends asked what it is like working in a prison.
There are some pros and a lot of cons
You can explore prison or work imprisonment reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean prison or work prisoners dad jokes. There are also prison or work puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
My cousin used to work at a prison's cafeteria
The work was grueling
a lady visits her husband in a prison
A lady visits her husband in a prison. After talking to him she talks to a prison administrator:
"Shouldn't my husband be treated better? All this hard work he has to do!"
"What hard work?" asks the administrator "he's a librarian here."
"Well," replies the lady, "he was telling me something about digging a tunnel every night..."
My girlfriend used to work at an American prison in Cuba.
She's my Guantanamo Bae.
While working as a prison guard in Prague, part of my job included a lot of walking up and down the prison corridors.
I used to pass a lot of bad Czechs.
So three women escape from a prison, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head.
They hide under a tarp on a work truck. The security guard is checking the tarp at the gate. He pokes his rifle at the brunette and she goes "meow, meow". He pokes his rifle at the red head and she goes "woof, woof". He pokes his rifle at the blonde and she goes "potato, potato".
Another old Soviet joke
Three prisoners are standing in the yard at a Siberian work camp.
The first says to the second, "What are you in here for?" and the second one replies "I said something nasty about Comrade Popov in 1937. What about you?"
The first prisoner says, "I said something nice about Comrade Popov in 1938."
They both turn to the third prisoner. "And you, comrade, why are you here?" The third prisoner says, "I *am* Comrade Popov!"
Bill Cosby walks out of prison...
..and gets on a bus, and rides it to a long rock wall. Next to a big oak, he finds a letter.
He follows it to Mexico, where he finds Jeffrey Epstein working on his boat.
three men were sitting in a prison in moscow
they discuss why they were arrested
the first one says I showed up ten minutes late to work and was arrested for sabotage
the second one says I showed up five minutes early to work and was arrested for espionage
the third one says I showed up to work on time and was arrested for owning a western watch
I started a poetry club at the prison I work at. It's great for the inmates, but does mean I have to stay late with no extra pay
It's got prose and cons.
Life is all a matter of perspective
For example, I know a guy who eats three square meals a day, reads two books a week, works out twice a day, has sex every week...and STILL he complains about being in prison!
Three prisoners of communist regime
Three prisoners are in one cell and they talk about why they are here.
First guy: "My watch was always 10 minutes late, so I was always late for work and they locked me up for betrayal."
Second guy: "My watch was always 10 minutes early, so I was always 10 minutes early to work and they locked me up for being a spy."
Third guy: "My watch was always on time, so I was always in time to work and they locked me up for having an offshore watch."
I had many career paths to choose from - lawyer, prison guard, veterinarian
but none of them satisfied my desire to work with animals quite like being a teacher
What do you call a guy named James who smokes e-cigs and works at a prison?
Jim the Juul Man Jailor
Life is all about perspective. Take my friend for example...
...The guy has sex at least twice a week. He works out like everyday. He reads a book at least every few days... but the guy is constantly complaining to me about hiw bad prison is.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the prison or work first day at work jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working prison or work friday work piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.