Prison Officer Jokes
12 prison officer jokes and hilarious prison officer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about prison officer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Prison Officer Short Jokes
Short prison officer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The prison officer humour may include short police officer jokes also.
- "It's really difficult, my partner is constantly in and out of prison." "Babe, that's a terrible way to tell people I'm a Corrections Officer."
- A police officer gets thee years in prison for Just kidding, police officers never get a full sentence.
- You might be a r**... if a police officer pulls you over to ask for your driver's license and your address is the county jail.
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Delightful Fun Prison Officer Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about prison officer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean parole officer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make prison officer pranks.
A woman visits her husband in prison
Before leaving, she tells a correction officer:
"You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"
The officer laughs, saying:
"Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his own cell!"
"b**...! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!"
A blonde woman visits her husband in prison.
Before leaving, she tells a correction officer: You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!
The officer laughs and says, Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!
The wife replies: Bullsht! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!
A traffic cop in a small town stopped a motorist for speeding.
"but Officer," said the driver, "I can explain-"
Save your excuses," said the cop. "You can cool your heels in jail till the chief gets back."
"But Officer..."
"Quiet!" snapped the cop. "You're going to jail the chief will deal with you when he gets back."
A few hours later the officer looks in at the prisoner. "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. It means he'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," said the prisoner. "I'm the groom."
A Ukrainian prisoner of war is being interrogated by a Russian officer.
During their conversation, the Ukrainian notices that the Officer has only one boot.
He asks, Did you lose a boot?
The Russian replies Nyet. I found a boot
A man faced execution by firing squad and was asked by the officer in charge if he had any last words...
Safely behind his men, the officer shouted, "SQUAD! PREPARE TO FIRE ON MY MARK! I WILL COUNT DOWN AND GIVE THE ORDER TO FIRE! PRISONER, DO YOU HAVE ANY FINAL WORDS? THREE!"
The prisoner said, "Yes sir, I do."
The officer shouted, "WHAT ARE THEY? TWO!
The prisoner shouted "ABOUT..... FACE!"
The officer shouted "FIRE!"
Three year old goes to prison.
A police officer was investigating a noise complaint coming from a daycare in downtown Detroit. The officer realized that it was just a three year old kid k**... and screaming because he didn't want to nap during nap time. The officer charged the child with resisting a rest, and took him to prison.
Brown Pants
During the French and Indian Wars in North America, the French captured a British Officer during an engagement. Later that evening the French officers gathered and dined with the new captive.
After dinner the French commander asked their prisoner Sir, we have been wondering why British officers wear a red coat, as it makes you an obvious target for our sharpshooters . The British officer replied We wear it so that if we are wounded, the sight of our blood does not panic our men .
Ever since that day, French Officers have worn brown pants.
Speeder
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But, officer" the man began "I can explain"
"Just be quiet" snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say"
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
Prisoners actually have a lot in common with Presidents...
They're both fed and housed by tax payers, surrounded by armed guards 24/7, neither can leave the gates without attracting attention, and both are often hated by the general public. It seems to me that the only difference between them is that we often catch the criminal that's responsible, but we keep putting the wrong guy in office.