Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Prison? Well here is a complete list of the top prison jokes:
Which is nice because we might finally get to see a mumble rapper completing a sentence
Cause you know he is actually guilty.
👍🏼That priest is in prison now.
👍🏼But when I got out of prison, it was totally worth it
👍🏼It's just heartbreaking knowing he will never finish his sentence.
👍🏼
And three years later, that priest went to prison.
But to others, it's a whole sentence
And three years later, that priest went to prison.
👍🏼Before leaving, she tells a correction officer:
"You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"
The officer laughs, saying:
"Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his own cell!"
"Bullshit! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!"
I fucking hate prison.
👍🏼They ask each other why they are in prison.
The first says 'I was always 5 minutes late for work, so I was accused of sabotage'
The second says 'I was always 5 minutes early for work, so I was accused of espionage'
But the third says 'I was always on time for work, so I was accused of having a Western watch'
unless you hear them in a Mexican prison
👍🏼A good thing to hear in church but a terrifying thing to hear in a mexican prison.
👍🏼"Certainly, Sir," I replied. "Are you eating in or taking out?"
"Fuck off you cunt," he snapped, before walking off with his food.
I love working in the prison canteen.
On my first day in prison I was taking a shower when I noticed a bar of Dove lying on the floor.
Some big black guy said, "Hey, where's the soap?"
I said, "I'll be fucked if I know."
A small medium at large.
👍🏼It's slippery, dangerous and one of the worst things about prison.
👍🏼Because you write on walls and people you don't know poke you.
👍🏼Man I hate prison
👍🏼A small medium at large.
👍🏼He was charged with possession.
👍🏼What's the difference between sanctuary and prison?
Toilet paper.
"Small medium at large"
👍🏼Great words to hear in church, not so great to hear in a Mexican prison.
👍🏼He came out a wide receiver
👍🏼RRRrrrrrrrrrrrape!
👍🏼A small medium at large
👍🏼Turns out I wasn't authorised, as I'm not a dad.
But don't worry, I'll be seeking a pa-role.
Now I can't escape.
👍🏼He walks into his cell for the first time. His cellmate is a big black guy. The first thing his celly says to him is: "You wanna be the husband or the wife?'' To which he replies "Uhhh...The husband?"
"Good, now get over here and suck yo' wife's dick."
He's taken in front of a judge, who orders the prisoner to explain his actions. The prisoner says "Well your honor, the first day, they gave me a comb, then shaved off all my hair. The second day, they gave me a tooth brush, then pulled out all my teeth. The third day, they gave me a jock strap, I went over the wall". "Case dismissed" declares the judge
👍🏼'cause if I was your dad I'd be in prison.
👍🏼Yes, we have a small medium at large.
👍🏼A horrific thing to hear in a Méxican prison.
👍🏼A young psychic dwarf escapes from prison.
The newspaper headline the next day:
"Small Medium at Large".
4 men in a prison cell, a rapist, murderer, psycho and finally a gay man.
Rapist says, "If there was a cat in here I'd fuck it till it dies!'
The murderer replies, "Once you were done I'd torture it further!"
The psycho pipes in, "Oh yeah?, once your were done I'd fuck it till I die!"
The gay man in the corner listening in, very softly says, "Meow"
I titled the course: "Prose and Cons".
👍🏼He got prison for caching false Czechs.
👍🏼"I'll be right there, just hang on for a minute."
👍🏼"Jesus loves you!"
A lovely thing to hear in church. Not so much in a Mexican prison.
The headline read "Small medium at large."
👍🏼A small medium at large.
👍🏼It is a blessing to hear "Jesus loves you." In an American prison, but in a Mexican prison... Oh boy.
👍🏼A small medium at large.
👍🏼Police are looking for the escapea.
👍🏼Yesterday, I failed my biology exam.
The question was: "Name something commonly found in cells."
Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.
He was charged with battery.
. . .
Did you hear about the mind reading midget that escaped from prison? The papers said small medium at large.
👍🏼...on your front step? Matt
...in a pot? Stu
...in a pan? Fry
...floating in the ocean? Bob
...bouncing on the highway? Skip
...hanging on a wall? Art
...that's been harpooned? Pierce
...lying face down in prison? Fucked
upon arriving his biggest fear is being someone's bitch. he gets to his cell and his cellmate tells him I only have two rules. The first is I get the bottom bunk. The man immediately agrees hoping to avoid any confrontation. "The second rule is I like to play house to right now you have to decide if you want to be the husband or the wife?" The man quickly responds husband. Well then get over here and suck your wife's dick.
👍🏼You've red some of the best prison jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about prison. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty prison gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !
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