Following is our collection of funny Prison Guard jokes. There are some prison guard prison guards jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these prison guard life imprisonment puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Guard: I'm not mad, just........disappointed.
Remember, kids, never let your guard down.
Dad: That's a very low goal. Have some ambition
Child: How about being a doctor?
Dad: That's right!
Child: Or a teacher, a prison guard, a gym trainer....
Dad: HAVE YOU BEEN USING MY COMPUTER?
A male prisoner promised a female guard that he would marry her if she helped him escape. This is an example of someone using a proposition to end a sentence with.
To prevent further breakouts.
Surely we don't need that many guards.
The first prisoner replies, "I was blowing bubbles in the park."
The second replies "I was also blowing bubbles in the park."
When the guard gets to the third prisoner he says "let me guess, you were blowing bubbles in the park."
Then the third prisoner replies "no, im bubbles."
She replies, "I don't know, what do you want to eat?"
None, he fell.
Guard: what do you want for your last meal?
Woman prisoner: I don't know, what do you want?
So a prisoner is about to be executed and the guards ask him,
What do you want your last meal to be?
Strawberries he responds.
But it's winter. We can't get strawberries until spring
Eh. I'll wait
Prisoner: You can't make me. You don't run this cell.
Guard: *rips mask off to reveal mitochondria*
Actually, I do
You can explore prison guard guards reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean prison guard correctional facility dad jokes. There are also prison guard puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Last fence they have to jump has bells on it. First guy jumps, touches the wires and the bells ring.
They guard says:- Who goes there?
The guy makes a noise:-Meow!
Guard says: -oh, its just a cat.
Second guy jumps, hits the wires, bells ring.
Guard says: -Who goes there?
Second guy:-Just another cat.
None, he fell.
In other news, Prince Andrew has just suffered a heart attack, Bill Clinton has suddenly developed Alzheimer's, and all prison guards at Maxwell's detention centre have suddenly had to take long naps...
Current Turkish gallows humour: A prisoner goes to the prison library, asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author." From Moshik_Temkin on Twitter
"I'll be right there, just hang on for a minute."
A prisoner goes to the warden and asks for a book. The guard makes a phone call then says:
We don't have the book but we have the author across the hall.
The prisoner was a little person who climbed the fence and as he was going down the other side he laughed at the guard. The guard watched in disbelief thinking, "Now that is a little con-decending."
Warden Ramsay
Shanks for nothing.
~
What did the prison guards say when they couldn't find the weapon used?
Shanks but no shanks.
They hide under a tarp on a work truck. The security guard is checking the tarp at the gate. He pokes his rifle at the brunette and she goes "meow, meow". He pokes his rifle at the red head and she goes "woof, woof". He pokes his rifle at the blonde and she goes "potato, potato".
If a white guy is surrounded by 3 black guys, he's getting robbed. 30 black guys, he's a football coach. 300 black guys he's a prison guard.
but none of them satisfied my desire to work with animals quite like being a teacher
A prisoner goes to the prison library, and asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author."
Shiv 'er.
and saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down from the concrete wall, screaming insults at the guards.
I thought, "Well, thats a little condescending little con descending"
Hey mom, bad news, I'm in for life.
Shut up Frank you're a prison guard.
Let MEOOWWWWTTTT!!!!
The guards see the sacks moving and sends over a soldier to poke each one of them with his gun.The guard pokes the first one and the brunette says "woof" and the guard goes "Oh it's just a dog" he pokes the second one and the redhead goes "meow" and the guard says "it's just a cat". He then pokes the third and the blonde goes "potatoes".
Apparently they like to lock up.
They're both fed and housed by tax payers, surrounded by armed guards 24/7, neither can leave the gates without attracting attention, and both are often hated by the general public. It seems to me that the only difference between them is that we often catch the criminal that's responsible, but we keep putting the wrong guy in office.
Two prisoners were escaping down a ladder. While the seasoned prisoner at the top watched for guards, the new prisoner went down the ladder first and slowly. Once the ladder was clear, the seasoned prisoner slid down in just three seconds, then he scolded the new prisoner for being so slow. The new prisoner replied, "Well, look at mister con descending here."
Why does it matter? Everyone knows the prison system can't change anything.
One interacts with felons, half of which are probably innocent of crimes, and the other works on Capitol Hill.
I used to pass a lot of bad Czechs.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the prison guard life sentences jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working prison guard maximum security piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.