Prison Escape Jokes
105 prison escape jokes and hilarious prison escape puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about prison escape that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Prison Escape Short Jokes
Short prison escape jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The prison escape humour may include short escape from prison jokes also.
- Prisoner: I'm sorry I tried to escape. Guard: I'm not mad, just........disappointed.
Remember, kids, never let your guard down. - Why did all the prisoners at the AT&T jail escape? Because they had no bars on their cells!
- I just drove past a prison and noticed a short fella escaping by sliding down a rope hung from the prison wall... I thought, that's a little condescending.
- A psychic midget has escaped from prison.. Police are looking for a small medium at large.
- What do you call a 5' 2" fortune teller that has escaped from prison? A small medium at large
- A 3 foot tall psychic escapes prison, then he gets a look at the newspaper "Small medium at large"
- What happens when a psychic Little Person escapes from prison? We've got a small medium at large.
- Did you hear about the psychic dwarf that escaped prison? News headlines say "Small medium at large".
- I was playing a prison simulator when the batteries in my keyboard died. Now I can't escape.
- I was visiting a midget prison today... As I was leaving, I saw a little person climbing over a prison wall to escape. He turned and gave me a dirty look, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'.
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Prison Escape One Liners
Which prison escape one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with prison escape? I can suggest the ones about escape from jail and great escape.
- A psychic dwarf escaped from prison There's a small medium at large.
- How did the nucleus escape from prison? Through the cell wall
- What do you call a 3ft tall psychic who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
- What do you get when a short psychic escapes prison? A small medium at large!
- What do you call a psychic dwarf escaping prison? An small medium at large!
- What do you call a dwarf with ESP who escapes from prison? A Small Medium at Large
- What would u call a clairvoyant midget who escaped prison? A small medium at large.
- You think you can escape Stalin's prison camps? Hah, gulag with that.
- A psychic who has dwarfism escaped from prison yesterday. He's a small medium at large.
- A prison van and a cement truck collided Several hardened criminals escaped
- Today I saw a midget escaping from prison with a ladder. He was a little condescending.
- What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
- What's Brown and Black and looks good on an escaped prisoner A German Shepherd
- What does the prisoner press on the computer The escape button
- A midget fortune-teller who escapes prison Is a small medium at large.
Prison Escape Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about prison escape you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean prison break jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make prison escape pranks.
Three women (redhead, blondie and an asian) have just escaped a prison, and the cops are looking for them...
The girls were running trough the city and went into one of those fruit/ vegetables' market to hide, and find 3 bag of potatoes big enough for them to hide inside.
After a while, one cop that is looking for them finds the bags, and realize that they're kind of weird... So he approaches and kicks the first potatoe's bag, with the asian girl inside...
The asian girl, quickly respond the kick with barking noises: ruff ruff
"Oh... These are just a few dogs!", says the cop.
He then approaches to the second potatoe's bag, with the redhead inside, and kicks it as well.
"Meow... Meow", the redhead answers.
"Oh... These are just a few cats!", says the cop.
Finally, he gets close to the third potatoe's bag, with the blondie inside, and kicks it too.
The voice inside the bags respond:
"Potatoes".
So there's a brunette a redhead and a blonde who are trying to escape from a prison. The guards are onto to them, so they all hide in sacks....
The guards see the sacks moving and sends over a soldier to poke each one of them with his gun.The guard pokes the first one and the brunette says "woof" and the guard goes "Oh it's just a dog" he pokes the second one and the redhead goes "meow" and the guard says "it's just a cat". He then pokes the third and the blonde goes "potatoes".
Short armed and dangerous.
Did you hear about the mind reading midget that escaped from prison? The papers said small medium at large.
Prisoners attempt to escape from jail.
The first one throws a rope to the top of the fence, and quietly climbs to the top. But before his cellmate can do the same, the rope breaks.
"How will I get out now?" The unfortunate prisoner asks. The other one pulls out a flashlight.
"Don't worry," he replied, "I'll shine the light down and you can climb up the beam of light."
"Do you really think I'm that s**...?" He asked, "You'll turn it off when I'm halfway to the top!"
A man is sentenced to 15 years in prison, but escapes after only 3 days
He's taken in front of a judge, who orders the prisoner to explain his actions. The prisoner says "Well your honor, the first day, they gave me a comb, then s**... off all my hair. The second day, they gave me a tooth brush, then pulled out all my teeth. The third day, they gave me a jock strap, I went over the wall". "Case dismissed" declares the judge
The bride asks her husband
The bride asks her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a v**... and I don't know
anything about s**.... Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
A guy escape from prision
A man escapes from prison, where he sat for the last 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns.
However, the only thing he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. Then he ties the young woman on the bed, comes on top of her and kisses her on her neck. Then he gets up and goes to the bathroom.
While he is there, the husband whispers to his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes. He probably long in jail and all those years not seen a woman. I saw how he kissed you on your neck. If he wants s**..., do not go against him, do not complain and make him happy. He is dangerous and if he gets angry, he'll kill us both! Be strong honey, I love you!
"The young woman replied:" He kissed me on my neck. He whispered in my ear. He told me he was gay, that he really liked you and asked if there was some Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong honey, I love you ... "
A midget fortune teller escaped from prison...
We got a small medium at large here, folks.
That's some solid advice!
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen this guy's an escaped convict - look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jailand hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s**..., don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too.
What do you call a little person who can talk to ghosts and just escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
A dwarf, that happens to be a mystic, escapes from prison.
The call went out that there was a small medium at large.
firing squad
Three prisoners, an American, a German, and a p**..., are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the American and stand him in front of the pole. He points and shouts, "Tornado!" They all look and the American runs away. Next, they place the German in front of the firing squad. He yells "Earthquake!" They all hit the dust and the German escapes. Next up is the p**.... He looks around and shouts "Fire!"
I was driving past the prison the other day...
with a friend of mine. All of a sudden he starts shouting and pointing, 'LOOK! There's a midget escaping! He's gone over the wall and is climbing down!'
I slammed on my brakes and said, 'woah, hang on. You can't say midget - it's a little con-descending.'
My Grandfather's Favorite Joke [word play]
A male prisoner promised a female guard that he would marry her if she helped him escape. This is an example of someone using a proposition to end a sentence with.
Did you see the headline about the 5 foot tall psychic that escaped from prison?
It was:
"Small medium at large"
A midget was escaping prison...
A midget was escaping prison. I watched him as he climbed over the fence. On the way down he smirked at me.
I thought to myself, "well that's a little condescending".
An escaped prisoner enters a house...
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s**..., don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"
Police are on the lookout for a magician dwarf who escaped prison.
They're looking for a small medium at large.
Did you hear about the prison escape?
Those guys found the convenience of Home Depot delivery really shaves time off a project.
What do you call a prisoner who's psychic,has dwarfism and escaped the prison?
A small medium at large!
How did the man escape from prison?
Well, he rubbed his hands to make them sore,
He used the saw to cut the table in half,
Two halves make a whole,
He jumped into the hole and got out,
Finally he shouted til his voice was hoarse then climbed on the horse and rode back home.
An old one my grandfather told before he died.
Fortune Teller
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large!
3 prisoners are to be executed by a firing squad
The first one thinking of ways to escape shouted "EARTHQUAKE!" which caused everyone to panic and allowed the prisoner to escape.
The second prisoner seeing what the first one did shouted "TORNADO!" which caused everyone to panic again and also allowed him to escape
The third prisoner, knowing what the others did, frantically shouted "FIRE!"
A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.
A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.
After being found guilty of massive tax fraud and sentenced to 30 years in prison, a world renowned clairvoyant used his short stature to escape and is currently on the run from authorities.
The headlines read 'Small Medium at Large'
A prisoner escaped..
And snuck inside a house nearby.
The prisoner found a young couple in bed and held them hostage, the woman was tied in a chair and the man was tied on the bed post.
The prisoner walked up to the woman and kissed her in the neck afterwards he went to the bathroom.
The man said to the woman "that guy is an escapee from the prison nearby, he's been in prison for such a long time that he's so thirsty for s**.... I can tell it from the way he kissed your neck. No matter what happens let him do whatever he wants or else he will kill us! Be strong honey, i love you!"
Then the woman replied..
"He didn't kiss me honey, he whispered to me that he thinks you're cute and asked me if we have some lubricant. I told him that we have some in the bathroom. Be strong honey, i love you!"
Have you heard about the psychic dwarf that escaped from prison last week?
You should see the headlines: "Small Medium at Large"
What do you call an Jihadi t**... who just escaped prison?
a free radical..
What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison to go to Death Valley to shoot up?
What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison to go to Death Valley to shoot up?
A high low small medium at large.
I saw a Dwarf who had escaped from prison climbing over a chain link fence. As he was climbing down the other side he scowled and stuck his tongue out at me and ran away...
I said to myself "That was a little condescending"
I saw a dwarf escaping prison yesterday, and as he was climbing down the outer fence he turned and sneered at me.
I thought to myself, that's a little condescending.
What did the police dispatcher say when a short psychic woman escaped from prison?
Calling all units, we have a small medium at large
This weekend a ghost whispering midget escaped from federal prison
Now there's a small medium at large
What do you call a little person who just escaped prison, and is running down a flight of stairs?
It's a little con-decending..
What do you call a vertically challenged person who's escaped from prison and can commune with the dead?
A small medium at large.
Did you hear about the tunnel the escaped prisoners dug under the jail?
It was a runaway success.
Two prisoners were escaping down a ladder...
Two prisoners were escaping down a ladder. While the seasoned prisoner at the top watched for guards, the new prisoner went down the ladder first and slowly. Once the ladder was clear, the seasoned prisoner slid down in just three seconds, then he scolded the new prisoner for being so slow. The new prisoner replied, "Well, look at mister con descending here."
Man in prison
After 12 years in prison, a man finally breaks out. When he gets home, filthy and exhausted, his wife says, Where have you been? You escaped eight hours ago!
While driving home I heard on the radio that convicts had escaped a prisoner transport after colliding with a concrete truck.
Authorities say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals.
I just saw a midget escaping from prison by climbing down the wall! Half way down, he turned his head and grimaced at me.
I thought: That's a little condescending.
Too guys trying to escape a prison
Last fence they have to jump has bells on it. First guy jumps, touches the wires and the bells ring.
They guard says:- Who goes there?
The guy makes a noise:-Meow!
Guard says: -oh, its just a cat.
Second guy jumps, hits the wires, bells ring.
Guard says: -Who goes there?
Second guy:-Just another cat.
I was walking past the prison last night
When I saw this short man, no more than 5 feet tall, dressed in an orange jumpsuit climbing over the fence, escaping from the prison yard. As he was climbing down, he saw me and stuck out his tongue at me. I remember thinking, That's a little condescending.
News break: A fortune telling midget just escaped from prison, police are reporting to be on the lookout for a:
Small medium at large.
My uncle was caught having s**... with sheep at a petting zoo and he just escaped from prison.
Now he's on the lam
A psychic dwarf escapes a prison...
The Alerts tell the town to keep on the look out for a small medium at large.
Did you hear about that Dwarf psychic that just escaped from prison?
He's a small medium at large.
What do you call a clairvoyant dwarf who's just escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
It was very easy to escape from prison.
The WiFi was so bad that there were zero bars on my cell.
A prison guard is trying to catch someone escaping
The prisoner was a little person who climbed the fence and as he was going down the other side he laughed at the guard. The guard watched in disbelief thinking, "Now that is a little con-decending."
A clairvoyant dwarf escaped from prison...
please be on the lookout for a small medium at large.
So three women escape from a prison, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head.
They hide under a tarp on a work truck. The security guard is checking the tarp at the gate. He pokes his rifle at the brunette and she goes "meow, meow". He pokes his rifle at the red head and she goes "woof, woof". He pokes his rifle at the blonde and she goes "potato, potato".
It's nice to see that celebrities have taken up book writing during the pandemic
One Direction by Kanye West
Guitars by Mel Gibson
Mining by Brad Pitt
Pear Cider by Katy Perry
Ship Building by Tom Cruise
How to Move Things by Jim Carrey
Escape from Prison by Morgan Freeman
American Motors by Harrison Ford
Wild Animals by Will Ferrell
A midget who went to prison for scamming people with his so-called psychic readings escaped.
Small medium at large.
Prisoner
The prisoner cried, "I'm sorry I tried to escape!"
The guard responded, "I'm not mad, just disappointed."
Remember kids, never let your guard down.
Any of you heard about the midget phycic that escaped from prison
He's a small medium at large
Has anyone caught the dwarf psychic that escaped from prison?
Come on guys, there's a small medium at large!
A dwarf who can talk to ghosts escaped from prison.
The police alert said There's a small medium at large.
A prisoner has been digging up a tunnel under his cell for years
One day he while he was digging he saw the light, he reached the end of tunnel and ended up in a kindergarten playground
"I'm free, I'm free!" shouted the escaped prisoner
"so what? I'm four" said one of the toddlers
A prisoner spent a month digging an escape tunnel and finally came out in the playground of a preschool.
He jumped around with excitement yelling "I'm free, I'm free". A small girl looked up at him and said, "Big b**... deal, I'm four".