The Best 64 Priso Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Priso jokes. There are some priso prisons jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these priso slammer puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Priso Jokes and Puns

Prison may be just one word

But to others, it's a whole sentence

What did the prison guard say when Epstein cried for help?

"I'll be right there, just hang on for a minute."

Prisoners attempt to escape from jail.

The first one throws a rope to the top of the fence, and quietly climbs to the top. But before his cellmate can do the same, the rope breaks.

"How will I get out now?" The unfortunate prisoner asks. The other one pulls out a flashlight.

"Don't worry," he replied, "I'll shine the light down and you can climb up the beam of light."

"Do you really think I'm that stupid?" He asked, "You'll turn it off when I'm halfway to the top!"

Priso joke, Prisoners attempt to escape from jail.

You know what they say about prison...

You go in a tight end and come out a wide receiver

A prison guard asked three prisoners how they got in jail...

The first prisoner replies, "I was blowing bubbles in the park."
The second replies "I was also blowing bubbles in the park."
When the guard gets to the third prisoner he says "let me guess, you were blowing bubbles in the park."
Then the third prisoner replies "no, im bubbles."


Why did all the prisoners at the AT&T jail escape?

Because they had no bars on their cells!

What would a prisoner say to you if you left them on an island for fifty years?

G'day mate!

Priso joke, What would a prisoner say to you if you left them on an island for fifty years?

Why do prison guards use Proactive?

To prevent further breakouts.

Why did the prisoners switch to liquid soap in the shower?

Because it's harder to pick up.

What does prison have in common with biology?

Cell culture.

Being old is like being in prison...

It hurts to bend over.

You can explore priso asks reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean priso lawyer dad jokes. There are also priso puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


So a prisoner took his own mug shot...

He called it his "cellfie".

Why was the prison poetry slam cancelled?

There were more cons than prose

My prison name

If I ever went to prison, my prison name would be The Mitochondria, because I'll be the powerhouse of the cells.

3 prisoners are to be executed by a firing squad

The first one thinking of ways to escape shouted "EARTHQUAKE!" which caused everyone to panic and allowed the prisoner to escape.
The second prisoner seeing what the first one did shouted "TORNADO!" which caused everyone to panic again and also allowed him to escape
The third prisoner, knowing what the others did, frantically shouted "FIRE!"

My prison cell-mate just asked me if I was tight.

Why does he care about how I spend my money?

Priso joke, My prison cell-mate just asked me if I was tight.

During a prison break, I saw a midget climb the fence of the prison yard. As he jumped down, he sneered at me...

I thought to myself, "well, that was a little con-descending."

A prisoner escaped..

And snuck inside a house nearby.

The prisoner found a young couple in bed and held them hostage, the woman was tied in a chair and the man was tied on the bed post.

The prisoner walked up to the woman and kissed her in the neck afterwards he went to the bathroom.

The man said to the woman "that guy is an escapee from the prison nearby, he's been in prison for such a long time that he's so thirsty for sex. I can tell it from the way he kissed your neck. No matter what happens let him do whatever he wants or else he will kill us! Be strong honey, i love you!"

Then the woman replied..

"He didn't kiss me honey, he whispered to me that he thinks you're cute and asked me if we have some lubricant. I told him that we have some in the bathroom. Be strong honey, i love you!"

I got a prison tattoo of mitochondria

Now I truly am the powerhouse of the cell


How is prison like quidditch?

The game ends when they catch the snitch

Two prisoners were waiting to be executed.

"Any last requests?" asked the jailer.

"Yes," replied one of the prisoners. "I love music, so before I die could you play 'Never gonna give you up' by Rick Astley."

And the second prisoner said: "Kill me first."

A prisoner was told how he'll be executed

Needless to say, he was shocked.

How do prisoners call each other?

On their cell phones!

Prison sex...

It's con-sensual.

What do prison and the shift key have in common

they both turn your "o" into an "O"

So a prison break was happening...

And I happened to be walking around when it happened. It had a huge wall, and I saw someone climbing down from it. Turns out I knew the guy, he's a famous midget con artist that I ratted out. As he climbed down, he gave me this wretched look.

It was a little condescending.

Why do women's prisons give out tampons on release day?

Because all sentences should end with a period.

Why do prisoners prefer liquid soap?

Takes longer to pick up

If prisoners could take their own mugshots...

They'd be called CELLFIES

I'll see myself out.

What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common?

They both turn o into an O .

I've been in prison for only 5 minutes, and I've already been raped.

I hate playing monopoly with my dad

A prisoner spends years digging a tunnel out of jail ...

He comes up inside a preschool yard. He starts jumping up and down and screaming "I'm free!! I'm free!!"

A little kid tugs on his pants. The prisoner looks down and the kid says nonchalantly: "So what? I'm four."

Prisons nationwide have integrated the Hokey-Pokey into their physical education program.

They think it will help the inmates turn their lives around.

A prison van and a cement truck collided

Several hardened criminals escaped

If I ever go to prison, I'm gonna change my name to mitochondria...

I want everyone to know I'm the powerhouse of the cell.

Which prison has the best food?

Australia.

Why are prisons banned from using Comcast Xfinity?

Because then their cells would have no bars.

I saw an ad for a prison. Apparently they have the safest gym in the country.

There's an Olympic sports doctor there 24/7.

Prisoner: I'm sorry I tried to escape.

Guard: I'm not mad, just........disappointed.

Remember, kids, never let your guard down.

A prison van crashed into a cement mixer this morning...

Police are currently on the lookout for half a dozen hardened criminals.

I'd rather be in Prison than Married

there's more sex in prison, and it usually isn't a life sentence

You won't go to prison for punching a tortilla...

But you might get a wrap on the knuckles.

How many prison guards does it take to throw an inmate down a flight of stairs?

None, he fell.

Prisoners are telling jokes

and because they heard all jokes a lot of times, they only say number of certain joke.
"Number 256" says first inmate as the rest of them laughs.
"Number 145" says second one as the rest bursts in laughs.
"Number 323" ,and while all laughs and and get ready to hear the next,one one guy is laughing a lot longer then rest.
Everyone is looking at him when someone ask him why he laughs so much.
He replies:"It's the first time i heard this one ".

Two prisoners are on death row

And the day of their execution has come.

The warden turns the first prisoner and asks, "Any last requests?"

"I'd really like to hear the Macarena one last time," he replies.

The warden nods. "Very well. And you?"
he asks the second prisoner.

"Kill me first."

After being sent to prison, I quickly earned the nickname "Mitochondria."

I was the powerhouse of the cell.

If prisoners were allowed to take their own mugshots

they would be called, cellfies.

Why are prisoners not allowed to have email?

Don't want to risk someone attaching a file.

A prison guard is trying to catch someone escaping

The prisoner was a little person who climbed the fence and as he was going down the other side he laughed at the guard. The guard watched in disbelief thinking, "Now that is a little con-decending."

Why can't prisoners get laid?

Because they're in cells.

A prisoner called Andrea wants to prove her strength...

So she starts a weightlifting competition and wins! Turns out the powerhouse of the cell is the might of con 'Drea.

A prisoner slipped on the stairs 5 years into his 14 year sentence.

He suffered some minor injuries but he decided to pretend to be in a coma for rest of his sentence.

When he finally decided to drop the act on the last day of his sentence, the warden arrested him again, because you aren't supposed to end a sentence with a coma.

How many prison guards does it take to push an inmate down the stairs?

None, he fell.

Two prisoners are talking in a Soviet gulag...

One says: "We're really cut off from the news here. For instance, I never found out the result of the Fischer-Spassky chess match."
The other one replies: "Oh, I lost."

A prison mystery

\- Why were you sent to prison?

\- Bribery.

\- And how did you get out after just a month?

\- What do you think?

Prisoner

The prisoner cried, "I'm sorry I tried to escape!"

The guard responded, "I'm not mad, just disappointed."

Remember kids, never let your guard down.

In Prison Why is The White Guy Scarier Than The Black Guy?

Because the White Guy did it

Prison is just one word to some people...

But to others, it's a complete sentence.

A prisoner digs a hole out of jail....

.... and ends up in a toddler playground
and yells "I'm free! I'm free!"
and a kids walks up and says "So big deal, I'm four!"

My prison nickname was Mitochondria

Because I was the Powerhouse of the cell.

A prisoner got killed by words

He got a death sentence.

Why prisoners hate women?

Because they're in cells.

Why didn't the prisoner stop talking?

Because he had a really long sentence.

I went to prison in Stockholm.

I fell in love with the place and just couldn't leave.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the priso pile jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working priso books piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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