The Best 47 Print Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Print jokes. There are some print sizes jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these print leopard print puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Print Jokes and Puns
I made this up today. How do you print something when you've really got to go to the toilet?
You ctrl p.
Saw a billboard in Rhode Island.
"doesn't matter" . It was supposed to say "size doesn't matter" but the print was to big.
I've got a 3D printer
But it only prints pieces of paper.
Hans meets an art dealer on vacation
A German man is on vacation in Spain. He sees a local man selling artwork, so he goes over and checks out his wares. He notices a print of Picasso's Guernica on an easel. The German asks did you do this? , to which the Spaniard replied, nope. you did.
Why did the printer have wet ink?
Because it couldn't control P
In a touching tribute to Joan Rivers, Target today announced that it would print funny little anecdotes on all of their shopping bags.
Just so plastic can make us laugh one more time.
Printer jam
Why couldn't the incontinent person print?
They couldn't Ctrl-P
Why couldn't the surgeon 3D print a new pair of lungs?
He ran out of tissue paper.
Why are old printers so musical?
Because they are prone to jamming.
Rules for wearing animal print yoga pants:
1. Weigh less than the animals they represent
2.
3.
Why couldn't the incontinent man print his documents?
He couldn't Ctrl+P
You can explore print ctrl reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean print file dad jokes. There are also print puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Do you know why newspapers don't print the pictures of all criminals?
They would run out of black ink
How to make your wife take care while driving?
Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.
Looks like the UK didn't read the fine print when cutting off ties with the EU...
You Brexit, you bought it.
An old Jewish man dies.
His last wish to his son is to print an obituary. The son goes to newspaper office and asks how much they charge for an obituary. They tell him $5 per word.
He says then print "Solomon dead". The newspaper tell him they require minimum 5 words. He thinks for a moment and says, then make it "Solomon dead, wheelchair for sale".
My HP printer died today
It was like a Brother to me.
Why did the printer go to the gym?
To get toner.
Why can't you print money on shuttlecocks?
That's badminton
A guy was just sacked from the local print shop for always aligning their text to the left margin
I think it's justified.
My Doctors surgery called me today to tell me that the print out I received stating I have Blood Type A was incorrect.
They say it was a Type O
Why is the printer making so many noises?
Because the papers are jamming
My grandpa asked me how to print a document on his new computer.
I said, Control, P.
He replied: "I haven't been able to do that for years!"
Why did the printer start playing music?
There was a paper jam
Article on the future of L.A. rapper "Post Malone" was withdrawn from print by local mail service.
Or;
Post on post-Post Malone's career and goals was postponed from posting by postal service.
I was caught masturbating in the library over the small print of laws and local regulations....
.....I got off on a technicality
I 3D printed a tree branch today
It's PLA stick
The police chief asked, "Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case?" The officer responded, "I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress." The chief frowned and said...
"Please, just wear your police uniform."
My grandad asked me how to print on his computer...
I told him it's Ctrl-P. He says he hasn't been able to do that for ages.
Boss: If I knew your writing was so small I'd never have hired you
Me: Well it was on my resume, you should have read the small print
In Norway they print barcodes on the sides of their battleships.
When they return from war they can Scandinavian.
Why does Donald Trump print his emails?
He's never been keen on fax
What did the printer say when it ran out of paper?
Oh sheet
My printer just told me it was joining a band
Which makes sense.
It loves to jam.
Waiter! Why does my dessert have a shoe print in it?
Sir, you did say "Apple pie and step on it!"
A man walked into a copy shop, and requested that they print a book for him with pages 30 feet long and 1 foot wide.
Printer: "Why do you need pages that long?"
Man: "Well, it's a long story."
Grandpa asked me how to print on his new computer.
I said: "Just control-p."
He said: "I haven't been able to do that for years!"
My friend claims he can print a Gun using his 3D Printer. I'm not impressed.
I've had a Canon printer for years.
My printer died last night under suspicious circumstances.
Epson didn't kill itself.
A soldier's wife has just returned from her insurance provider and is looking very, very unhappy
"What's the matter?" Her friend asked.
"I went to get my husband covered privately, but the fine print stated: no payouts when the holder dies as a result of an explosion and/or from injuries sustained in an explosion," she replied.
"Oh? So why would that make you unhappy?" Her friend asked.
"Well, it's too late to stop the freaking timer now!"
A man's printer started printing more and more faintly, so he called a local repair shop.
A friendly young man informed him, Well, you could bring it in for a cleaning, but we charge $50 for that, so you might be better off just reading the manual and trying the job yourself.
Pleasantly surprised by this candor, the man said, Thanks, son. Does your boss know that you discourage business?
Actually, it was my boss's idea, said the young employee. He says that if we let people try to fix things themselves first, we end up making even more money!
A guy calls Newspaper office to print death news of his Grandpa.
Clerk: $50 per word…
Guy: Grandpa Dead
Clerk: Sorry Sir, Minimum 5 words required…
Guy: Grandpa Dead, Wheelchair for Sale
What printers do they use on board the Enterprise?
Hewlett Pickards
If you were a font, you'd be extra fine print
Because you're hard to read
I think Unilever should print little government conspiracies on their cotton swabs.
They could call them Q tips
3-D printers
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I'm pretty excited," the guy tells the bartender. "I just got one of those 3D printers. They say I can even make a gun on it." "Ha, I'm not impressed," the bartender scoffs. "I've had a canon printer for years."
I got an all out groan on this one
My son turned 18 and moved out. We turned his room into a home school classroom for my daughters. My wife moved her printer in there and needed to print something a little while later.
Wife- "my phone can't find the printer"
Me- "did you tell it that it moved"
Why did Joe get fired from the print shop that made calendars?
He took a couple of days off.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the print unix jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working print paper piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.