Principal Jokes
112 principal jokes and hilarious principal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about principal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is about jokes involving principals. If you're looking for a good laugh, then read on!
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Funniest Principal Short Jokes
Short principal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The principal humour may include short prime jokes also.
- The principal at my school called me in to his office today. He said "I've just had a rock thrown through my window, are you responsible?" No, I'm irresponsible. That's why I threw it.
- So Trump is working with Putin on cybersecurity... In other news, the principal at my school is working with the boys to install a surveillance system to insure privacy in the girls' locker room.
- Son: Dad we have a small get-together at school tomorrow. Dad: What do you mean by small?
Son: Just you, me, and the principal. - Get together Son: Dad there's a small get together at school tomorrow !!!
Father: small get together.? ..how small
Son: only me...you...and principal - "Dad, there is a small get-together tomorrow at my school." "Small get-together? How small?"
"Just you and me... and the principal." - Principal: Sorry for calling you in, but your son set the school on fire. Parents: Arson?
Principal: Yes, your son. - Last year, 7th grade students were forced to clean the entire school. This year, the principal said, "Last year, the 7th grade student did the cleaning. This year, let the 8th grade students do it."
- I've accepted that my brother is never paying back that money I loaned him... I've lost interest, and I'm just giving up on the principal.
- Why did the boy look at each and every one of the animal crackers? Because his mother told him not to eat them if the "seal" was broken.
Credits to my school principal - My dad said this at his retirement... he is a former principal "I remember a time when Harass was two words.
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Principal One Liners
Which principal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with principal? I can suggest the ones about major and chief.
- What do you call a principal who gives good blow jobs? A headmaster.
- Why did the chicken go to the principal's office it used fowl language
- My principal doesn't allow guns in school... ...So i had to put on a long sleeve shirt
- Why was the clock sent to the principal's office? It was tocking too much.
- What do you get if you fist Gavrilo Princip? A Black Hand.
- My girlfriend isn't the principal of a school... But shes definitely a headmaster in bed.
- So i think my school is haunted The principal keeps talking about some school spirit
- Why did the chicken go to the principal's office? Because he had fowl languange.
- Yo' mama got such bad dandruff, the principal declared a snow day!
- What do you call the libertarian head of a school? The non-aggression Principal.
- Why don't principals need principals? Because they already have principles
- I master' 'Bates william's principal
- What do my mortgage and Bayside High School have in common? An outstanding principal.
- Who is the meanest principal The a**...-sistent principal
School Principal Jokes
Here is a list of funny school principal jokes and even better school principal puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A group of vaping college students is called a smog. A group of vaping middle school students is called down to the principal's office.
- Where does the architecture school's principal send bad students? To the suspension bridge.
- The son told his mom: "I don't want to go to school today. The kids tease me, the teachers hate me." "But Michael, you must be in school. You're the principal!"
- True false tests Why did the school principal forbid the use of true/false tests? It was part of the school's anti Boolean campaign.
- a district administrator was offered a large bribe to fire some of the heads of his local schools but he stuck by his principals
- What did the Christan principal say when she kicked a student out of school? THE POWER OF CHRIST EXPELS YOU.
- In high school I got sent to the principal for making fun of the paraplegic kid. He asked if I would like to explain why I would do such a thing. I replied "It was just some armless teasing."
- Today the principal at my school incorrectly let go of our school's cherished relief teacher. Whoops, wrong sub
- Why did the headmaster at school never give my parrot a seat in physics class? Because he was named the Polly Exclusion Principal.
- What time is it when a Muslim immigrant brings a clock to school in Texas? Time to get a new principal.
Principal Teacher Jokes
Here is a list of funny principal teacher jokes and even better principal teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why was the hot teacher promoted to principal? Because she was the Headmaster!
My first submitted joke :) - What did the teacher do to the student who started World War I? She sent him to the PRINCIPals office
- What did the HS principal say when he accidentally got a math substitute to fill in for a chemistry teacher? Whoops, wrong sub.
- Teacher: I'm having trouble with one of my students. Principal: What's the problem?
Teacher: Not only is he the worst behaved child in class, he has a perfect attendance record - I had to have talk with the principal over my policy of giving no A's on my tests. "Mr. Smith, if you want to keep your job as the grammar teacher, you need to start teaching the ENTIRE alphabet."
- I walked in on the principal and teacher in a very compromising position. They were both married. Side note: I'm homeschooled.
- The gym teacher gets a handgun, the janitor gets a shot gun, and the principal gets an u**.... What do they arm the lunch lady with? A salt rifle
- My fifth grade teacher taught me how to smoke p**... and kiss. Best hire I've ever made as a school principal.
- Son: I don't want to go school, Ma! Son: All the teachers think I Am s**... and the kids hate me.
Mom: No! You should go, because you are the "Principal!" - "Mom, I don't want to go to school. Everyone bullies me and laughs at me, even the teachers" "God d**..., Seymour. You have to go. You're the principal!
Principal Office Jokes
Here is a list of funny principal office jokes and even better principal office puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There was this kid who loved the police and loved to show support; unfortunately they were sent to the principal's office. They were wearing a SWAT sticka.
- Why was Chewbacca sent to the principal's office? Cuz he was caught skipping class and playing wookie.........
(I'll see myself out now) - Got in a fight at school and was sent to the Principal's office... "You're fired." He tells me.
Cheerful Fun Principal Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about principal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean leading jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make principal pranks.
A middle school in Oregon
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and scrubbed the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
Lipstick Girls
A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2pm. They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean.
The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.
That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.
Waking up on a Monday morning...
On a Monday morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
"Wake up son. It's time to got to school!"
"But mom, I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why."
"Well, the kids hate me, and the teachers hate me too!"
"That's no reason. Come now get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go?"
"Well for one you are 52 years old. And for another, you're the principal!".
A teacher assigns her students to read a chapter of a book.
"Class, I want you to read chapter 31 of the book I assigned you. Understood?"
The entire class agreed. "Okay. Class is dismissed. Remember to read it."
Skip to the next day in the classroom. "Okay, so whoever read chapter 31, please stand up."
Every student stood up. "Now, all of you go to the principals office."
Every student is shocked and confused.
"Why, you ask? There isn't any chapter 31!".
A joke from Italy
Pierino returns home from school and he is very happy. He tells his dad "Hey Dad! did you know that today me and my friends placed a bomb in the school?
"Are you Crazy?" his dad responds. "You will be in a lot of trouble when i tell the principal what you did and he expels you when you go back to school tomorrow!"
Pierino: "School? What school?"
What did the inflatable principal say to the inflatable student who brought a pin to the inflatable school?
Not only have you let me down, you have also let the school down but mainly you have let yourself down.
2 Reasons Why I Should go to School
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
"Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"
Broken Promises
While my son was at the school yesterday he was acting up. The teacher called on him and asked, "Do you remember what you promised me?" The boy said, "Yes, that I wouldn't misbehave anymore." Then the teacher asked, "And do you remember what I promised you?" The boy responded, "Yes, that if I misbehaved again I'd be sent to the principals office, but since I broke my promise it's ok if you do too."
The phone rang in the principal's office...
Principal: "Hello?"
Caller: "Umm yes hi, my son won't be coming to school today because he's got the flu."
Principal: "OK and who may I ask is speaking?"
Caller: "Umm my dad."
Hanging in the hallway at a high school are...
...the basketball team pictures from the past decades. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year -- "92-93," "93-94," "94-95," etc.
One day the principal spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos.
Turning to the principal, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"
Offensive Joke: The principal of my daughter's elementary school wanted to talk me about her behavior.
Apparently she was making racist remarks towards the black kids in her class and insulting them.
I must say I am terrified and very disappointed, she isn't even allowed to talk to them.
Kiss The Mirror
A middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched. The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror. From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.
Why are stock traders so good at s**...?
Same principal, you gotta pull out at the right moment or it costs you.
It's the first day of high school...
...and the principal is giving an orientation to the freshmen class. He says "Welcome to high school! We have a few rules we must go over. First, men will use the men's locker room, and women will use the women's locker room. If anyone is caught in the other gender's locker room, it is a $20 dollar fine for a first offense, $30 for a second offense, $40 for a third, and so on. Any questions?"
A kid in the back stands up and asks "How much for a season pass?"
Mom: - "Get up Liam, you will be late for school."
- "But I don't wanna go, all the teachers and students hate me."
- "You have to go."
- "Give me one reason why I should go."
- "Your 35, and you're the principal."
Boy: "Isn't the principal a d**...!
Boy: "Isn't the principal a d**...!"
Girl: "Say, do you know who I am?"
Boy: "No."
Girl: "I'm the principal's daughter."
Boy: "And do you know who I am?"
Girl: "No,"
Boy: "Thank god!"
Kevin is woken up for school.
Kevin is woken up by his mother.
"Rise and shine, Kevin! Time to go to school!"
"But mom, I don't want to get up."
"No, you're getting up now, no excuses."
"Name me two good reasons for why I should get up now and go to school.."
"First of all: You're 54. And second of all, you're the principal!"
*Source: Hamburger Abendblatt issue #124*
Late for School
Mother: "Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for school."
Victor: "Mom, do I have to? All the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me, too."
Mother: "Yes, you do."
Victor: "Give me one good reason."
Mother: "Because you're 34 years old, and you're the principal."
I went to a High School pep rally....
The principal had announced earlier that day that he would make an inspirational speech for us. At the rally, he walked up to the microphone for his speech. But, all he did was look at the crowd, smiled, and stepped down.
We were left speechless.
Jimmy in the school..
One day Jimmy got home early from school and his mom asked, "Why are you home so early?" He answered, "Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class." She said, "Wow, my son is a genius. What was the question?" Jimmy replied, "The question was 'Who threw the trash can at the principal's head?'"
Today in class we were talking about s**....
The teacher asked us, "Ok class, does anybody know what the meaning of monotony is?"
I shouted out, "It's very boring!"
It was only in the principal's office that I realized she said monogamy.
**Based on a true story**
School Question
Mother: Why are you home from school so early?
Son: I was the only one who could answer a question.
Mother:Oh, really? What was the question?
Son: Who threw the eraser at the principal?
Do you know who i am?
Boy: Our principal is so s**....
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No
Girl: I'm the principal's daughter.
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No
Boy: Good (*walks away)
Once all the engineering professors were sitting on one plane...
Before the take off an announcement came over the fanboy.
"This plane is made by your students"
Then all professors stood up, ran and went outside, but the principal was sitting.
One professor came and asked "Are you not afraid?"
The principal replied " I trust my students very well and I am sure the plane won't even start"
Johnny said he doesn't want to go to school anymore.
His mother tried to persuade him to go to school.
"I don't want to," said Johnny, "every kids in school hates me."
"Honey, you have to go," said his mother, "you're the principal."
It was my first day at a new school.
When I arrived, I wanted to make sure nobody would pick on me so I walked up to the captain of the football team and punched him in the face. He fell to the ground, unconscious. From that day forward, everyone knew not to mess with the new principal.
Difference between Hypothetical and actual
So a young boy comes home from school and says, "dad, my teacher said my homework for the night is to find out the difference between hypothetical and actual."
His dad says, " well son, go ask your mother if she'd sleep with her boss for a million dollars. Then, go ask your sister if she'd sleep with her principal for a million dollars and come back, tell me what they said. "
So the young boy goes and asks both his mom and sister, comes back. "dad, they both said yes."
"Well son, that's your answer."
"But I don't get it", the boy says.
"Ya see, HYPOTHETICALLY we could be millionaires but, we're ACTUALLY living with a couple of w**...."
Donald Trump is visiting Queen Elizabeth.
Mr Trump turns to Queen Elizabeth and says "I want to be a King."
Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a kingdom."
Don says "What about a prince?"
Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a principality."
Don says "A duke then?"
Liz says "Ahh but you do not have a duchy."
Don asks "Well what can I be?"
Liz says "Well I think a country suits you well."
A teacher asked in a class full of blondes who killed Abraham Lincoln
A student said It wasn't me
Second blonde said I was absent yesterday
Another blonde I couldn't kill a fly and you ask me if I killed a human being
The teacher frustratingly left the classroom and head to the principal,whose happen to be blonde.
She heard the story and went to the class.
She left the classroom and asked the teacher are you sure the killer in this class?
The principal is so dumb a little boy says.
A girl next to him says do you know who I am?
No The boy says
I'm the principals daughter the girl replies
Do you know who I am? The boy asks
No the girl says, curious of who he could be.
Good. The boy says, and walks away.
Do You Know Who I Am?
BOY: Isn't our principal s**...?
GIRL: Hey, do you know who I am?
BOY: No, why should I?
GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter.
BOY: Do you know who I am?
GIRL: No.
BOY: Thank goodness
I need new pals. So I was at my locker before class with all the stuff I like in front of me, attached to yarn. "What're you doing?" asks the Principal. "Fishing for a new friend group. This is stuff Im into they may like." I said. "You cant leave this stuff laying here." He says. So I say "Why..."
It's just clique bate.
Trump meets the Queen
So Donald asks the Queen how you get to be king or a duke or other Royalty.
Queen:' Look Donald, an Emperor rules an Empire, a king rules a kingdom, a prince ruled a principality, a duke rules a duchy and so on'
Donald:' I rule the USA, what does that make me'
Queen: that's a country, that makes you a ....
I was a c**... little punk when I was younger
I remember one time, when I was 9 years old, getting called into the principal's office.
Your behavior is out of line, and getting worse & worse each day. Standards really are slipping."
"I'll do the talking he replied.
Today my son was sent home from school for receiving a hand-job from a girl in his class for the third time this year. Each time this has happened he has been given a stern talking to from the principal and had to change schools.
Tired of constantly moving around, I said to him "Son if this keeps happening
they are going to ban you from teaching altogether."
A teacher goes into the principals office and tells her that a student of his, Karen, wasn't doing any assignments and sat idle throughout the class.
The principal calls Karen into his office and before he has a chance to speak she says,"Why am i in trouble? I did nothing!"
In the morning, the mother wakes up the child "Come on, wake up, you know the quarantine is over and school starts again!"
"But, mom, why do I have to go? I hate school!"
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"One: all children hate me, two: all teachers hate me even more!"
"These are just excuses, get up once and for all!"
"But then YOU give me two reasons to go."
"One: you are 41 years old, two: you are the school principal!"
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *Walks away*
A freshman is talking to the new girl in school. You'll like it here, he tells her. Everyone is pretty chill, the teachers are all nice, but the principal is kind of a m**....
Do you know who I am? the girl asks her new classmate. I'm the daughter of the principal.
The boy is silent and then asks her, Do you know who I am?
She shakes her head no. Good, says the boy as he walks away.
Got an email from my Son's grade school today ...
Seems my little boy got sent to the Principal's office for giving his Teacher the finger.
The school staff still can't figure out who it belongs to and how he got it.
A man was sitting in the couch when his wife came in
The wife told him their son needs 200 dollars for school donation so he gave it to her.
Later that day his son hugged him and thanked him for the 50 he gave to school.
And few hours later the principal messaged him to thank him for the 10 dollars donation.
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"
Ivy League School Principal, Mr. Marquez, and Community College Principal, Mr. Davidson, were arguing that their respective students were the most fearless.
Ivy League school principal called his students and asked them to jump in sea full of sharks.
They jumped.
Principal said: See the guts…
Community College principal called his students and asked them to jump.
They said: "Have you completely lost your marbles, Mr. Davidson?"
Principal said: See the guts.
My kid got sent home from school one day.
They said he was catching bees and throwing them at other kids. So I sat him down and had a chat. I said, "Son, you can't be doing that, obviously it's not ok to throw bees at people, they could get stung and what happens if someone has an allergic reaction? How would you feel if that happened?" And he replied, " Well I know it doesn't sound safe, but my principal said I could do it and the teachers said I could do it. Infact both of you even said I could do it! You all said I can bee who I want to bee!
A student visits the principal's office one day
A student visits the principal's office one day and the principal says to him, What's your name, son? He replies: D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir. The principal looks up and asks him, Oh, do you have a stutter?
The student replies, No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was an a**....
A high school principal made an announcement at an assembly.
He said, "Boys and girls, the faculty have witnessed an alarming increase in public displays of affection, which are against school policy. Effective immediately, we will start issuing fines to those caught doing this. A first offense will be $5. A second offense will be $10. A third offense will be $20. So on and so forth."
Suddenly, a student in the crowd yelled, "How much for a season pass?"
Little girls first day at new school.The teacher asks her name.
The girl replies, "Happy b**...." The teacher is a little annoyed and asks again. The girl answers, "Happy b**...." The teacher wants to set an example on the first day and sends the girl to the principal's office.
The principle looks at the girl's file and says, "Why didn't you give your correct name? It says here your name is Gladys."
The girls says, "Glad a**..., happy b**...- what's the difference?"
Jimmy the genius son!
Jimmy got home early from school today and his mom asked: ***Why are you home so early***?
He replied: ***Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.***
She said: ***Wow, my son is a geniusssss!*** ***What was the question?***
Jimmy replied: The question was '***Who threw the trash can at the principal's head***?'
Male pupil: The principal of our school is s**....
Female pupil: Do you know who I am?
Male pupil: I don't know.
Female pupil: The principal's daughter.
Male pupil: Hey, do you know who I am?
Female pupil: I don't know.
Male pupil: That's good.
Jimmy, it's time to wake up.
I don't want to wake up.
You have to go to school.
I don't want to go to the school. All the teachers hate me. The students all hate me too.
But you must go!
Why must I go?
You're the principal.
So Putin decides to change Russia's Identity
He calls the Queen of Great Britain for advice.
Putin - "Queen Elizabeth, I'd like to have Russia be a Kingdom. I feel it would give it the gravitas it deserves"
The Queen - "But Vladimir, you need to have a king to be a Kingdom"
Putin - "Well what about a Principality then?"
The Queen - "No Vladimir, you need a prince to have a Principality"
Putin - "Then I'm at a loss, what should Russia be"
The Queen - "I think you are quite suited to be a Country, wouldn't you agree"
Mom: Wake up, son. It's time to go to school
Son: But why? Everyone in the school hates me
Mom: Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school
Son: Give me two good reasons why I should go to school?
MOM : One, you should understand your responsibilities.
Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.
A school principal arrives in his office when the phone rings.
"I'm afraid my daughter won't be in school today," says the voice on the other line. "She has a terrible cold."
"I'm sorry to hear this," says the principal. "I hope her cold gets better soon. Who is this calling?"
"This is my mom."
What do you call the the Head of the Washington D.C. Financial Ethics Board?
>!They would be the Capitol Capital Principle Principal!<
Mom tells her son to wake up and go to school.
The son replies, I don't want to get up or go to school.
Mom responds, You have to go to school, everybody is expecting you to be there .
Son asks, Why do I have to go to school?
Mom: Because you're 40 years old and you are the Principal .
A mom walks into her son's room one morning...
Mom: "Wake up, or you'll be late for school."
Son: "I don't want to go to school today!"
M: "Why not?"
S: "Because all the kids hate me!"
M: "But you have to go."
S: "But all the teachers hate me too!!!"
M: "Oh, for crying out loud. Get up! You're 45 years old and you're the principal!"
