The Best 65 Princess Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Princess jokes. There are some princess twilight jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these princess princess diana death puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Princess Jokes and Puns
My girlfriend kept telling me to treat her like a princess.
So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.
How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the front seat.
why did Princess Diana cross the road?
Because she wasn't wearing her seat-belt.
Stay safe tonight everyone!
Princess Diana Jokes
What's the difference between Princess Diana and a blade of grass? About six feet.
How is Princess Diana like a mobile phone? Both die in tunnels.
Where does Diana stay when she visits Paris? Any place she can crash.
How is Princess Diana like breaking a bone? Both need a doctor to remove the plaster of paris.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and thirty-nine pennies? It's easier to scrape together thirty-nine pennies.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What's the difference between Princess Diana an Casper the ghost? Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? A Mercedes will easily reach 40.
What would Di be doing if she were alive today? Scratching at the lid of her coffin.
Yes I am a horrible person wow.
Three nuns at the pearly gates with St. Peter.
St. Peter tells the nuns, "since you've all dedicated your lives to God, we will let you go back and live as anyone you'd like to."
The first nun says, "I'd like to be Mother Theresa", and Peter says, "No problem."
The second nun says, "I'd like to return as Princess Diana", and Peter says, "Sure thing."
The third nun says, "I'd like to be Sarah Pippilini." St. Peter says, "I'm sorry sister but I don't know who that is." The nun holds up a newspaper and points to the headline.
St. Peter laughs and says, "No, no sister that doesn't say 'Sarah Pippilini'; it says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days'."
What did the princess say when she got to the ball?
garglgarglgarglgarglgargl
How do you make a plumber sad?
You tell him that the princess is in another castle.
Engineering students
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
Princess Diana had dandruff.
Cops found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.
Like a princess
A man takes his girlfriend out on a date, and as they are leaving he says "I'm going to treat you like a princess".
So they jump in his Mercedes and he drives into a wall.
What is the difference between Princess Diana and Tiger Woods?
One of them has a good driver.
You can explore princess princesses reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean princess meghan dad jokes. There are also princess puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
Inertia.
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and Princess Diana?
Pink Floyd kept going after the wall.
I'm friends with Princess Diana on Xbox Live...
She spends most of her time on the dashboard.
My friend wanted to feel like a princess on her wedding day
So we made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a French alliance.
Princess Zelda won't have sex with me at will anymore.
I guess I'll Triforce next time.
Why couldn't Princess Leia find love?
She was looking in Alderaan places.
I just added Princess Diana to my xbox friends list.
I don't think she has any games though, all she does is spend all day on the dashboard...
How do police know that princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel.
How do you ruin a date with Princess Leia?
By saying Alderaan things.
My daughter told me to treat her like a princess...
so I made her marry a man she has never met before in order to secure an alliance with France.
My daughter told me I should treat her like a princess
So I married her off to a stranger in order to secure an alliance with the French.
My Wife told me to treat her like a princess
So I put her in the back of my car and crashed it into a tunnel
What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?
Darth Vader.
So Mario is talking to Luigi.
"So I breka up with tha princess last night. But I told her, it's a not you, it's a me! Mario!"
So MotherTeresa is in heaven, but...
she notices that Princess Diana has a bigger halo than her. So Mother Teresa goes to God and asks why Princess Diana has a larger halo. God laughs and responds, "Oh, that's not a halo, that's the steering wheel."
My grandmother told me this joke, all credit to her.
A man takes his wife out to dinner
A man takes his wife out to dinner one night. The wife says, "I want you to treat me like a princess." The husband drives his Mercedes into a wall.
What was the slutty princess full of?
Kingdom come
Whos the funniest disney princess?
raPUNzel
*sits there laughing to self*
...so lonely..
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She didn't wear a seatbelt.
So I saw that Princess Diana is trending on tumblr.
She's all over the dashboard!
What do Pink Floyd and princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
I told my boyfriend that he better start treating me like a princess
So he flew me to Paris, got me drunk, and drove me into a tunnel pillar at 105 km/h.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
Momentum.
Mario sits Princess Peach down to have a serious talk.
Peach, we've been together a long time, I've saved you countless times, but I just can't go on any longer.
But I want you to know, it's not you, itsa me, Mario.
My girlfriend told me that she wanted to be treated like a princess...
So I married her off to a stranger twice her age to strengthen my alliance with France
Princess Dianna was on the radio the night she died.
And the steering wheel, and the dashboard, and the windshield...
She was a princess, He? a prince
She offered her honor.
He honored her offer.
All night long, it was
Honor, and Offer.
My girlfriend told me she wanted someone who treated her like a princess
So I hired paparazzi to follow her and she died in a car accident.
What does Africa hunger and a mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop either.
My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess.
So I put her into the back of my Mercedes and drove it into a wall.
My girlfriend said to treat her like a princess
So I forced her into a marriage with a man she'd never met so that I could make an alliance with Poland.
A knight comes to the royal castle with a bag and asks for king's attention
He enters, and says "Your Majesty, I kept my word. Here's the head of the dragon!" and takes the head of the dragon out of the bag.
A royal advisor brings a bag to the king. The king replies "Well, then, I kept my word too. Here's the hand of the princess!"
My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess
So I used her as bait to lure an Italian plumber into my castle
Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns?
So it doesn't Hang Solow
Princess Diana and Pink Floyd has a lot in common
Both their greatest hits was the wall
A developer finds a talking frog.
It says "Kiss me and I will become a princess". But he just puts she into his jacket and keeps on working.
During Lunch the frog jumps out of his jacket and says again "Kiss me and I will become your princess". But he just puts her back again.
In the evening he shows her to a friend and she asks "Why won't you kiss me?" - "I don't have time for a girlfriend but a talking frog is funny."
My girlfriend is angry with me for incorrectly quoting the Princess Bride
Unbelievable!
Who Did Princess Leia's Hair? (My daughter's joke)
Darth Braider
(I know, I know. She's a kid though. Lol)
My little daughter came to me all excited, saying, Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in August! I said, Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me? She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers...
It's now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won't say where she got them...
What's Princess Leia's favourite song?
Riding solo - Jason Derulo
A man, his wife and his friend just finished diner
"It was absolutely delicious, honey! Thank you so much, princess." says the man to his wife in the kitchen. "Could you please fetch us two beers later, baby?"
His friend says: "It is very cute that you still have nicknames for her after so long time."
The man responds: "Well, I forgot her name like three years ago, so I give her nicknames to cover it up. But seriously don't tell her, amigo!"
My little daughter came to me all excited, shrieking, Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in October! Playing along, I laughed, Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me? She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers...
It's now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won't say where she got them...
Why did Princess Leia date so many guys before she found Han?
She was looking for love in Alderaan places.
My girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess
So I arranged her marriage with Philip VI of Valois to strengthen the alliance with France.
My girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess
So I took her to Paris.
We went to wonderful restaurants and stayed in an expensive hotel.
Then I crashed our car in a tunnel and she died.
A man is walking through the woods and comes across a talking frog ...
"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a princess," the frog tells him.
The man picks the frog up and puts her in his pocket.
"Wait, wait, aren't you going to kiss me?" asks the frog. "I'm a princess!"
The man shrugs. "I'd rather have a talking frog."
How did Mario break up with the Princess?
He said, "It's not you, it's a me, Mario!"
Which Disney Princess is always on dating apps?
Tinderella.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glovebox
A toddler, was giving her daddy a tea party
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea , her Mom came home, Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!
Who is the heaviest member of the British royal family?
It's Diana, Princess of Whales.
The Princess Bride
Cary Elwes walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Oh, wow! 'Princess Bride' is one of my favorite movies," the bartender gushes. "Can you tell me any of the behind the scenes secrets?" "Well a little known fact is that they almost made a sequel. But they scrapped it because Wesley and Buttercup were unable to have children," Elwes said. "She was inconceivable."
Why did Princess Peach choose Toad?
Because he seemed like such a fungi
What's the difference between "Thomas the Tank Engine" and Princess Diana?
Thomas made it through the tunnel
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the princess jewish american princess jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working princess jewish princess piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.