Princess Jokes
139 princess jokes and hilarious princess puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about princess that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Bring out the laughter with these original and entertaining Princess Jokes! Whether it's Princess Leia, the Princess and the Pea, or Princess Margaret, there's something for everyone! Get ready to learn how to crack a good joke about the royal highness of the kingdom!
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Funniest Princess Short Jokes
Short princess jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The princess humour may include short goddess jokes also.
- My girlfriend kept telling me to treat her like a princess. So I made her marry an old guy she's never met to secure an alliance with the French.
- Queen Elizabeth II may have made it to 96 before she died... But Princess Diana made it to 120
- My Daughter asked me "dad, why don't you treat me like a princess." So I married her off to the king of Spain in exchange for 5000 acres on the Costa del Sol.
- My friend wanted to feel like a princess on her wedding day So we made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a french alliance.
- Why did Princess Leia date so many guys before she found Han? She was looking for love in Alderaan places.
- Who Did Princess Leia's Hair? (My daughter's joke) Darth Braider
(I know, I know. She's a kid though. Lol) - My girlfriend is angry with me for incorrectly quoting the Princess Bride Unbelievable!
- My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess So I used her as bait to lure an Italian plumber into my castle
- I told my boyfriend that he better start treating me like a princess So he flew me to Paris, got me drunk, and drove me into a tunnel pillar at 105 km/h.
- My girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess So I took her to Paris.
We went to wonderful restaurants and stayed in an expensive hotel.
Then I crashed our car in a tunnel and she died.
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Princess One Liners
Which princess one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with princess? I can suggest the ones about little girl and young girl.
- Why did princess Diana cross the road She wasn't wearing her seatbelt
- What do Pink Floyd and princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.
- So I saw that Princess Diana is trending on tumblr. She's all over the dashboard!
- How do you ruin a date with Princess Leia? By saying Alderaan things.
- How do you make a plumber sad? You tell him that the princess is in another castle.
- Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Momentum.
- What's Princess Leia's favourite song? Riding solo - Jason Derulo
- What did the princess say when she got to the ball? garglgarglgarglgarglgargl
- I bet dating zelda would be fun. A princess in the streets, but Sheik in the sheets.
- What it Princess Zelda's favorite food? Hot Links
- What was Princess Diana's favorite thing about the Xbox 360? The dashboard.
- Princess Buttercup and Wesley were never able to have children She was inconceivable.
- What did the doctor say to the infertile Princess Bride? Inconceivable!
- Who was Princess Leia's gynecologist? OB-Wan Kenobi
- Who is the heaviest member of the British royal family? It's Diana, Princess of Whales.
Princess Diana Jokes
Here is a list of funny princess diana jokes and even better princess diana puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between Pink Floyd and Princess Diana? Pink Floyd kept going after the wall.
- What does Africa hunger and a mercedes have in common? Princess Diana couldn't stop either.
- What is the difference between Princess Diana and Tiger Woods? One of them has a good driver.
- How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the front seat.
- I just added Princess Diana to my xbox friends list. I don't think she has any games though, all she does is spend all day on the dashboard...
- What would Princess Diana be doing if she was alive today? Shouting "Get me out of this coffin!"
- What is the difference between a Mercedes and a Lexus? Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Lexus...
- What do Princess Diana and Champagne have in common? Both come from France in a wooden box.
- They say when you go to France that you never truly come back Well that was somewhat true for princess Diana
- What's the difference between "Thomas the Tank Engine" and Princess Diana? Thomas made it through the tunnel
Princess Leia Jokes
Here is a list of funny princess leia jokes and even better princess leia puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- After Luke Skywalker found out Princess Leia was his sister... He became best friends with hand solo.
- Why did Princess Leia take so long to find her hair brush? She kept looking for it in Alderaan places.
- A lot of guys found Princess Leia attractive... ...but for me she ticks Alderaan boxes.
- How does Princess Leia like her showers? Lukewarm.
- What is Princess Leia's favorite Aerosmith song? Ewok this way.
- What doesn't Princess Leia like toy guns? Because the Nerf hurt her.
- What's the fastest way to become a general in the Rebel Alliance? Leia Princess!
- Why did Princess Leia send a distress call to Francis? Because he was her only Pope.
- What did Han Solo say to Princess Leia towards the end of their first date? You're all clear, kid, now let's *blow* this thing and go home!
- what if princess leia went to the dark side? then she would be luke's sithter
Disney Princess Jokes
Here is a list of funny disney princess jokes and even better disney princess puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Whos the funniest disney princess? raPUNzel
*sits there laughing to self*
...so lonely.. - How do Disney princesses screw in a lightbulb? They hold the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them.
- Which Disney princess would be the best judge? Snow White, because she's the Fairest One of All.
- Heard a rumor that Iron Man is going to be the newest Disney Princess... ...they're always on the lookout for a strong Fe male character.
- What's the name of the Disney princess that got burned? Cinder-ella
- I heard Disney is making a princess that's more pc to viewers. She's said to resemble Rapunzel. Except instead of letting down her hair, she lets down everyone in her life.
- Which Disney Princess is always on dating apps? Tinderella.
- My daughter wanted a Disney Princess birthday party… …so I made all her friends come over and clean my house.
- Why didn't the Disney Princess go to the doctor when she got sick? Because the cold never bothered her anyway.
- A Disney princess was arrested by mistake They thought it was someone Elsa.
Princess Peach Jokes
Here is a list of funny princess peach jokes and even better princess peach puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Princess Peach choose Toad? Because he seemed like such a fungi
- Why was Mario furious? He caught Princess Peach going through his Bowser history
- How are Marie Antoinette, Princess Peach, and GLaDOS alike? They all lie about there being cake.
- Why did princess peach choke? Mario came down the wrong pipe
- Why did Princess Peach dump Mario for Toad? Because he just wasn't as much of a fun guy.
- Articles of Impeachment The selection of clothing a cosplayer uses to dress up like Princess Peach.
- Why is Princess Peach named after a fruit and Princess Daisy named after a flower? Because wanting to sound good is their OBJECTion
- Why couldn't Mario ever watch Netflix with Peach? Because the princess was always on another Castle.
- Whats the one pipe Mario will not fit down? Princess peach.
Comical Princess Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about princess you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean her majesty jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make princess pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Princess Diana Jokes
What's the difference between Princess Diana and a blade of grass? About six feet.
How is Princess Diana like a mobile phone? Both die in tunnels.
Where does Diana stay when she visits Paris? Any place she can c**....
How is Princess Diana like breaking a bone? Both need a doctor to remove the plaster of paris.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and thirty-nine pennies? It's easier to scrape together thirty-nine pennies.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What's the difference between Princess Diana an Casper the ghost? Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? A Mercedes will easily reach 40.
What would Di be doing if she were alive today? Scratching at the lid of her coffin.
Yes I am a horrible person wow.
Three nuns at the pearly gates with St. Peter.
St. Peter tells the nuns, "since you've all dedicated your lives to God, we will let you go back and live as anyone you'd like to."
The first nun says, "I'd like to be Mother Theresa", and Peter says, "No problem."
The second nun says, "I'd like to return as Princess Diana", and Peter says, "Sure thing."
The third nun says, "I'd like to be Sarah Pippilini." St. Peter says, "I'm sorry sister but I don't know who that is." The nun holds up a newspaper and points to the headline.
St. Peter laughs and says, "No, no sister that doesn't say 'Sarah Pippilini'; it says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days'."
Engineering students
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
Why did the ant crawl up Princess Kate's stocking?
To go to the grand opening.
Why did the ant crawl up Prince Williams' trousers?
To get to the royal ball.
Like a princess
A man takes his girlfriend out on a date, and as they are leaving he says "I'm going to treat you like a princess".
So they jump in his Mercedes and he drives into a wall.
A prince asked a beautiful princess to marry him..
And she said no.
The prince lived happily ever after.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Princess Zelda won't have s**... with me at will anymore.
I guess I'll Triforce next time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Princess Leia spit and not s**...?
Because it was Chewy
Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?
He kept trying to shave the princess.
Princess Diana goes to heaven...
Princess Diana goes to heaven and meets St. Peter. He says to her: Here in heaven we are all equal, so you need to take off the crown. She replies: This is not a crown, it's a rim
My Wife told me to treat her like a princess
So I put her in the back of my car and crashed it into a tunnel
What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?
Darth Vader.
My girlfriend wants me to take her to Paris, and treat her like a princess
The only thing is, I don't know which to pick: the guillotine or the Mercedes.
So Mario is talking to Luigi.
"So I breka up with tha princess last night. But I told her, it's a not you, it's a me! Mario!"
So MotherTeresa is in heaven, but...
she notices that Princess Diana has a bigger halo than her. So Mother Teresa goes to God and asks why Princess Diana has a larger halo. God laughs and responds, "Oh, that's not a halo, that's the steering wheel."
My grandmother told me this joke, all credit to her.
A man takes his wife out to dinner
A man takes his wife out to dinner one night. The wife says, "I want you to treat me like a princess." The husband drives his Mercedes into a wall.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was the s**... princess full of?
Kingdom come
I promised my wife I would make her feel like a princess.
She is all locked up in the tower now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
LifeProTip: If your child wants to help name your pet...
..let them pick the middle name. That way if they pick something silly, you can still refer to your pet by the normal name. For example, my 4 year old's rabbit is now named
Peter "floppy-eared-princess" Smith
Similarly, my 15 year old's gecko is named
Freddy "f**...-you-this-isn't-a-phase" Smith
My girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess.
So I gave her to a gorilla for him to throw barrels at me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend told me that on valentines day she wants to get treated like a princess
So I got her assassinated in a French underpass.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
LPT: If you want to treat a girl like a princess, take her out for dinner or play with her hair (simple things can make anyone's day).
Alternatively you could pick her up in a Mercedes and c**... into a wall.
When a Prince Kisses a Sleeping Princess, it's "Romantic"...
...but when I give a shoulder rub to the lady sleeping in front of me on the bus, I'm "banned from riding the bus"
Mario sits Princess Peach down to have a serious talk.
Peach, we've been together a long time, I've saved you countless times, but I just can't go on any longer.
But I want you to know, it's not you, itsa me, Mario.
Someone told me they wanted to be treated like a princess
So I put them in the back of a Mercedes and drove into a wall.
Princess Dianna was on the radio the night she died.
And the steering wheel, and the dashboard, and the windshield...
Me: Do you want something to drink?
Me: We've got this new soda called 'Princess Di.' It's a tribute to Princess Diana
Friend: Got anything else?
Me: Just Mountain Dew.
Friend: So those are my only two options?
Me: It's Dew or Di.
She was a princess, He? a prince
She offered her honor.
He honored her offer.
All night long, it was
Honor, and Offer.
What was the real reason Princess Di divorced Prince Charles?
She found out that not all rulers have 12 inches.
My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess.
So I put her into the back of my Mercedes and drove it into a wall.
A knight comes to the royal castle with a bag and asks for king's attention
He enters, and says "Your Majesty, I kept my word. Here's the head of the dragon!" and takes the head of the dragon out of the bag.
A royal advisor brings a bag to the king. The king replies "Well, then, I kept my word too. Here's the hand of the princess!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My 6 year old son told me this one. "What do you call a snowman that's having a t**... with two hot princesses?"
I slapped my son and abruptly deleted his youtube kids app.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Princess Leia keep her hair t**... in buns?
So it doesn't Hang Solow
A developer finds a talking frog.
It says "Kiss me and I will become a princess". But he just puts she into his jacket and keeps on working.
During Lunch the frog jumps out of his jacket and says again "Kiss me and I will become your princess". But he just puts her back again.
In the evening he shows her to a friend and she asks "Why won't you kiss me?" - "I don't have time for a girlfriend but a talking frog is funny."
Why didn't princess Diana carry any cash?
Who would like their purse to be full with pictures of their mother-in-law?
There is a conspiracy theory that claims Princess Diana was on the radio after her reported death.
I'd like to confirm this was completely true, she WAS on the radio, and the dashboard, the steering wheel, the back of the seats and the windscreen.
My little daughter came to me all excited, saying, Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in August! I said, Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me? She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers...
It's now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won't say where she got them...
A man, his wife and his friend just finished diner
"It was absolutely delicious, honey! Thank you so much, princess." says the man to his wife in the kitchen. "Could you please fetch us two beers later, baby?"
His friend says: "It is very cute that you still have nicknames for her after so long time."
The man responds: "Well, I forgot her name like three years ago, so I give her nicknames to cover it up. But seriously don't tell her, amigo!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I married a real princess!
Her mother is a royal pain.
A man is walking through the woods and comes across a talking frog ...
"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a princess," the frog tells him.
The man picks the frog up and puts her in his pocket.
"Wait, wait, aren't you going to kiss me?" asks the frog. "I'm a princess!"
The man shrugs. "I'd rather have a talking frog."
A toddler, was giving her daddy a tea party
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea , her Mom came home, Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!
The Princess Bride
Cary Elwes walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Oh, wow! 'Princess Bride' is one of my favorite movies," the bartender gushes. "Can you tell me any of the behind the scenes secrets?" "Well a little known fact is that they almost made a sequel. But they scrapped it because Wesley and Buttercup were unable to have children," Elwes said. "She was inconceivable."
The Princess of Potatoes has to marry
King Tater instructs his daughter to choose a noble potato to wed.
The princess says, "Father, I have chosen. I want to marry Rachel Maddow."
"I WON'T HAVE IT!" yells King Tater in a fury.
"But Father, I never knew you would be homophobic," said the princess.
"It's not that!" said the king. "It's that she's only a commentator."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This girl told me she wanted to be treated like a princess
So I cursed her and locked her in a castle
