Princess Diana Jokes
79 princess diana jokes and hilarious princess diana puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about princess diana that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for the best Princess Diana jokes? We've got you covered with our roundup of the funniest, most clever and simply jokes about the late Princess of Wales.
Funniest Princess Diana Short Jokes
Short princess diana jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The princess diana humour may include short princess jokes also.
- Queen Elizabeth II may have made it to 96 before she died... But Princess Diana made it to 120
- What's the difference between Pink Floyd and Princess Diana? Pink Floyd kept going after the wall.
- What does Africa hunger and a mercedes have in common? Princess Diana couldn't stop either.
- What is the difference between Princess Diana and Tiger Woods? One of them has a good driver.
- How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the front seat.
- I just added Princess Diana to my xbox friends list. I don't think she has any games though, all she does is spend all day on the dashboard...
- What would Princess Diana be doing if she was alive today? Shouting "Get me out of this coffin!"
- What is the difference between a Mercedes and a Lexus? Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Lexus...
- What do Princess Diana and Champagne have in common? Both come from France in a wooden box.
- They say when you go to France that you never truly come back Well that was somewhat true for princess Diana
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Princess Diana One Liners
Which princess diana one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with princess diana? I can suggest the ones about disney princess and prince charles.
- Why did princess Diana cross the road She wasn't wearing her seatbelt
- What do Pink Floyd and princess Diana have in common? Their last big hit was the wall.
- So I saw that Princess Diana is trending on tumblr. She's all over the dashboard!
- Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Momentum.
- What was Princess Diana's favorite thing about the Xbox 360? The dashboard.
- Who is the heaviest member of the British royal family? It's Diana, Princess of Whales.
- What does a Ferrari and poverty have in common? Princess Diana can't stop either
- Why didn't Superman rescue Princess Diana? Because he was in a wheelchair.
- what does cellphone reception and princess diana have in common? They both die in tunnels
- I was surprised to learn what Princess Diana died from. It was car-pole-tunnel syndrome.
- What was princess Diana's favourite song? Paradise by the dashboard light
- Who was the last princess to turn into a pumpkin? Diana when she got squashed
- Live Fast, Die Young Princess Diana's life motto
- If Princess Diana was a seasoning She would be called Mrs. Dash.
- What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana's mind? The gearstick.
Comical & Quirky Princess Diana Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about princess diana you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean princess leia jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make princess diana pranks.
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana's head before she died?
The Dashboard
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Princess Diana Jokes
What's the difference between Princess Diana and a blade of grass? About six feet.
How is Princess Diana like a mobile phone? Both die in tunnels.
Where does Diana stay when she visits Paris? Any place she can c**....
How is Princess Diana like breaking a bone? Both need a doctor to remove the plaster of paris.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and thirty-nine pennies? It's easier to scrape together thirty-nine pennies.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What's the difference between Princess Diana an Casper the ghost? Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? A Mercedes will easily reach 40.
What would Di be doing if she were alive today? Scratching at the lid of her coffin.
Yes I am a horrible person wow.
Three nuns at the pearly gates with St. Peter.
St. Peter tells the nuns, "since you've all dedicated your lives to God, we will let you go back and live as anyone you'd like to."
The first nun says, "I'd like to be Mother Theresa", and Peter says, "No problem."
The second nun says, "I'd like to return as Princess Diana", and Peter says, "Sure thing."
The third nun says, "I'd like to be Sarah Pippilini." St. Peter says, "I'm sorry sister but I don't know who that is." The nun holds up a newspaper and points to the headline.
St. Peter laughs and says, "No, no sister that doesn't say 'Sarah Pippilini'; it says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days'."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Halo
Mother Teresa passed away and was on her way up to Heaven when she finally met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. He looked at her with such pride and said, "Mother Teresa! Thank you for everything you did for the world. Because of the good you did, I will give you this halo. Only the greatest figures in world history get these ." She thanked him as he placed the halo upon her head. She then walked into heaven and saw some of these amazing figures wearing halos, too. People like Martin Luther King, Jr., Abe Lincoln, etc. Then she looked over and noticed Princess Diana with a bigger halo than everyone else. Mother Teresa stormed over to St. Peter, and started yelling, "You know, I was born into wealth, and gave that all away to live in complete poverty. The s**... of the Earth my whole life!" To which he replied, "I know! We greatly appreciate it. What is the problem?" She replied, "How come Princess Diana gets a halo? She was born into wealth, stayed wealthy her whole life, and I just don't think she did anything above and beyond to deserve that halo." St. Peter was confused. He looked at Mother Teresa and said, "Um, that isn't a halo. That's a f**...' steering wheel."
How did the paramedics know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove box
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Princess Diana and AMD have in common?
Terrible drivers.
Princess Diana goes to heaven...
Princess Diana goes to heaven and meets St. Peter. He says to her: Here in heaven we are all equal, so you need to take off the crown. She replies: This is not a crown, it's a rim
What is globalization?
Question : What is globalization?
Answer : Princess Diana's death
Question : How come?
Answer :
An English princess with an
Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a
German car with a
Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was high on
Scottish whiskey, followed closely by
Italian Paparazzi, on
Japanese motorcycles, treated by an
American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines!
And this is sent to you by a
Canadian, using
Bill Gates' technology which he got from the
Japanese.
And you are probably reading this on
one of the IBM clones that use
Philippine-made chips, and
Korean made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi
workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries
driven by Indians, hijacked by Indonesians and finally
sold to you by a Chinese!
Wow mum, it's just what I wanted for Christmas!
Princess Diana Hot wheels!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Princess Diana say when she reached the ball?
***gagging noises***
PS: I don't know how to spell that out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I want to screw you like I s**... Princess Diana
Hard, fast and against the wall
So MotherTeresa is in heaven, but...
she notices that Princess Diana has a bigger halo than her. So Mother Teresa goes to God and asks why Princess Diana has a larger halo. God laughs and responds, "Oh, that's not a halo, that's the steering wheel."
My grandmother told me this joke, all credit to her.
What's the difference between David Carradine, and Princess Diana?
David Carradine wore his belt
What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana?
The Mercedes can easily reach 40.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
A: Conservation of momentum.
_____
*Also, give me your best dark jokes, I've been out of it a few years and I need to get some new material.*
What's the difference??
What's the difference between Cinderella and Princess Diana?
At midnight Cinderella's car didn't turn into a wall.
Watching a film about Princess Diana..
And Diana says "if we are lucky we will grow old" and my sister turns around and says bluntly and without a hint of a smile, "you won't"
I recently found my Journal from my trip to Europe. Allow me to share an entry.
August 30, 1997, 11:49pm - [Paris]
Woah! Princess Diana just waved and smiled at me from her car! What are the odds!
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods knows how to pick a good driver.
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
She was on the radio, and the dashboard, and the hood.
I carpool with Michael. J. Fox. Whenever he drives, I feel like royalty.
By royalty, I mean Princess Diana.
You can now buy celebrity-voiced sat-navs for your car.
I bought the Princess Diana version. It just keeps saying "Put your foot down, I think we can lose them"
Frankie Boyle
Me: Do you want something to drink?
Me: We've got this new soda called 'Princess Di.' It's a tribute to Princess Diana
Friend: Got anything else?
Me: Just Mountain Dew.
Friend: So those are my only two options?
Me: It's Dew or Di.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Michael Hutchence from INXS?
Michael Hutchence was wearing a belt.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John?
Only one of them got to be Queen of England...
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
British
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why Did The Queen Wear Black Gloves To Princess Diana's f**...?
The white ones were covered in brake fluid.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
About Diana.
Why are Mercedes so expensive ?
Because they use princess for c**...-tests !
How did we know about Princess Diana's Obsession with her hair?
They found Head and shoulders in the glove compartment of her car.
What's the difference between princess Diana and my computer
I care when my computer crashes
They say that Princess Diana gave her heart to the people.
They were wrong, the coroner found it in the glove compartment
Do you what passed over Princess Diana's head before she died?
The Mercedes Steering Wheel.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I took a class about Princess Diana once
It was a c**... course.
Princess Diana walks into a bar
Diana: "Can I get a pint of Fosters please?"
Bartender: "Sorry, we're out, Will Carling do?"
And remember there's always a light at the end of the tunnel
Unless you're princess Diana.
Why didn't princess Diana carry any cash?
Who would like their purse to be full with pictures of their mother-in-law?
There is a conspiracy theory that claims Princess Diana was on the radio after her reported death.
I'd like to confirm this was completely true, she WAS on the radio, and the dashboard, the steering wheel, the back of the seats and the windscreen.
What's the difference between "Thomas the Tank Engine" and Princess Diana?
Thomas made it through the tunnel
