prince Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious prince puns

Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.

Teach a man to phish, he will become a Nigerian Prince.

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All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.

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My little brother wanted to be treated like a prince...

...So I slit his throat while he was sleeping to ensure he didn't lay claim to my crown.

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Teach a man to fish, and he'll be able to eat for a lifetime

Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll become a prince.

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Did you hear about Prince?

Well I mean the artist formerly known as Prince.

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Prince Hamlet was having trouble finding out the proportion of sluts to non-sluts in Denmark.

So he asked his friend Horatio.

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Give a Nigerian a fish he'll eat for a day.

Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince and start e-mailing people.

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If Liverpool wins, somebody warn the Pope!

1981:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool wins the Champions League
3. The Pope dies

2005:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool wins the Champions League
3. The Pope dies

2018:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool is in the Champions League's final
3.

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Teach a Nigerian to fish...

He'll eat for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince and start emailing people.

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Prince Harry and William must feel so awkward in a strip club

Imagine having to put pictures of your gran into a stripper's bra

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She didn't wear a seatbelt.

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What do you get if you cross Prince Charles and The Queen?

Killed in a tunnel

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I can't believe Prince Harry, who's British royalty, is marrying African American actress Meghan Markle. Why would someone that rich and famous marry an obviously inferior genetic specimen? It's just unthinkable.

Though I suppose if Meghan wants to marry a ginger, it's none of my business.

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A wise Nigerian prince once said…

"I think, therefore I scam."

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She was a princess, He? a prince

She offered her honor.
He honored her offer.
All night long, it was
Honor, and Offer.

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If Prince is dead then...

Is his music now "royalty-free"?

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A Saudi Arabian prince is going to college in England

He texts his father,
"Dad, I feel weird driving my Lamborghini to school when all my classmates take a train"
His father replies;
"Son, I have transferred 500 million dollars into your account. Go out and buy a train and stop embarrassing this family"

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Can you Imagine?


Can you imagine stuffing pictures of your grandmother in a strippers G string?

Imagine you are Prince Harry

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day...

Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince.

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What's the most embarrassing part about Hillary Clinton's emails?

The Nigerian Prince actually came through with the money transfer.

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Nigerian Fishing

Give a Nigerian a fish and he'll eat for the day.

Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll immediately turn into a prince and start emailing people.

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The Princess and the Knights

In a kingdom long ago, there lived a beautiful princess. Many suspected that she was involved sexually with the knights of the castle. The king dismissed these rumors but as time wore on, they seemed more and more frequent. One day, the king grew suspicious enough of his knights and so he devised a plan. He placed a knife inside the princess' vagina and waited until the next morning. At dawn, the king called in his three most loyal knights- Lancelot, Gawain, and Percivale- and commanded them to drop their pants one by one. Sir Percivale did so, and revealed his sliced member. He was executed on the spot. Sir Gawain did the same, and revealed his cuts and was executed as well. However, when Lancelot dropped his pants, his member was completely intact with no marks at all. "Incredible", said the King. "You truly are the most loyal of all my knights. Whatever you desire will be yours". Alas, Sir Lancelot was speechless. 

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Prince Harry had his Bachelor Party last night in London and here is his "Quote of the Day" from that memorable event:

"It's really weird stuffing money into a stripper's G string when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it."

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A Saudi prince has come forward saying that they should end the ban placed on women driving in the kingdom.

Interesting, just in time when all global tech giants are in the final stage of trials of their self-driving cars.

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Why couldn't Princess Leia find love?

She was looking in Alderaan places.

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Cinderella wanted to go to the ball....

....but didn't have all the right gear - suddenly her fairy godmother appears and grants her all her wishes... "But remember deary, be home by midnight, or else your vagina will turn into a pumpkin"... She agrees and goes off to the ball, has a great time and meets Prince Charming....... but he's quite dull, so she mingles a bit more and meets a very handsome young man. "Who are you?" She asks...

"I'm Peter-Peter the pumpkin eater, say what time do you have to be home?"

"Oh!", replies Cinders, "about three or four in the morning!"

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So I saw that Princess Diana is trending on tumblr.

She's all over the dashboard!

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Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns?

So it doesn't Hang Solow

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Princess Diana Jokes

What's the difference between Princess Diana and a blade of grass? About six feet.

How is Princess Diana like a mobile phone? Both die in tunnels.

Where does Diana stay when she visits Paris? Any place she can crash.

How is Princess Diana like breaking a bone? Both need a doctor to remove the plaster of paris.

What's the difference between Princess Diana and thirty-nine pennies? It's easier to scrape together thirty-nine pennies.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

What's the difference between Princess Diana an Casper the ghost? Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.

What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? A Mercedes will easily reach 40.

What would Di be doing if she were alive today? Scratching at the lid of her coffin.

Yes I am a horrible person wow.

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The Royal Honeymoon.

On the day of her wedding to Prince William, Catherine gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Catherine's feet are in agony.

The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear William say, "God, that was tight."

"There," whispers Camilla to the Prince Charles, "I told you she was a virgin."

Then, to their surprise, they hear William say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter."

"That's my boy," says the Prince Charles. "Once an Etonian, always an Etonian."

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A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew.

A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion
during a dinner.
Catholic: I have a large fortune....I am going to buy Citibank!
Protestant: I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!

Muslim: I am a fabulously rich prince.... I intend to purchase Microsoft!

They then all wait for the Jew to speak....

The Jew stirs his coffee, places the spoon neatly on the table, takes
a sip of his coffee, looks at them and casually says:
I'm not selling!!!...

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The Princess Bride is bull

When Wesley spends five years building up an immunity to iocane powder, it's romantic and we should idolize him.

But when I do it with rum, I'm an "alcoholic who needs to pay his goddamn child support."

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What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White?

Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!

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why did Princess Diana cross the road?

Because she wasn't wearing her seat-belt.
Stay safe tonight everyone!

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Like a princess

A man takes his girlfriend out on a date, and as they are leaving he says "I'm going to treat you like a princess".

So they jump in his Mercedes and he drives into a wall.

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What are the most funny Prince jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Prince? Well, here are the best Prince dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Prince pick up lines to share with friends.

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