Prince Jokes

What are some Prince jokes?

Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.

Teach a man to phish, he will become a Nigerian Prince.

All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh...

But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme.

My little brother wanted to be treated like a prince...

...So I slit his throat while he was sleeping to ensure he didn't lay claim to my crown.

Teach a man to fish, and he'll be able to eat for a lifetime

Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll become a prince.

Did you hear about Prince?

Well I mean the artist formerly known as Prince.

Who Did Princess Leia's Hair? (My daughter's joke)

Darth Braider



(I know, I know. She's a kid though. Lol)

I once paid $20.00 to see Prince perform

But I partied like it was $19.99

Give a Nigerian a fish he'll eat for a day.

Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince and start e-mailing people.

If Liverpool wins, somebody warn the Pope!

1981:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool wins the Champions League
3. The Pope dies

2005:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool wins the Champions League
3. The Pope dies

2018:
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool is in the Champions League's final
3.

Prince Harry and William must feel so awkward in a strip club

Imagine having to put pictures of your gran into a stripper's bra

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She didn't wear a seatbelt.

What do you get if you cross Prince Charles and The Queen?

Killed in a tunnel

I can't believe Prince Harry, who's British royalty, is marrying African American actress Meghan Markle. Why would someone that rich and famous marry an obviously inferior genetic specimen? It's just unthinkable.

Though I suppose if Meghan wants to marry a ginger, it's none of my business.

A wise Nigerian prince once said…

"I think, therefore I scam."

She was a princess, He? a prince

She offered her honor.
He honored her offer.
All night long, it was
Honor, and Offer.

If Prince Zuko worries about about where the avatar is

Does he have Aangxiety?

If Prince is dead then...

Is his music now "royalty-free"?

A Saudi Arabian prince is going to college in England

He texts his father,
"Dad, I feel weird driving my Lamborghini to school when all my classmates take a train"
His father replies;
"Son, I have transferred 500 million dollars into your account. Go out and buy a train and stop embarrassing this family"

Can you Imagine?


Can you imagine stuffing pictures of your grandmother in a strippers G string?

Imagine you are Prince Harry

What's the most embarrassing part about Hillary Clinton's emails?

The Nigerian Prince actually came through with the money transfer.

Nigerian Fishing

Give a Nigerian a fish and he'll eat for the day.

Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll immediately turn into a prince and start emailing people.

You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince

But apparently only seven before you're banned from that stuck-up aquarium

Prince Harry had his Bachelor Party last night in London and here is his "Quote of the Day" from that memorable event:

"It's really weird stuffing money into a stripper's G string when every billΒ has a photo of your grandmother printed on it."

A Saudi prince has come forward saying that they should end the ban placed on women driving in the kingdom.

Interesting, just in time when all global tech giants are in the final stage of trials of their self-driving cars.

Why couldn't Princess Leia find love?

She was looking in Alderaan places.

Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns?

So it doesn't Hang Solow

So I saw that Princess Diana is trending on tumblr.

She's all over the dashboard!

Princess Diana Jokes

What's the difference between Princess Diana and a blade of grass? About six feet.

How is Princess Diana like a mobile phone? Both die in tunnels.

Where does Diana stay when she visits Paris? Any place she can crash.

How is Princess Diana like breaking a bone? Both need a doctor to remove the plaster of paris.

What's the difference between Princess Diana and thirty-nine pennies? It's easier to scrape together thirty-nine pennies.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

What's the difference between Princess Diana an Casper the ghost? Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.

What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? A Mercedes will easily reach 40.

What would Di be doing if she were alive today? Scratching at the lid of her coffin.

Yes I am a horrible person wow.

The Royal Honeymoon.

On the day of her wedding to Prince William, Catherine gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Catherine's feet are in agony.

The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear William say, "God, that was tight."

"There," whispers Camilla to the Prince Charles, "I told you she was a virgin."

Then, to their surprise, they hear William say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter."

"That's my boy," says the Prince Charles. "Once an Etonian, always an Etonian."

Give a Nigerian a fish, he will eat for a day,

Teach a Nigerian how to phish and he will be a prince for the rest of his life.

A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew.

A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion
during a dinner.
Catholic: I have a large fortune....I am going to buy Citibank!
Protestant: I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!

Muslim: I am a fabulously rich prince.... I intend to purchase Microsoft!

They then all wait for the Jew to speak....

The Jew stirs his coffee, places the spoon neatly on the table, takes
a sip of his coffee, looks at them and casually says:
I'm not selling!!!...

What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White?

Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!

A prince under a spell

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn't speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.

One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her my darling. But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years.Β  At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.Β 

Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, My darling, I love you! Will you marry me? Β 

And the lady said, Pardon?

Like a princess

A man takes his girlfriend out on a date, and as they are leaving he says "I'm going to treat you like a princess".

So they jump in his Mercedes and he drives into a wall.

why did Princess Diana cross the road?

Because she wasn't wearing her seat-belt.
Stay safe tonight everyone!

So Prince Charles is hunting in the woods

When he notices a rustling in the bushes. After shooting at it he hears a yelp and goes to see what he's shot. To his horror, he's accidentally killed one of the Queen's corgis. "Oh Mother will be so angry" he thinks to himself. It is at that moment that he stumbles and knocks over a lamp on the ground and a genie appears and says "You freed me from the lamp, so I shall grant you a wish!" Delighted by this amazing coincidence, Charles says "Yes could you bring this dog back to life?" Sadly the genie replies, "I'm sorry but I cannot raise a living thing from the dead, it is too great a task even for me."
Crestfallen, Charles decides he may as well go for a selfish wish then and says "If that's the case, could you make Camilla beautiful?"
Awkwardly, the genie responds "So you shot your dog, huh?"

What do you get if you cross Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip?

killed in a french tunnel.

What do you get when you cross the Queen and Prince Charles?

Killed in an automobile accident.

How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders in the front seat.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

Momentum.

A young Saudi prince studying abroad...

A young Saudi prince studying abroad receives a call from his father asking him if everything is alright.
He tells his dad that he is feeling ashamed that everyday he goes to college in his brand new Lamborghini while all the other students take the train.
His father replies: "I understand your shame son, take this 2 billion dollars and buy yourself a train".

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

Inertia.

Princess Dianna was on the radio the night she died.

And the steering wheel, and the dashboard, and the windshield...

Princess Diana and Pink Floyd has a lot in common

Both their greatest hits was the wall

The cursed Prince. This summer's best love story.

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch.

The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year.

However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words (this was before the time of letter writing or sign language).

One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love.
With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say, "my darling,"

But, at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).

But, at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So, he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.

Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds.

Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily,


"My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"


And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said,


"Pardon?"

What did the princess say when she got to the ball?

garglgarglgarglgarglgargl

Princess Zelda won't have sex with me at will anymore.

I guess I'll Triforce next time.

1978: UK's prince marries, Liverpool wins the Champions League, the Pope dies.

2005: UK's prince marries, Liverpool wins the Champions League, the Pope dies.

2018: UK's prince marries, Liverpool is in the Champions League final, and the Pope is cheering for Real Madrid like a madman.

Princess Diana had dandruff.

Cops found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.

Chris Cornell dies and goes to heaven…

St. Peter: It is probably a bit disorienting, but there are a lot of people here you will want to meet.

Chris: Like who?

St. Peter: Well, right over there are Janis, Jimi, Kurt, Prince, and David Bowie for starters.

Chris: Oh no, is that Bono over there with them? I didn't know that Bono was dead.

St. Peter: No, no, that's not Bono, that's god, he just thinks he's Bono.

Did you know princess diana was on the radio during her car accident?

She was also on the dash, windshield and the hood

Regal Proceedings

If I was royalty, I would have a kid and call him Artist as a publicity stunt, before conceding to the pressure of public outcry, and renaming him something more regal.

So he may forever become known as The Prince Formerly Known As Artist.

What Did Cinderella say to the prince when she got to the ball?

Grgggll

Why did Princess Leia spit and not swallow?

Because it was Chewy

What would Princess Diana be doing if she was alive today?

Shouting "Get me out of this coffin!"

How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.

How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders on the dashboard.

What would Princess Diana be doing if she was alive today?

She would be frantically scratching at the roof of her coffin.

Why did the ant crawl up Princess Kate's stocking?

To go to the grand opening.

Why did the ant crawl up Prince Williams' trousers?

To get to the royal ball.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn't wearing her seat-belt.

Credit goes to some caller on the Dean Blundell show. I couldn't make that up

What it Princess Zelda's favorite food?

Hot Links

Someday, my prince will come.

I hope it's soon, my arm's tired.

What do you get if you cross the Queen and Prince Philip?

Murdered in a tunnel in Paris

Prince Philip had a car accident and his Range Rover was written off.

All that money and nothing to chauffeur it

The Rock and Roll Hierarchy has fallen

The King has left the building, Queen has bit the dust, and now the doves cry for their Prince.

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year.

If he didn't speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.

One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her my darling. But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.

Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?

And the lady said, I'm gay"

So theres a rich arabian prince driving through a foreign country and he's passing through some farmland and sees a farmer leaning on a post so he decides to stop and have a chat.

Is this your land? He asks the farmer. Yep, from that post down to the river. Responds the farmer. The prince smiles and says, on my land i can get in my car and drive the whole day and not see the other side! And the farmer says:
Yeah i had a car like that once.

Spam in the Middle Ages

A prince is awaiting a letter from his loved one for three days and three nights. On the fourth day, a pigeon flies in and drops a letter on his lap. When he opens it he reads:

"Get your sword forged for cheap"

Trump meets the Queen

So Donald asks the Queen how you get to be king or a duke or other Royalty.

Queen:' Look Donald, an Emperor rules an Empire, a king rules a kingdom, a prince ruled a principality, a duke rules a duchy and so on'
Donald:' I rule the USA, what does that make me'
Queen: that's a country, that makes you a ....

How do you know Princess Diana has dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders in the glovebox.

As a mark of respect to Prince...

The local pub is putting on a wake tomorrow night. All you can eat and drink for under 20 quid.

I for one intend to party like it's Β£19.99.

I've just been scammed by a Nigerian Prince

His version of Purple Rain was abysmal.

How to make Prince jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Prince to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Prince? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Prince pick up lines to share with friends.

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