Prime Jokes
161 prime jokes and hilarious prime puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about prime that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for laughs? Check out this top collection of Amazon Prime, Optimus Prime, Prime Minister, Prime Number, Prime Rib, Prime Day jokes, and more. Get ready for a good time with these hilarious Transformer, Megatron, and Primary jokes that'll have you in stitches.
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Funniest Prime Short Jokes
Short prime jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The prime humour may include short primary jokes also.
- The UK Prime Minister just announced her resignation. This is not surprising. It is the end of May, after all.
- The ceo of IKEA has just been appointed as the Prime Minister of Sweden. He's currently assembling his cabinet.
- What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get
- You may not believe me when I say that Trump isn't the Prime Minister of Canada It's Trudeau.
- king Charles has a realistic chance of breaking one of Queen Elizabeths most famous records: The record number of 15 prime ministers during her reign.
- I was sitting at the bar arranging peanuts into piles of 1, 3, 5 and 7. The bartender asked me if I was trying to set up some odd joke. I told him No, but I would have done that in my prime.
- If California splits into 3 states, we just need to make Puerto Rico a state. We's have a prime number of states and finally be one nation, indivisible
- The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister of Sweden. The first thing he'll do is to assemble his cabinet.
- The American President has challenged the british Prime Minister to a debate. Nobody knows what may happen.
Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump. - Who would win if the American President debated the British Prime Minister? After all, Trump may trump May, or May may trump Trump
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Prime One Liners
Which prime one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with prime? I can suggest the ones about principal and premium.
- CEO of IKEA is now the Prime Minister of Sweden He is currently assembling his cabinet.
- What do you call 2 monkeys that share an amazon account? Prime mates.
- 4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects.
- I heard a rumour about the canadian Prime Minister Not sure if it's Trudeau.
- I've heard the Canadian Prime-Minister has a French last name. Is this Trudeau?
- '2' managed to be prime, Against all the odds.
- Nobody believes that I can name the Canadian Prime Minister. It's Trudeau.
- What would you call a Crossover between Wonder Woman and Transformers? Amazon Prime.
- What's the derivative of Amazon? Amazon Prime
- I'm 23 years old Truly in my prime
- I had to report my stolen amazon package The police are still looking for a prime suspect
- Jeff Bezos stepped down as CEO of Amazon. Quit when he was in his Prime.
- Why did 6 accuse 7 of eating 9? 7 was the prime suspect.
- If Wonder Woman is the best female warrior Would that make her Amazon Prime?
- We should give credit to the number 2. It became a prime number against all odds.
Prime Minister Jokes
Here is a list of funny prime minister jokes and even better prime minister puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I just heard that the Swedish prime minister quit after just a few hours And I thought I was the only one who couldn't put together a swedish cabinet.
- When my wife told me that the Prime Minister of Canada got re-elected, I thought she was lying. It's Trudeau.
- If your workplace requires password changes every 90 days just set it to the name of the current Australian Prime minister and you should be fine.
- The president of the United States is going to debate the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Nobody is sure who is going to win. In other words... Trump may trump May. May may trump Trump.
- My son asked if he could meet the British Prime Minister I said "Boris Johnson? Liz Truss will probably be too busy. What do you want to meet Rishi Sunak for anyway?"
- Breaking News: The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden. He's currently assembling his cabinet.
- The queen asked the visiting Indian Prime Minister, "I hear Indian politicians are notoriously corupt and wealthy" "Quite so," he said, "but none so brazen as to wear their loot on their head".
- What's the difference between imitation bread and the Canadian prime minister? One is fake dough, the other is Trudeau.
- Some people don't think Justin is the prime minister of Canada. It's Trudeau
- Just found out that the boss of IKEA is the new Prime Minister of Sweden He's still assembling his new cabinet
Prime Number Jokes
Here is a list of funny prime number jokes and even better prime number puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My girlfriend from college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number. I wonder what she's up to now.
- Why are stoners and prime numbers so similar? The higher they are, the more spaced out they become
- The number 29 was murdered. The cops arrested all the numbers from 24 to 34. But 31 was the prime suspect.
- 2 is the only even prime number. It's kind of odd, isn't it?
- What do prime numbers and white girls have in common? They literally can't even.
- Feminists are like prime numbers The only thing that goes into them is themselves.
- My ex girlfriend was obsessed with trying to discover the largest prime number. I wonder what she is up to now.
- When my son learned about prime numbers, he told me that the Pledge of Allegiance would be better if we added three more states Because 53 is indivisible.
- How did the prime number react when it found out it wasn't a 2? I can't even
- Whenever anyone asks me for a random number, I say seven. It's a prime example.
Amazon Prime Jokes
Here is a list of funny amazon prime jokes and even better amazon prime puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm unhappy with prime day Amazon Prime day is on the 21st. I personally would not partake of Prime day unless it were on the 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 7th, 11th, 13th, 17th, 19th, 23rd, 29th, or 31st
- My wife asked me how Wonder Woman got her new sword in the Justice League movie... I told her that she must have Amazon Prime
- What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
- What do you call a Transformer in a cardboard box? Amazon Prime.
- Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
- How do Australians order monkies? Amazon Prime, mate.
- Jeff Bezos has never been the President of Amazon. Just the Prime Minister.
- Did you hear Jeff Bezos is stepping down from Amazon? Odd, since he was in his Prime.
- Why did Amazon name their drone delivery service Amazon Prime Air? Because the name Dropbox is already taken
- Best way to vaccinate the masses Train all of the Amazon drivers to give it.
Everyone will have it by Saturday.
Thursday if you have Prime.
Optimus Prime Jokes
Here is a list of funny optimus prime jokes and even better optimus prime puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Optimus Prime: Autobots, roll out! Pessimus Prime: Why? We'll just lose...
- I heard Optimus Prime is writing a book... I heard Optimus Prime is writing a book.
It's an Autobotography. - What did Optimus Prime become when he lost to the Decepticons? Pessimus Prime.
I'll show myself out. Sorry for the dad joke. I recently became a dad. - Optimus Prime, in full on robot battle, wondering how the decepticons keep figuring out his next moves before he makes them only to look down and see that his blinker was on the entire time.
- Why was Optimus Prime excited about the incoming storm? Because he heard it had already blown several transformers.
- What did Optimus Prime say when Bumblebee said "Nice shoes!" Thanks, they're Vans.
- What's the square root of optimus prime? I'm not sure, but it's more than meets the eye.
- It is a crime to tell a joke to Optimus Prime. You might be charged with Vehicular Man's Laughter.
- What does Optimus Prime say when he wants a symphonic band? "Autobots, ensemble!"
- What do you call Optimus Prime if he gets a tick? Optimis-tick
Gather Around for Heartwarming Prime Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about prime you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean prom jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make prime pranks.
The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline.
No one remembers where this tradition originated, but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.
There's a plane crashing down...
On the plane are The President of the United States, The British Prime Minister, the smartest man in the world, a priest and a boy scout. The pilot announces over the intercom: "People, we regret to inform you that we are going to c**.... Fortunately, there are 6 parachutes available."
Before anyone can respond, the pilot and copilot dash out of the cabin, each grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The 5 passengers look at each other, realize there's only 4 parachutes left, then make a mad dash for them. A giant fight ensues as everyone struggles to grab a parachute.
The President snags one and declares, "I *must* live! I'm the President of the United States!" before jumping out of the plane.
The Prime Minister grabs a c**... and yells, "*I* must live! I'm the Prime Minister!"
The Smartest Man in the World and the boy scout get into a tussle, ending with the Smartest Man in the World shoving the boy scout to the floor. Hugging the parachute to his chest he yells, "I'm the Smartest Man in the World! It is imperative that I survive!" and leaps out the door.
The priest helps the boy scout to his feet. "You go ahead, son," he says, "Take the last parachute. I've made my peace."
"We can each have one, father," The boy scout says, shaking his head, "The Smartest Man in the World took my backpack."
What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty?
Pessimist Prime
What do you call 2 algebraists who marry?
Prime mates
What did Tony Abbott (Prime minister of Australia) do with the half-eaten banana?
He re-peeled it.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 8 and 9 died in a double h**... and 7 is the **prime** suspect.
In a crime scene....
"So, Rookie, What do you make of all this?"
"Well, the vic was found n**... in bed, severely beaten to death. Sounds like a clear cut m**... case if you ask me"
"close. Our prime suspect is his wife, a morbidly obese woman who says he asked to be on the bottom during s**..."
"So it was a s**... then...."
Two boys are in the woods...
...They were walking when they noticed two girls getting n**... in a nearby pond. One kid bolted the other way and the other one chased after him. "Why did you leave man! That was the prime opportunity for us to see n**... chicks!" Then the other kid said "well, my mom said if I ever see a n**... girl before I'm married, I'll turn to stone and I felt something getting hard!"
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Since seven was a child, he has always been a prime number. He excelled at everything he did, but he was kind of odd. Seven was very vengeful and quick to anger. Even though he was popular and well praised, he couldn't stand the sight of six, who was well rounded and has a good circle of tight friends.
When prom came, seven was alone and bitter. Of all his achievements, not one helped him land a date. Then six came in with his +1. Filled to the brim with jealousy, seven spread rumors that 6 and 9 were performing unspeakable acts. Six was alone again.
While walking to class, six saw seven with six's former +1 and averted his eyes. As they passed by eachother, seven whispered into six's ear "now, we're even".
Women are like numbers ...
* Some are Rational, but infinitely more are Irrational.
* The Real ones might be Proper or Improper, but only the Imaginary ones are ever Pure.
* Some are Natural, the rest are Negative, or just not there.
* Some are Prime, but those are hard to find.
* Every other one is just plain Odd.
Terminator, RoboCop, & Optimus Prime are all together thinking of their next costume for Halloween...
when RoboCop says "We should all be classical musical composers; I'll be..Beethoven!".
Optimus Prime agrees and says "alright - I'll be..Mozart!".
Terminator stands up and says "I'll be Bach!".
Two students were complaining about math class.
"I hate math. Well, I really just hate numbers." "What do you mean?" "Take seventeen, for instance. I hate seventeen. There's nothing good about seventeen." "What's so bad about seventeen?" "Nothing really. It's just a prime example."
Why did the power go out when Optimus Prime got his first b**...?
Someone blew a transformer.
I didn't believe my friend when he told me who the Canadian Prime Minister was...
turns out it was Trudeau.
Some people want Puerto Rico to become the 51st State...
Some people want Puerto Rico to become the 51st State...
I say let's do it, and find two more new states.
Then we'd have 53 states.
A nice PRIME number...
ONE NATION - INDIVISIBLE
D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state.
D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state. If congress passes it we only need 2 more states to get to 53 which is a prime number. Then we will truly be one nation, indivisible.
I've heard of Lawyers who mount a stag's head in their study, or Doctors who mount a lion's head in their dining room...
I guess I just don't see the problem with a British Prime Minister mounting a pig's head wherever he pleases.
I told my husband there are 100 days until our baby's delivery
He said "That's a really long time. You should really use Prime next time".
I found out my friend is addicted to math.
I should have known. All the sines were there. He had a hard time functioning, and he would go off on tangents all the time. Such a shame - he was in his prime, his life was on a great vector. He wanted to write the next 'Matrix'. But now, he can't differentiate between what is real and what is imaginary. It's so complex. I'm afraid his problems will start to multiply exponentially, and he just doesn't understand the root of it all. Pretty soon he won't be able to integrate at all. And just to add to the trouble, those he defines as 'friends' just want to divide his space between themselves. I'm afraid soon he'll go off into the Great Unknown...
What do you get when Wonder Woman has s**... with a transformer?
Amazon Prime
Can you call the British PM a fool?
During WW II, a man was arrested in London for calling Winston Churchill a fool.
The next day in the House of Commons, the opposition members were ready to roast the government for this. "Are we living in a police state", they shouted, "where we cannot call the PM a fool"?
Churchill's reply was truly disarming - "The man was not arrested for calling the Prime Minister a fool", he said, "but for letting out a state secret at a time of war".
What time did the Monster eat the prime minister?
8PM
Yeah, it's a math joke
17: Hey 11, want to hear a joke?
11: Sure.
17: What did one prime number say to the other prime number?
11: I give up.
17: "I can't even."
11 and 17 together: HAHAHA!!!!!
2: I don't get it.
The Justice League has a vacancy and the number 7 is interviewing to fill a superhero position...
Batman: Thank you for coming, 7. Its been rough since the Flash took off and we're having a hard time finding someone to replace him. Let's get right to it. What is your first power?
Number 7: Well, for my whole life I've been in prime condition and I don't anticipate that changing anytime soon.
Bathman: That's great to hear. What do you consider your second power to be?
Number 7: 49
A man was trying to subdivide a large piece of property he owned in Manhattan.
But no matter how many ways he tried, he was unable to split it up into any number of equal sized parcels. He asked a realtor if she could help, but the realtor said there was simply no way to do it.
The problem, she said, is that's a piece of prime real estate.
(Ukrainian joke). Leaders of three countries discuss their economies and taxes.
US President says: we tax our people at roughly 30%, and what they do with the rest, is not of my business
UK prime minister says: we tax our people at 50%, and what they do with the rest is none of my business.
Ukrainian president says: we tax our people at 130%, and where they get the rest, is none of my business
This is a joke from the 1990s.
7, 11 and 13 walk into a bar
7 turns to 11 and 13 and says, "This is a prime example of how odd we are!"
For the question "Is the glass half empty or half full?" someone was the first person to say the glass is half full. While their name is forever lost, historians, theoligans and philosophers shall refer to them as...
Optimist Prime.
When Canada was first unified, they realized they needed a name for this new country, so they decided to draw letters oot of a basket to name it.
The first prime minister went up on stage and started pulling letters and announcing them to the crowd. "C, eh?"..."N, eh?"..."D, eh?"
I read today that the Prime Minister of Australia receives in the mail, on average, two parcels each week that contain human e**....
I wonder who's sending the other one?
I am extremely proud of my son who chose a career in organised crime
He became the prime minister of the country
Where does a transformer get his glasses from?
Optometrist Prime
Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.
"Why"? Putin asks
" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep, - I woke you up at 4AM in the morning, but I thought it was only evening, - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday, - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."
"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor, remember when that Polish plane crashed with the president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet !!"
Just went to a BBQ place..
Me: I'll have 6 ribs please
Waiter: We only serve those in quantities of 3, 5, 7, or 13.
Turns out it was prime rib.
Queen Elizabeth and Indira Gandhi
My dad told me this joke when I was young, and I think it's HILARIOUS:
Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was once invited by Queen Elizabeth. Both of them were riding in the Queen's horse-driven carriage when one of the horses f**....
Petrified and embarrassed by the horse's toot, the Queen apologizes to Indira Gandhi, "I'm sorry," she said.
Indira Gandhi replied, "Oh that's okay. But I thought it was the horse!"
I'm old. I just turned 32.
I'm past my prime.
I'm binging a TV show for free on Amazon, but it won't let me watch certain episodes. Specifically episode number 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, and 97.
Those are only available on Amazon Prime.
What transformer is made out of cardboard and shows up in two days?
Amazon prime
The Bidens went out to a restaurant.
The waiter serving them asked Jill Biden for her order first.
"To start, I'll have the french onion soup. Then the prime rib, medium-rare, with a baked potato, with butter and sour cream."
"Excellent, Doctor. What about the vegetable?"
"Oh, he'll have the same thing."
(Yes, it's an oldie...)
