The Best 71 Prime Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Prime jokes. There are some prime density jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these prime foremost puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Prime Jokes and Puns

The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline.

No one remembers where this tradition originated, but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.

The UK Prime Minister just announced her resignation.

This is not surprising. It is the end of May, after all.

There's a plane crashing down...

On the plane are The President of the United States, The British Prime Minister, the smartest man in the world, a priest and a boy scout. The pilot announces over the intercom: "People, we regret to inform you that we are going to crash. Fortunately, there are 6 parachutes available."

Before anyone can respond, the pilot and copilot dash out of the cabin, each grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The 5 passengers look at each other, realize there's only 4 parachutes left, then make a mad dash for them. A giant fight ensues as everyone struggles to grab a parachute.

The President snags one and declares, "I *must* live! I'm the President of the United States!" before jumping out of the plane.

The Prime Minister grabs a chute and yells, "*I* must live! I'm the Prime Minister!"

The Smartest Man in the World and the boy scout get into a tussle, ending with the Smartest Man in the World shoving the boy scout to the floor. Hugging the parachute to his chest he yells, "I'm the Smartest Man in the World! It is imperative that I survive!" and leaps out the door.

The priest helps the boy scout to his feet. "You go ahead, son," he says, "Take the last parachute. I've made my peace."

"We can each have one, father," The boy scout says, shaking his head, "The Smartest Man in the World took my backpack."

Prime joke, There's a plane crashing down...

What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty?

Pessimist Prime

What do you call 2 algebraists who marry?

Prime mates


I heard Optimus Prime is writing a book...

I heard Optimus Prime is writing a book.

It's an Autobotography.

4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed.

2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects.

Prime joke, 4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed.

What do prime numbers and white girls have in common?

They literally can't even.

What can a mathematician and a pedophile agree upon?

11 is a prime number.

What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River?

The Amazon River actually has sails.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 8 and 9 died in a double homicide and 7 is the **prime** suspect.

You can explore prime primary reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean prime main dad jokes. There are also prime puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


In a crime scene....

"So, Rookie, What do you make of all this?"

"Well, the vic was found naked in bed, severely beaten to death. Sounds like a clear cut murder case if you ask me"

"close. Our prime suspect is his wife, a morbidly obese woman who says he asked to be on the bottom during sex"

"So it was a suicide then...."

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?

The higher they are, the more spaced out they get

2 is the only even prime number.

It's kind of odd, isn't it?

Two boys are in the woods...

...They were walking when they noticed two girls getting naked in a nearby pond. One kid bolted the other way and the other one chased after him. "Why did you leave man! That was the prime opportunity for us to see naked chicks!" Then the other kid said "well, my mom said if I ever see a naked girl before I'm married, I'll turn to stone and I felt something getting hard!"

What's the derivative of Amazon?

Amazon Prime

Prime joke, What's the derivative of Amazon?

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Since seven was a child, he has always been a prime number. He excelled at everything he did, but he was kind of odd. Seven was very vengeful and quick to anger. Even though he was popular and well praised, he couldn't stand the sight of six, who was well rounded and has a good circle of tight friends.

When prom came, seven was alone and bitter. Of all his achievements, not one helped him land a date. Then six came in with his +1. Filled to the brim with jealousy, seven spread rumors that 6 and 9 were performing unspeakable acts. Six was alone again.

While walking to class, six saw seven with six's former +1 and averted his eyes. As they passed by eachother, seven whispered into six's ear "now, we're even".

Terminator, RoboCop, & Optimus Prime are all together thinking of their next costume for Halloween...

when RoboCop says "We should all be classical musical composers; I'll be..Beethoven!".

 

Optimus Prime agrees and says "alright - I'll be..Mozart!".

 

Terminator stands up and says "I'll be Bach!".

Two students were complaining about math class.

"I hate math. Well, I really just hate numbers." "What do you mean?" "Take seventeen, for instance. I hate seventeen. There's nothing good about seventeen." "What's so bad about seventeen?" "Nothing really. It's just a prime example."


Some people want Puerto Rico to become the 51st State...

Some people want Puerto Rico to become the 51st State...

I say let's do it, and find two more new states.

Then we'd have 53 states.

A nice PRIME number...

ONE NATION - INDIVISIBLE

D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state.

D.C. voted overwhelmingly to be a state. If congress passes it we only need 2 more states to get to 53 which is a prime number. Then we will truly be one nation, indivisible.

I'm 23 years old

Truly in my prime

Nobody believes that I can name the Canadian Prime Minister.

It's Trudeau.

I told my husband there are 100 days until our baby's delivery

He said "That's a really long time. You should really use Prime next time".

I found out my friend is addicted to math.

I should have known. All the sines were there. He had a hard time functioning, and he would go off on tangents all the time. Such a shame - he was in his prime, his life was on a great vector. He wanted to write the next 'Matrix'. But now, he can't differentiate between what is real and what is imaginary. It's so complex. I'm afraid his problems will start to multiply exponentially, and he just doesn't understand the root of it all. Pretty soon he won't be able to integrate at all. And just to add to the trouble, those he defines as 'friends' just want to divide his space between themselves. I'm afraid soon he'll go off into the Great Unknown...

What do you get when Wonder Woman has sex with a transformer?

Amazon Prime

If Wonder Woman is the best female warrior

Would that make her Amazon Prime?

What would you call a Crossover between Wonder Woman and Transformers?

Amazon Prime.

The American President has challenged the British Prime Minister to a debate.

Nobody knows what may happen.

Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.

Can you call the British PM a fool?

During WW II, a man was arrested in London for calling Winston Churchill a fool.

The next day in the House of Commons, the opposition members were ready to roast the government for this. "Are we living in a police state", they shouted, "where we cannot call the PM a fool"?

Churchill's reply was truly disarming - "The man was not arrested for calling the Prime Minister a fool", he said, "but for letting out a state secret at a time of war".

Yeah, it's a math joke

17: Hey 11, want to hear a joke?

11: Sure.

17: What did one prime number say to the other prime number?

11: I give up.

17: "I can't even."

11 and 17 together: HAHAHA!!!!!

2: I don't get it.

What's the difference between imitation bread and the Canadian prime minister?

One is fake dough, the other is Trudeau.

Why are stoners and prime numbers so similar?

The higher they are, the more spaced out they become

The Justice League has a vacancy and the number 7 is interviewing to fill a superhero position...

Batman: Thank you for coming, 7. Its been rough since the Flash took off and we're having a hard time finding someone to replace him. Let's get right to it. What is your first power?

Number 7: Well, for my whole life I've been in prime condition and I don't anticipate that changing anytime soon.

Bathman: That's great to hear. What do you consider your second power to be?

Number 7: 49

Who would win if the American President debated the British Prime Minister?

After all, Trump may trump May, or May may trump Trump

Why did 6 accuse 7 of eating 9?

7 was the prime suspect.

I heard a rumour about the Canadian Prime Minister

Not sure if it's Trudeau.

What do you call 2 monkeys that share an Amazon account?

Prime mates.

My wife asked me how Wonder Woman got her new sword in the Justice League movie...

I told her that she must have Amazon Prime

The queen asked the visiting Indian Prime Minister, "I hear Indian politicians are notoriously corupt and wealthy"

"Quite so," he said, "but none so brazen as to wear their loot on their head".

The president of the United States is going to debate the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Nobody is sure who is going to win. In other words...

Trump may trump May. May may trump Trump.

7, 11 and 13 walk into a bar

7 turns to 11 and 13 and says, "This is a prime example of how odd we are!"

For the question "Is the glass half empty or half full?" someone was the first person to say the glass is half full. While their name is forever lost, historians, theoligans and philosophers shall refer to them as...

Optimist Prime.

Some people don't think Justin is the prime minister of Canada.

It's Trudeau

Optimus Prime: Autobots, roll out!

Pessimus Prime: Why? We'll just lose...

When Canada was first unified, they realized they needed a name for this new country, so they decided to draw letters oot of a basket to name it.

The first prime minister went up on stage and started pulling letters and announcing them to the crowd. "C, eh?"..."N, eh?"..."D, eh?"

If California splits into 3 states, we just need to make Puerto Rico a state.

We's have a prime number of states and finally be one nation, indivisible

I had to report my stolen amazon package

The police are still looking for a prime suspect

If your workplace requires password changes every 90 days

just set it to the name of the current Australian Prime minister and you should be fine.

What do you call a Transformer in a cardboard box?

Amazon Prime.

'2' managed to be prime,

Against all the odds.

I read today that the Prime Minister of Australia receives in the mail, on average, two parcels each week that contain human excrement.

I wonder who's sending the other one?

I am extremely proud of my son who chose a career in organised crime

He became the prime minister of the country

We should give credit to the number 2.

It became a prime number against all odds.

How do Australians order monkies?

Amazon Prime, mate.

You may not believe me when I say that Trump isn't the Prime Minister of Canada

It's Trudeau.

Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.

"Why"? Putin asks

" I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep, - I woke you up at 4AM in the morning, but I thought it was only evening, - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday, - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."

"Indeed" Putin replies "but that's only minor, remember when that Polish plane crashed with the president? I called them to express my condolences, but the plane hadn't taken off yet !!"

Just went to a BBQ place..

Me: I'll have 6 ribs please

Waiter: We only serve those in quantities of 3, 5, 7, or 13.



Turns out it was prime rib.

Queen Elizabeth and Indira Gandhi

My dad told me this joke when I was young, and I think it's HILARIOUS:

Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was once invited by Queen Elizabeth. Both of them were riding in the Queen's horse-driven carriage when one of the horses farted.

Petrified and embarrassed by the horse's toot, the Queen apologizes to Indira Gandhi, "I'm sorry," she said.

Indira Gandhi replied, "Oh that's okay. But I thought it was the horse!"

I'm binging a TV show for free on Amazon, but it won't let me watch certain episodes. Specifically episode number 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, and 97.

Those are only available on Amazon Prime.

Jeff Bezos stepped down as CEO of Amazon.

Quit when he was in his Prime.

Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?

They were prime mates.

Breaking News: The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden.

He's currently assembling his cabinet.

TIL: of mathematician Katherine Johnson who died at 101 years old

She was in her prime.

An 89 year old mathematician had passed away.

He died in his prime.

I'm unhappy with prime day

Amazon Prime day is on the 21st. I personally would not partake of Prime day unless it were on the 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 7th, 11th, 13th, 17th, 19th, 23rd, 29th, or 31st

When I was younger, I was told my Prime would come at around 26 or 27 years old.

They lied though, I'm 28 and still can't afford my own account.

It is a crime to tell a joke to Optimus Prime.

You might be charged with Vehicular Man's Laughter.

CEO of IKEA is now the Prime Minister of Sweden

He is currently assembling his cabinet.

Simeon Saxe-Coburg-Gotha's cabinet became sick during his time as Prime Minister in 2003

It was the SARS cabinet.

Netflix and Amazon Prime are no longer available in Afghanistan.

Because of the telly ban.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the prime hydrant jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working prime numeral piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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