Prime Day Jokes
33 prime day jokes and hilarious prime day puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about prime day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Prime Day Short Jokes
Short prime day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The prime day humour may include short singles day jokes also.
- I'm unhappy with prime day amazon Prime day is on the 21st. I personally would not partake of Prime day unless it were on the 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 7th, 11th, 13th, 17th, 19th, 23rd, 29th, or 31st
- If your workplace requires password changes every 90 days just set it to the name of the current Australian Prime minister and you should be fine.
- I told my husband there are 100 days until our baby's delivery He said "That's a really long time. You should really use Prime next time".
- In a speech two days ago, Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she plans to delay Brexit, in the hopes that the UK leaves with her deal on 22 May May wants to leave at the end of May.
- Optimus Prime and Bumblebee are in first day of kindergarten. Optimus (in his deep voice) : Hi, I'm Optimus Prime. What's your name?
Teacher : Be silent!!!!!
Bumblebee : umleee - It's been 5 days since news broke about Amazon CEO's illicit photos being leaked and I've still yet to see them. Thankfully I dropped my prime membership last week.
- I met the Canadian prime minister the other day I said, Justin I heard that your last name was a hilarious Pun.
Is it true doe? - Wonder Woman marries Optimus Prime and gets pregnant on their wedding night. So I guess there's gonna be a guaranteed free delivery in 2 business days.
- After Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt went swimming at the beach one day and never returned... ...we named a public swimming pool after him.
(true story) - Amazon Prime now comes with a joke of the day The premise isnt too funny, but the delivery is great
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Prime Day One Liners
Which prime day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with prime day? I can suggest the ones about first day of summer and president day.
- What transformer is made out of cardboard and shows up in two days? Amazon prime
- My friend asked me what I got on prime day.. I answered "a bunch of pictures of dogs"
- Why do fanfic writers like Amazon Prime? They get free two-day shipping.
- Roses are Red Violets are Blue
My days as a Prime member
Are through - Amazon Prime Day!! ...
- My son asked me if I ordered anything on prime day. I said "ribs"
- Subscribe to Optimus Prime World saving leadership with guaranteed next day delivery
Amazon Prime Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny amazon prime day jokes and even better amazon prime day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Husband: Did you know you can buy Plan B on Amazon Prime? Me: I don't think two-day shipping is gonna cut it.
Prime Day Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about prime day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean presidents day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make prime day pranks.
Can you call the British PM a fool?
During WW II, a man was arrested in London for calling Winston Churchill a fool.
The next day in the House of Commons, the opposition members were ready to roast the government for this. "Are we living in a police state", they shouted, "where we cannot call the PM a fool"?
Churchill's reply was truly disarming - "The man was not arrested for calling the Prime Minister a fool", he said, "but for letting out a state secret at a time of war".
First aboriginal Prime Minister of Australia - Aboriginal stand-up comedy
Bulupin Kwobinyarn delivers his acceptance yarn on the day of his election as Australia's first Indigenous Prime Minister.
A man walks up to Parliament Hall...
Man: I need to speak to Prime Minister Harper immediately!
Guard: I'm sorry sir, Steven Harper is no longer the Prime Minister of Canada.
##The man leaves. The next day, the man comes back again.
Man: Please, I need to speak to Prime Minister Harper!
Guard: Like I told you yesterday sir, Steven Harper is no longer the Prime Minister of Canada.
##The man once again leaves. On the third day, he's back again.
Man: I need to speak to Prime Minister Harper!
The guard says: Sir, why do you keep coming back? This is the third time I'm telling you, Steven Harper is no longer the Prime Minister of Canada.
The man replies: I know, I just can't get tired of hearing you say that
Putin is at a press conference...
Reporter: Good day, I'm John Smith from the Coca-Cola company. Mr president I have a question. You've been trying to get the old times back, and bringing the good old communism back.
Putin: Communism bring back russia, yes
Reporter:Why don't you also bring the old red flag back? And maybe we will close a 5 billion dollar deal if you put our logo very tiny in a little corner...
Putin: Hmm, I have discuss this
*Putin whispers to his Prime Minister*: Psst, Medvedev, when ends the Aquafresh contract?
A schoolteacher quits his job to become a pirate...
In 18th century America, a schoolteacher decides that he's sick and tired of teaching spelling and grammar to children all day. So he quits his job, sells his house, and plans to become a pirate. He goes down the harbor to buy a boat and hire a crew. Once his crew is ready, they head out onto the high seas, with the captain/former teacher at the helm.
As they sail, they spy a merchant ship on the horizon and start chasing it. As they catch up, the captain tells the first mate to command the crew to start priming the cannons. The first mate sends the message down and the crew readies the cannonballs, prepares the gunpowder, and takes aim at the merchant ship. The first mate runs back up to the helm and says "captain, the cannons be ready!"
The captain turns to the first mate and says "are!"
80 year old man visits the doctor.
An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I even have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime b**... sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'. Suddenly, two shots rang out and the b**... fell over dead. What do you think of that?"
The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that b**...."
The doctor replied "My point exactly."
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
6 never did trust 7. Sure, they worked closely together, but 7 always seemed at odds with him. 6 always preferred the company of 4, a perfect 10 of a duo, even though 2 kept them apart.
But when it came to 7? 6 always summed it up to bad luck. Then, 6 found the truth.
6 respected 9, even though lewd jokes always seemed to be made about the two. 6 found that 3 and himself could come together and be seen as equal to 9. When 9 was removed, 6 had a very negative feeling.
Some were considered prime suspects in 9's death. 2, 3, 5, and 7. 6 knew it had to be 7. His involvement with 9 added up two well.
6 snuck into 7's house. He looked up from the floorboards, and found himself under 7. An admittedly improper position for him, but 6 saw the proof he wanted: 9's body, half devoured. 7 was a cannibal... 7 8 9.
6 has spent the remainder of his days terrified of 7, worried that someday 7 will learn what 6 knows... And promptly solve his problem.