Primary School Jokes
33 primary school jokes and hilarious primary school puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about primary school that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Primary School Short Jokes
Short primary school jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The primary school humour may include short pre school jokes also.
- "I banged the hottest chick of my class and now the whole town is talking about it." ~ Walter, 52, primary school teacher
- What is the difference between an Afghanistani Primary School and a Taliban Base? What would I know, I am just a drone pilot.
- In a primary school... The teacher asks students to draw female reproductive system. A girl in the class puts her head down out of shyness. A boy looks at her and exclaims "Ma'am she's copying!".
- I can always tell by their eyes if someone is a primary school teacher They have small pupils.....
- What did little John Cena say to his primary school teacher when she gave him his report card? You can't C me!
- How many Gestapo agents does it take to change a lightbulb? VE VILL ASK ZE QUESTIONS!!!!
Courtesy of my brain throwing up random memories from primary school - My local council just installed a zebra crossing near the primary school What a waste of money, I've never even seen a zebra in this town
- My friend fell in love with a girl from his primary school so he gave her a big kiss Now he can't teach there anymore
- do you know what a casual youtube blogger and a primary school teacher have in common? suicidal thoughts
- I met a beautiful primary school teacher and asked her out on a date. "I can't, I'm married... ...and you're six"
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Primary School One Liners
Which primary school one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with primary school? I can suggest the ones about elementary school and public school.
- I met my girlfriend in primary school. I can't wait til she goes to college.
- Sherlock, what do they call primary school in America? Elementary, my dear Watson.
- I thought I was gay in primary school My biology teacher called me a Homosapien
- When Muslims die they get 72 virgins... I just go to the next primary school
Primary School Teacher Jokes
Here is a list of funny primary school teacher jokes and even better primary school teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm s**... attracted to one of my students I knew that becoming a primary school teacher was a bad career choice
Primary School Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about primary school you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kid school jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make primary school pranks.
A Muslim is about to commit s**... when a Catholic priest stops him
"What are you doing?!" Exclaims the priest
"There is nothing on this Earth for me." The Muslim says "I will commit s**... to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head
"Foolish Muslim, s**... is not the way!" He says
"Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school."
A group of primary school students were participating in a local spelling bee.
A keen young boy steps before the judges and is told, "Your word is spider."
Not quite sure as to how to spell it, the boy asks, "Could you please use it in a sentence?"
A judge replies, "A spider has eight eyes."
The boy then states, "S-P-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-E-R."
A teacher asks her primary school students what their father do for a living
"So, Timothy, what does your father do ?"
"My dad is a firefighter !"
"Fantastic ! And you Samantha, what does your father do ?"
" He's an accountant !"
"Wonderful ! And yours, Jimmy ?"
Poor little Jimmy then breaks into tears and wails "my father is dead !"
"Oh, I'm so sorry Jimmy, I didn't know... But did he do before dying ?"
"Well, he was all like : ARGLALRGHALRLALGALHA !"
One of my wife's primary School's student was wearing a Fitbit watch
One of my wife's primary School's student was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, Are you tracking your steps? No, said the little girl. I wear this for Mum so she can show Dad when he gets home.
So last week I had my driving test
Halfway through the test, we passed a primary school and unfortunately someone walked out into the road, took me completely by surprise. I was really upset that I'd failed my test, until the examiner assumed me that it was fine, it was only a minor.
A girl from my primary school sent me n**... the other day
The police deleted them after I was arrested.
In primary everyone in the school saw my e**..., it was so embarassing
So I pulled my pants up and drove home.
Half as mad
A teacher from primary school asks Peter a question,
Teacher: "Peter; suppose that a car is moving at a speed of 100 mph suddenly brakes and the driver flies out through the windshield at a certain force and lands on the road. What would be my age?"
Peter thought for a moment and replied,
Peter: " Sir, you would be 40 years old."
The teacher; perplexed looked at Peter and asked how could he guess his exact age.
Peter: "Sir, I have an older sister aged 20 and she is half as mad as you."
Johnny's math skills
The village priest pays a visit to the local primary school. After introducing himself and his church, he also wants to see how much the kids have learnt already and asks little Johnny: "So Johnny, if you have 8 appples and you give me 4, how many apples do you have left?" "4, Sir", little Johnny replies. "Very well done!", the priest responds. "And if you have 3 sausages and I give you an additional 5, how many sausages do you have then?" he questions little Johnny further. "Sir, this question I cannot answer, because we haven't calculated with sausages yet".
The Most Famous Man Who Ever Lived
One day at primary school, the teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give 50 cents to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."
An Irish lad put his hand up and said, "It's Bono!"
The teacher said, "Sorry, Sean, that's not correct."
Then a Scottish boy put up his hand and said, "It's Sean Connery!"
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Harry, that's not right either."
Finally, a little Jewish girl raised her hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."
The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Esther. Come up here and I'll give you your 50 cents.
As the teacher was giving Esther her money, she said, "You know Esther, you being Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."
Esther replied, "I know- in my heart it's Moses, but business is business."
A joke I've known since primary school.
A huge flood occured one day, and an entire town is swallowed up by the water.
A man driving a boat comes by a man that's trying to stay afloat.
**"Quick, get on my boat!",** he said.
The semi-drowning man replies that God will send him help and save him. And so the man left.
Another man comes by a boat and yell's at the man, "**Hey!** ^~~Listen!~~ **Get on my boat!"**
Once again, the man replies that God will send him help and save him.
And so the man left, and with that, the man drowns.
Upon death, the man wakes up in Heaven to see God.
He asks, **"God, why didn't you send me help?"**
God replies, **"What do you mean? I sent you two boats!"**
Blonde joke
What is the first nursery rhyme blondes learn in primary school?
A. h**... me dump me!!
Another Soviet Joke
In a small town outside Moscow a very proud primary school teacher began the Monday the same was she began every monday: by asking the students what they did to help their fellow comrads in the glorious Soviet Union. She turned to Illya Ivanovich.
"Illya Ivanovich, what did you do today to help the Collective?"
Illya thought a moment and replied, "Well, Katerina Maximovna, I helped an old woman cross the street."
"Wonderful," his teacher replied, "you truly helped your country. And you, Alexander Michaelovich, what did you do this weekend to help the Collective?"
"Well, you see Katerina Maximovna, I was helping Illya to help the old lady cross the street."
"OK. Good work. You certainly helped your nation and your fellow comrads." Katerina then looked at Dimitri Fyodorovich.
"And you, Dimitri Fyodorovich. What did you do this weekend to benefit the Collective?"
Dimitri thought for a moment, and then said, "Katerina Maximovna, you see, I was also helping Alexander and Illya to help the old woman across the street."
Katerina Maximovna paused a moment, and then with a confused look she said, "OK, Dimitri Fyodorovich, it is always good to help others. But I am confused. Why did it take three strong young boys to help one old babushka across the street?"
Dimitri thought for a moment and answered, "Well, you see, she didn't want to cross."