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Primary Jokes

75 primary jokes and hilarious primary puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about primary that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Find the best primary jokes! Whether you're a primary school teacher, a parent of a primary student, or just someone looking for a laugh, these jokes are sure to have you laughing. From presidential jokes to elemental puns, from primary school graduation jokes to Hillary jokes,we have it all. Check out our collection of primary jokes and let the hilarity ensue!

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Funniest Primary Short Jokes

Short primary jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The primary humour may include short prime jokes also.

  1. Wheel chair bound congressman Madison Cawthorn lost his primary tonight. Now it's not just his doctors telling him that he can no longer run.
  2. "I banged the hottest chick of my class and now the whole town is talking about it." ~ Walter, 52, primary school teacher
  3. The Republican primary race should be called "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" It's way too long, and the protagonists are becoming more juvenile as it goes on.
  4. What is the difference between an Afghanistani Primary School and a Taliban Base? What would I know, I am just a drone pilot.
  5. In a primary school... The teacher asks students to draw female reproductive system. A girl in the class puts her head down out of shyness. A boy looks at her and exclaims "Ma'am she's copying!".
  6. The growth of coronavirus in a given area is dependent on 2 primary factors: 1. How dense the population is
    2. How dense the population is
  7. I had a terrible cross-eyed teacher in primary schoool She could never keep her pupils under control.
  8. I can always tell by their eyes if someone is a primary school teacher They have small pupils.....
  9. Hillary Clinton's New Book Is Already A Bestseller, And It Isn't Even Out Yet Kinda like how she had won all those primaries before anyone got to cast a vote!
  10. What was the primary role of the aristocrats during the French revolution? They put their head into it.

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Primary One Liners

Which primary one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with primary? I can suggest the ones about principal and prior.

  1. What's a horse's primary concern when voting? A stable economy.
  2. I met my girlfriend in primary school. I can't wait til she goes to college.
  3. My spare hatchet is much worse than my primary at chopping There's a sharp contrast.
  4. Sherlock, what do they call primary school in America? Elementary, my dear Watson.
  5. TIL the primary reason of divorce is... Marriage
  6. What was the primary cause for the mass migration of Jews in Europe during WW2? The wind.
  7. Why was the Spanish train the primary suspect? It had locomotive.
    (I'm not sorry)
  8. I thought I was gay in primary school My biology teacher called me a Homosapien
  9. What would cause the primary model to fail? If the creator were to forget to rig it!
  10. My primary physician is really great She's clinically acclaimed
  11. Chuck Norris' primary weapon in Call of Duty is his roundhouse kick.
  12. When Muslims die they get 72 virgins... I just go to the next primary school
  13. America's primary export in 2 months Mexicans
  14. What is the primary job of an alligator? ...make allegations
  15. What's the primary side effect of hipsterhood in females? Spinsterhood.

Primary School Jokes

Here is a list of funny primary school jokes and even better primary school puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did little John Cena say to his primary school teacher when she gave him his report card? You can't C me!
  • How many Gestapo agents does it take to change a lightbulb? VE VILL ASK ZE QUESTIONS!!!!
    Courtesy of my brain throwing up random memories from primary school
  • My local council just installed a zebra crossing near the primary school What a waste of money, I've never even seen a zebra in this town
  • My friend fell in love with a girl from his primary school so he gave her a big kiss Now he can't teach there anymore
  • do you know what a casual youtube blogger and a primary school teacher have in common? suicidal thoughts
  • I met a beautiful primary school teacher and asked her out on a date. "I can't, I'm married... ...and you're six"
  • I'm s**... attracted to one of my students I knew that becoming a primary school teacher was a bad career choice
  • A girl from my primary school sent me n**... the other day The police deleted them after I was arrested.
  • In primary everyone in the school saw my e**..., it was so embarassing So I pulled my pants up and drove home.
  • Blonde joke What is the first nursery rhyme blondes learn in primary school?
    A. h**... me dump me!!
Primary joke, Blonde joke

Cheeky Primary Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about primary you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean major jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make primary pranks.

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.
($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

Birds can be dangerous. Do you know what's the primary risk that woodpeckers pose to women?

Splinters.

Right and Wrong

Mrs Cameron, a primary teacher, was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong.
"All right children, let's take an example," Mrs Cameron said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?"
Little Tony raises his hand, and with a confident smile says, "You'd be his wife."

A group of primary school students were participating in a local spelling bee.

A keen young boy steps before the judges and is told, "Your word is spider."
Not quite sure as to how to spell it, the boy asks, "Could you please use it in a sentence?"
A judge replies, "A spider has eight eyes."
The boy then states, "S-P-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-E-R."

Have you heard of the, great, ancient Greek philosopher Mediocrates?

His primary philosophical viewpoint is "eeeeehhh"

After the recent wave of Trump primary victories, what did Nancy Reagan request for her f**... before she died?

To be laid to rest beside the remains of the Republican party

Angry after the primary season, Jeb Bush had s**... with a h**..., hoping to give her gonorrhea...

Please clap.

Why did the bandit from Burma vote for Trump and Hillary to be the primary candidates?

Because, Master Wayne, some men just want to watch the world burn.

ISIS has reportedly acquired a s**... of cutting edge weapons technology from the Korean black market.

Recent photographs suggest that the technology is known to have an Iris Scanner, S Pen, a 12 MP primary camera and a really mindBLOWING battery life.

There was a thief

He was stealing primary color paint from hardware stores.
He was caught red-handed

Why do smart phones autocorrect smh as SMG (Submachine Gun)

The primary demographic is American students.

A Muslim is about to commit s**... when a Catholic priest stops him

"What are you doing?!" Exclaims the priest
"There is nothing on this Earth for me." The Muslim says "I will commit s**... to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head
"Foolish Muslim, s**... is not the way!" He says
"Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school."

Why is everyone criticising Aji Pai?

I've only ever known Aji Pai as an American attorney as the Chairman of United States FCC who makes the best decisions. Aji Pai has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.
($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

By launching a Tesla to Mars Space X has accomplished the primary goal of the Boring Company.

Avoiding LA traffic!

One day someone told me the only primary colors are red and yellow...

When he found out there was a third...it blue his mind

My dad said there's too much red, yellow and blue in my house.

That's not my primary concern right now.

So last week I had my driving test

Halfway through the test, we passed a primary school and unfortunately someone walked out into the road, took me completely by surprise. I was really upset that I'd failed my test, until the examiner assumed me that it was fine, it was only a minor.

The Canadian space program suffered a serious set back, today. During launch, there was a major malfunction in the primary propulsion system of the first stage vehicle.

The rubber band broke.

Why did the dyslexic conservative get destroyed in his primary?

He vowed to vote against Texas no matter what.

Breaking news! A group of ornithologists have recently published a study concerning the primary cause of death among Swallows:

Apparently, they don't chew their food.

When Trump communicates with the American people, he follows the primary rule of mushroom farming . . .

# "Keep 'em in the dark and feed 'em horsesh*t".

A teacher asks her primary school students what their father do for a living

"So, Timothy, what does your father do ?"
"My dad is a firefighter !"
"Fantastic ! And you Samantha, what does your father do ?"
" He's an accountant !"
"Wonderful ! And yours, Jimmy ?"
Poor little Jimmy then breaks into tears and wails "my father is dead !"
"Oh, I'm so sorry Jimmy, I didn't know... But did he do before dying ?"
"Well, he was all like : ARGLALRGHALRLALGALHA !"

I was going to vote in the primary, but I got to the polling place late...

....and I just had to sit in my car until my favorite song, "Tom Sawyer," ended.
But by the time I exited the vehicle, it was too late for me to enter the polling place. I'm really frustrated because it's not the first time that has happened to me.
I'm so sick of Rush's interference in our elections!

One of my wife's primary School's student was wearing a Fitbit watch

One of my wife's primary School's student was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, Are you tracking your steps? No, said the little girl. I wear this for Mum so she can show Dad when he gets home.

A Dr. Of marine biology was inspired to create a new beverage.

Dr. Marcus Opor, renowned marine biologist and ocean sustainability expert, experimented with a brewed beverage with skipjack tuna as its primary ingredient. He spent years alternating its composition, striving for a balance of savory and rich ocean flavors. At last, he perfected his "tea", and was ready to bring it to market.
Dr. Opor made a single sample of his piscine tea and brought it to Costco to perform a taste test. Sadly, nobody was interested in his tuna beverage and it was thrown out.
It was a wasted Opor tuna tea.

Primary joke, A Dr. Of marine biology was inspired to create a new beverage.

jokes about primary