Priest Jokes

These are the 152 priest jokes and hilarious priest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about priest that are good jokes for kids and friends.

No profession is entirely exempted from the reach of humor, not even the solemn world of priesthood. A touch of tasteful and respectful hilarity has a way of humanizing all walks of life, and our compilation of priest jokes does just that.

Ideal for enhancing camaraderie among church communities, adding a dash of levity to a serious sermon, or simply for sharing during a friendly conversation, these jokes are sure to evoke a chuckle while respecting sanctity and faith. Even in spiritual discourse, humor has its place to connect, engage, and share the joy of togetherness.

So, let's journey through our collection of tasteful clerical quips, guaranteed to bring a little light-hearted laughter to your day. Remember, faith and fun can — and do — go hand in hand!

Quick Jump To

Short Priest Jokes
Priest One Liners
Catholic Priest Jokes
Priest And Rabbi Jokes
A Priest Walks Into A Bar Jokes
Priest And Nun Jokes
Priest Rabbi Minister Jokes
More Priest Jokes

Best Short Priest Jokes

These are our top priest puns. Have fun with a good priest joke in English with simple priest humour.

What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? "Let us prey."
When I was younger, the local priest told me that I was the prettiest boy he'd ever seen. I was touched.
Police officer pulls over 2 Catholic priests. Says he's looking for two child molesters. Catholic priests looking at each other: We'll do it!
My priest is surprisingly homophobic... ...for a man who spends his nights on his knees, begging for another man to come for a second time.
Have you seen the new Exorcist movie? This time it's the devil trying to get the priest out of the child.
A priest, a Baptist minister, and a rabbit walk into the Red Cross to donate blood The nurse asks, what's your blood type?
The rabbit says, "I'm probably a Type O"
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits untill a boy's 12 before it comes on his face.
I'm not sure churches are the best places for PokèStops... a priest just asked me in and offered me a Slowpoke
A priest, a lawyer, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank... ... and the nurse asks, "what types are you?"
The rabbit says, "I'm probably a Type O."
Why are priests from Finland so good at Mortal Kombat? They're especially well-versed in Finnish hymns.

Priest joke, Why are priests from Finland so good at Mortal Kombat?

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these priest jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of priest puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Priest One Liners

Which priest dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with priest?

What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law
Why are catholic priests called father? Because "daddy" would be too suspicious
Forgive me father, priest, preacher, reverend, for I have synonymed.
Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest. For I have synonymed.
What do you call a Mexican fighting a Priest? (slightly offensive) alien vs. Predator
What do you call a priest who always lies? A pathological friar.
What do you call a priest that becomes an attorney? Father-in-Law.
You don't need to die as a muslim to get 72 virgins Just be a catholic priest
What does a priest put on salad? Lettuce spray
what kind of meat does a priest eat on fridays? Nun.
"I've made a lot of sacrifices to get to where I am today," said the Aztec high priest.
How did the priest find the little boy in the tall grass? Delightful
I just found my friend has a secret life as a priest It's his altar ego
I just found out that my friend has a secret life as a priest. It's his altar ego.
I was gonna tell a priest joke... But it would probably rub some kids the wrong way.

Catholic Priest Jokes

Here is a list of funny catholic priest jokes and even better catholic priest puns that will make you laugh with friends.

A Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic church The Priest says " you can't be here!". The particle replies "you can't have mass without me
What do the Zika Virus and Catholic Priests have in common? They're both giving kids a little head all over Latin America.
Why are Catholic priests always referred to as "father"? Because "daddy" would make it too obvious...
What's the difference between a coal mining company and catholic priests? A coal mining company puts miners in shafts.
How do you advertise a boxing match between a Hispanic construction worker, and a Catholic priest. Alien vs predator
Why are catholic priests adressed as "father"? "Daddy" would be too obvious.
What the difference between a catholic priest and a pimple? Pimples wait until puberty to come on your face.
Whats the difference between a muslim and a catholic priest? The muslim has to die before he gets his virgins.
Why is acne better than a catholic priest? At least acne waits till a kid is 14 to come on his face.
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a Zit? A zit will wait till your twelve years old to come on your face.

Priest And Rabbi Jokes

Here is a list of funny priest and rabbi jokes and even better priest and rabbi puns that will make you laugh with friends.

A priest, a rabbi, and a chicken walk into a bar. The bartender says "Nope! We don't do jokes here, get out!"
And the chicken says, "Come on guys, I know a place across the street."
A Rabbi and a Priest run out of a burning school. The Priest stops and says,"What about the children?"
The Rabbi replies,"Screw the children!"
The Priest asks,"Do you think we have time?"
A rabbi, a priest, and an atheist walk into a bar. The bartender sees them and says, "What is this, a joke?!"
A Priest and a Rabbi Are walking down a street. They see a 13 yr old boy walking towards them
The Priest says "Let's take him down this alley and screw him"
The Rabbi says "Out of what?"
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street together, and they both want a drink, but they have no money on them.
What's the difference between a rabbi, a priest, and a gay man The rabbi says Amain
The priest says Amen
And the gay man says ahh, men
A priest, an Imam, and a Rabbi walk into a bar... The bartender looks up and says: "What is this, some kinda joke?"
Clergy A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a bar.
The priest asks, "Want to screw some alter boys?"
And the rabbi responds, "out of what?"
A priest, a rabbi and penguin walk into a bar IT'S THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi are watching a little boy play... The Priest says, "I want to screw him." The Rabbi says, "Out of what?"

A Priest Walks Into A Bar Jokes

Here is a list of funny a priest walks into a bar jokes and even better a priest walks into a bar puns that will make you laugh with friends.

A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit What can I get you to drink .
The rabbit says I have no idea, I'm only here because of autocorrect .
A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit "what'll ya have?" The rabbit replies, "I dunno... I'm just here because of autocorrect."
An atheist a priest and a rabbit walk into a bar. And the rabbit says: Guys, I'm pretty sure I'm a typo.
A Priest a rabbit and a Minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit,what'll you have? The rabbit says" I don't know I'm only here because of auto correct".
A racist, a sexist and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender says: "Hey Bill, drinking alone tonight?"
A priest, a nun and some random dude walks into a bar They ask for a few coronas, hurricanes, and fireballs.
The bartender says "that'll be 2020"
A priest, a monk and a rabbit walk into a bar. "What'll ya have?" asks the bartender. "I don't know" says the rabbit. "I'm only here because of autocorrect".
A priest and a rabbit walk into a bar The bartender says "I think someone has made a typo here."
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says, "I think I'm a typo."
A Rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar The bartender asks - is this some kind of joke?

Priest And Nun Jokes

Here is a list of funny priest and nun jokes and even better priest and nun puns that will make you laugh with friends.

Who won the race between the priest and the nun? It was the priest, because he "pastor" a while back.
I just came up with this one at the breakfast table for those who are curious.
A Priest, a Rabbi, a Nun, two gorillas, a leopard, a horse, two turtles, and a dragonfly walk into a bar. Bartender yells, What is this, some sort of joke?
What kind of fun do priests have? Nun
How much fun did the priest have at the weekend ? Nun
Did you hear about the priest who got caught kissing a nun? He was let off with a warning not to get into the habit.
A priest was scolding a nun for exposing herself to the congregation multiple times... She replied with: "I can't help it, I have a bad habit."
How many Women Priest are there? Nun.
A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"
My parents are really religious My dad is a priest and my mom is a nun
A priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a drug deal Drug dealers: "It's a set up!"

Priest Rabbi Minister Jokes

Here is a list of funny priest rabbi minister jokes and even better priest rabbi minister puns that will make you laugh with friends.

A Priest, A Rabbi, and A Minister All Had to Go to the Hospital They got alcohol poisoning from going to the bar so much
A blind man walks into a bar Then into the priest, the rabbi, the minister, then into a table and into a chair.
A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... The bartender says "If you're not freaking out about Net Neutrality right now, you're not paying attention."
I recently had a wakeup call when I had a priest, then a rabbi, then a minister all tell me I had a drinking problem. Boy, I'm glad they all walked into that bar when they did.
Another tale from the bar. A priest, a rabbi, a minister, a monkey, and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"
A man walks into a parallel universe and sits down at the bar. In comes a priest, a rabbi and a minister
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are all in a rowboat. Despite their differences, they have a lovely afternoon.
A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a library.... The librarian stops them. "What, do you think this is a BAR?"
A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
*No, wait...*

Priest joke, A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar.

Cheerful Fun Priest Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about priest to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make priest prank.

A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital.

He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses.
Am I in heaven? asks the disoriented priest.
No says one of the nurses. We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward.

Apparently as a 4-year old, h**... was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.

Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

Irishman in confession

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies, "Get out. You're on my side."

A priest and a pastor...

... are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, 'The end is near! Turn around now before it's too late!'
They hold up the sign to cars passing by.
"Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" yells the first driver as he speeds by.
From around the curve they hear screeching tires and a big splash.
"Do you think," says the priest to the pastor, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests...

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest says, "No, son, you're not." So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest says, "No, son, you're not." The drunk says, "Look, I can prove it." He walks back into the bar with the two priests. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?"

A little girl is attending her first wedding...

And as the priest is reading the vows, she leans over to her mother and whispers, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explains, "and today is the happiest day in her life."
The child ponders this for a moment and then asks, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

What do you call an i**... immigrant and a catholic priest fighting?

Alien VS Predator

Three nuns are gossiping about a priest.

The first nun said, "I was going through father's desk and found pornographic magazines in his drawer."
The second nun gasped and asked, "What did you do with them?"
"I burned them."
The second nun then said, "I was going through father's drawers and found a box of condoms."
The first nun gasped and asked, "What did you do with them?"
"I poked holes in them."
The third nun fainted.

Two priests are out driving one day..

when they get pulled over by a police officer.
The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver
"Sorry to pull you over father, but we're looking for a couple of child molesters"
The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says;
"Alright officer, we'll do it"

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests.

He says "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest says "no son you're not." The drunk turns to the other priest, "I'm jesus Christ" to which the second priest replies "no son you're not." So the drunk says "Look I'll show you." So he walks back into the bar with the two priests. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says "Jesus Christ you're here again?"

My son came home from school absolutely ecstatic about gay marriage being legalised today.

"Why are you so happy?" I asked him, "Have you even got a boyfriend?"
He scowled at me and just said "It's the principle Dad"
"Really?" I replied "Well, at least it's not the priest again".

Did you hear about the guy who had to be exorcised?

He couldn't pay the priest afterwards and got repossessed.

Catholic girl goes into confessional

Catholic girl goes into the confessional & says to the priest,
"I think I am pregnant."
He asks, "How did this happen my child?"
"I think it must be the second coming," she replies.
The priest shocked by this statement asks, "What makes you think it
is the second coming?"
She replies, "Because I swallowed the first."

Man goes to a wizard

A man goes to see a wizard and says:
"Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"
"Maybe," says the wizard, "Can you remember the exact words of the curse?"
The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."

A joke I heard at mass

A priest is baptizing a man. He dips him 3 times in water and says "Craig, from now on you will be known as Michael. From this day forth you are to shed your sinful ways and that includes no more gambling or alcohol"
The man later that day goes home and heads straight for the fridge. He then grabs a can of coors light and dips it in the sink. As he does it he says "from this day on, you will be known as green tea"

A drunk walks up to two priests.

He says "I'm Jesus Christ." The priest shakes his head. "No son, you're not." The drunk goes up to the second priest. "I'm Jesus Christ."
The second priest gives the same answer.
The drunk glares at them for a second. "Look I can prove it. Follow me." He leads them to a bar and walks inside. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Jesus Christ, you're here again?!"

A little boy is hit by a bus...

...and things are not looking good. So an old lady leans over and says to the boy:
"Son you got hit pretty bad, I know it's hard to hear the truth but I'm afraid you might meet Jesus soon. Would you like to see a priest?"
To which the little boy replies:
"How can you think about s**... in a time like this?"

Three priests walk into a bar

and see a man whos already had a few drinks. The man walks up to them and says "you know I'm jesus christ". One of the priests replies "I don't think you are son" so the man says right, I'll prove it to you. He walks out of the bar and a few seconds later comes stumbling back in. The barman sees him and shout "jesus christ not you again"

Two priests are out driving and get pulled over

The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver Sorry to pull you over father, but we're looking for a couple of child molesters
The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says—
Alright officer, we'll do it

I was in the confessional booth today and I asked the priest if he thought it might be a good idea to stop m**....

He said Sure, if it bothers you, I'll stop.

I don't see why you would become an Islamic fundamentalist s**... bomber on the off chance that when you die you get 72 virgins.

Just become a Catholic priest and get them now.

m**...

An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest m**....
He said, "What are you doing father?"
"It's called m**...," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why father?" he asked.
"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.

Catholic

Three old Catholic men and one old Catholic woman were sitting a a table one morning. The first old man said, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room people say Father." The second old man said, "My son is a Bishop, when he walks into a room people say Your Eminence." Third old man says, my son is the Pope, when he walks into a room people say Your Holiness." The old woman says,"My daughter has a 42 inch chest and a 24 inch waist, when she walks into a room people say 'JESUS'."

A church has a rat problem

The church doesn't want to kill the rats so they trap them and release them far away, but the next day they are back.
Next they try ask them politely to leave, still they won't budge.
Finally the priest has one last idea, he baptized all the rats.
Now they only come at Christmas and Easter.

A priest and a pastor are standing on the side of the road

They are holding a sign that reads "The end is near! Turn around now before it's too late!"
A passing driver yells, "You guys are nuts!" and speeds past them.
From around the corner they can hear screeching tires- then a big splash.
The priest turns to the pastor and says, "Do you think we should just put a sign up that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"

Boy goes to confession and tells the priest he has been with a girl of loose morals.

"That's a grievous sin," the priest says. "Tell me: Was it Mary O'Hara?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kate Dannaher?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kathleen McGonigle?"
"No, Father. I don't want to say who it was."
Later, as the boy leaves the church, he sees a friend, who asks him, "How'd it go?"
He answers, "Well, I got ten Hail Marys, five Our Fathers... and three great leads."

An Irish priest is driving along a country road when a police man pulls him over.

He immediately smells alcohol on the priest's breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car.
He says: "Have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The cop replies: "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says: "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

An elderly man walks into confession and says...

Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and eleven healthy grandchildren, and last night I had an affair with two 18 year old girls. I made love with both of them… twice.
The priest said, Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?
Never Father… I'm Jewish.
So then, why are you telling me?
I'm telling everybody!

A priest, a p... and a r... walk into a bar

And that was just the first guy

A Muslim is about to commit s**... when a Catholic priest stops him

"What are you doing?!" Exclaims the priest
"There is nothing on this Earth for me." The Muslim says "I will commit s**... to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head
"Foolish Muslim, s**... is not the way!" He says
"Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school."

A horse walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse screams, "I will end you!" And bites the bartender in the t**.... A priest, a nun, and a rabbi who were just approaching the entrance quietly turn and walk away as the horse shakes the bartender vigorously back and forth screaming, "why the floppy head?! Why the floppy head?!"

Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.

The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."

A guy gets thrown out of a bar.

Two priests approach the guy that was thrown out. He looks at the first priest and says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest shakes his head.
The guy looks at the second priest and says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The second priest also shakes his head.
"Okay, let me prove it to you." The guy walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, "Jesus Christ, you're back already?"

I asked my priest if it might be a good idea to stop m**...

##
## But he wouldn't.

Yesterday I sinned with an 18year old girl.

Man to his priest: Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.
The priest: Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.
Man: And that frees me from my sin?
Priest: No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

A m**... is to be executed by electric chair and the priests asks if he has any last request.

The man asks for the priest to hold his hand. Needless to say, the priest was shocked.

Three priests gathered together for a drink .

During their get together ,the host ask the other two :

- How do you split your money with the Lord ?
"I draw a line on the floor in my church ,then ,i throw the money in the air ,whatever is on my side I get to keep ,whatever falls on his side he keeps it" sais the first priest.
The second one replies "well I draw circle and then I' throw the money in the air ,whatever falls inside the circle is mine ,whatever Falls outside the circle is His" .
"How do you split your money ?" they both ask the host priest.
I' just throw the money in the air and he keeps whatever he wants.

I've never really understood it why would you become an Islamic s**... bomber on the off-chance you might get 72 virgins when you die.

Become a Catholic priest and get them now.

Which bible verse does a priest say often to the altar boy?

**Psalm 81:10.**

**....** open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

A man goes to see a wizard and says, "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"

Maybe," says the wizard, "Can you remember the exact words of the curse?"
The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."

Four catholic ladies are talking about how important there sons are. (Long)

The first one tells her friends my son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'
The second Catholic woman chirps, while my son is a bishop, when he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'
The third Catholic woman says smugly, Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence.'
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her a subtle well.....?
She replies, My son is a charismatic, 6'2 , hard-bodied male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, My God.

A priest, an atheist, and a rabbit walk into a blood donor tent

The rabbit says "I might be a type O"

A drunk man

A drunk man stumbles out of bar and runs into 2 priest. The drunk man looks at the 1st priest and says,
"Hey, I'm Jesus Christ."
The 1st priest tells the man, "No, my son, you're not."

Then the man turns to the 2nd priest and says the same thing. "Hey, I'm Jesus Christ."
The 2nd priest tells the man, "No, my son, you're not."
The drunk man tells the priests that he can prove it. So he takes the 2 priests into the bar and the bartender says,
"Jesus Christ. You're back again?"

My p**... smoking college roommate decided to choose Theology as his major.

He's now a high priest.

In a confession booth...

ME: I committed all seven deadly sins in 30 minutes.
PRIEST: Wow I gotta hear this.
ME: I was angry and envious at my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and I didn't share.
PRIEST: You forgot pride.
ME: No, Im pretty proud of this.

A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walk in to a blood donation clinic

The nurse asked the rabbit, What's your blood type?
I'm probably a type-O said the rabbit.

A Higgs boson walks into a church, goes into the confessional and tells the priest that he's thinking of leaving the church

The priest says, my son, you can't leave the church!
The Higgs boson replies but I must, I am having a real crisis of faith!
The priest says, you don't understand, if you leave then we can't have mass!

Priest: Don't drink too much liquor. You will go to h**....

Alcoholic - Really? What about the guy who sells the liquor? Priest - He will also go to h**.... Alcoholic - Ok, what about the girl who sells Al Pastor tacos, and put's out in the food truck outside the Liquor Store? Priest - She too will go to h**.... Alcoholic - In that case, I have no problem going to h**....

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned..."

Me: "I can't stop singing b**... Ladies."
Priest: "How long has it been since your last confession?"
Me: "It's been..."

A Priest working in a remote parish in Greenland gets his yearly visit from his Bishop.

The Bishop asks him, "How are you managing with the loneliness?"
The Priest responds, " If it wasn't for my Rosary and my whiskey, I couldn't make it. Would you like a shot of whiskey?"
The Bishop nods his head yes.
The Priest yells out, "Hey Rosary, bring us two shots of whisky "

A Rabbi and his friend, a Catholic priest, were having a discussion

when the rabbi asked "Could you ever be promoted withing your church?"
The priest responded, "Well, one day, I hope to become a bishop."
The rabbi asked, "And then?"
The priest though for a second and responded, "Well, then I might become a cardinal."
The rabbi again asked, "And then?"
The priest again pondered the question before responding "Then I would become Pope!"
The rabbi, still unsatisfied, asked "And then?"
The priest, exasperated, cried "What else could I become? God Himself!?"
The rabbi quietly responded "One of our boys made it"

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk in to deliver blood.

The priest says- I'm a type A
The minister says- I'm a type B
The rabbit says- I think I'm a typo

A priest, a lawyer and an engineer are to be guillotined.

The priest puts his head on the block, the rope is pulled but nothing happens. He claims he has been saved by divine intervention and is released.
The lawyer puts his head on the block, but again, nothing happens, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and is set free.
The engineer places his head under the guillotine. He looks up at the release mechanism and says:
'Wait a minute, I see your problem...'

A priest is being chased through the woods by a hungry bear.

As the priest is running, he makes an impassioned plea to God: Oh please God, in your infinite wisdom and mercy, turn this bear into a good Christian!
Before he can get another word out, he trips over a log and goes sprawling. The bear catches up and approaches the terrified priest. Rising up on its hind legs, it puts its paws together, and says
Lord, thank you for this meal that I am about to receive.

A priest is walking through Kings Cross (a rough area of town), when a woman approached him and says

"Do you want a naughty? 200 bucks."
"Certainly not," he mutters and hurries on. Soon he passed near another woman who says "$200 for a naughty. Interested?"
"No thank you," he replies flusteredly.
As he comes near a third woman she again offers him a naughty for $200, which he of course refuses. Arriving back at the abbey, he happens upon the Mother Superior. Curiosity gets the better of him and he asks, "Mother...er...what's a naughty?
She replies "Two hundred dollars, just like in Kings Cross."

A 70 year old man goes to confession and says "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I had s**... with two beautiful, 20 year old women who are not my wife".

The Priest says "I see. How long has it been since your last confession?"
The man says "I've never been to confession, I'm Jewish".
"You're Jewish?" the priest asks, puzzled. "Why are you telling me?"
"I'm telling everyone!"

A man and a woman meet in heaven and fall in love.

They walk up to God and ask to be married.
God says give me some time and I'll get back to you.
Three or four years pass and God finally tells the man and woman that he can have them married.
A few more years pass and the man and woman fall out of love. They approach God once more and this time they ask for a divorce.
God responds, "It took me four years to find a priest in this place. How long do you think it'll take me to find a lawyer?!"

War

A Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his Priest.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a Jewish man in my attic.
Well, answered the Priest, That's not a sin.
But I made him pay me 20 gulden for each week he stayed. The Dutchman said.
The Priest replied, I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause.
The Dutchman exclaimed Oh thank you Father; that eases my mind. Father, I have one more question.
What is it son? ask the priest.
The Dutchman whispered Do I have to tell him the war is over?

A priest was hiking in the woods when suddenly a mountain lion appeared…..

…. readyto devour the man whole.
The priest quickly falls to his knees, looks up to the heavens and prays, "Dear God, please teach this lion mercy and give him religion." A chorus of angels is heard as a beam of light shines down on the mountain lion.
The lion then drops to his knees, looks up to heavens and prays, "Dear God, bless you for this food I'm about to receive."

A priest is walking around looking for the supermarket.

He sees a drug addict sitting on the ground and asks him for directions.
The addict shows him the way and goes back to his spot on the ground.
The priest starts to head his way but his heart goes out to the poor man so he returns to him.
"Young man I see that you are struggling, let me help you find your way to heaven"
The addict looks him up and down and says "Dude, you couldn't find the supermarket! You expect me to follow you to heaven?"

A catholic priest, a predator and a criminal walk into a bar

He ordered a beer

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

The impact of these priest jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.