Priest And Altar Boy Jokes
40 priest and altar boy jokes and hilarious priest and altar boy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about priest and altar boy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Priest And Altar Boy Short Jokes
Short priest and altar boy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The priest and altar boy humour may include short priest and nun jokes also.
- Two altar boys are hoping to work in a church. They are walking down the aisle in the church when the priest sees them. He walks up to them and says, "Gee, I've never come across your faces before."
- A priest and a rabbi are at a wedding... the priest sees an altar boy, and says, "man I'd really like to screw him." The rabbi responds by saying, "out of what?"
- Why do Priests screw altar boys Because nothing should be tighter than an altar boy's bond with god
- How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw the light bulb and the other to screw the altar boy in the corner!
- I went to Church for the first time last week. I asked my cousin: "So, when does the Priest do his magic trick?"
"What?"
"You know, making the altar boy disappear under his robe." - An altar boy goes into the confessional and says "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." To which the priest replies "No need to be so formal. Just call me Daddy."
- so my brother noticed that his church uses girls as "altar boys" i had to tell him that not all priests are gay.
- A priest, a bishop, and a pontiff are all in a church when they came across the altar boy.
- What's the difference between concrete and a catholic priest? One is inside altar and the other one is inside altar boy.
- Which bible verse does a priest say often to the altar boy? **Psalm 81:10.**
**....** open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Priest And Altar Boy One Liners
Which priest and altar boy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with priest and altar boy? I can suggest the ones about two priests and priest.
- What do wine and altar boys have in common? Catholic priests like them aged eight years
- How do you castrate a priest? Punch an altar boy in the back of the head
- How do you get a priest to sleep with a nun? You dress her up like an altar boy
- I see myself in you. Whispered the priest from behind the altar boy.
- I priest emotionally scared me as a child He cheated on me with another altar boy
- Why do priests have s**... with altar boys? Otherwise, they're getting nun.
- What did the priest say to the altar boy who liked chickens c**...-a-d**...-you
- Why did the priest have s**... with the altar boy? Better than nun.
Comical & Quirky Priest And Altar Boy Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about priest and altar boy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean priest and rabbi jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make priest and altar boy pranks.
Joey the altar boy goes to confession and says...
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.
"Well, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.'
A kid goes to church to confess...
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
The Priest and the Altar Boy
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.'
During a church's 100th anniversary celebration, the local priest invited former priests and the bishop to attend.
At one point, he called the children to gather at the altar and spoke to them about the significance of the day.
He began by asking them, 'Does anyone know what the bishop does?'
There was silence. Finally a little boy responded in a serious tone, "He's the one you can move diagonally."
One morning a man came into the church on crutches
He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, then threw away his crutches.
An altar boy witnessed the scene, then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen.
"Son, you've just witnessed a miracle," the priest said. "Tell me, where is this man now?"
"Flat on his a**... over by the holy water."
local parish
The head priest at a certain church was out for the day, so he asked the deacon to do confession for him. The deacon agrees, and the first person that comes says, "Forgive me, for I just gave a guy a b**...." He says, "You have sinned."
Then he looks at the sheet on the wall that had punishments for certain sins on it, but b**... was not on there, so he went out to ask one of the altar boys what he usually gives for a b**.... The altar boy answered, "Oh, about five dollars."
In Catholicism, you can only have s**... with your partner when you are married. So if priests are married to God, they can have s**... with God.
And sometimes they cheat on God with altar boys.
A Muslim and a Catholic priest walk into a bar.
The two start talking casually about their respective religions. The Muslim says, "I believe that when I die, Allah will bless me with 72 virgins."
The priest's eyes get wide. "Really? That would be awesome, but unfortunately the church can only have 3 altar boys at a time."
Man walks into a Catholic church at night
To his surprise, two priests walk up to excitedly greet him.
"Hello!" Says the other. "I am Paul Unch, and this is Liam Ine, we're the priests here. If you'll walk this way-"
"Hold up", says the man. "P. Unch and L. Ine? I'm in a s**... joke, right?"
"O-h**...!" exclaims Ine. "You got us!"
"Alright, screw this. I'm leaving." And he walks out in a huff.
"Well, that got rid of him", said Ine. "Paul, get the altar boys back in."
Why were the altar boys sticking their d**... in the snow?
The priest likes to have a couple of cold ones after work.
The Deacon
Why did the priest tell the altar boy to clear his room?
Because he wanted to bring the d**...-in
A priest is doing confessional and really has to go to the bathroom.
While he's in between people, he notices the janitor outside the confessional booth.
**Priest:** "Hey John, come sit in here for me for a second while I use the restroom, please."
**John the janitor:** "Yes Father, no problem."
As the janitor is waiting for the priest to return, a woman enters the confessional booth.
**Woman:** "Forgive me father, for I have sinned."
The janitor nervously proceeds, "What did you do?"
**Woman:** "I gave a b**... to a married man."
As the janitor is struggling to come up with how to respond, he sees an altar boy walking through the church.
**John the janitor:** "Hey Timmy, what does Father Angelo normally give for a b**...?"
**Timmy:** "A bag of chips and a coke."
An altar boy enters the box to confess...
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.' Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's holiday and five excellent Leads.'
An Italian Boy's Confession:
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.' Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.'
