Pride Jokes
151 pride jokes and hilarious pride puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pride that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get your laughs with these hilarious pride jokes including Texas pride, lion pride and more! Whether you're looking for a joke about patriotism or conceit, you'll find the proudest jokes around. There's something for everyone in this collection of Pride and Prejudice gags and puns.
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Funniest Pride Short Jokes
Short pride jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pride humour may include short humility jokes also.
- My wife beamed at me with pride and said, Wow! I never thought our son would go that far! I said, This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter.
- I wish my college was run by EA At least I'd get a sense of pride and accomplishment for my money
- EA have been hit by ransomware and need to pay up to $7,000,000 hacker claim they want EA to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment when they finally unlock their information
- "Proud Boys" should change their name, to avoid being tied to PRIDE events... ... to something like "Reigning Men."
- Even now, all this time later, we have to remain calm about the Net Neutrality thing... Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.
- I knew my dad would start having a rant when I informed him I was going to a pride event. "You're an impala, they'll eat you", he kept screaming.
- Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea. Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"
- Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing... Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.
- Which days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are week days.
My daughter just told me this joke and I'm busting with pride. - People always told my dad that his pride would be the death of him and sure enough, he was eaten by his favorite lion just last Wednesday
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Pride One Liners
Which pride one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pride? I can suggest the ones about proud and honor.
- Have you heard of the Saudi Arabia gay pride anthem? We will, we will rock you!
- I completely misunderstood Pride month… Anyway, who wants to buy 12 lions?
- What happened to the overconfident lion-tamer? He was consumed by his own pride.
- I capture lions for a living... I guess you could say I take pride in my work.
- Why do gay people have parade in June? Because Pride comes before the fall!
- Pride Month should be celebrated in September. As we know, Pride cometh before the Fall.
- Why did the buffalo farmer go to the pride parade? He had a bison.
- What happens when a lion becomes a cannibal? He swallows his pride...
- Why do lions only mate in the summer? Because the pride cometh before the fall
- Pride is like the summer... It comes before the fall.
- Completely misunderstood pride month. Does anyone want to buy 15 lions?
- Which of the7 deadly sins are lions guilty of? Pride!!
- What do you call a group of homosexual lions? gay pride
- I completely misunderstood pride month... Who wants to buy 15 lions?
- What was the anthem of Saudi Arabia's first LGBT pride parade? We Will Rock You.
Lion Pride Jokes
Here is a list of funny lion pride jokes and even better lion pride puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Today I was turned away from an LGBTQ organized event. To think I thought they were inclusive. This is the last time I take my pack of lions to a pride parade.
- Just found out that male lions sometimes engage in homosexual behavior. Must have a lot of gay pride.
- Did you hear about the conceited, cannibalistic lion? He swallowed his pride.
- A lion who's been removed from its family.. ..has been stripped of it's pride.
- Did you hear about the cannibalistic lion? He swallowed his pride.
- My friend has a unique ability; he can always tell if there are lions near by. He's got a great sense of pride.
- Did you hear about what happened to the lion Tamer? He was killed by his own pride
- Why did the lion cross the road? To get to the other pride
- If a group of lions is called pride, what do you call a group of humans? Prejudice.
- How did the lion feel after becoming a cannibal? Full of pride.
Pride Lions Jokes
Here is a list of funny pride lions jokes and even better pride lions puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- All of the lions went missing from my local zoo The zoo's ok, they lost nothing but their pride.
- Some lions just escaped a nature reserve in South Africa They were rejected from their group.
They could maybe ask to be let in the group again
But their pride wouldn't let them. - Why was the lions stomach enormous? Because he finally swallowed his pride
- Did you hear about the gay lion? He swallowed his own pride
- I'd brag about my pride... But I'd be lion.
- I once ate an entire family of lions I was filled with pride.
- Why did the lion cross the Savannah? To get to the other pride.
- TIL a tiger would chase down your vehicle leaving his family behind, but a lion would never do that. Because it would hurt his pride
- Did you hear about the zookeeper who failed miserably by letting his lions escape? He lost his pride.
- Did you hear about the stubborn lion who refused to resort to cannibalism? He ended up swallowing his pride.
Pride Month Jokes
Here is a list of funny pride month jokes and even better pride month puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why is Pride month in the summer, rather than during the autumn season? Because the Pride comes before the fall.
- I'm just okay during Pride Month. But just wait until sloth Month. Or Gluttony Month. That's my time to shine.
- Why is the pride lasting an entire month? I mean it's one month straight so it doesn't really make sense…
- I tried watching LGBT movies to celebrate Pride month but I need to pay extra for LGBT Plus
- Pride month should really be moved to August... Because pride cometh before the Fall
- I was gonna tell a 'hetero' joke for the last day of pride month.... But I couldn't keep a straight face.
- When is Asexual Pride Month? Every month if you're married.
- Why is gay pride month in the summer? Because pride cometh before the fall
- I'm still confused what Pride Month is all about... I tried googling for it but couldn't get a straight answer.
- On pride month, the trans man spoke about how free he felt after his surgery. It was like a huge weight off his chest.
Pride And Prejudice Jokes
Here is a list of funny pride and prejudice jokes and even better pride and prejudice puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife suggested I should read Pride and Prejudice, but I said no. I'm too good for it, and I have a feeling it'll try to lecture me.
- They polled Britons on their favorite Jane Austen novel 52% prefer Pride & Prejudice to Sense & Sensibility
- I'll never read pride & prejudice I'm way to good to get into a book that probably goes all preachy on me
- My wife insists I should read Pride and Prejudice , but I said no. I'm too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book will lecture me.
- Brexit was similar to choosing your favorite Jane Austen novel. Pride and Prejudice defeated Sense and Sensibility.
- My Gran's favourite is pride and prejudice. Not the book.
- I don't think I like the sound of the sequel to Pride and Prejudice! Proud and Racist
Gather Around for Fun Pride Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about pride you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean glory jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pride pranks.
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...
I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"
What do you call a same-s**... lion o**...?
Gay Pride.
America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars...
America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars as the country watched with pride. Iran, wanting to gain a technological/global edge, decided to show up America by announcing a manned mission to the sun the very next day. The Americans, along with other western allies, decided to meet with the Iranian government to express their concern. In a conference room filled with diplomats and astrophysicists, the US delegation protested to the Iranians, Listen. Differences aside, we can't let you send people to the sun. It's s**.... They burn to death even at far distances! Please don't carry out this mission! The Iranians laughed wittily amongst themselves, jabbing each other with elbows and pointing at the westerners as one Iranian says, s**... Americans! They think we're going during the daytime!
I have a friend who everyone knows is gay but he won't admit it.
He'll s**... everything but his pride.
It takes a long time for a giraffe...
...to s**... its pride.
Its not a profession.
Two people meet at a bar and start talking about work.
The first person says 'so mate, what do you do for a living?'
The second, aroggently puffs out his chest and full of pride says with a smirk 'I sir happen to be an artist'
To which the first person reply's 'hey that's ironic I'm unemployed as well!'
What's green, white, and orange and only appears once a year?
Irish pride
How does a woman destroy a mans pride with 4 words?
Is it in yet?
How does a man destroy a womans pride with 4 words?
I don't know.
They say male lions will often turn to cannibalism when they're desperate for food.
They just have to s**... their pride.
Why aren't lions cannibals?
They can't s**... their pride.
Take pride in what you're into, if thats exponents, well...
More power to ya!
What did the cannibalistic lion do?
s**... his pride.
What is the hardest part about admitting you are a gay lion?
Having to s**... your pride.
c**...
Many years ago
Just before leaving to meet my first real girlfriend,
My Dad pulled me into his bedroom,
He opened his bedside drawer and handed me a c**....
With a wink he said, 'Take care, Son, I'm proud of you'
To this day I'm not sure what was worse:
My Dad's knowledge and pride in what I was about to do,
or
Having used a c**... that was intended for my Mother.
A frog and his froggy son go to a restaurant...
The young frog has been having trouble eating food, and not much seemed to help. The two are eating, and the little frog manages to s**... something without any issues! The father frog notices that the son didn't upchuck. Beaming with pride, the father frog grins over at his son.
"Ah, son! Your fly is down!"
TIL lions perform o**... s**... on each other.
Talk about swallowing your pride.
What Do They Call a Pride Parade in Saudi Arabia?
A Massacre
I just found out Pride is one of the seven sins.
Good thing I'm so amazingly humble.
National Pride Day should be September 21
September 22 is the first day of Autumn, and as everyone knows, Pride goes before a Fall.
Brought a girl home from a bar last night and after we went down on each other for a while I slipped on a c**.... Suddenly, she looked me dead in the eyes and demanded either forty more minutes of foreplay, or that I drop down and give her 100 pushups. When I asked why she said
"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."
So I hear EA has removed all refund options from their website, and now customers have to call them directly. But hey:
"The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment from successfully navigating our automated phone menu."
Why did the chicken walk to work instead of paying a bus fare?
To feel a sense of pride and accomplishment
I had to be rushed in for an emergency open heart surgery today,
My doctor grinned as he handed me a scalpel, "Fixing your heart yourself would give you a sense of pride and accomplishm-..."
I'm sick of these people milking the EA conflict for karma!
I hope it at least gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment.
Why doesn't the United States have universal healthcare?
Because paying for health insurance should give a sense of pride and accomplishment
Don't hate Ajit Pai...
... he just wants to give us a sense of pride and accomplishment with our internet bill
How come new and knew were not allowed words at the gay pride spelling bee?
Because they are homophonic.
what has four letters, is a vegetable if you take away the last, an o**... if you take away the first, and gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment if you take away both
pear
Its pride month guys !! Let's all say something positive.
I'll start..... : h**...
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
It takes a long time for them to s**... their pride.
I was on a safari in Africa when I saw two male lions having s**... with each other in the open.
I thought to myself, Have they got no pride?
Three Christian mothers are having afternoon tea and boast about their sons.
The first mother says, "My son is the worship band leader. When he walks past the congregation, they go:
'Oh worship leader! Oh worship leader!'"
"Wow, that's great!" they exclaim.
Not to be outdone, the second mother adds, "Well, MY son is the pastor. When he walks past the church, they go:
'Oh pastor! Oh pastor!'"
The other two shout, "Oh my, how impressive!"
The third mother is beaming with pride and says, "Well, MY son is 4 feet tall and 800 pounds. When he walks past the church, they go:
'MY GOD!'"
what do you call a pack of l**...?
a Pride
Why is gay pride held in summer?
Because pride always comes before a fall
My 2 year old just told me his first joke
My 2 year old is eating an apple and asked me: what does the apple say?
Me: I don't know
2 year old: yummy!
I don't know if this is the right place for it but the pride on his face for making me laugh was the best part of my day!
If Pride Flags exist; there must be Shame Flags
Which explains the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy
What Do You Call A Man Who Takes Huge Pride Over The Size Of His b**... ?
Egotesticle
A man was close to passing and said to his wife "Please answer one final question honestly for me"
"Anything" replied his wife.
The man continued, "We have three sons. Two are fine strapping lads, handsome, tall, strong. They have been the pride of my life. But our third son is so different, he is small, weak, and always ill. Please tell me honestly before I die, is he actually my son?"
His wife replied sincerely "Yes, you don't have to worry, he is our son". And with his mind set at ease the man passed away.
His wife thought to herself, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other two."
Three nuns are talking.
The first nun says, you would never believe what i discovered.
Intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun.
oh that's nothing." said the second one, "i found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one.
" what did u do with them?" said the first nun.
The second nun responds with pride ," I poked **holes** in all of them."
The third nun screams, oh s**......"
My nephew came to me with a look of pride on his face.
He said uncle, uncle look what I made it's a telephone. He proceeded to show me two tin cans tied together with string.
I pulled out my iPhone and said: this is what kids your age make in China.
My grandpa likes to boast that his b**... functions are like clockwork
Now he wasn't always like this so he's been taking extra pride in it:
"everyday I go to sleep at 21 o'clock.then at 5:30 a.m. I take a p**....At 5:45 I have a s**...,and at 6 a.m. sharp I wake up."
Things that are difficult
Sometimes its hard to s**... your pride.
Unless you are a cannibal lion.
I keep seeing all these LGBTQ+ Pride signs everywhere.
I ask people what they mean but can never get a straight answer.
Why do lions stay with their families in June?
Because that's **Pride** Month!
In a confession booth...
ME: I committed all seven deadly sins in 30 minutes.
PRIEST: Wow I gotta hear this.
ME: I was angry and envious at my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and I didn't share.
PRIEST: You forgot pride.
ME: No, Im pretty proud of this.
Why don't lions hang out with other species?
**Their pride gets in the way.**
Why is Pride always celebrated in the summer?
Pride always cometh before the fall
