pride Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious pride stories

What are the best pride puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Pride? Well here is a complete list of the top pride jokes:

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...

I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"

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"It's impossible" said Pride. "It's risky" said Experience. "It's pointless" said Reason. "Give it a try" whispered Heart. (NSFW)

"What the hell is that!" screamed the anus.

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They say male lions will often turn to cannibalism when they're desperate for food.

They just have to swallow their pride.

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Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing...

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

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I have a friend who everyone knows is gay but he won't admit it.

He'll swallow everything but his pride.

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What do you call a same-sex lion orgy?

Gay Pride.

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How does a woman destroy a mans pride with 4 words?

Is it in yet?



How does a man destroy a womans pride with 4 words?

I don't know.

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It takes a long time for a giraffe...

...to swallow its pride.

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From my 5 year old. Knock knock...

Who's there?
Cow
Cow who?
Cows don't say "who", they say "moo"!

I was cracking up :) such pride

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Its not a profession.

Two people meet at a bar and start talking about work.
The first person says 'so mate, what do you do for a living?'
The second, aroggently puffs out his chest and full of pride says with a smirk 'I sir happen to be an artist'
To which the first person reply's 'hey that's ironic I'm unemployed as well!'

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What's green, white, and orange and only appears once a year?

Irish pride

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Wife: You are lost!

Wife: You are lost. Go ask for directions!

Him: *swallows pride, walks into gas station* Excuse me sir, do you happen to know where "the clitoris" is?


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Don't worry too much about Net Neutrality!

Spending extra dollars to use some websites will give you a "sense of pride and accomplishment"!

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What do you call a group of male lions?

A gay pride.

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What's green, white and orange and only appears once a year?

Irish pride

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America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars...

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars as the country watched with pride. Iran, wanting to gain a technological/global edge, decided to show up America by announcing a manned mission to the sun the very next day. The Americans, along with other western allies, decided to meet with the Iranian government to express their concern. In a conference room filled with diplomats and astrophysicists, the US delegation protested to the Iranians, Listen. Differences aside, we can't let you send people to the sun. It's suicide. They burn to death even at far distances! Please don't carry out this mission! The Iranians laughed wittily amongst themselves, jabbing each other with elbows and pointing at the westerners as one Iranian says, Stupid Americans! They think we're going during the daytime!

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A little boy, his mother and his father are at a circus watching the elephants...

When the little boy notices something hanging between the elephants legs. He asks 'mommy, what's that hanging between the elephants legs?'

His mother says 'oh, it's nothing'

The little boy turns to his father and says 'daddy, what's that hanging between the elephants legs?'

'that, son' says his dad, 'is a penis'

The boy thinks for a moment before asking, 'then why did mommy say it was nothing?'

The father puffs up with pride and says 'because I've spoiled that woman, son'

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Halo

Mother Teresa passed away and was on her way up to Heaven when she finally met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. He looked at her with such pride and said, "Mother Teresa! Thank you for everything you did for the world. Because of the good you did, I will give you this halo. Only the greatest figures in world history get these ." She thanked him as he placed the halo upon her head. She then walked into heaven and saw some of these amazing figures wearing halos, too. People like Martin Luther King, Jr., Abe Lincoln, etc. Then she looked over and noticed Princess Diana with a bigger halo than everyone else. Mother Teresa stormed over to St. Peter, and started yelling, "You know, I was born into wealth, and gave that all away to live in complete poverty. The scum of the Earth my whole life!" To which he replied, "I know! We greatly appreciate it. What is the problem?" She replied, "How come Princess Diana gets a halo? She was born into wealth, stayed wealthy her whole life, and I just don't think she did anything above and beyond to deserve that halo." St. Peter was confused. He looked at Mother Teresa and said, "Um, that isn't a halo. That's a fuckin' steering wheel."

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What is gay pride?

A group of homosexual lions

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A Mexican, Texan, a Brit, and a Spaniard are on a plane...

A Mexican, Texan, a Brit, and a Spaniard are on a plane, and suddenly the pilot says, "We are crashing, but I will be able to land if 3 of you somehow get off." The 4 people look at each other, doubting anyone will jump. Then, the Brit jumps out, yelling, "Save the Queen!" The Spaniard then jumps out yelling, "Viva la Vida!" The Texan, in shock of what he saw, is swelling with pride, and yells, "Remember the Alamo!" and throws the Mexican off the plane.

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CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best pride jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 20 puns about pride. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty pride gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these pride jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

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