The Best 79 Pride Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Pride jokes. There are some pride arrogance jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these pride prejudice puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Pride Jokes and Puns

Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing...

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...

I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"

What do you call a same-sex lion orgy?

Gay Pride.

Pride joke, What do you call a same-sex lion orgy?

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars...

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars as the country watched with pride. Iran, wanting to gain a technological/global edge, decided to show up America by announcing a manned mission to the sun the very next day. The Americans, along with other western allies, decided to meet with the Iranian government to express their concern. In a conference room filled with diplomats and astrophysicists, the US delegation protested to the Iranians, Listen. Differences aside, we can't let you send people to the sun. It's suicide. They burn to death even at far distances! Please don't carry out this mission! The Iranians laughed wittily amongst themselves, jabbing each other with elbows and pointing at the westerners as one Iranian says, Stupid Americans! They think we're going during the daytime!

I have a friend who everyone knows is gay but he won't admit it.

He'll swallow everything but his pride.


It takes a long time for a giraffe...

...to swallow its pride.

Its not a profession.

Two people meet at a bar and start talking about work.
The first person says 'so mate, what do you do for a living?'
The second, aroggently puffs out his chest and full of pride says with a smirk 'I sir happen to be an artist'
To which the first person reply's 'hey that's ironic I'm unemployed as well!'

Pride joke, Its not a profession.

What's green, white, and orange and only appears once a year?

Irish pride

How does a woman destroy a mans pride with 4 words?

Is it in yet?

How does a man destroy a womans pride with 4 words?

I don't know.

They say male lions will often turn to cannibalism when they're desperate for food.

They just have to swallow their pride.

Why aren't lions cannibals?

They can't swallow their pride.

You can explore pride patriotism reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pride mufasa dad jokes. There are also pride puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A lion who's been removed from its family..

..has been stripped of it's pride.

What do you call a group of homosexual lions?

gay pride

Take pride in what you're into, if thats exponents, well...

More power to ya!

If you call a group of lions a pride, and a group of crows a murder; what do you call a group of pedophiles?

The British Parliament

Just found out that male lions sometimes engage in homosexual behavior.

Must have a lot of gay pride.

Pride joke, Just found out that male lions sometimes engage in homosexual behavior.

They polled Britons on their favorite Jane Austen novel

52% prefer Pride & Prejudice to Sense & Sensibility

What did the cannibalistic lion do?

Swallow his pride.

I capture lions for a living...

I guess you could say I take pride in my work.


What is the hardest part about admitting you are a gay lion?

Having to swallow your pride.

What happened to the overconfident lion-tamer?

He was consumed by his own pride.

A frog and his froggy son go to a restaurant...

The young frog has been having trouble eating food, and not much seemed to help. The two are eating, and the little frog manages to swallow something without any issues! The father frog notices that the son didn't upchuck. Beaming with pride, the father frog grins over at his son.

"Ah, son! Your fly is down!"

TIL lions perform oral sex on each other.

Talk about swallowing your pride.

What Do They Call a Pride Parade in Saudi Arabia?

A Massacre

What happens when a lion becomes a cannibal?

He swallows his pride...

Have you heard of the Saudi Arabia gay pride anthem?

We will, we will rock you!

What was the anthem of Saudi Arabia's first LGBT pride parade?

We Will Rock You.

I just found out Pride is one of the seven sins.

Good thing I'm so amazingly humble.

National Pride Day should be September 21

September 22 is the first day of Autumn, and as everyone knows, Pride goes before a Fall.

NSFW 16 year old boy comes back home from a party strutting and with a huge grin on his face.

His dad sees this and comments: "Well, looks like someone had a good time tonight."
The kid replies: "You could say that - I just lost my virginity tonight!"
Dad, bursting with pride at his little man, says: "Well come on over, sit next to your ole' dad and tell me about it."
The kid falls silent for a moment and says: "I... can't sit."

Brought a girl home from a bar last night and after we went down on each other for a while I slipped on a condom. Suddenly, she looked me dead in the eyes and demanded either forty more minutes of foreplay, or that I drop down and give her 100 pushups. When I asked why she said

"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."

So I hear EA has removed all refund options from their website, and now customers have to call them directly. But hey:

"The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment from successfully navigating our automated phone menu."

Why did the chicken walk to work instead of paying a bus fare?

To feel a sense of pride and accomplishment

I wish my college was run by EA

At least I'd get a sense of pride and accomplishment for my money

Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea.

Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"

I'm sick of these people milking the EA conflict for karma!

I hope it at least gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Why doesn't the United States have universal healthcare?

Because paying for health insurance should give a sense of pride and accomplishment

Why do lions only mate in the summer?

Because the pride cometh before the fall

How come new and knew were not allowed words at the gay pride spelling bee?

Because they are homophonic.

Even now, all this time later, we have to remain calm about the Net Neutrality thing...

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

what has four letters, is a vegetable if you take away the last, an organ if you take away the first, and gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment if you take away both

pear

When is Asexual Pride Month?

Every month if you're married.

Its pride month guys !! Let's all say something positive.

I'll start..... : HIV

Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes a long time for them to swallow their pride.

I was on a safari in Africa when I saw two male lions having sex with each other in the open.

I thought to myself, Have they got no pride?

Pride is like the summer...

It comes before the fall.

Three Christian mothers are having afternoon tea and boast about their sons.

The first mother says, "My son is the worship band leader. When he walks past the congregation, they go:

'Oh worship leader! Oh worship leader!'"

"Wow, that's great!" they exclaim.

Not to be outdone, the second mother adds, "Well, MY son is the pastor. When he walks past the church, they go:

'Oh pastor! Oh pastor!'"

The other two shout, "Oh my, how impressive!"

The third mother is beaming with pride and says, "Well, MY son is 4 feet tall and 800 pounds. When he walks past the church, they go:

'MY GOD!'"

what do you call a pack of lesbians?

a Pride

My friend has a unique ability; he can always tell if there are lions near by.

He's got a great sense of pride.

People always told my dad that his pride would be the death of him

and sure enough, he was eaten by his favorite lion just last Wednesday

Why is gay pride held in summer?

Because pride always comes before a fall

My 2 year old just told me his first joke

My 2 year old is eating an apple and asked me: what does the apple say?

Me: I don't know

2 year old: yummy!

I don't know if this is the right place for it but the pride on his face for making me laugh was the best part of my day!

My wife beamed at me with pride and said, Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!

I said, This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter.

If Pride Flags exist; there must be Shame Flags

Which explains the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy

What Do You Call A Man Who Takes Huge Pride Over The Size Of His Balls ?

Egotesticle

Today I was turned away from an LGBTQ organized event. To think I thought they were inclusive.

This is the last time I take my pack of lions to a pride parade.

Did you hear about the cannibalistic lion?

He swallowed his pride.

My wife suggested I should read Pride and Prejudice, but I said no.

I'm too good for it, and I have a feeling it'll try to lecture me.

Did you hear about the conceited, cannibalistic lion?

He swallowed his pride.

A man was close to passing and said to his wife "Please answer one final question honestly for me"

"Anything" replied his wife.

The man continued, "We have three sons. Two are fine strapping lads, handsome, tall, strong. They have been the pride of my life. But our third son is so different, he is small, weak, and always ill. Please tell me honestly before I die, is he actually my son?"

His wife replied sincerely "Yes, you don't have to worry, he is our son". And with his mind set at ease the man passed away.

His wife thought to herself, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other two."

Three nuns are talking.

The first nun says, you would never believe what i discovered.

Intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun.

oh that's nothing." said the second one, "i found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one.

" what did u do with them?" said the first nun.

The second nun responds with pride ," I poked **holes** in all of them."

The third nun screams, oh shit..."

My nephew came to me with a look of pride on his face.

He said uncle, uncle look what I made it's a telephone. He proceeded to show me two tin cans tied together with string.

I pulled out my iPhone and said: this is what kids your age make in China.

How did the lion feel after becoming a cannibal?

Full of pride.

Why did the buffalo farmer go to the pride parade?

He had a bison.

My grandpa likes to boast that his bodily functions are like clockwork

Now he wasn't always like this so he's been taking extra pride in it:

"everyday I go to sleep at 21 o'clock.then at 5:30 a.m. I take a piss.At 5:45 I have a shit,and at 6 a.m. sharp I wake up."

Why did the lion cross the road?

To get to the other pride

Things that are difficult

Sometimes its hard to swallow your pride.

Unless you are a cannibal lion.

I tried watching LGBT movies to celebrate Pride month

but I need to pay extra for LGBT Plus

I keep seeing all these LGBTQ+ Pride signs everywhere.

I ask people what they mean but can never get a straight answer.

Why do gay people have parades in June?

Because Pride comes before the fall!

I completely misunderstood pride month...

Who wants to buy 15 lions?

EA have been hit by ransomware and need to pay up to $7,000,000

Hackers claim they want EA to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment when they finally unlock their information

Why do lions stay with their families in June?

Because that's **Pride** Month!

Completely misunderstood pride month.

Does anyone want to buy 15 lions?

Why is the pride lasting an entire month?

I mean it's one month straight so it doesn't really make sense…

I was gonna tell a 'hetero' joke for the last day of pride month....

But I couldn't keep a straight face.

In a confession booth...

ME: I committed all seven deadly sins in 30 minutes.

PRIEST: Wow I gotta hear this.

ME: I was angry and envious at my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and I didn't share.

PRIEST: You forgot pride.

ME: No, Im pretty proud of this.

Why don't lions hang out with other species?

**Their pride gets in the way.**

If a group of lions is called pride, what do you call a group of humans?

Prejudice.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pride safari jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working pride laddie piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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