pride Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious pride puns

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...

I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"

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I wish my college was run by EA

At least I'd get a sense of pride and accomplishment for my money

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My 7-year-old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans....

I pulled out my cellphone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"

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Have you heard of the Saudi Arabia gay pride anthem?

We will, we will rock you!

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Me: *swallows pride*

Baby lion: holy shit

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What did the cannibalistic lion do?

Swallow his pride.

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Brought a girl home from a bar last night and after we went down on each other for a while I slipped on a condom. Suddenly, she looked me dead in the eyes and demanded either forty more minutes of foreplay, or that I drop down and give her 100 pushups. When I asked why she said

"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."

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"It's impossible" said Pride. "It's risky" said Experience. "It's pointless" said Reason. "Give it a try" whispered Heart. (NSFW)

"What the hell is that!" screamed the anus.

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TIL lions perform oral sex on each other.

Talk about swallowing your pride.

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What is the hardest part about admitting you are a gay lion?

Having to swallow your pride.

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I was on a safari in Africa when I saw two male lions having sex with each other in the open.

I thought to myself, Have they got no pride?

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar

They are about to sit down when the bartender says: It costs $60 to sit on the chair. The priest and the rabbi say That's absurd! What's the reason for this charge? The bartender says Well the goal is to provide patrons with a sense of pride and accompliβ€”

The priest and the rabbi throw themselves at the bartender and beat him to death, because enough of the damn EA jokes already.

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They say male lions will often turn to cannibalism when they're desperate for food.

They just have to swallow their pride.

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Even now, all this time later, we have to remain calm about the Net Neutrality thing...

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

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What happened to the overconfident lion-tamer?

He was consumed by his own pride.

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I capture lions for a living...

I guess you could say I take pride in my work.

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"It is impossible.", said pride. "It is risky.", said experience. "It is pointless.", said reason. "Give it a try.", whispered the heart.

"**WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?**", screamed the anus two minutes later.

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what has four letters, is a vegetable if you take away the last, an organ if you take away the first, and gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment if you take away both

pear

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Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea.

Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"

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NSFW 16 year old boy comes back home from a party strutting and with a huge grin on his face.

His dad sees this and comments: "Well, looks like someone had a good time tonight."
The kid replies: "You could say that - I just lost my virginity tonight!"
Dad, bursting with pride at his little man, says: "Well come on over, sit next to your ole' dad and tell me about it."
The kid falls silent for a moment and says: "I... can't sit."

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Why aren't lions cannibals?

They can't swallow their pride.

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What happens when a lion becomes a cannibal?

He swallows his pride...

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Pride is like the summer...

It comes before the fall.

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Why do lions only mate in the summer?

Because the pride cometh before the fall

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Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing...

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

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I have a friend who everyone knows is gay but he won't admit it.

He'll swallow everything but his pride.

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America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars...

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars as the country watched with pride. Iran, wanting to gain a technological/global edge, decided to show up America by announcing a manned mission to the sun the very next day. The Americans, along with other western allies, decided to meet with the Iranian government to express their concern. In a conference room filled with diplomats and astrophysicists, the US delegation protested to the Iranians, Listen. Differences aside, we can't let you send people to the sun. It's suicide. They burn to death even at far distances! Please don't carry out this mission! The Iranians laughed wittily amongst themselves, jabbing each other with elbows and pointing at the westerners as one Iranian says, Stupid Americans! They think we're going during the daytime!

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What do you call a same-sex lion orgy?

Gay Pride.

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Three Christian mothers are having afternoon tea and boast about their sons.

The first mother says, "My son is the worship band leader. When he walks past the congregation, they go:

'Oh worship leader! Oh worship leader!'"

"Wow, that's great!" they exclaim.

Not to be outdone, the second mother adds, "Well, MY son is the pastor. When he walks past the church, they go:

'Oh pastor! Oh pastor!'"

The other two shout, "Oh my, how impressive!"

The third mother is beaming with pride and says, "Well, MY son is 4 feet tall and 800 pounds. When he walks past the church, they go:

'MY GOD!'"

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Why doesn't the United States have universal healthcare?

Because paying for health insurance should give a sense of pride and accomplishment

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A frog and his froggy son go to a restaurant...

The young frog has been having trouble eating food, and not much seemed to help. The two are eating, and the little frog manages to swallow something without any issues! The father frog notices that the son didn't upchuck. Beaming with pride, the father frog grins over at his son.

"Ah, son! Your fly is down!"

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what do you call a pack of lesbians?

a Pride

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My 9-year-old nephew showed me with pride the "Telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans....

I pulled out my cellphone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in japan !"

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How does a woman destroy a mans pride with 4 words?

Is it in yet?



How does a man destroy a womans pride with 4 words?

I don't know.

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Halo

Mother Teresa passed away and was on her way up to Heaven when she finally met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. He looked at her with such pride and said, "Mother Teresa! Thank you for everything you did for the world. Because of the good you did, I will give you this halo. Only the greatest figures in world history get these ." She thanked him as he placed the halo upon her head. She then walked into heaven and saw some of these amazing figures wearing halos, too. People like Martin Luther King, Jr., Abe Lincoln, etc. Then she looked over and noticed Princess Diana with a bigger halo than everyone else. Mother Teresa stormed over to St. Peter, and started yelling, "You know, I was born into wealth, and gave that all away to live in complete poverty. The scum of the Earth my whole life!" To which he replied, "I know! We greatly appreciate it. What is the problem?" She replied, "How come Princess Diana gets a halo? She was born into wealth, stayed wealthy her whole life, and I just don't think she did anything above and beyond to deserve that halo." St. Peter was confused. He looked at Mother Teresa and said, "Um, that isn't a halo. That's a fuckin' steering wheel."

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What are the most funny Pride jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Pride? Well, here are the best Pride dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Pride pick up lines to share with friends.

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