Uproarious Previously Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
A lumberjack applies for a job...
...the interviewer asks, "so, where have you worked previously?"
The lumberjack replies, "I did a few years in the Sahara Forest."
The interviewer, taken aback, inquires, "the Sahara 'Forest?' Don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"
Lumberjack says, "yeah, that's what they call it now."
A nun was fired from her job in heaven...
A nun was fired from her job in heaven, so she came down to earth and started looking for a job. One night, when she is filling out a job application, there is a question that asks her to check the boxes next to the jobs that she has previously worked at. She looks at the answers for a second, and then checks the box marked, "Nun of the above."
WHO and Covid 😛
The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a v**...."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get s**...."
BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump does not accept presidential election...
Says he doesn't want to move into an estate which previously had black tenants.
An anthropologist visits a tribe that eats only meat...
An anthropologist visits an exclusively carnivorous tribe in previously uncharted deep-jungle territory and word gets around about this strange woman who eats plants.
M'buk says to T'gru, "Have you heard about this woman who eats *plants?*"
T'gru gets this puzzled look and says "no, I've never heard of herbivore!"
A man and his wife were driving down a country road...
A man and his wife were driving down a country road.
They had previously been fighting with each other so they weren't talking at all.
They continued driving until they passed a field full of cows when the wife said, "Family of yours?"
"Yes" replied the husband, "In-laws."
The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19.
The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
For the first time in my life, I can't go for a holiday because of COVID-19
Previously, it was because I couldn't afford it
What an age we live in...
... when a family of billionaires moves into government subsidized housing previously occupied by black people.
The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract COVID19. All dogs previously quarantined can now be released.
In short, WHO let the dogs out.
You can explore previously ritual reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean previously archaeologists dad jokes. There are also previously puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Boxes of previously uncounted ballots have been found in Florida
Associated Press is now declaring the State of Florida for Al Gore
We just found an original Stradivarius and a previously undiscovered Rembrandt in my grandad's attic!
Unfortunately it turns out that Rembrandt made useless fiddles and Stradivarius couldn't paint worth a cuss.
Police has arrested a charlatan
He was attempting to sell trusting elderly people some pills that were supposed to bring them their youth back.
After further investigation the police found out that the same man has been previously arrested for the same thing in years 1734, 1859 and 1926.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question, a superfluously expanded vocabulary, and a blatant disregard for previously established axioms?
A punchline.
A chemist tried to impress his beautiful lab assistant...
He began my mixing two chemicals previously uncombined in hopes it would produce a strong aphrodisiac. Upon smelling the fumes, the assistant instantly vomited onto the chemist's face.
That was not the reaction he was hoping for.
Why did my app lose its previously large female following?
Because it went into beta. :(
Why did the group of previously miscarried mothers meet at chilis?
They wanted their baby back ...baby back... baby back
Israel Health minister who previously claimed that CORONA Virus is divine punishment against homosexuality.
Has tested positive for the virus!!!
"Bloodied cricket bat found in Oscar Pistorius' house"
In addition, locals have told police that he was previously sighted with stumps.
Newly wed 70-year old
Marty is with his fellow septuagenarian friends. During a thoughtful pause between all the joking and grousing he reveals that he and his new bride are having some issues with s**.... The friends had previously warned Marty that his bride-to-be only wanted him for his money and now they rallied around him.
"You lied by saying that you're only 50 years old. And now she's disappointed that you have s**... infrequently," ventured a friend.
"Yes, I lied," Marty confessed. "I said that I was 90 years old. And now she's upset that it's in frequently."
> mandatory: this is not mine; not OC
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because six realized that it is a number, which brought on anxieties that numbers haven't previously faced.
Another band has renamed themselves do to the times we live now, they will now be called No Refunds
apparently, if you previously went to their concerts, you couldn't even get a Nickelback.
I watched X-Men today.
It was a documentary about females who had previously undergone s**... change operation.
How do you tell if something is a miracle?
You look for the stamp.
(I know I have heard this before, does anyone know the origins or where it has previously popped up?)
I can't marry my girlfriend because I have an arranged marriage coming up
It was a previously scheduled engagement.
