The Best 59 Prevent Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Prevent jokes. There are some prevent lawmakers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these prevent vaccine puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Prevent Jokes and Puns

I thought getting a vasectomy would prevent my wife from getting pregnant

I thought getting a vasectomy would prevent my wife from getting pregnant.

Apparently, all it does is change the color of the baby.

An order of monks are selling flowers...

...illegally on the lawn of the Playboy Mansion, Hugh Hefner's property. Instead of calling the police, however, Hugh decides to spring into action and stop them himself. After an intense argument, the monks agree to leave peacefully. If it had been anybody else they would have gotten away with it; unfortunately for them, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Hugh Hefner

Today, famous playboy Hugh Hefner successfully managed to stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the Playboy Mansion, where they had been selling flowers.

Said one friar, "Well if it was anyone else we could've gotten away with it, but unfortunately only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Prevent joke, Hugh Hefner

I have a tendency to run around naked...

So every morning I spray myself with Windex, to prevent me from streaking.

Corniest joke I know.

Two friars decide to open up a business selling flowers in LA. They settup a booth right outside of Hugh Hefners playboy mansion. After about a week, their business wasnt going so well and it was also driving away people from the playboy mansion seeing two friars outside.

Eventually Hugh Hefner himself came out and put a stop to all of this.

The point of the story is: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Badum psh


Why do prison guards use Proactive?

To prevent further breakouts.

I prevented 2 rapes last night...

"How?"
Self control.

Prevent joke, I prevented 2 rapes last night...

LPT: Laminate your index cards when studying. Not only does it prevent smearing, but the teardrops actually roll right off.

Why don't dentists display their awards?

Because they want to prevent plaque build-up.

Preventing childhood obesity...

It's as easy as taking candy from a baby.

Flower Salesman Arrested

Local Chinese man Chen Yu stopped a Catholic monk from selling flowers tonight in Downton Dallas. The monk was detained for not having a vending license. The monk will be fined $300 and Yu has been awarded for his efforts. At the end of the day, only Yu can prevent Florist Friars.

You can explore prevent vaccination reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean prevent wildfires dad jokes. There are also prevent puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's the simplest way to prevent rape?

Consent.

Why does Donkey Kong brush his teeth?

To prevent tooth DK.

Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service.

What do an IUD and an IED have in common?

They both prevent pregnancy.

^I'm ^sorry

Valve should be in charge of the UN...

It's the only sure-fire way to prevent World War 3.

Prevent joke, Valve should be in charge of the UN...

Why would I donate Β£2 to save a kid's life?

I'd rather spend that Β£2 on a condom to prevent a kid's life.

An Australian man living by the cliff has prevent over 150 suicides, during the 50 years he has lived there...

... by shooting them himself.

I think my wife was sleeping with my boss so I changed jobs to prevent that from happening...

One of the perks of being self-employed.


Never buy flowers from a monk

Only YOU can prevent florist friars

Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.

I adopted a child from overseas...

I adopted a child from overseas.
To prevent him from working child-labour factories.
And on his very first birthday, we took him to build a bear workshop.

Yesterday, my grandpa bought a book called "how to prevent Alzheimer's disease"

He bought one today, too.

Donald Trump said, "I declare April as Sexual Assault Awareness month."

His aide said, "So what do think are some good ways to prevent it?"

Trump replied, "Prevent it?"

LPT: If you know somebody with dyslexia that uses public transport, offer to help them read their timetable to prevent any mixups.

Whoops, wrong bus.

I prevented a rape today.

I convinced her.

I was told a vasectomy would prevent my wife and I from having a baby...

Turns out it just turns the baby black.

I had a vasectomy. Did you know that it actually doesn't prevent your wife from getting pregnant it just changes the color of the baby.

Or at least that's what my mailman saidο»Ώ.

Daily Mail online: "Masturbation may help prevent the common cold."

Hope so, I've got no tissues left

How do you prevent family members from having sex with each other?

Use incesticide.

So Hitler decides to go see a psychic...

...and the psychic tells him that he will die on the day of a Jewish holiday. Hitler, obviously distraught, demands the psychic tell him more, and tries to coerce him into giving more details in hopes that he can somehow prevent it.

After much back and forth, the psychic finally snaps in impatience and says, "Well, whatever the day you die is going to be a Jewish holiday anyway,".

I thought getting a vasectomy would prevent birth

But apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

Nowadays with internet in some prisons..

..How do they prevent the emails from having attached files?

A man is sunbathing on a nude beach

To prevent a sunburn, he covers his most important organ with a hat.

A woman passes by and notices the hat.

She says, "Sir, a real gentleman always lifts his hat in front of a lady."

The man replies, "Ma'am if you were a real lady, the hat would've lifted itself."

How to prevent WW3

Just give valve the rights to 1 and 2.

I was disappointed to find out a vasectomy doesn't prevent you from getting your wife pregnant.

It just changes the color of the baby. :(

Don't ever buy flowers from monks.

Only you can prevent florist friars.

(Sorry if repost.)

A man decided to sunbathe on the beach.

He took all of his clothes off, except that he covered his private parts with a hat to prevent a sunburn. As he's sunbathing, a woman walks past him. She looks at the man and snidely remarks:

"A true gentleman would always tip his hat for a lady."

To which the man replies:

"Ma'am, if you were a true lady, it would tip itself."

Dad what do condoms do?

Prevent questions like that one son.

A man with 12 kids visits his Dr., asking for advice on how to prevent future pregnancies...

Have you tried condoms? Asks the Dr.

I did, and it resulted in 3 kids! said the man.

Have you tried birth control?

I did! And it resulted in another 3 kids!

Have you tried IUD (intrauterine implants)?

I did! And it STILL resulted in 3 kids!

Confounded, the Dr. says bluntly, well, have you tried not sleeping with your wife?

I did! And it STILL resulted in 3 kids!!

Every wonder why Republicans use two hands when they're drinking out of a water bottle?

It's to prevent it from trickling down.

Fun fact:

No matter how much you try to prevent it, one day you may wake up with a large washbasin knocking on your door.

Just let that sink in.

Why is an aircraft painted?

To prevent it from looking **plane**.



Regular naps prevent ageing

Especially if taken while driving

I prevented two girls from being abducted today.

My van wouldn't start.

I called the Suicide helpline for assistance

Turns out they only help PREVENT suicide. Bah!

Why did the Romans bring bleach to Jesus's crucifixion?

To prevent cross contamination.

Storks bring babies, but do you know what type of birds prevent babies?

Swallows...

The Robinhood app has a rating of 4.7 stars in the app store.

But current market conditions prevent us from allowing investors to add new stars. You may only remove stars until conditions improve.

How do you prevent murders?

Use a scarecrow

What do you call cancer when it achieves sentience?

A reddit mod.

(doubt this will prevent it form being deleted and myself banned, but this 'attack' is quite impersonal)

A monk was selling flowers on the Playboy mansion grounds and no one but Hef could get him to leave...

Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

The stork is the bird that brings the baby,

But a Swallow's the one to prevent it!

What does a modern excutioner, with a sense of humor do, before injecting lethal injection?

\- Disinfect the arm, to prevent infection.

At the airport check-in counter

At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both herself and her husband.

The clerk pointed out that this would prevent them for sitting together.

"Sweetie," the woman replied, "I've just spent 10 days of quality time in a compact rental car with this man. I *know* what I'm requesting!"

What's the difference between Jesus and vaccines?

One has the ability to prevent disease, slow down and eventually stop a global pandemic, and has saved countless millions of lives.

The other is a giant hoax, made up by evil shit bags to control the global population.

Dr. Oz says rubbing coffee grounds on your naked body helps prevent cellulite.

Apparently you can't do it in Starbucks.

And now the cops are here…..

Smokey the Bear says "Only YOU can prevent wildfires!"

Half the world is burning right now.


*I hope you feel good about yourself.*

Why did the Catholic chef sanitize his crucifix while preparing Sunday brunch?

To prevent cross-contamination.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the prevent pregnancy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working prevent evacuate piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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