Pretty Jokes

Funniest Pretty Short Jokes

Short pretty jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pretty humour may include short beautiful jokes also.

1. If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
   On the other hand, you don't.
2. I slept with a girl who works at Netflix last night It was pretty cool, she even recommended some girls I might like to sleep with next
   
3. TIL "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. At least, I'm pretty sure...
   FP
4. I'm seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife… But I'm pretty sure she'll figure out I'm just after my money.
5. My crush told me that I'm pretty. Well, the whole sentence was "you're pretty annoying", but I focus only on the positive things.
6. I just read a list of "100 Things To Do Before You Die". I was pretty surprised that "yell for help" wasn't one of them.
7. Valentine's.... For the past 10 years I've been getting valentine's card from a secret admirer, so I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year.
   First my gran dies, now this!
8. Lots of guys aren't too happy with getting a "dad bod" eventually in life. But I'd say im pretty excited for it Because it's the closest thing I'm gonna get to having a father figure in my life
9. They say one in ten men are homosexual In my group of friends I'm pretty sure it's Marc. He's really cute
10. My sense of humor is a lot like COVID Tasteless, not good for large groups, and anyone who gets it is pretty sick.

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Pretty One Liners

Which pretty one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pretty? I can suggest the ones about pleasant and nice.

1. If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock. That's pretty humerus.
2. I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.
3. I built a 1:1000000 model of a German submarine. It's a pretty good µ-boat.
4. How much does a rainbow weigh? Not much, they're pretty light.
5. Great wine is like great jazz... It confuses me and I'm pretty sure it's all the same.
6. My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died She was eaten by a giant crab
7. I'm 36 but have the body an 18-year-old The police are pretty upset about it.
8. Feminists just want to be treated equally To the pretty ones.
9. I became a proud father today.... My son's 4 but he's been pretty annoying until now
10. I had a date tonight. It was pretty sweet. Next, I'm going to try a fig.
11. 90 degrees is pretty hot for most people, But for mathematicians, it's just right.
12. Guys, the USA is looking pretty bad... I think its time for USB.
13. My wife and I decided to not have kids the kids took it pretty hard
14. I just got the new iPhone for my wife All things considered a pretty good trade.
15. I don't mean to make sweeping generalizations but all brooms are pretty much the same.

Pretty Good Jokes

Here is a list of funny pretty good jokes and even better pretty good puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I like to think I'm a pretty good man. I give over 50% of my paycheck to Charity. But when she's not working I give it to Destiny.
• Two goats were behind a Hollywood movie studio eating an old movie film. One goat said to the other, "Pretty good, huh?"
  The second goat said, "Yeah, but not as good as the book".
• People say cannibals are disgusting human beings But this one tastes pretty good
• My wife's cooking is pretty good, but it makes me sad when she uses so much spice. I'm starting to think I have seasonal depression.
• I once had 4 blowouts at once, but managed to drive on the metal of my rims from New York to New Jersey. I did pretty good, but the hero of the moment was my car. It worked tirelessly.
• Coming up with a good Reddit post is usually pretty hard. But today it's a piece of cake!
• To be honest, to this day I'm still in love with my last girlfriend. So it's a pretty good thing she's my wife, huh?
• So I have a pretty good fathers day joke Can't wait to tell my dad when he finally brings the milk home
• I used to be a rubbish collector. Now I'm pretty good.
• Did you hear about the new Christian online video game? It's pretty good, but it's pray2win.

Pretty Girl Jokes

Here is a list of funny pretty girl jokes and even better pretty girl puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I used to be scared of pretty girls, So my Mom explained that was silly, because they're much more scared of me.
• One time I walked into a bathroom and there were no urinals I thought, "huh... that's strange." The girls that came in after me were apparently pretty freaked out by it too.
• I thought I was pretty lucky… I used to date two girls Kate & Edith at the same time. Unfortunately, it didn't work out. It turns out you can't have your Kate and Edith, too.
• Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down. Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.
• Before going to party my dad said, "Don't bring any girls home, tonight." That was pretty harsh I thought, considering my sister went with me.
• How many pretty girls are there at a monastery? Nun.
• Today a girl stopped me on the sidewalk and says, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how pretty do you think I am?" "I'd say you're about the average but I don't want to make this a mean joke."
• Hey girl, are you the big bang? Cause you're pretty hot, but very dense
• Boy: your teeth are like stars GIRL: Aww.. thanks are they that much pretty?
  Boy: no, far away from each other
• One American in Rome, Drinking beer at street cafe when a pretty girl sat beside him. American: Hello, do you understand English?
  Girl: only little.
  American: How much?
  Girl: Fifty dollars.

Pretty Bad Jokes

Here is a list of funny pretty bad jokes and even better pretty bad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• a pretty bad joke my dad once told me what do you get when you cross a elephant, rhino, and a hippo?
  helliphino
• Geez, there's a lot of people on this Ashley Madison list... It's a pretty bad state of affairs
• When a guy describes himself as an alpha, I often think that's a pretty accurate description... Because after all, alpha is slow, heavy and really bad at penetrating biological material.
• I always looks for a chick who is into bad boys. Because I'm pretty much bad at everything.
• I'm pretty bad at the dab, but I still do it on a regular basis I guess you could say I dabble
• Things are pretty bad right now Van Diesel was forced to change his name to Van Electric due to increasing gas prices.
• I was told that the friendship between sodium, potassium, and oxygen was bad. I said, "Na. Pretty sure it is OK."
• Self depreciation is my best skill, And I'm pretty bad at it.
• Man: May I buy you a drink, pretty lady? Woman: No thanks, alcohol is bad for my legs.
  Man: Do they swell?
  Woman: No, they spread
• I got pretty sick after eating some raw salmon It's a bad case of chickenella.

Pretty Face Jokes

Here is a list of funny pretty face jokes and even better pretty face puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• There's a support group for people addicted to plastic surgery... The head of the group walks in and says, "I'm seeing a lot of new faces this week, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."
• "Hello everyone, welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous." "I see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."
• My friend set me up on a date. He told me she constantly make Shrek references. I was pretty sceptical but then I saw her face
• I really like rock puns. They're something we shouldn't take for granite. I mean, they are pretty solid.
  Let's just face it, geology rocks!
  PS: I just hit rock bottom, didn't I?
• This morning I slipped on a gum ball and landed on my face pretty hard. Actually it was a jaw breaker
• My brother when he was 5 told me the following joke: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Now, he said the following with a pretty serious and sad look on his face: Because he was dead.
• I got slapped in the face for asking a girl if she was interested in one night stand. Pretty rude, considering I was going to give her a discount on it as well.
• So, a horse walks into a bar... The bartender asks "Why the long face?" And Ann Coulter just flips her hair around while trying to remember when her parents told her she was pretty.

Pretty Boy Jokes

Here is a list of funny pretty boy jokes and even better pretty boy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What is a werewolf's favourite month? Aaawoo-gust!
  (The boy just came up with this one. Pretty impressed!)
• Am I PRETTY or UGLY Girl: (asking her boyfriend) Am I pretty or ugly.
  Boy: you are both
  Girl: What do you mean?
  Boy: You are pretty ugly
• You've heard of "boy who cried wolf", but what about "man who cried pig"? I heard the rest of the blind date was pretty awkward!
• Two native-american boys are walking through a forest One spots a bug on the ground, points to it and says to the other, "ew, squash it!" The other says, "no, i'm pretty sure it's a bug."
• A boy was singing one day His dad said" hey, that's pretty good, can you sing tenor? Ten or eleven miles away from me"
• Celeb boxing match: Soulja Boy Vs. Chris Brown I'm gonna put my money on Chris Brown because he's pretty good at beating up women.
• I found school pretty tough as a little girl So I went back to dressing as a boy
• The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas (Spoilers) Near the end of the book I think Bruno felt pretty gassed.
• A boy and his frog... (Pretty messed up)

Fun-Filled Pretty Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about pretty you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean perfect jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pretty pranks.