Pretty Jokes

184 pretty jokes and hilarious pretty puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pretty that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article shares an array of surprisingly pretty jokes that will put a smile on your face. From a pretty girl to a pretty good joke, even a pretty boy, a Pretty Little Liars joke, or a Pretty in Pink pun, this article has some pretty face, pretty eye, and even some pretty bad jokes. Don't miss out on the chance to giggle at some of these handsomely funny UFOS.

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jokes about pretty

Best Short Pretty Jokes

Short pretty puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pretty humour may include short beautiful jokes also.

  1. If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
    On the other hand, you don't.
  2. I slept with a girl who works at Netflix last night It was pretty cool, she even recommended some girls I might like to sleep with next
  3. TIL "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. At least, I'm pretty sure...
  4. I'm seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife… But I'm pretty sure she'll figure out I'm just after my money.
  5. Fun fact: "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. . . At least, I'm pretty sure that's correct.
  6. My crush told me that I'm pretty. Well, the whole sentence was "you're pretty annoying", but I focus only on the positive things.
  7. I just read a list of "100 Things To Do Before You Die". I was pretty surprised that "yell for help" wasn't one of them.
  8. Valentine's.... For the past 10 years I've been getting valentine's card from a secret admirer, so I was pretty upset when I didn't get one this year.
    First my gran dies, now this!
  9. Lots of guys aren't too happy with getting a "dad bod" eventually in life. But I'd say im pretty excited for it Because it's the closest thing I'm gonna get to having a father figure in my life
  10. Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same.... Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal...
Pretty joke, Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same....

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about pretty can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of pretty puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Pretty One Liners

Which pretty one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pretty? I can suggest the ones about pleasant and nice.

  1. If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock. That's pretty humerus.
  2. I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.
  3. I built a 1:1000000 model of a German submarine. It's a pretty good µ-boat.
  4. How much does a rainbow weigh? Not much, they're pretty light.
  5. Great wine is like great jazz... It confuses me and I'm pretty sure it's all the same.
  6. My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died She was eaten by a giant crab
  7. I'm 36 but have the body an 18-year-old The police are pretty upset about it.
  8. How much does a rainbow weigh? Not much, they're actually pretty light.
  9. Feminists just want to be treated equally To the pretty ones.
  10. I became a proud father today.... My son's 4 but he's been pretty annoying until now
  11. I had a date tonight. It was pretty sweet. Next, I'm going to try a fig.
  12. 90 degrees is pretty hot for most people, But for mathematicians, it's just right.
  13. Guys, the USA is looking pretty bad... I think its time for USB.
  14. American conservatives are pretty homophobic for people so proud of their four fathers
  15. My wife and I decided to not have kids the kids took it pretty hard

Pretty Good Jokes

Here is a list of funny pretty good jokes and even better pretty good puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My sense of humor is a lot like COVID Tasteless, not good for large groups, and anyone who gets it is pretty sick.
  • I just got the new iPhone for my wife All things considered a pretty good trade.
  • I like to think I'm a pretty good man. I give over 50% of my paycheck to Charity. But when she's not working I give it to Destiny.
  • I wrote a poem. I dig.
    You dig.
    She digs.
    He digs.
    They dig.
    We dig.
    Now I know it's not a very good poem, but it's pretty deep.
  • Two goats were behind a Hollywood movie studio eating an old movie film. One goat said to the other, "Pretty good, huh?"
    The second goat said, "Yeah, but not as good as the book".
  • People say cannibals are disgusting human beings But this one tastes pretty good
  • My wife's cooking is pretty good, but it makes me sad when she uses so much spice. I'm starting to think I have seasonal depression.
  • I once had 4 blowouts at once, but managed to drive on the metal of my rims from New York to New Jersey. I did pretty good, but the hero of the moment was my car. It worked tirelessly.
  • Two goats chew on a VHS tape. The first goat says "*This film is pretty good"* and the other one replies: "*Yeah, it's OK but the book was better."*
  • Coming up with a good Reddit post is usually pretty hard. But today it's a piece of cake!

Pretty Girl Jokes

Here is a list of funny pretty girl jokes and even better pretty girl puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If you call a girl pretty, she'll forget after a day. If you call a girl fat, she'll never forget it, because elephants never forget.
  • I used to be scared of pretty girls, So my Mom explained that was silly, because they're much more scared of me.
  • I asked a pretty, young, homeless girl if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. Her expression changed, however when I walked away with her cardboard box.
  • I've been dating a homeless girl So I've been dating this homeless girl.
    Things are getting pretty serious.
    She asked me to move out with her.
  • Today I set my location on Tinder to Flint, Michigan Because I bet those girls are pretty thirsty.
  • One time I walked into a bathroom and there were no urinals I thought, "huh... that's strange." The girls that came in after me were apparently pretty freaked out by it too.
  • I used to date a girl with a lazy eye I broke up with her though, cos I'm pretty sure she was seeing someone on the side.
    Credit to /u/MoreMajorSins for this awesome dad joke!
  • A girl came up to me and said she recognised me from Vegan Club. Pretty sure I'd never met herbivore
  • I thought I was pretty lucky… I used to date two girls Kate & Edith at the same time. Unfortunately, it didn't work out. It turns out you can't have your Kate and Edith, too.
  • Roy Moore opened a clothing store in Birmingham, but it was quickly shut down. Parents were pretty upset when they realized "Teen girls clothes always half off" was the entry policy, not a sale.

Pretty Bad Jokes

Here is a list of funny pretty bad jokes and even better pretty bad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome... It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I kinda liked it.
  • a pretty bad joke my dad once told me what do you get when you cross a elephant, rhino, and a hippo?
  • Geez, there's a lot of people on this Ashley Madison list... It's a pretty bad state of affairs
  • Two Mafia hitmen are walking through the forest at night when one of them says "I have to admit, it's pretty scary out here." The other replies, "You think this is bad? I have to walk back alone."
  • The wife and I decided we're not gonna have kids. The kids are taking it pretty badly.
  • Just finished reading a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at the start but by the end I liked it.
  • When a guy describes himself as an alpha, I often think that's a pretty accurate description... Because after all, alpha is slow, heavy and really bad at penetrating biological material.
  • I always looks for a chick who is into bad boys. Because I'm pretty much bad at everything.
  • I'm pretty bad at the dab, but I still do it on a regular basis I guess you could say I dabble
  • Things are pretty bad right now Van Diesel was forced to change his name to Van Electric due to increasing gas prices.

Pretty Face Jokes

Here is a list of funny pretty face jokes and even better pretty face puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • There's a support group for people addicted to plastic surgery... The head of the group walks in and says, "I'm seeing a lot of new faces this week, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."
  • "Hello everyone, welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous." "I see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."
  • If a guy says you're hot, he's looking at your body. If he says you're pretty, he's looking at your face... If he says you're fabulous, he's looking at your brother
  • My friend set me up on a date. He told me she constantly make Shrek references. I was pretty sceptical but then I saw her face
  • Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Addiction Clinic I can see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I've gotta say, I'm pretty dissapointed.
  • If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
  • Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Judging by your face, you hit pretty hard.
  • Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!
  • I really like rock puns. They're something we shouldn't take for granite. I mean, they are pretty solid.
    Let's just face it, geology rocks!
    PS: I just hit rock bottom, didn't I?
  • This morning I slipped on a gum ball and landed on my face pretty hard. Actually it was a jaw breaker

Pretty Boy Jokes

Here is a list of funny pretty boy jokes and even better pretty boy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Boy: your teeth are like stars GIRL: Aww.. thanks are they that much pretty?
    Boy: no, far away from each other
  • Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?" Boy says... Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
    Boyfriend: "You're both."
    Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"
    Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."
  • A girl asks a boy: "Am I pretty or ugly?" The boy answers: "Both."
    "What do you mean?"
    "You're pretty ugly."
  • What is a werewolf's favourite month? Aaawoo-gust!
    (The boy just came up with this one. Pretty impressed!)
  • Am I PRETTY or UGLY Girl: (asking her boyfriend) Am I pretty or ugly.
    Boy: you are both
    Girl: What do you mean?
    Boy: You are pretty ugly
  • You've heard of "boy who cried wolf", but what about "man who cried pig"? I heard the rest of the blind date was pretty awkward!
  • Two native-american boys are walking through a forest One spots a bug on the ground, points to it and says to the other, "ew, squash it!" The other says, "no, i'm pretty sure it's a bug."
  • A boy was singing one day His dad said" hey, that's pretty good, can you sing tenor? Ten or eleven miles away from me"
  • The beastie boys have released a 5 part greatest hits collection. Parts A, B, C and D are pretty easy to get.
    But you have to Fight for your right to Part E.....
  • Celeb boxing match: Soulja Boy Vs. Chris Brown I'm gonna put my money on Chris Brown because he's pretty good at beating up women.
Pretty joke, Celeb boxing match: Soulja Boy Vs. Chris Brown

Fun-Filled Pretty Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about pretty you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean perfect jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make pretty prank.

I was pretty excited when I heard Logan Paul went into a s**... forest

A little upset to find out he came back

No Nut November was pretty tough

Now I can finally eat nuts again, thank God I had m**... to keep my mind off of the sweet little b**....

I was in a pub...

I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them chirped saying, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!"
So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"
That's pretty much the last thing I remember...

A wife gets n**...

…and asks her husband, 'What turns you on more! my pretty face or my s**... body?' 
Husband looks her up and down for a moment and replies, 'Your sense of humor.'

So a doctor has s**... with one of his patients...

And is feeling pretty down about it. On his left shoulder appears a devil. The devil consoles him saying "Hey man, don't even worry about it. Doctors have s**... with their patients all the time. You are definitely not the only one." Then on his right shoulder appears an angel who says "Come on man! You're a vet!!"

So I tried Colgate for the first time.. was not impressed-

The tube said 'Guaranteed whiteness in 3 brushes". 3 brushes later, I'm still Asian.
(Speaking of still Asians, my grandma's a quadriplegic. She's a pretty still Asian)

A man and a woman are lying in bed late night...

...and the woman asks her man: "Honey, do you prefer smart or pretty women?" and the man responds calmly: "Neither, baby, I prefer you."

There were 2 blondes...

So I was sat on my porch one day and I saw 2 blondes working hard at the end of the street. One was digging a hole and the other would fill it in immediately after the first was done. This went on for about 2 hours until I walked over and said "Hey, you two are working pretty hard there, but I don't understand what you are trying to achieve?"
To which one of the blondes replied "Well there's usually 3 of us, but the one who plants the trees is off sick today".

England fans must be pretty happy right now.

They've been waiting years for their team to play like Spain.

Did you hear about the limo driver who was in business for 25 years without a single customer?

All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.
I'm pretty sure this is the joke that will yield me my fortune.

Little Billy comes home early from school, only to find his Dad m**... in the living room...

As Billy is quite young, he is shocked and confused at what he is seeing. His Dad tries to explain:
"Don't be scared, Billy. I'm not hurting myself, I'm doing something completely normal. In fact, you are going to start doing it pretty soon as well."
"Why is that, Dad?", young Billy asks.
"Because, son, my hand is getting tired and I need someone to take over."

Pretty soon the only place you will be able to buy a Confederate flag will be the black market.

Oh the irony.

I always wanted to tell jokes...

I always wanted to tell jokes, but I had pretty severe social anxiety. So, I wrote the jokes down on pieces of paper and taped the paper to frisbees. Then I threw the frisbees at passers by so they could read my jokes.
The trouble was, most of them flew right over their heads.

Letter from 7 to 6

Dear 6,
Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you two do some pretty n**... things together.

My s**... life and gaming life are pretty similar.

I play a lot of single player.

Russia might not celebrate thanksgiving but I'm pretty sure they will be frying a turkey.

So the other day, my friend told me that I have no idea what irony meant...

Which was pretty ironic, considering we were at a bus stop.

Getting drunk

at the bar the other night when the bar tender yelled out "Does anyone here know CPR?" I was feeling pretty good so i yelled back "I do, in fact i know the whole alphabet!" Everybody in the entire bar laughed..........except for o**....

The Wisdom of an Older Man

An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall.
''Excuse me; I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?''
The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, ''Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?''
''I have no idea, but every time I talk to a pretty woman, she seems to appear out of nowhere.''

I met a pretty girl.

Today i asked a pretty young homeless women if i could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.
The look on her face soon changed when i walked off with her cardboard box.

A little boy is hit by a bus...

...and things are not looking good. So an old lady leans over and says to the boy:
"Son you got hit pretty bad, I know it's hard to hear the truth but I'm afraid you might meet Jesus soon. Would you like to see a priest?"
To which the little boy replies:
"How can you think about s**... in a time like this?"

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint.

The barkeeper says "you're in here pretty often. Think you might be an alcoholic?", to which the horse says "I don't think I am.", and vanishes from existence.
See, the joke is about Descartes' famous philosophy of 'I think therefor I am", but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be to put Descartes before the horse.

I don't mean to make sweeping generalizations

but all brooms are pretty much the same.

My wife and I decided to not have children.

The kids are pretty upset.

I went to a party last night...

..and everyone was watching a movie on the TV. I being introverted, hadn't talked with anyone and was watching movie by myself. When the movie ended, everyone was debating on what to watch next.
I decided to put on the movie I had brought from home. It was pretty funny and had Jim Carrey in it.
Everyone really like it. People started talking to me and thanking me for the movie. No one cared who I was until I put on The Mask.

My ex is like the Mona Lisa

It's not that she is pretty or anything, but I would be ecstatic if I came home to find her hanging in the living room

Call it a hunch...

But I'm pretty sure I have an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine.

My buddy just came to me all depressed and said My son flunked the third grade, and I just don't know how to break it to him.

So I said well…probably better tell him pretty slowly, so the little d**... will get it."

I put a bumper sticker on my car that says "honk if I'm pretty"

Sometimes when I'm sad I go park at green lights

Ladies: A guide to understanding what guys say...

* If a guy says you're hot, he's looking at your body.
* If a guy says you're pretty, he's looking at your face.
* If a guy says you're fabulous, he's looking at your brother.

Son: "I got expelled"

Dad: "How?"
Son: "I wrote 2 + 2 = 41 on the whiteboard."
Dad: "That's pretty dumb but-"
Son: "Then my teacher told me to go up to the board..."
Dad: "Ok?"
Son: "And rub 1 out."

A flight attendant sees a suspicious couple on board...

She decides to report it to the pilot immediately.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! The female passenger looks pretty frightened and the man she is with looks dangerous!"
The pilot responds, "Patricia, I've told you before. This is Air Force One..."

An old farmer wrote a letter to his innocent son in prison:

"This year I'm unable to plant potatoes because I can't dig the ground. I know if you were here you would've helped me."
His son replied: "You idiot, don't dig the ground, I have hidden guns there."
Pretty soon, the Police read the letter, and the very next day the ground was dug by the police, and searched for guns but nothing was found.
The son wrote again: "Now plant your potatoes dad, its the best I could do from here."

They say one in ten men are homosexual

In my group of friends I'm pretty sure it's Marc. He's really cute

A day in the life of an IT guy...

Customer: Hi, my computer isn't working.
IT guy: OK, what happens when you try to turn it on?
Customer: Nothing.
IT guy: Can you check to see if it's plugged into the outlet?
Customer: Uhhhh I dunno it's pretty dark back there...
IT guy: ...Can you turn on a light?
Customer: Nope. The power's out.

My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations.

I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.

A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery

A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:
-Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?
-It's pretty much worthless.
-I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.

Recently asked a friend, "What's the worst thing about being divorced three times?"

With some thought, he finally said, Well, all of them were pretty good house keepers...
How is that a bad thing? I wondered.
He replied, Every time I've divorced, they've kept my house.

The first time I had s**... was in my parents' bedroom

My girlfriend said "it's pretty awkward".
"Just ignore them", I said.

Getting married is great. But, before you do it, there are some things you have to consider.

On one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't.

Every cook has a secret

The Admiral was visiting one of his ships. When having tea he noticed that every biscuit has the ship's insignia embossed on it.
He is impressed and calls the cook to ask him how he does this.
Cook: When rolling the biscuits I slap each one onto my belt buckle before putting them in the oven.
Admiral: That's pretty unhygienic.
Cook: In that case sir, I'd suggest you skip the doughnuts.

Growing up, my dad said we should treat him like a god... we pretty much ignored him until we were sick, hurt, or broke.

A duck walks into a bar...

And orders a hundred bottles of scotch.
The bartender says, "That's gonna be pretty expensive. How are you gonna pay for all that liquor?"
The duck replies, "Just put it on my tab."
A nearby bar patron cheekily says, "Don't you mean 'put it on my bill'?"
The duck says to the bartender, "Okay, put it on his bill."

a guy picking up his kids at school sees another kid and says loudly "god, what an ugly kid!"

The person standing next to him says "he's my son..."
The guy, pretty embarassed, replies "oh man, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were his father"
"I'm his mom..."

I don't mind the Chinese students in my Math class being really good at the subject

But I must say, it's pretty c**... of them to do the problems with their eyes closed.

A girl asked her boyfriend "Which do you love more, my pretty face more or my s**... body?"

Boyfriend - "I love your sense of humor most"

My Southern friends are like "K"s

they're alright when they are by themselves, but get 3 of 'em together and it gets pretty racist

I started carrying a knife after a failed mugging attempt last year...

All my attempts have been pretty successful this year.

The only thing round earthers have to fear... nuclear war. That'll flatten things pretty quickly.

My friend is pretty sick and tired of PC culture

I tried to console him but he didn't want his hand held

It's 2018, we need to stop calling things gay just because they are lame.

So what if there are no women at this bar? Most of the guys are really nice and some of them even bought me drinks, and that's pretty cool if you ask me.

Two good friends go golfing

Two good friends go golfing and they come up on two women who are moving like molasses. o**... says that he'll go up and ask if they can play through. When he's half way to the women, he freezes, turns around and comes back pretty pale.
"Sorry man, I can't do it! One's my wife and the other my mistress!"
The other guy says he'll ask instead. Halfway to the women he suddenly stops turns around and comes back shaking his head. "Small world bro!"

A man who pretends to be rich in order to attract pretty, young women is not a "Sugar Daddy".

He's an artificial sweetner.

A horse walks into a bar...

... and orders a pint. The bartender then says "You know, you're in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"
The horse responds "I don't think I am..." and promptly vanishes from existence.

See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous line from philosophy: "I think, therefore I am." But if I had explained that before the rest of the joke, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

An original joke from my 7 year old daughter

Did you hear the joke about the piece of paper?
Don't worry about it, it's tearable!
{I'm sure someone in history has used this pun, but I was pretty impressed with her effort!}

An employee sees his boss arrive at work one day in a brand new Lamborghini.

The employee goes out to the car park and says to his boss Wow that's an amazing car! I wish I had one just like it, that must have cost you a pretty penny!
The boss stands up, looks the employee in the face and says Yes, it did. And do you know something? Next year, if you work really hard, and you do your overtime, and you save your pennies, and you do your absolute best then maybe...
The employee, mystified and excited for what comes next, says yes...
The boss looks into the employees eyes and says then maybe... I'll have another one next year.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint

The bartender says You know, you're in here pretty often, do you think you might be an alcoholic?
The horse says I don't think I am.. and promptly disappears from existence.
See this was a joke about Descarte's famous philosophy line I think therefore I am but if I had explained that before the rest of the joke I would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

Pretty joke, A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these pretty jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.