I don't know why she became so mad. It's pretty fucking hard to write on sand.
She said "Fuck you".
So I'm pretty excited for 2019.
She said "fuck you". So i'm pretty excited about 2017.
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't.
I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet."
---
I told her i'm pretty good but I don't think i'm ready to compete in a tournament yet.
A little upset to find out he came back
I just really love dick.
Now I can finally eat nuts again, thank God I had masturbation to keep my mind off of the sweet little bastards.
That's pretty humerus.
The husband replies, "I wanted to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry." The woman then asks, "What do think of me now?" The husband takes a good slow look, running his eyes up and down all over her body. Finally, he answers, "I think I did a pretty good job."
It was pretty cool, she even recommended some girls I might like to sleep with next
Except for Chris Brown
She decides to report it to the pilot immediately.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! The female passenger looks pretty frightened and the man she is with looks dangerous!"
The pilot responds, "Patricia, I've told you before. This is Air Force One..."
made a language entirely out of tattoos.
She said «Fuck you». So im pretty excited for 2018
At least, I'm pretty sure...
FP
It's a pretty good µ-boat.
A woman asks her husband, "What did you think of me when you first met me?" The husband replies, "I wanted to shag your brains out and suck your tits dry." The woman then asks, "What do think of me now?" To which the husband replies, "I think I did a pretty good job."
But I'm pretty sure she'll figure out I'm just after my money.
So I said well…probably better tell him pretty slowly, so the little dumbass will get it."
There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses and the results were pretty interesting.
30% of women think their ass is too fat,
10% of women think their ass is too skinny,
The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he is a good man, and wouldn't trade him for the world
I was pretty surprised that "yell for help" wasn't one of them.
Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty and quiet female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat, sweaty, old slob who looks like a sexual deviant!
The captain responds, You must be new here. This is Air Force One.
People asked me how I could tell them apart. It was pretty simple, Rachel always painted her nails purple and Dave had a cock.
In my group of friends I'm pretty sure it's Marc. He's really cute
The doctor tells them theres been a mix up and doesn't know who's baby is who's. The English man runs in and grabs the only brown baby and starts to walk out. The Indian man looks relly confused and says "I'm pretty sure that's not your baby it looks Indian so it's mine". The English man says "I know, but there's not a chance in hell I'm leaving here with a baby that could be Welsh."
Oh the irony.
It confuses me and I'm pretty sure it's all the same.
Little 8 year old Susie is in her back yard digging a hole. Her neighbor Mr. Johnson peeks over the fence and says "gee Susie, what's going on?"
Susie says "I'm digging a hole, it's pretty obvious."
Mr. Johnson asks "why are you digging a hole?"
Susie replies "I'm burying my gold fish."
Mr Johnson laughs and asks "Why is the hole so big?"
Susie replies "Because my goldfish is inside your fucking cat".
I once dated a girl who had a twin.
People always asked me how I could tell them apart.
It was pretty simple, Rachel always painted her nails purple and Dave had a cock.
She was eaten by a giant crab
The police are pretty upset about it.
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:
-Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?
-Sure.
-It's pretty much worthless.
-I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.
at the bar the other night when the bar tender yelled out "Does anyone here know CPR?" I was feeling pretty good so i yelled back "I do, in fact i know the whole alphabet!" Everybody in the entire bar laughed..........except for one guy.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Pretty? Well, here are the best Pretty dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Pretty pick up lines to share with friends.