Pretty Cool Jokes
93 pretty cool jokes and hilarious pretty cool puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about pretty cool that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Pretty Cool Short Jokes
Short pretty cool jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The pretty cool humour may include short pretty interesting jokes also.
- If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't. - I slept with a girl who works at Netflix last night It was pretty cool, she even recommended some girls I might like to sleep with next
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it... So I did. We had a few drinks, pretty cool guy, said he works as a web developer.
- Getting married is great. But, before you do it, there are some things you have to consider. On one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't. - My bank has a new feature where they'll text you your bank balance. I think it's pretty cool. I just don't think they should end the text with "LOL", though.
- A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.. The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow, that's pretty cool! Where'd you get it?"
The parrot replies, "In Africa, they're everywhere!" - Getting tired of these people who come to my door, telling me I'm gonna burn unless I'm saved... The flashing lights on their trucks were pretty cool to see, though.
- Mother told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. Went for a few drinks, pretty cool guy actually. Wants to be a web developer.
- If any of you are thinking of getting married, please consider this carefully On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't. - This guy walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder... and the bartender says, that's a pretty cool lizard, what's his name?
The guy says, "Tiny, because he's minute"
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Pretty Cool One Liners
Which pretty cool one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with pretty cool? I can suggest the ones about cool and pretty good.
- I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.
- I got a new fridge today. It's pretty cool.
- I once heard that hypothermia Is a pretty cool way to go
- Asian people are pretty cool If only they could see that..
- You know, being unsure if I'm a plant is actually pretty cool. Am I rye?
- Skull shaped ice cubes are pretty cool Well, for a few minutes at least.
- The Enlightenment must have been pretty cool. It was LIT.
- Some people don't like tree huggers. But I think Paul Walker was pretty cool.
- People with insomnia are pretty cool They're up for anything
- I support all genders! Both of them do seem pretty cool.
- I saw a girl pour glitter into an ice box... It's pretty cool.
- You know what's pretty cool? A cellar :)
- My friend said I should move to Alaska... ..He said it's pretty cool there.
- I once met a guy with multiple personalities. He was pretty cool. Aww, thank you!
- Having Dragon Ball Z powers would be pretty cool... I'm just Saiyan.
Rib-Tickling Pretty Cool Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about pretty cool you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean awesome jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make pretty cool pranks.
The new french tank is pretty cool, it can go in 16 directions.
15 of which go backwards, 1 goes forwards in case the enemy comes from behind.
COWBOY WHISPERER
Cowboy: "That your dog?"
Indian: "Yep."
Cowboy: "Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Indian: (Look of shock!)
Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" (Pointing at the Indian...)
Dog: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes
me to the lake once a week to play."
Indian: (Look of total disbelief)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Indian: "Horse no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Indian...)
Horse: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down
often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather........"
Indian: (Look of total amazement)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Indian: "Sheep lie..... "
A guy walks into a bar...
and takes a seat. After ordering a beer, he pulls out a little 10 inch man playing a matching piano, and sets it on the bar.
The guy next to him says, "Hey, that's pretty cool! Where did you get that?"
He replies, "I got it from my genie, you just have to rub this magic lamp."
He then hands the guy the lamp, he rubs it, and a genie comes out.
The genie says, "You may have one wish!"
The guy, all excited, says, "I want a million bucks!"
Genie says, "Your wish is my command". He waves his arms, and one million ducks start flying through the bar.
The guy, confused and a little upset, yells, "Hey! I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!?"
Guy who gave him the lamp says, "Yeah, you think I asked for a 10 inch pianist?"
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are sitting in a boat...
The priest says, "I'm thirsty. I'm going to the shore to get something to drink."
So he walks across the water to the shore, gets a soda, walks back across the water, and gets back in the boat. A little while later, the minister says, "I'm thirsty. I'm going to the shore to get something to drink."
So the minister gets up, walks to the shore, gets a soda, and walks back, just like the priest did. The rabbi thinks to himself "Hey, that's pretty cool. I think I'll try it." So the rabbi gets up, saying "I'm thirsty, I'm going to the shore to get something to drink."
So he steps out of the boat and drowns.
Then the priest says to the minister, "Do you think we should have told him about the rocks?"
Jar Full of $10 Bills
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of $10 bills on the bar. He goes to the barkeep and says "Hey, what's up with that jar?"
The bartender responds "Well, you put in 10 bucks, do 3 challenges, and if you do them you get the whole jar."
The man says "Wow that's pretty cool, what are the challenges?"
The barkeep lists "Well, first ya gotta drink a whole bottle of hot sauce, and no nursing. Second, there's a dog out back who has a sore tooth and he's real grouchy, and you gotta take out the bad tooth bare handed. Last, there's this old lady upstairs who's never done the hokey pokey, if ya know what I mean, and you gotta fix that."
The man replies in disgust "I can't do any of those!" So the man gets drunk. Being drunk, he decides he can do anything and says "Hand me the bottle of hot sauce." So the bartender hands the man the bottle and the man drinks the whole, straight down. He then goes outside to deal with the dog. As the door shuts you hear yelping and screaming and hollering and growling and then.... dead silence... The door creaks open and the man walks in. He's all covered in blood, his shirts torn, he's missing hair... and in a drunken slur he asks "Where's the old lady with the tooth problem?"
VENTRILOQUIST COWBOY
A ventriloquist cowboy walked into town and saw a rancher sitting on his porch with his dog:
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"
Rancher: "This dog don't talk!"
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin alright"
Rancher: (Extreme look of shock)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner? (pointing at rancher)"
Dog: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Rancher: (Look of disbelief)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Rancher: "Horses don't talk!"
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it goin?"
Horse: "Cool."
Rancher: (an even wilder look of shock)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at rancher)
Horse: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Rancher: (total look of amazement)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your SHEEP?"
Rancher: (stuttering, and hardly able to talk) ...... "Th-Th-Them sheep ain't nothin but liars!!!"
Mixed Signals
Ben is sitting at home reading a magazine or something, I dunno, and his phone rings. He answers, "Hey, who's this?"
"Sup, Ben. It's Frank," is the reply.
B: "Hey, what's up, man?"
F: "Listen, I need some relationship advice. Can you help me?"
B: "Sure."
F: "Cool, thanks. Anyway, I've been seeing this girl lately. I'm really starting to like her, but I don't know what she's thinking. She's giving me mixed signals."
B: "How so?"
F: "Well, she said that she 'loved me like a brother.'"
B: "That seems pretty clear to me. She obviously just doesn't have a romantic attraction to you."
F: "Yeah, well that's the thing: she's from Kentucky."
A man was crossing a road when a frog called out to him and...
...said: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful woman."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful woman I will stay with you for an entire week!"
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it in to his pocket.
The frog cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a woman, I'll stay with you for a year."
Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally the frog asked: "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful woman and that I'd stay with you for a year. Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said: "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."
Cowboy and the memorizing Indian
A cowboy walks into a saloon. The bartender says "Hey, wanna see something really interesting? That Indian over in the corner can remember ANYTHING. If you ask him anything about his life, he'll remember the answer." Cowboy thinks that sounds pretty cool, so he wanders over to the ancient Indian, sitting alone in the corner. He says "So chief, what did you eat for breakfast last Tuesday?" The Indian stares at him for a long moment before replying "eggs". The cowboy thinks "He could just be making that up." But he doesn't really care, and wanders away. The cowboy strikes it rich, finds a ton of gold, and returns to town a wealthy man. He goes back into the saloon and sees the same Indian sitting in the same corner. He gets a little loaded, and feeling like a big man, he swaggers over to the Indian and says "HOW". The Indian stares at him for a long moment before replying "Scrambled."
Dad take his son to work.
Man who works at a sausage processing plant brings his ungrateful son to work to try and bond with him. The father shows his son around the factory trying to impress him in the hopes the boy will turn around and appreciate his father more.
After relentless failure the father tell his son, "I'm going to show you the coolest machine in the factory, and I'm the one who uses it." The son isn't phased one bit so off they go to the machine.
The father says "Behold son the linkPro 3000, All you do is throw a whole pig in this end and out comes freshly linked sausage! pretty cool aye?"
The boy replies "meh not really, why don't you have a machine that can make whole pigs when you put the sausage in first?"
The father replies "We do, its at home and you call her mom."
I sat down and watched this movie with nicolas cage the other day...
We talked through the whole movie and he is actually a pretty cool guy.
Last Night..
I was about to kill a spider. My wife told me to take it out instead. Turns out he's a pretty cool guy, his names Luke and he want's to be a lawyer.
I Have A Pet Pet Rock Named Roxanne
She's pretty cool, I've had her since she was just a pebble.
Plank goes to a ball game
A small plank of wood goes to Watch a baseball game. For the first few innings, the plank is super into it. But by the seventh inning, its interest starts to fade.
A man nearby notices the fading enjoyment and starts up a conversation.
"Hey man, how you liking the game?" He asks.
"I really like it. I think it's pretty cool" the small plank replies.
"Really," says the man, "cuz it seems to me like you're a little board."
Someone asked me the other day whole my favorite superhero is...
I said that I thought iceman was pretty cool
I got pretty cool moves while dancing...
But they say, so do people with parkinsons.
My wifi has been down for the past few days...
My wifi has been down for the past few days so I've been conversing with my family. They're actually pretty cool.
Logic at the Community College
Looking for a little knowledge, Jimmy walks into his local community college and asks the admissions clerk on duty what classes are being offered. The clerk tells Jimmy there is a logic course starting up soon.
"Logic?" Asks Jimmy, "what's that?"
"Logic is real easy, let me explain it this way, Jimmy do you own a lawnmower?"
"Why yes I do"
"Ok, that must mean you've got a yard"
"Yup"
"If you've got a yard, then you must have a house"
"Sure do"
"And if you've got a house, you probably have kids"
"Three of them!"
"Wow, then you must be a heterosexual male with a beautiful wife at home"
"Yes, yes! This logic thing is pretty cool, sign me up!"
Later that day Jimmy goes home and sees his neighbor Gary and tells Gary about his new college course. Gary says "logic? What's that?"
"Well let me explain it like this", says Jimmy. "Do you own a lawnmower Gary?"
"No, I always borrow yours"
"Well then you must be a homosexual!"
A penguin takes his car to a mechanic because there is a funny noise coming from under the hood.
Leave it with me, says the mechanic. Come back in 20 minutes.
So, off goes the penguin. It's a pretty hot day and he's a cool weather kind of guy so on spotting an
ice cream van he goes and buys himself a 99. Now, penguins aren't very good at eating ice creams—
the lack of opposable thumbs makes it tricky. So by the time the penguin has finished his 99, he is
completely covered in ice cream. It is all over his beak and all over his flippers. Feeling a little
sticky, he goes back to the garage.
Oh, hello, says the mechanic, wiping his hands on a cloth.
Hello, replies the penguin. Was it anything serious?
Not really, but it looks like you've blown a seal.
Oh no, no, no! says the penguin, wiping his mouth. It's just ice cream.
I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.
I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.
I don't know Jack!!!
But I hear he's pretty cool
Back when I was in school...
I was a huge metal fan. One day this really pretty girl came over and sat down next to me in the lunch room. I tried so hard to be cool, I'd never tried to be cool so hard in my life!
Then the worst possible thing happened. The teacher started walking over towards me, and when she got there... she unplugged me.
I've got a friend whose nickname is s**...'.
You might think that's pretty cool.
She doesn't like it.
During the major outage on Google services..
..I went to the living room and I found out, that my girlfriend is actually a pretty cool girl and I have a lot to talk about with her.
I once knew a n**... guy who lived in the north pole
He was pretty cool
Son : Why's my sister called Teresa?
Dad : Cause your mom and I love Easter, it's an anagram
Son : Oh wow that's pretty cool
Dad : I know Alan
I once had my very own flee circus
It was pretty cool until all the performers left in the middle of the show :(
Why was the albino, glasses-wearing man okay with a wizard turning him into a cool looking bug?
He was a pretty fly, four eyed, white guy.
Your like an Air Conditioner
Your pretty cool but you take all of the moisture out of the air
My friend was bragging in a bar about having an o**... at school when he was younger.
It would have been pretty cool, but we knew he was homeschooled.
A guy walks into a bar
He takes some of the free peanuts, but before he eats one, it says Hey, cool shirt . Guy says to the bartender Those peanuts are pretty nice . Bartender says Yeah, they're complimentary
A snail walks into a car dealership
It takes a look at the new sportscar. The salesman says the snail would look pretty cool in the new sportscar and the snail agrees.
Salesman asked the snail about option packages, rustproofing...you know the deal. The snail says no to everything offered, but says he wants one thing done to the car...to have 'S' painted all over the car. Salesman, confused, asks why would you want 'S' painted all over your brand new sportscar??? Snail replies "So when I drive by, everybody will say look at that 'S' car go...."
It's 2018, we need to stop calling things gay just because they are lame.
So what if there are no women at this bar? Most of the guys are really nice and some of them even bought me drinks, and that's pretty cool if you ask me.
Do you know anything about the Canadian alphabet?
It's pretty much the same... but I think they have a pretty cool eh
I recently moved in with my girlfriend and her really cute dog.
However, it is really loud and is starting to annoy me. The dog is pretty cool though.
I dated a girl who owned a parrot once.
She was so annoying. Always mocked my voice, interrupted my phone calls, and wouldn't shut up.
The parrot was pretty cool, though, I guess.
I'm not sure who Christian Singles is...
but he sounds like a pretty cool guy. I get like 10 emails per day telling me to meet Christian Singles.
A man goes to prison.
The first night while he's laying in bed contemplating his situation, he hears someone yell out, "44!" Followed by laughter from the other prisoners.
He thought that was pretty odd, then he heard someone else yell out, "72!" Followed by even more laughter.
"What's going on?" he asked his cellmate.
"Well, we've all heard every joke so many times, we've given them each a number to make it easier."
"Oh," he says, "can I try?"
"Sure, go ahead."
So, he yells out "102!" and the place is dead quiet save for a few gasps. Confused, he looks at his cellmate who is just shaking his head.
"Hey, what happened?"
"Man, that's not cool. Lenny's mom just died."
My doctor was telling me that my blood tests had a typo
So I guess it's pretty cool to be a universal donor.
So social media was down today
I went outside my room and met my family, they seem pretty cool.
Angel Gabriel approached God
What are you doing there? he asked.
Well said God, You know this planet I've been creating?
Yeah, what of it?
I've discovered that I can cause it to rotate in space, and given the position of that star I made earlier; Sol, it allows, in the most part, for a 24hr period of alternating light and dark.
Oh, that's pretty cool. So what now then?
To be honest, I think I'm gonna call it a day.
Me and my wife have been arguing over the thermostat
It got pretty heated last night but it will soon cool off
Marriage
if any one on this sub is thinking of getting married soon, please consider this carefully
on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
>!on the other hand, you don't!<
A guy walks into a bar..
.... he notices a monkey sitting at the bar. He asks the bartender, "what's with the monkey?" The bartender walks around, sits next to the monkey, and smacks it upside the head with a pan. The monkey goes down and gives him a bj. The bartender walks back and says "pretty cool eh, you want to give it a try?" The guy thinks for a second and says "yea sure, why not, just don't hit me so hard with that pan"
There was a pun competition in my town recently.
The newspaper came with the advert. Anybody could send as many puns as they wanted. So I decided to send 10 of them. You know, the more you send the more chances of winning.
Pretty cool, right?
When the results came, I was shocked to see I didn't win.
No pun in ten did.
A guy walks into a bar
He sits down and tells the bartender, I don't drink too often, so what would you recommend? Bartender says, I make a pretty good grasshopper. Guy replies, Cool, I'll have one. So the bartender whips it up, the guy drinks it, and heads out of the bar.
While walking to his car the guy notices a grasshopper on the sidewalk. Guy looks down and says, did you know they have a drink named after you in there?
Grasshopper says, they have a drink named Lenny?
4 Guys walk into a bar and get on the subject of their successful sons...
...The first man says My son's so successful he bought his friend a Ferrari. That's cool, the second man says but my son is so successful he bought his friend a private jet. The third guy says That's pretty nice of them but my son bought his friend a deluxe yacht. The third guy turns to the fourth and says what does your son do for a living? The fourth man says my son is a gay stripper. You must be disappointed the third man said. No, I'm proud of him, he has already gotten a Ferrari, a private jet and a deluxe yacht.
I got my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was cool and showed it to the neighbour. He said, "that's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "no, this is an old fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
Mama, how did I get my name?
(USA-centric)
"Mama, how did I get my name?"
"Why do you need to know, Loquinda?"
"It's for my homework."
"Well, I was staying at a LaQuinta Inn the night you were conceived. So I just rearranged the letters a bit to make a pretty name."
"Oh. That's cool. How did my brother get his name?"
"Which one, Arvey or Suppurate?"
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?" She laughed and said...
"No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
When I was a teenager…
…I worked as a bag boy in a southern supermarket (Publix). As one of the busiest stores, we were chosen to test making fresh squeezed juice in the store at customers' request. As a social person, this sounded like a pretty cool job so I asked my manager if I could get some shifts on the juice machine. Unfortunately, it wasn't possible because baggers can't be juicers
To the young people on Reddit who are thinking about getting married, here's something to consider.
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, …you don't.
Wanna hear about my appliances?
My fan blows me away, the fridge is pretty cool, the vacuum s**... and the air ventilator just sits there and collects dust