The Best 68 Pret Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Pret jokes. There are some pret erekt jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these pret whore puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Pret Jokes and Puns

I was pretty excited when I heard Logan Paul went into a suicide forest

A little upset to find out he came back

What does a pretentious owl say?

Whom whom.

I'm pretty sure Jesus was Italian

Because only an Italian mother could think her son was a god.
And only an Italian son could think his mother was a virgin.

Pret joke, I'm pretty sure Jesus was Italian

Sometimes I like to pretend I am a cat

...and ignore my wife until it is dinner time

We're pretty competitive

My brother and I sometimes laugh on how competitive we can be, but I laugh more!

It was pretty hard to find a cheap way to get our son circumcised...

...But in the end we pulled it off.

I'm pretty great with money.

Folks keep calling me and telling me my accounts are outstanding.

Pret joke, I'm pretty great with money.

I'm pretty sure my parents are getting me a sweater for Christmas, but I really would have preferred a moaner or screamer.

Pretty woman sneezes

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table.

Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.

"This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods.

The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming woman I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

I was pretty shocked when my dad came out of the closet. Now I can only wonder if my other dad knows.

You know what's pretty much the same as 9/11?


You can explore pret pretty reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean pret talent dad jokes. There are also pret puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I'm pretty sober.

But I'm prettier drunk.

My brother's pretty good at Russian Roulette...

He's only lost once.

Pretty soon the only place you will be able to buy a Confederate flag will be the black market.

Oh the irony.

I'm pretty bad at apologising..

So I just say... "unfuck you".

A pretty lady with bad gas farts in an Apple store...

She looks around and loudly proclaims "HA! Bet you wish you had Windows now!"

Pret joke, A pretty lady with bad gas farts in an Apple store...

The pretty teacher was concerned with

one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"

"I'm in love." the boy replied.

Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"

"With you!" he said.

"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."

"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a condom!"

I was pretty upset when I heard clocks get set ahead an hour...

Oh well. Not worth losing sleep over it.

I'm pretty sure my electrician supports LGBT rights.

Just the other day I heard him talking about his transister.

So I have a pretty good fathers day joke

Can't wait to tell my dad when he finally brings the milk home

I know pretty well how batteries must feel

I'm rarely ever included in things either.

I'm getting pretty worried, my girlfriend hasn't gotten her period yet.

And she's already 14.

How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?


I went on a pretty crazy camping trip last weekend.

It was in tents.

It must be pretty bad being the wife of a suicide bomber...

Because if they come home after work, they've had a bad day.

I'm pretty sure God is a Black Woman

Who else would be a single parent whose Son was killed by the authorities under suspicious circumstances?

I'm pretty sure my next door neighbor thinks I'm a stalker.

She wrote it on Facebook,Twitter, and in both of her diaries.

I'm pretty sure that I am related to Albert Einstein.

However despite all of my research into my family tree, I just can't prove my theory of relativity.

a pretty bad joke my dad once told me

what do you get when you cross a elephant, rhino, and a hippo?


I've got a pretty long Police record....

It's a full 44 minutes long and contains "Every Breath You Take"

I'm pretty sure someone stole the last paragraph of my essay, and hid it on a really high shelf...

But I don't want to jump to conclusions.

Not original, and not sure if it's been posted before, but it made me chuckle and thought I'd share.

It's pretty disgusting how celebrity parents name their children after cooked rodent.

Poor Chris Pratt

It's pretty strange, doctors are now prescribing cannabis for arthritis sufferers...

I mean, the definition of arthritis is "inflammation of the joints"

I'm pretty sure I was a rooster in my past life...

Cause any Cock-or-Dude-ill-dooooooo!

How to tell if you are old?

Pretend to fall down. If people laugh, you are not old yet.

I'm pretty sure chickens love classical music

All I hear from them is "bach bach bach bach bach"

I was pretty sure my girlfriend didn't have AIDS...

but now I'm positive.

Even though I'm pretty skinny, I identify as an obese person...

I'm trans fat.

I'm pretty sure that I experimented with homosexuality in college...

I'm not sue though, my memories are kind of Spacey.

I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese

made a language entirely out of tattoos.

I'm pretty sure my wife is cheating on me with our neighbor.

So I grabbed my shotgun, walked over to his house, and knocked really loud on his door. He opened the door asking why I had a shotgun in my hands. I handed it to him saying, "If you want my wife you can have her, but you're going to need to use some protection".

I'm pretty sure my F5 key isn't working anymore

I keep seeing the same jokes on here

This pretty girl walked up to a Neanderthal, winked and said in a sexy voice Hey… is it true what they say about Neanderthal guys?

The Neanderthal screeches a high-pitched YES!! IT IS!!! Then smashes her brains in.

You're so pretty that words can't even describe.

But numbers can: 6/10

I'm pretty sure someone hid the last paragraph of my essay on a shelf that I can't reach,

But I don't want to jump to conclusions.

When im alone i like to pretend im a wind turbine. My wife hates it...

But im a big fan.

It's pretty crazy to think that I'm only 25 and have enough money to last me the rest of my life

....assuming I died within the next 15 minutes.

I did pretty well in my insect catching exam...

I got a bee.

I'm pretty bad at the dab, but I still do it on a regular basis

I guess you could say I dabble

I'm pretty convinced that tall girls are secretly witches

Every time I try to work up the courage to talk to one, I get turned into a chicken ☠️

I am pretty bad at building fences.

Oops, wrong place for this post.

I'm pretty sure I've figured out my neighbour's 3 favourite films

* 10,000,000 Explosions

* Army Guys Yelling at Each Other

* Subwoofer: The Movie


Two pretzels walked through a sketchy alleyway

One was a salted

The other was knot


I think it would be pretty simple to send 5G conspiracy theorists to space

Just tell them there's Zero G

My Dog's Pretty Good In Making Ends Meet

By Chasing His Tail!

I'll show myself out....

I was pretty mad when they told me my flat earth movie was nominated for an award.

Golden globes

A pretty lady in a restaurant just asked me if I was single and I happily replied yes

She took the extra chair in front of me away

Pretty ironic they used to sacrifice virgins to call down rain

Considering they're known for having the longest dry spells.

It is pretty weird that most of the Christians are against body piercings.

After all, Jesus Christ had four of them.

I saw this pretty homeless lady while I was walking home from work.

So I walked over and asked if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However the look on her faced changed dramatically when I picked up her cardboard box and started walking away it.

I was once in a pretty serious relationship with a cake

We went on several dates over the course of a few weeks. The chemistry was great and I thought we really had a connection. One special night I leaned in close to my cake and whispered, I love you."

The cake burst into tiers.

Pretend you're in a jungle, what do you do if a tiger is chasing you and catching up to you?

Stop pretending.

I'm pretty sure all history teachers are necromancers

They only care about the dead

I am pretty sure my cat is gay

Though he seems a bit too insecure of it since he keeps coming out of the closet over and over , poor guy.


Girl: (asking her boyfriend) Am I pretty or ugly.

Boy: you are both

Girl: What do you mean?

Boy: You are pretty ugly

I once had to pretend that i was taking a shit, so I dropped a bottle of soap in the toilet

It was a shampoo.

this is pretty funny

Texan: "Where are you from?"

Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions."

Texan: "Okay where are you from, jackass?"

Pretty dark you've been warned

Why does Obama give his speeches behind bullet proof glass? I know he's black and all but I doubt he'll shoot anyone.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the pret thing jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working pret sharp piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes