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Presidents Day Jokes

92 presidents day jokes and hilarious presidents day puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about presidents day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Presidents Day Short Jokes

Short presidents day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The presidents day humour may include short president day jokes also.

  1. Election Day Drinking Game: Every time Donald Trump is elected President, we all drink and just never stop.
  2. I miss the days when the Annoying Orange was just a fictional youtube character And not the President of the United States.
  3. I'm actually really happy with Trump's presidency so far. He's had the nuclear codes for a couple of days now and hasn't tweeted them yet.
  4. What's the best thing about being Joe Biden? Waking up every day and learning that you're the president.
  5. 60+ days off work, gas prices at an all time low, $1200... I know who I'm voting for... Coronavirus for president!
  6. Knock knock. Who's there? Trump. Trump who? Exactly. Happy Trumps Not President Anymore Day!
  7. Dad: When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked miles to school, uphill, in the snow, every day. Son: Yeah?! Well when Abraham Lincoln was your age, Dad, he was president!
  8. Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Teach a man to fire and he'll run for president.
  9. We have essentially Elected 4chan for the 45th president of the United States. This is a day that will go down in Infameme.
  10. Why was 9/11 the worst day in American history? Because on the 9th November Donald Trump was elected president

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Presidents Day One Liners

Which presidents day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with presidents day? I can suggest the ones about workers day and veterans day.

  1. 69 more days left in the Trump Presidency. Nice.
  2. Why can't you trust the President? Because he Lysol day.
  3. What do you call the president when he's having a bad day? Donald Grump.
  4. I bumped into president Obama the other day It hurt
  5. Happy President's Day - 2/-25/2017 Get it?
  6. It took Michelle Obama two presidencies to get kids outside... and Nintendo two days.
  7. My son may one day ask me, "Will there ever be a white president?"
  8. I wish I could be smart for one day. Being President every day s**....
  9. "LBJ" was a president... Not a Spanish term for h**... Day activities.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about presidents day can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of presidents day puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Presidents Day Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about presidents day you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean memorial day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make presidents day prank.

A mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, I want to be President one day.

Trump says, Are you s**...? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you r**...?
The kid replies, You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.

The pope was visiting New York

His visit in the states had lasted for days and he had become tired of being chauffeured around from one event to another the whole time.
"Tell you what. I really miss driving" he said to his driver and they agreed to swap seats so the pope would drive and the driver would sit in the back.
The pope had not driven a car for ages and the limousine had a powerful engine so he raced through the streets of New York running red lights and breaking the speed limit. This had to draw a lot of attention and soon he was pulled over by a traffic cop.
As the pope rolled down the window the cop could see that this was not an ordinary speeding case. He went back to his car to call his superiors on the radio.
"I've pulled someone over and I'm not sure what to do. I can tell it's a VIP but I'm not sure who it is"
"A VIP? Don't tell me it's the police commissioner again!"
"No. It's not him. It's someone more important."
"More important? Is it the mayor?"
"No. It's not him either. It's someone more important than the mayor"
"More important than the mayor? Are you telling me you've pulled over the president?"
"No. Not the president either. I's someone more important"
"More important? Who can be more important than the president?"
"I don't know! I just know he's so important that he's got the pope as his driver!"

Tough choice

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."
The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or j**... and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better j**.... I've got a headache."

Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation...

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."
The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or j**... and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "Well, you'd better j**.... I've got a headache."

Have yourself a laugh on my cake day!

An aide walks into the oval office. George W. Bush is currently president, and the Iraq war is dragging out into a long and grueling occupation. The aide presents the numbers from yesterday to the President.
"Mr. President, yesterday the US coalition forces killed a confirmed 36 insurgents."
The President nodded his head patriotically.
"There were some losses on our end, however." The aide continued. "We lost a US h**... with four soldiers in it to an IED outside of Tekrit, and 2 Brazilian soldiers were killed in a crossfire in Baghdad."
The president nodded solemnly with the news of the h**..., but his face was ashen by the end of the sentence, and he buried his face in his hands. The aide looked startled, "Sir, what's the matter."
With scared eyes, the president looked up and mumbled "How many is a brazilian?"

Russian Condoms

One day the president of the largest c**... company in Russia is called down by his sales associate. He tells the president that they have just gotten a huge order from America for double extra large 16" condoms. The associate tells the prez that it must be a prank, so the president mulls it over for a minute and then says "Make their order, but when you mark them them for shipping, stamp them with 'EXTRA SMALL.'"

Cutbacks.

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."
The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or j**... and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better j**.... I've got a headache."

Wee Joe fae Glasgow...

After a disasterous earthquake in New York, a wee man from Glasgow headed off across the Atlantic to aid his American friends in the clean up operation.
After many days of making little progress, Joe heard that President Obama had arrived to thank everyone who was digging in.
That afternoon Joe felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to find himself face to face with the President.
"I'd just like to say that your help here is greatly appreciated," Obama said.
"Aye, nae bother!" said the Scotsman.
"That's an interesting accent you have there. Where are you from?"
"Glasgow," Joe replied.
The President look perplexed. "Glasgow? Sorry, what state is that in?"
"Oh, pretty much the same as New York is now."

Ronald Reagan's Memory

One day a reporter confronted Ronald Reagan about a previous statement he had made. "Mr. President, you said that you would resign if your memory started to fade," the reporter said. Reagan smiled and replied, "I don't remember saying that."

The first Jewish president

On his first day in office, he calls his mother.
"Mom, you really have to come out to DC and check out the white house, it is amazing. Rachel and I would love to have you over.
" Out there, with all the g**...? Its too busy for me."
"How's about a weekend at camp david. Its really nice and quiet, and its got a nice Jewish name."
"Alright, I got to go, but I'll discuss with your father." She hangs up with her son and the ladies at her bridge table ask, "so who was that?"
"Oh it was my son" the ladies with excitement squeal "The doctor?"
"No," she sighs. "The other one."

Putin is at a press conference...

Reporter: Good day, I'm John Smith from the Coca-Cola company. Mr president I have a question. You've been trying to get the old times back, and bringing the good old communism back.
Putin: Communism bring back russia, yes
Reporter:Why don't you also bring the old red flag back? And maybe we will close a 5 billion dollar deal if you put our logo very tiny in a little corner...
Putin: Hmm, I have discuss this
*Putin whispers to his Prime Minister*: Psst, Medvedev, when ends the Aquafresh contract?

An ambitious Chinese man named Hoo Ming wanted to run for president. He understood the problems that Americans faced every day and so he wanted to show everyone he planned to solve it by making it his slogan...

Hoo Cares!

One day, the President finds a n**... message scribbled with pee on the snowy White House lawn.

He orders the Secret Service to investigate. They come back a few hours later with the results.
"Mr. President, we have bad news and worse news."
"What's the bad news?"
"The u**... belongs to the Vice President."
"What could possibly be worse than that?"
"The handwriting belongs to the First Lady."

The president of a popular mail-order business just died.

The f**... will be held in 3 - 5 business days.

I was talking to a friend's little girl...

I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' 'Wow - what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'You don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds, and sweep my sidewalks and driveway, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food or a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds 'cause she's only 6. And while her Mom glared at me, the little girl looked me straight in the eye and asked, Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?
And I said, Welcome to the Republican Party, sweetheart.

Why can't Brock Turner go to jail?

Because with swim times like his, he might be president some day.

A child tells the make a wish foundation.

So a child is ill and the make a wish foundation asks "what do you want more than anything" the child responds "to trade places with Donald trump!"
They interpret as he wants to know what it's like to be president for a day.
So they ask trump, he obliges.
Trump meets the child and says "so you want to know what it's like to be president?"
The child retorts "no I just wanted you to have cancer"

One day a feminist will become president...

But when you think about it, it just isn't worth the weight...

Career day is coming up at my school and the president will attend

Thankfully i'm not American

Despite all the flak the public gives him, Trump has already solved the immigration problem in just a few days after becoming President-elect

Just ask yourself, who would want to sneak into America now?

Trump's first tweet on his first day as president.

Just visited Area 51. Aliens are real! Government has been lying for too long. Very bad!

Fidel Castro and 11 Presidents

Fidel Castro survived 11
Presidents of the United States
-Eisenhower
-Kennedy
-Johnson
-Nixon
-Ford
-Carter
-Reagan
-Bush
-Clinton
-GW Bush
-Obama
But he couldn't take 15 days of Trump

Whom to fire?

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off.
Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire.
The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive.
Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or j**... and I don't know what to do?
Barbara replied, You'd better j**.... I've got a headache.

A day before the elections Hillary tells Bill: "You know, tomorrow there will be two presidents in one bed."

Next day Bill asks Hillary: "So.. do I wait Trump here or should I go over to his place?"

Obama's no longer President

January 21,2017 an old man walks up to White House gate and tells security guard: "I want to see President Obama."
Very patiently the guard says: "He's not President anymore." The old man quietly walks away.
January 22 same old man walks up to the gate and says: "I want to see President Obama."
Same guard says: "He's not President anymore." The old man quietly walks away.
January 23 same old man walks up to the gate and says: "I want to see President Obama."
Angrily the guard says: "I told you the last two days that he's not President anymore."
The old man turns away and quietly says: "I just like hearing you say it."

An Israeli doctor says

"In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work."
The German doctor says: "That's nothing,
in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."
The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."
The American doctor laughs: "You all are behind us. Two days ago, we took a man with no brains, no heart, and no liver and made him President.
Now, the whole country is looking for work!"

Israeli, German, Russian, and American doctors were talking ...

‏An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work."
‏The German doctor says: "That's nothing,
‏in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."
‏The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."
‏The American doctor laughs:
"You all are behind us. Two days ago, we took a man with no brains, no heart, and no liver and made him President...Now, the whole country is looking for work!"

Unemployment at its best!

An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work."
The German doctor says: "That's nothing,
in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."
The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."
The American doctor laughs: "You all are behind us. Two days ago, we took a man with no brains, no heart, and no liver and made him President.
Now, the whole country is looking for work!"

Unfortunately, I don't have the day off from work tomorrow.

Doesn't that make it "not my President's Day"?

Today is Presidents' Day.

However, if all goes according to plan, next year it will be Steve Bannon day.

On President's Day

On President's day, the POTUS steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we get 8 more weeks of b**....

Gary Johnson woke up the day after the election...

Gary Johnson: "What happened? Am I president?"
Doctor: Sir, we found you passed out n**... in the desert.
Gary Johnson: Far out man.

A mexican kid walks up to Donald Trump...

And says, "One day I want to be a president like you."
Donald Trump is disgusted and replies, "Are you s**...? Are you r**...? Have you lost your mind?"
The Mexican kid then says, "Actually, I don't want to be president​. Those are too many requirements."

Another Trump joke

An american was driving his car until he ended up in a traffic jam.
After a long time of waiting and standing with his car, without moving any further, a policeman appeared and knocked on his window.
"Good day Sir, some terrorists kidnapped the President and will soak him in gasoline and burn him, if the government won't pay them 10 million dollar. We are currently asking the citizens, if they are willing to donate something."
The man took his wallet, looked insinde and asked the policeman:
"Just tell me: how much did the other drivers give?"
"About 20 to 50"
"Dollar?"
"No. Gallons"

A Mexican boy meets Donald Trump

The Mexican boy says "One day, I'm going to be President of the United States!"
Donald Trump replied "Are you crazy?" "Are you r**...?" "Are you out of your mind?"
The Mexican boy pauses for a second and says "That's too many requirements for being President."

An inspector, making his rounds, inspects an elementary school.

One teacher says to her class, "Treat him like you would the President of the United States." Sure enough, later that day, the inspector walks in to see how the lesson is doing. Just then, one of the students gets up, stomps over to the inspector, punches him in the gut, nicks his phone, and hides behind a curtain.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" shouts the teacher.
The kid says, "Deleting Twitter."

Trump parachute joke

Bill gates, Donald Trump, the Pope, and a boy are on a plane that's about to c**.... There are 3 parachutes.
Everyone agreed that Bill Gates was very important, and the world wouldn't be the same without him. And so, he grabbed a parachute and jumped out.
Donald Trump said that he was the president of the United States, and he claimed that he was very important and "the smartest president there ever will be", so he jumped out as well.
The Pope said to the boy, "I am old, and my days are almost over. Take the last parachute and jump!"
The boy replied, "It's fine, Donald Trump didn't grab a parachute; he grabbed my backpack."

Son: "I don't want to walk to school tomorrow, dad!" Dad: "When Abraham Lincoln was your age son, he had to walk 12 miles each day to get to school!" Son: "Well dad..."

"...when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was president!"

The first Jewish President of the United States is elected.

The night before the inauguration he calls his mother.
"Mom, I'd love for you to come visit and stay with me during the inauguration and for a few days."
"Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days."
"Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!"
"Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous."
"Mom, the Presidential motorcade will drive you here."
"But accommodations, especially during the inau---"
"MOM!! I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!"
She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend.
"Who was that?"
"My son."
*gasp* "The doctor??"
"No, the other one."

Putin planned a holiday trip to the U.S. for the President's Day weekend sales...

but he cancelled at the last minute when he remembered he'd already bought one.

Honestly, im glad Trump became president, crime dropped his first day on the job.

Real estate fraud worldwide dropped within 24 hours

They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise

I wanted to test this out and Googled "h**... President"
Few days later I received a care package containing ammo

Donald Trump is taking questions from journalists on his last day in office.

One journalist asks him, "President Trump, do you have a final thing to say to the American people as our president?"
Trump then looks into the camera, bows deeply, and yells, "THE ARISTOCRATS!"

President Trump is in Israel for the m**... Summit. He gets ill and dies...

President Trump is in Israel for the m**... Summit. He gets ill and dies.
The local officials tell his aides that they could return the body to America but to honor the President they offer to bury him there in the Holy Land.
The aides confer and tell the official that they will take the body home.
The official asks why they would do that rather than accept the immense gift of burial in the Holy Land.
The aides reply: A long time ago someone was buried here and arose 3 days later. We can't take that chance.

World Leaders

President Macron, Theresa May and Angela Merkel meet for a summit at the North Sea.
Gazing over the water, May says, "We have a submarine that can stay underwater for 10 days."  Macron responds, "That's nothing, our submarines can stay underwater for 30 days!"  Merkel looks quite ashamed and shies away, when suddenly a U-Boot surfaces, the hatch opens and the commander looks out: "Heil h**..., we need Diesel!"

Most redittors would make excellent Presidents.

We already sleep, eat junk food, watch TV and post on social media 21 hours a day.

Marine...

it is ok Marine... some day in the future an American President will travel great distances to honor your sacrifice. Unless of course it's raining.

A special day in February

I asked my 10 year old niece what special day is coming up in February.
"President's Day."
"What does President's Day mean?" I expected her to tell me something about Obama or Bush or Clinton.
Instead, she says, "President's Day is when the President steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we get another year of b**...."

The Art of the Deal

A poor city man is out in the streets attempting to sell something on President's Day. He goes up to a foreigner and says:
"Hey there! Are you looking for a rare portrait of Washington on his birthday? I can hook you up. It's even got the signature of the Secretary of the Treasury on it, so you know it's authentic!"
"Wow, really? How much?"
"$5 a piece."
"I'll take 20!"
Needless to say, he came in with a Washington, and left with a Franklin.

Trump was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The President s**...."

Infuriated, Trump called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news.
"The bad news is that the u**... is from Putin."
"Vlad? How could he do this to me? What could be worse than this?"
"The handwriting's is Melania's."

Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton...

Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton, I would be stuck with a president under constant federal investigation from day one.
Turned out, he was right. I voted for Clinton and I have been stuck for years with a president under federal investigation from day one.

Donald Trump is on a state visit to Israel and dies of a heart attack.

The f**... director explains to the President's entourage of diplomats that to fly the body back to the U.S. would cost $50 000 and to have him buried in Israel would cost just $100. The diplomats discuss amongst themselves. They then return to the f**... director and say they prefer to the return the body to the U.S.
Why? asks the confused f**... director, for less than a fraction of the cost you can have him buried in the Holy Land . The diplomats respond, A long time ago another man died and was buried here, and three days later he came back from the dead. That's a risk we simply cannot take.

In these trying times, we all need to put our differences aside and make a special prayer for President Donald Trump. I suggest Psalm 109:8 ...

... "Let his days be few; and let another take his office."

President Trump wakes up one winter morning and looks out the Whitehouse window to see the words "Trump s**...!" Written in u**... in the snow.

Outraged, he tasks the Secret Service to find out who is responsible.
Later that day the director of the Secret Service comes into the oval office and asks, "Sir, we have an answer. Do you want the bad news or the worse news?"
"Give me the bad news."
"We got the DNA test back on the u**..., it belongs to the vice president."
"That's the bad news?" Trump exclaims, "what could be worse than that?"
"Well," says the agent, "it was in the First Lady's hand writing."

My sister made 44 cupcakes with an assortment of red, white, and blue frosting for an independence day dinner.

"Why 44?" I asked her. "Because that's the number of real presidents this country has actually had?"
(This actually just happened.)

Moses was walking down the street when he bumped into George W. Bush.

Moses was walking down the street when he bumped into George W. Bush. Hello, Bush said. Nice weather we're having, huh? Moses took one look at the President, turned, and ran in the other direction.
The next day Moses was walking down the same street and there was Bush. Again he tried to initiate a conversation. Again Moses turned and ran away.
Bush was tired of this bizarre treatment, so the next time Moses ran away from him, Bush followed. When he caught up, he asked Moses what was wrong.
Moses said, The last time I talked to a bush I spent 40 years in the desert.

Old Egyptian joke

In Egypt, the election system used to be that people would vote yes or no to the current president to determine wether elections were going to happen or not. The day before the polls everyone would hang signs saying yes to the president. But one man decides to vote no.
Later that night, the man cannot not sleep and fears he might have made the wrong decision. So the next day he goes to the poll workers
"I believe I have voted for the wrong option yesterday," he says. "I want to change my vote to a yes"
The poll worker smiles at him and says:
"No problem we corrected it for you but don't do it again!"

Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has p**... Trump s**... in the fresh snow.

Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we've done a dna test on the u**..., and found the culprit. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. That traitor , shouts Trump. I'll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news? Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting .

Dave knows everyone joke

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?”
“No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and Tom Cruise shouts,
“Dave! What’s happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!”
Although impressed, Dave’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else,” Dave says.
“President Obama,” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yup,” Dave says, “Old buddies, let’s fly out to Washington,” and off they go.
At the White House, Obama spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a beer first and catch up.”
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.
“Pope Francis,” his boss replies.
“Sure!” says Dave. “I’ve known the Pope for years.” So off they fly to Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican’s St. Peter’s Square when Dave says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.” He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Making his way to his boss’ side, Dave asks him, “What happened?”
His boss looks up and says, “It was the final straw… you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, ‘Who the f**... is that on the balcony with Dave?’

Father to his young son: You should be ashamed. When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he used to walk ten miles every day to get to school.

Son responds: Really? Well, when he was your age, he was president.

President Calvin Coolidge and his wife were being shown separately around an experimental farm

When Mrs. Coolidge came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, "Dozens of times each day."
Mrs. Coolidge said, "Tell that to the President when he comes by."
When the President came by the henhouse, the guide dutifully told him what his wife had said.
"Same hen every time?" the President asked.
"Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time."
The President nodded his head. "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."

I asked my daughter if she knew what today was.

To my suprise she said presidents day.
I asked her if she knew why we celebrate presidents day.
She said that its the day the president walks out of the white house and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of bull s**....

President Joe Biden announced that he would give a free bottle of Bud Light to anyone who got a vaccine.

Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine.
The day after, the President Higgins of Ireland announced that he'd be giving out free bottles of water.
Biden and Obrador were confused and gave the Irish President a Zoom call. "We kinda expected you to give out free Guiness, being from Ireland and all"
The Irish President replied: "Well, if you guys aren't giving out beer, then neither am I."

A woman whose husband was a photographer was quite used to him returning home late almost every day.

On asked why, he'd reply, "I had to shoot a car c**..." or "I had to shoot a football game" or something similar. A friend decided to pay her a visit once. On asking how late her husband would be, she replied, not intending to shock her, "I don't know... He's gone to shoot the President."

A man goes to the white house and asks to talk to president Trump.

A guard tells him that Trump is no longer president. The man then leaves.
The man comes back the next day and again asks to speak to president Trump. The guard says "like I already told you he is no longer president".
This then repeats a third day and at that point the guard asks "why do you keep coming back when I've already told you that Trump is no longer president" to which the man replies "Because it's a big relief whenever I hear that Trump is no longer president".

jokes about presidents day

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these presidents day jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.