Presidential Jokes
165 presidential jokes and hilarious presidential puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about presidential that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Step into the world of politics with a smirk on your face and a chuckle in your heart as we unveil a captivating collection of Presidential jokes. From light-hearted one-liners to rib-tickling dad jokes, this article is your guide to the comedic side of presidential banter. But why, you might ask, should we indulge in these jokes? The answer lies in the power of humor to humanize and bring levity to the often serious and weighty world of politics.
Jokes about Presidents provide a much-needed break from the gravity of political discourse, allowing us to find common ground, poke fun at stereotypes, and appreciate the absurdity of power dynamics. Whether you're in need of a conversation starter, a lighthearted icebreaker, or simply a moment of levity during a Presidential-oriented gathering, these jokes are a potent tool for building connections and diffusing tension. So, gear up and embrace the lighter side of politics as we dive into a laughter-filled exploration of Presidential humor.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Presidential Short Jokes
Short presidential jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The presidential humour may include short presidency jokes also.
- Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate! The Voyager probe, flying away from earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.
- What costs hundreds of millions of dollars but is worthless? 2nd place in a presidential election.
- In US Presidential History: Washington could not tell a lie, Nixon could not tell a truth... and Trump can not tell the difference
- No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic. We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first canadian president, or the last president.
- Who is going to win tonight's presidential election? The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.
- I missed the Vice Presidential debate... Can someone please tell me what all the buzz is about?
- It's official. The winner of the biggest upset in US presidential history is T-R-U-M- A-N. 1948. HUGE upset.
Edit 3:30AM ET: this was a *lot* funnier when it was true. - What do the 2016 Rio Olympics and the 2016 US presidential race have in common? Half of the competitors cheat and the other half aren't qualified.
- I'd like to congratulate Donald J Trump for winning The silver medal in the 2020 presidential election.
- Congratulations to Donald J. Trump for winning the silver medal in the 2020 U.S. Presidential race!
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Presidential One Liners
Which presidential one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with presidential? I can suggest the ones about executive and congressional.
- Who won the presidential debate last night? People who didn't watch
- What do you call two clueless, old men. Presidential Candidates
- What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called? Hindsight is 2020
- Who lost the American Presidential Debate? America.
- What did Nixon say when asked to help with the presidential dinner? "I am not a cook!"
- Newt Gingrich would probably leave the presidential race... if he learned it had cancer.
- What's missing from tonight's presidential debate? The laugh track.
- Donald and Hillary walk into a presidential debate. And America walks out
- I like dark humor So I turn off the lights while reading presidential tweets.
- What do call the world's biggest puppet show? The US presidential election.
- What starts on a toilet seat and ends up in Smithsonian Presidential Tweet
- What's the Presidential ventilator called? Forced Air One
- After the presidential debate, they debate about the debate. Mind Blown
- So the presidential debate is tonight. Even vegans can't stay away from this pig roast.
- Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support? Whichever can reduce inflation.
Presidential Election Jokes
Here is a list of funny presidential election jokes and even better presidential election puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say Make America Great Britain again!
- BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump does not accept presidential election... Says he doesn't want to move into an estate which previously had black tenants.
- With so many Americans upset with the candidates in the upcoming Presidential election, we should look on the bright side ... ... and please let me know what it is when you've found it.
- The last twenty five years have been a bizarre time to grow up. For instance, i've lived through more 'Spiderman' re-boot than legitimate presidential elections.
- On the bright side of the election There hasn't been a presidential assassination in a while.
- Woohoo! Donald Trump won the presidential election! As a Clinton voter I'm not happy that he won, just happy that I'm not Mexican
- There was clear fraud and cheating in the 2020 United States Presidential election and despite cheating, Trump still lost!
- Why did the block of cheese run in the US presidential election? Because he wanted to make America grate again.
- This year's presidential election shares the same tagline as the 2004 movie "Alien versus Predator". "Whoever wins... We lose."
- Why did Donald Trump win Florida in the Presidential Election? Floridians have seen the positive effect an Orange can have on the economy.
Presidential Debate Jokes
Here is a list of funny presidential debate jokes and even better presidential debate puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- SNL does great parodies of presidential debates. For some reason this one is airing on a Tuesday though
- What's the difference between an argument in kindergarten and the presidential debate? About 70 years
- While sitting on the couch my wife said "I feel like putting on a pair of flip-flops." Then she changed the channel to the presidential debate.
- You think the Presidential debate was hard to watch? Think of what it was like for the sign language interpreters.
- How is a presidential debate like the show The View? Both have a couple of idiots talking over each other and not making a point.
- I keep burning food with my Presidential Debate microwave... I set it for 2 minutes but it never stops on time.
- A bipolar patient, dementia patient, and narcissist walk into a club. And the announcer says Welcome to the first 2020 presidential debate.
- I was surprised while watching the presidential debate last night... I didn't know my TV had the comedy channel.
- What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep? Microphones!
- I decided to vote for the most presidential and least controversial person I saw on the debate last night... So I'm going to vote for Lester Holt.
Democratic Presidential Jokes
Here is a list of funny democratic presidential jokes and even better democratic presidential puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Bernie Sanders joins list of 2020 Democratic Presidential candidates. Err sorry, typo. That should be:
Bernie Sanders joins list of 2,020 Democratic Presidential candidates. - In honor of the Democratic presidential candidate debate last night ... ... SpaceX decided to demonstrate that they too are feeling the bern.
- No democratic debate on Christmas Day The democratic presidential hopefuls signed a statement not to debate on Christmas Day.
It was a Barry Sanders-clause
Examples Of Presidential Jokes
Here is a list of funny examples of presidential jokes and even better examples of presidential puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm not racist, but some races are simply inherently more important than others. For example, the presidential race is much more important than some 100m dash.
Silly Presidential Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about presidential you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean elected president jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make presidential pranks.
So rick perry drops his presidential bid Today..
I thought his campaign wasn't for late term abortions.
Racist Presidential Joke
If I say the president is half white, does that make me an optimist?
The Presidential Clock
Bill: Do you want to see the Presidential Clock?
Monica: Sure!
Bill: Okay. (Unzips pants and pulls it out)
Monica: That don't look like no clock I ever saw Sir.
Bill: It will if you put a face and two hands on it.
Obama walks into a bar.....
Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. God agrees.
Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. He asks the barkeep "How's the country? How are foreign affairs? Any problems currently being faced?"
"Oh, nothing at all, sir. We're an empire now. We're successful."
"But what about Iraq and Afghanistan? Those were t**... hotspots not too long ago?"
"We control it now. We're an empire. Everything is good."
"But what about Europe, Asia, and their financial crises?"
"That too has been taken care of. We are now finally an empire."
Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill:
"65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender.
2020 Presidential Campaign Slogan
"A Clear Vision for America"
Monica Lewinsky just released a statement on the presidential candidacy of Hillary Clinton...
She was quoted as saying that she can't vote for Hillary, because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
As an obese man, I think I would make a pretty good presidential candidate.
I too only run once every four years.
Jeb says hes good at fixing things and I don't doubt him...
People who voted in Florida during the 2000 presidential election know what I'm *talkin* about.
The Republicans asked the Democrats what it would take
to stop being considered s**.... The democrats said "Just put forth one presidential candidate who can make a brain surgeon look like an idiot."
Why are they called jokes?
Because calling them republican presidential candidates would make me cry.
Presidential clock
After dinner one night, Bill Clinton drops his pants and points at his manhood, telling Hillary if she is going to be President, she better get to know the Presidential clock. She yells, "That's not a clock", to which he responds, "If you put two hands and a face on it, it will be!"
My previous relationship was like a presidential term.
It aged me prematurely and my replacement was elected two months before I was officially out of office!
My brother's now ok with me calling him r**....
All I had to do was tell him that 5 of the 6 presidential candidates are r**....
Why did the Mayor take so long to endorse a Presidential candidate?
Because he was running on CP time.
You know which presidential candidate in 2020 will have the hardest time?
Tom Cotton.
Having to tell black people to "Pick Cotton!" in 2020.
The presidential footrace
Recently, Obama completed the annual race around the White House grounds to attempt to beat the previous president's record. After his stunning performance, he ended up with a time of 9:52, narrowly missing the record. Unfortunately, he soon learned that Bush did 9:11.
I was going to tell a joke about Donald Trump's presidential campaign..
but then I realized it was racist, too long, and didn't make any sense.
An egoist, a feminist and a Socialist walk into a bar...
An egotist, a feminist, and a Socialist walk into a bar.
The bartender overheard their conversation about politics and sarcastically said, "You guys would be great presidential candidates." They took him seriously...
...apparently America did too.
What do Monica Lewinsky and an Asian political correspondent have in common?
All they talk about is the presidential e**...
"I can't stand when people say they hate both of the presidential candidates."
--Stephen Hawking
Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump
Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth.
Libertarian Presidential Candidate's new Campaign, inspired by Bernie Sanders.
"Feel the Johnson"
Our Sins
So what if the whole Hilary/Trump presidential race is a result of of that last guy who didn't forward that chain mail causing the end of the world...
Spercomputer was asked to find an alternative to Clinton and Trump to save presidential election.
The computer picked up a 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia.
When he was asked: "How could you be a better alternative? You are older than any of them, sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump?", he answered:
"Well, maybe because I'm honest about it"
Joe, why haven't you tossed your hat in the ring for the presidential election?
I'm Biden my time.
Why couldn't Hillary Clinton keep up her US presidential campaign?
She was let down by a weak Constitution.
If you think Hillary is going to drop out of the presidential race, you should know Hillary doesn't go down...
That's why Bill had Monica.
The iPhone doesn't have a headphone jack and the Samsung battery is exploding...
It's like the mobile equivalent of our presidential election!
Normally I hate those t**..., fake, rigged reality TV shows...
But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway.
Third party US presidential candidate Gary Johnson just delivered a crushing blow to the Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton campaigns
By keeping his mouth shut.
A billionaire, a clown, and a presidential candidate walk into a bar...
And the bartender says, "How's it going, Donald?"
What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?
Exspearamint.
inspired by the presidential gum joke.
Millions of children are being inspired by seeing their first presidential election.
If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground.
The American Presidential Campaign is a lot like the new Mac.
**There is no escape.**
People are wondering who will win the 2016 Presidential election, but I already know who will win the next election.
That's because I've got 2020 vision.
Can't you just feel the excitement in the air?!!?
Only one more day left until the start of the 2020 Presidential Election Season!!
*Spoiler* US Presidential Election Result Leaked
The dodgy, incompetent, unfit, slightly psychotic, rich, possibly criminal one who should 't even be in the race, wins.
If you're upset about the presidential election, just wait four years
then you'll be able to choose between Trump or Kanye
Donald Trump and the 2016 Presidential Election
I would make a political joke about it but then it would get elected.
Junk foods are so versatile!
A bag of Lays can be used as fuel for a fire in an emergency, you can have finger sword fights with Bugles, and now, a Cheeto has won the United States Presidential Election!
Have you heard of the new Lego Presidential Building Set?
It's called My First Wall . It comes with a few pesos as a refund.
What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions?
An algorithm.
I heard bad news on the way over here:the Donald Trump Presidential Library was just destroyed by fire, and, tragically, both books were a total loss.
Worse yet, he hasn't finished coloring the second one.
Imagine if the presidential race was an actual marathon
Then we'd really have a Kenyan in office.
In just 24 hours, my level in English has increased dramatically.
I understood almost all words from the presidential press conference.
Did you know Trump nominated a deaf guy to the Presidential cabinet?
Congress confirmed him without a hearing.
All this trump merchandise made me wonder
We have make America great again hats, t shirts, and socks, but I've never seen a make America great again dress. I thought for a moment before realizing that presidential matter on dresses was bill clinton's thing.
Former presidential candidate Senator Sanders falls ill. What do you call him?
A sick Bern.
French Presidential bodyguard accidentally discharges weapon whilst on duty...
France & Italy have both offer their immediate unconditional surrender.
Snoop Dogg should have given the official response to Trump's Presidential Address to Congress...
He has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone.
USPS releases a stamp with Trump's picture
The US Postal Services releases a stamp with a picture of President Trump. But the new stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.
After weeks of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:
The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. The fact is, people are spitting on the wrong side.
There have been two presidential impeachments in the history of the United States...
One involved a Johnson from the south and some violations relating to a staff member and the other was the 1868 impeachment of Andrew Johnson.
Did you hear about the time Donald Trump made James Comey have lunch with him?
I heard it was a presidential man-date.
What TV show can you compare to the 2016 US presidential elections?
Orange is the new black.
50Cent says Trump offered him $500,000 to join presidential campaign
Only Trump would pay $500k for $0.50
Such a deal maker.
How many Puerto Rican voters have to die before Trump decides to save one?
All of them. Puerto Ricans can't vote in the presidential election....
