Presidential Election Jokes
67 presidential election jokes and hilarious presidential election puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about presidential election that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Presidential Election Short Jokes
Short presidential election jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The presidential election humour may include short presidential jokes also.
- What costs hundreds of millions of dollars but is worthless? 2nd place in a presidential election.
- No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic. We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first canadian president, or the last president.
- Who is going to win tonight's presidential election? The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.
- I'd like to congratulate Donald J Trump for winning The silver medal in the 2020 presidential election.
- With the Brexit vote being compared to the Presidential election, I have only one thing to say Make America Great Britain again!
- BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump does not accept presidential election... Says he doesn't want to move into an estate which previously had black tenants.
- With so many Americans upset with the candidates in the upcoming Presidential election, we should look on the bright side ... ... and please let me know what it is when you've found it.
- The last twenty five years have been a bizarre time to grow up. For instance, i've lived through more 'Spiderman' re-boot than legitimate presidential elections.
- On the bright side of the election There hasn't been a presidential assassination in a while.
- Woohoo! Donald Trump won the presidential election! As a Clinton voter I'm not happy that he won, just happy that I'm not Mexican
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Presidential Election One Liners
Which presidential election one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with presidential election? I can suggest the ones about presidential debate and election vote.
- What do call the world's biggest puppet show? The US presidential election.
- How did Hillary Clinton lose the 2016 presidential election? She was Trumped.
Quirky and Hilarious Presidential Election Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about presidential election you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean president elect jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make presidential election pranks.
Obama walks into a bar.....
Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. God agrees.
Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. He asks the barkeep "How's the country? How are foreign affairs? Any problems currently being faced?"
"Oh, nothing at all, sir. We're an empire now. We're successful."
"But what about Iraq and Afghanistan? Those were t**... hotspots not too long ago?"
"We control it now. We're an empire. Everything is good."
"But what about Europe, Asia, and their financial crises?"
"That too has been taken care of. We are now finally an empire."
Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill:
"65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender.
If Obama had run against a cop in the 2012 Presidential Election...
He would have got beaten.
If there's an upset in the 2018 Russian Presidential elections, I'll never dine with a Russian again.
They can't stop talking about going Putin-free.
Jeb says hes good at fixing things and I don't doubt him...
People who voted in Florida during the 2000 presidential election know what I'm *talkin* about.
My previous relationship was like a presidential term.
It aged me prematurely and my replacement was elected two months before I was officially out of office!
This year's presidential election shares the same tagline as the 2004 movie "Alien versus Predator".
"Whoever wins... We lose."
I want Trump to win the presidential election
We would be able to see a celebrity apprentice with only congressmen and women. It would be nice to see them work for a change.
What do the NBA and the presidential election have in common?
There's only two candidates, and nobody wants either of them to win!
Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump
Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth.
Regardless of who wins, this year's presidential election will again end with an historic first:
We'll have either the first woman president, or the first orange president.
Spercomputer was asked to find an alternative to Clinton and Trump to save presidential election.
The computer picked up a 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia.
When he was asked: "How could you be a better alternative? You are older than any of them, sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump?", he answered:
"Well, maybe because I'm honest about it"
Joe, why haven't you tossed your hat in the ring for the presidential election?
I'm Biden my time.
The iPhone doesn't have a headphone jack and the Samsung battery is exploding...
It's like the mobile equivalent of our presidential election!
I've never voted for the winner in the U.S. Presidential election, and this year I'm voting for...
...the American people.
I'm really disappointed that Jill Stein is not the female Wallstreet-corporate puppet of the 2016 US Presidential election...
As I'll never get to use the term "shill Stein"
Millions of children are being inspired by seeing their first presidential election.
If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground.
Why is the American Presidential Election always on a Tuesday?
Because Tuesday is choose-day.
People are wondering who will win the 2016 Presidential election, but I already know who will win the next election.
That's because I've got 2020 vision.
Can't you just feel the excitement in the air?!!?
Only one more day left until the start of the 2020 Presidential Election Season!!
BREAKING NEWS: DONALD TRUMP DROPS OUT OF THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION!
He says he just realized he'd be moving into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
*Spoiler* US Presidential Election Result Leaked
The dodgy, incompetent, unfit, slightly psychotic, rich, possibly criminal one who should 't even be in the race, wins.
What does the presidential election and the Cleveland Browns have in common???
No one is going to win.....
If you're upset about the presidential election, just wait four years
then you'll be able to choose between Trump or Kanye
Donald Trump and the 2016 Presidential Election
I would make a political joke about it but then it would get elected.
What will the presidential candidate for the next election choose as his/her campaign motto?
"Make America *good* again"
Junk foods are so versatile!
A bag of Lays can be used as fuel for a fire in an emergency, you can have finger sword fights with Bugles, and now, a Cheeto has won the United States Presidential Election!
Why did Donald Trump win Florida in the Presidential Election?
Floridians have seen the positive effect an Orange can have on the economy.
Congratulations to the winner of the 2016 Presidential Election.
The Curiosity rover currently 140 million miles away on Mars.
For the 2028 US presidential elections, an honest candidate with sensible policy and a clean track record is nominated as a party candidate.
... yup, that's the joke. That's all.
i see your hacked presidential election emails
and raise you with an assassinated envoy
never know
You know what the French Presidential Election has taught us?
Le Pen is mightier than the sword.
The 2016 Presidential Election ended in a tie
So then president Obama decided the tie breaker would a race around the White House, with the fastest time being awarded the presidency. Bernie Sanders being the honest man he is went first, but is older and well past his physical prime, completed the race on 17 minutes 46 seconds. Trump being the next man up is in a bit better physical shape in 15 minutes even. Hilary Clinton wanting to assure the country is safe from Donald Trump cuts a few corners to improve her time. At the finish line Obama informs her she ran a time of 10 minutes 17 seconds. "Wow!" Hilary responds "10:17 must be a record!" jumping for joy. "Not exactly" States Obama. "Bush did 9:11"
What TV show can you compare to the 2016 US presidential elections?
Orange is the new black.
I asked a friend in DC what it was like after the 2016 presidential election
He said it was like a man on the Titanic with a glass of whiskey, saying "well yes, I did ask for ice, but . . ."
How many Puerto Rican voters have to die before Trump decides to save one?
All of them. Puerto Ricans can't vote in the presidential election....
The first Jewish President of the United States is elected.
The night before the inauguration he calls his mother.
"Mom, I'd love for you to come visit and stay with me during the inauguration and for a few days."
"Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days."
"Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!"
"Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous."
"Mom, the Presidential motorcade will drive you here."
"But accommodations, especially during the inau---"
"MOM!! I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!"
She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend.
"Who was that?"
"My son."
*gasp* "The doctor??"
"No, the other one."
The incel party presidential candidate was doing quite well until he advocated for excecution of all men who have had s**....
Another election lost because of hanging chads.
Do you ever wish we could do the 2016 presidential election all over with 2 decent candidates to choose from?
What is the difference between a dumpster fire and the 2016 presidential election?
A dumpster fire gets rid of garbage
There once was a woman named Ricity Thompson.
She was a successful politician, eventually becoming a popular presidential candidate. People were enthusiastic about her campaign, many chanting for her to be elected. Her opponent, Geoffrey McDonald, was also popular, and it was tough to say who would become the POTUS. Until that fateful November afternoon: the votes were tallying up, more than had ever been seen. The voting machine couldn't process all the information. Overloaded, it began to malfunction, releasing an electric bolt that hit McDonald square in the chest. Indeed, in the end, his downfall was elect Ricity.
Why did the Quantum Computer win the presidential election?
Because for the first time in history ***nobody*** could ever be sure what values it held
New presidential election rules, only 100% honest people can run.
... now we have until 2020 to find two honest people, it's not looking good.
Why does the Russian presidential election smell bad?
Cause the winners always pootin'
-Sorry
It's hard to win an argument against a woman. Impossible to win against an idiot
And that concludes my examination of the 2016 Presidential election
If Steve Jobs was still alive and a presidential candidate, he would have won the 2016 Election...
But let's not compare Apples to Oranges.
My mother-in-law can m**... any joke.
After the 2000 Presidential elections with the multiple vote recounts in Florida, she came home and told us the funniest joke she had just heard:
Have you seen the new Texas quarter?
You count it five times!
I don't get people who try to predict the next US presidential election
I mean, do they think they have 2020 vision?
Joke from my Russian friend about the last presidential election:
Advisor: Putin! I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?
Putin: The good news of course.
Advisor: You won the election!
Putin: So then whats the bad news?
Advisor: No one voted for you.
What do you call it when you see two s**... predators running?
2020 US Presidential Election
The Presidential Election will never bring a satisfactory conclusion, there's no flow it's just one candidate that changes the subject constantly,while the other can't perform for too long
we truly have Electile Dysfunction
Why did the block of cheese run in the US presidential election?
Because he wanted to make America grate again.
There was clear fraud and cheating in the 2020 United States Presidential election
and despite cheating, Trump still lost!
Two conspiracy theorists die and go to heaven...
God: welcome to the St. Peter's Gates. With my omniscient knowledge, I can tell you anything you wish to know.
Conspiracy Theorist 1: Who won the 2020 US Presidential Election?
God: Joseph R. Biden
Conspiracy Theorist 2: \*Looks at his friend\* s**... dude, this goes even deeper than we thought