Following is our collection of funniest President jokes. There are some president hillary jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these president presidential puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
"Mister President, we've been over this..."
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
Trump says, Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?
The kid replies, You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.
But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.
He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."
He said, NO!
I told him, She is Bill Gates' daughter.
He said, OK.
I called Bill Gates and said, I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates said, NO.
I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.
Bill Gates said, OK.
I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.
He said, NO.
I told him, My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law.
He said, OK.
This is how politics works.
That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes.
Bartender says "What can I get you Mr. President?"
President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology.
A scientist says to him "We have two projects that we are very proud of. One is a powered exoskeleton and the other is an invisibility cloak. Which would you like to try first?"
Obama replies, "Uh, let me be clear."
Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President.
That means the entire country went black and successfully went back.
You can explore president chairman reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean president impeachment dad jokes. There are also president puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
He orders the Secret Service to investigate. They come back a few hours later with the results.
"Mr. President, we have bad news and worse news."
"What's the bad news?"
"The urine belongs to the Vice President."
"What could possibly be worse than that?"
"The handwriting belongs to the First Lady."
That is the joke. There's no punchline here.
We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.
Because orange is the new black.
Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted.
....Like the words President Bush.
Oops. I meant female but the emale got deleted
But he's doing more than anyone else in the world to stop Donald Trump from being elected president.
She doesn't want to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison.
But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become President.
Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months.
The 45th President of the United States of America.
He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.
The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.
I'm starting to believe him.
The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a Broadway musical.
The Secret Service will have to yell "Donald duck!"
The US Postal Services releases a stamp with a picture of President Trump. But the new stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.
After weeks of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:
The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. The fact is, people are spitting on the wrong side.
and Trump can not tell the difference
Nobody knows what may happen.
Trump may trump May or May may trump Trump.
but we shouldn't elect them President.
That way we'd never have WW3.
After all, Trump may trump May, or May may trump Trump
I did and we do.
Now they yell Donald, duck
I didn't know it was a warning.
But i shouldn't compare apples and oranges.
We'll return him back to you.
I wanted to test this out and Googled "how to kill President"
Few days later I received a care package containing ammo
I didn't say female because someone deleted the emale.
I'd love to have one
The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand.", off he goes.
The next person to grab one is Donald Trump:
"Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things to this country" and he jumps out.
Left in the plane is an old man and a young school boy.
"Go on take the last one", the old man said, "I lived a long and fulfilled life." Hearing that the school boy answered calmly, "Don't worry, we'll both be okay. Our most intelligent President yet just took my backpack."
Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton, I would be stuck with a president under constant federal investigation from day one.
Turned out, he was right. I voted for Clinton and I have been stuck for years with a president under federal investigation from day one.
But that's comparing apples to oranges.
A Secret Service agent, new on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse! This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. Later, the Secret Service agent's supervisor asks him, Why the hell did you shout Mickey Mouse?
Blushing, the agent replies, I got nervous. I meant to shout...... Donald, duck!
Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important.
>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.**
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere.**
**It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!**
**Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!**
**By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"**
**His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."**
The bartender says "What can I get you Mr. President?"
Because he definitely doesn't have any cash.
A full recovery
He might get to be president for the rest of his life.
Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we've done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. That traitor , shouts Trump. I'll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news? Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting .
At least not till January which won't come soon enough.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.
..for improving my vocabulary. I would have never known the meaning of sedition, insurrection, quid pro quo, colluding, etc without you!
Son responds: Really? Well, when he was your age, he was president.
I don't know, but for now, she's just Biden her time.
Lame Duck A L'Orange, and for dessert, ImPEACHment Cobbler.
Exactly. Happy Trumps Not President Anymore Day!
...so she counted out the number of hours left until Trump is no longer President.
Me: You are bi-den?
When Mrs. Coolidge came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, "Dozens of times each day."
Mrs. Coolidge said, "Tell that to the President when he comes by."
When the President came by the henhouse, the guide dutifully told him what his wife had said.
"Same hen every time?" the President asked.
"Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time."
The President nodded his head. "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the president presidency jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working president smartest president ever piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.