President Barack Jokes
43 president barack jokes and hilarious president barack puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about president barack that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest President Barack Short Jokes
Short president barack jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The president barack humour may include short president obama jokes also.
- Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump? Because orange is the new black.
- You know, people in the 1970s thought there would be a black president when pigs fly... Then barack obama was elected. And after a year, swine flu.
- What do Barack Obama and Donald Trump have in common? Both are former presidents of the USA and both are harassed for the color of their skin.
- What did Republicans think was so terrible about Barack's presidency? It was an Obama-nation!
- Lonely Obama What is the previous president, Mr. Barack's, go to song when he is lonely?
.
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O-ba-ma-self..don't wanna be! - Barack Obama couldn't have been that great a president.... After all, we went black and then went back.
- Me: After Barack it will be a while before we got another president of color. Me now:...I didn't think it would happen so soon, and that the color would be orange
- Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so.
He remind him of Trivette... - A comedian, a r**..., and the President of the United States are in an elevator .. and then Barack says to the other guy "Always liked you most in The Cosby Show".
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President Barack One Liners
Which president barack one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with president barack? I can suggest the ones about barack obama and barack michelle.
- Why does Japan love Obama? He is first Barack president.
- What's the president's favorite vegetable? Barack-oli
- What is President Obama's favorite genre of music? Barack 'n Roll.
Ba dum tss. - What do you call chapstick made by President Barack Obama A lip oBALMa
- Barack Obama If Barack Obama was such a good President where is Barack Obama II?
- About the Presidency of the United States If it ain't Barack, don't fix it. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
- I can't believe we have a barack president. It's an obamanation!
- Everyone should support President Obama and her husband Barack
- Is President Obama white? No, he's Barack!
- How does President Obama eat broccoli? Barack-ly.
Playful President Barack Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about president barack you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean president jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make president barack pranks.
Honestly, I'm just amazed he managed to pull it off.
When he first ran for president, nobody thought he could do it. When he started gaining in the polls, we all "knew" how it would end. But he showed us we were all wrong.
Congratulations to Barack Obama going eight years without being shot.
Dave knows everyone joke
Dave was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?”
“No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and Tom Cruise shouts,
“Dave! What’s happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!”
Although impressed, Dave’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else,” Dave says.
“President Obama,” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yup,” Dave says, “Old buddies, let’s fly out to Washington,” and off they go.
At the White House, Obama spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a beer first and catch up.”
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.
“Pope Francis,” his boss replies.
“Sure!” says Dave. “I’ve known the Pope for years.” So off they fly to Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican’s St. Peter’s Square when Dave says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.” He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Making his way to his boss’ side, Dave asks him, “What happened?”
His boss looks up and says, “It was the final straw… you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, ‘Who the f**... is that on the balcony with Dave?’
Just last week a smiling Barack Obama overpaid for hot dogs at my stand, but kindly insisted I "keep the change, son, I don't want it"
It was at this moment I realized how far our beloved president had truly fallen.
In honor of Throwback Thursday, here's a joke from 2008.
What will happen if Hillary Clinton becomes president?
She will file for divorce.
And what will happen if Barack Obama becomes president?
He'll have the White House repainted.
So Obama calls Romney....
And says, I got good news and bad news. Romney says "What is it?" Obama says "Well the good news is I think it's time for a m**... president." "That's great Barack! What's the bad news?" Obama chuckles and says "My baptism is next Sunday"
Barack Obama walks into a Halloween Party with the First Lady on his shoulders...
...the doorman says, "Excuse me Mr. President, but this is a Halloween party. Why aren't you dressed up?" Obama says, "I am dressed up! I'm a snail. I got Michelle on my back."
The Russian President Vladimir Putin called Barack Obama with an emergency request
Mr President, we need help. Our largest c**... factory has exploded, the Russian President explained. My people now have no method of birth control! This is a true disaster!
Vladimir, said Obama, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you.
We do need your help, said Putin.
Could you possibly send one million condoms to tide us over? No problem, I'm on it, said Obama.
Oh, and one more small favour, please? said Putin. Yes? said Obama.
Can you supply the condoms red in colour and at least ten inches long and four inches in diameter?
No problem, replied Obama, and with that, he hung up and called the CEO of Durex. I need a favour, you've got to make one million condoms right away and send them to Russia.
Consider it done, said the CEO of Durex.
Great! Now listen, they have to be red in colour, ten inches long and four inches wide.
Easily done. Anything else?
Yes, says Obama. Print 'MADE IN USA, SIZE MEDIUM' on each one.
Hillary, Donald Trump, and Barack Obama were waiting in the green room before a banquet with the movers and shakers of DC...
Suddenly a heavenly chorus of angels sang, and God appeared to the trio.
In a booming voice God said, Each of you may ask one question, and I will answer it.
Obama asked, Will there ever be another black president?
God replied, Yes. But not during your lifetime.
Trump asked, Will liberals ever think I was a good president?
God said, Yes. But not during your lifetime.
Hillary asked, Will I ever be president of the United States?
God answered, Yes. But not during MY lifetime.
In a parallel universe, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton were applying to be a president.
They had to fill out a form. The form asked for their name, s**..., birthday, address, religion and so on plus a few essay questions.
Trump wasn't sure how to answer some questions because they seemed too personal, so he peeked at Hilary's form. He saw the first line which said Name: Hilary Clinton. s**...: F. Birthday: Oct 26, 1947.
He then peeked at Obama's form and only saw the top part that said Name: Barrack Obama. s**...: M. Birthday: Aug 4, 1961.
Trump smirked and proudly filled out his form where he wrote Name: Donald Trump. s**...: MWF.
Obama walks into a bar, but he's invisible.
The bartender says "Ok, I'll bite. Why are you invisible?"
Barack says "Well, I found a bottle on the beach and...then I rubbed it." "And then...importantly...A genie came out." "The genie said I could have...3 wishes."
For my first wish, I said "Let me say this, and this is profoundly important...I want Michelle to marry me...I love her,...and I think America will love her too." That wish was granted.
For my second wish, I said "Like all patriotic Americans, I am deeply patriotic...and I want to be President...of the United States...so I can serve my country." That wish was granted too.
And then, for my third wish, I started by saying "Let me be clear..."
Roses are red, violets are blue...
Let's dispel once and for all with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows EXACTLY what he's doing. Barack Obama is undertaking a systematic effort to change this country, to make America more like the rest of the world.
That's why he passed Obamacare and the stimulus and Dodd-Frank and the deal with Iran. It is a systematic effort to change America. When I'm president of the United States, we are going to re-embrace all the things that made America the greatest nation in the world and we are going to leave our children with what they deserve: the single greatest nation in the history of the world.
An airplane was about to c**... with Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, an old man and a young boy...
Unfortunately there were only 3 parachutes left for the 4 of them.
Barack Obama said I am the president of the United States, and I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people, and a superpower! So he takes the 1st parachute, and jumps out of the plane.
Hillary Clinton, said I am the future first female President of the United States and I am the smartest woman in the world. So she takes the 2nd parachute and exits the plane.
The old man kneels down to the young boy and says, "I am old and frail and I've lived many years, you take the last parachute."
The young boy responds, It's ok! We have enough parachutes. The world's smartest woman jumped out of the airplane with my backpack.
An airplane is about to c**... with Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and old man and a young boy...
Unfortunately there were only 3 parachutes left for the 4 of them.
Barack Obama said I am the president of the United States, and I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people, and a superpower! So he takes the 1st parachute, and jumps out of the plane.
Hillary Clinton, said I am the future first female President of the United States and I am the smartest woman in the world. So she takes the 2nd parachute and exits the plane.
The old man kneels down to the young boy and says, "I am old and frail and I've lived many years, you take the last parachute."
The young boy responds, It's ok! We have enough parachutes. The world's smartest woman jumped out of the airplane with my backpack.
A white man, a black man and an orange man walk into the bar.
The white man goes up to the bar to order a whiskey. The barman goes, "Hey, aren't you George Bush?"
"Yes, I am" he replies. "Well Mr. President it's an honor."
Then the black man goes up to the bar to get his drink. "Hey, aren't you Barack Obama?" asks the barman. "Yes I am", Obama responds. "Two presidents in my bar in one day; this is the highlight of my life" the barman gushes.
Then the orange man walks up to the bar. The barman immediately tells him to get out of the bar. Furiously, he asks why and the barman exclaims "Ted; you just got a new liver last week. Your wife would kill me if I gave you a drink."